-Let's skip four years yay-

October 3 2008, 21:09, Friday 

We've been quite successful over the years, winning many awards, releasing new songs. Speaking of new songs, our latest album Mirotic was released a few days ago and it turned out to be a great hit. It's good, basically everything is good...but, I don't know. Don't get me wrong, I love my group and all the members, just that, there are times where I want to escape.

I get stressed out too much these days, not only physically but mentally as well. Being an idol isn't easy, I knew that even before I came into the company, but sometimes I just wish I could be free from the idol world. As for my relationship with Yunho...

Things haven't really changed even after all these years. In fact, it's getting even harder to keep this up. I don't think I can last longer...

I need a break.

I went to see my manager and ask him about what I had in mind. He agreed.

Throughout the years, I never stopped loving Yunho. Any effort to get over him was useless. But that doesn't mean I can't still try. 

Well this could work. Maybe if I didn't see him often, I'll eventually forget. And we'll go back to being friends again. Ok well technically we're still friends but with a one sided love that the other one doesn't even know. 

It hurts when I see him everyday. I want us to be closer, I want to kiss him, I want to be able to touch him freely, I want him to take me to the movies, I want to stay up at night listening to his voice as he sings me to sleep, I want so many things...that I can't have.

The rumor about him liking Changmin hasn't ever left my mind, and seeing them both everyday gives me a headache. I know I shouldn't believe in something that may or may not be true but after seeing all the things that are happening, what can I really do? Heck, I even overheard some of the members in Super Junior teasing him about Changmin.

Alright so I haven't really told my best friend any of this and I don't know what he thinks of this either but anyhow, I think it's best I stay away for now. I mean, it's not gonna be such a long time.

I went back to the dorms to tell Yoochun and Junsu to pack up. 

Its just one month, Jaejoong. You'll get over it.

Right. I've spent four years and I'm still not over it, how can I do that in one month? 

That's because you're always with him. Maybe if you distanced yourself and not think about him, it'll work.