I sat up in bed so fast the room was spinning but I didn’t care. I kind of flopped onto the ground landing, on my side. I groaned in pain but somehow managed to sit up. I practically ran to the door – well I limped-ran, my leg was killing me, but I kept moving. I threw the door open and stumbled through the threshold nearly falling over, but I managed to catch myself by grabbing the doorknob. Panting, I looked up to see if anyone was in the living room.

I stopped breathing all together. There were people in the living room alright. Yeah, Jinki and Taemin. Making out. On the couch. The both ripped apart when they noticed I was there, Jinki stood up and starting blabbering incoherent words, trying to explain something that didn’t need to be explained. It was obvious. Taemin just sat on the couch and blushed like a fire truck.

“Jinki” I stated holding up my hand telling him to stop. “Shut up, I figured as much. I’m not mad; to be honest I don’t care at all. Now can you help me? I need to find Jjong.” He snapped his jaw shut and walked over to me. He motioned for me to get on his back; I gladly accepted the offer and jumped on.

“He’ll be right back Tae.” I said as we passed the couch. Taemin was still in shock I assumed; because he didn’t give a reaction greater than a nod.

“So where is he?”I asked as we walked down a hallway.

“He ran out of the house awhile ago. I think Chaerin was with him. “ he said as we approached the door, he stuffed his feet in his boots and put my slippers on mine to keep my feet warm.

“What do you mean he ran out?”

“I mean he literally stormed out of the house all hot and heavy about… something.”

“I remembered Jinki, its okay.” I whispered into his ear.  He sighed and didn’t say anything for awhile

“Thank you Kibum.” He said finally.

“For what?”

“For not… minding… you know…” he seemed to have trouble getting it out.

“About you and Tae? Jinki, you should be able to say that you two are together, and say it proudly at that.” I nagged at him, he chuckled.

“You’re the first person to know Kibum, I’ve never had to say we’re together to anyone but him before.”  I breathed in sharply. It hit me then, that I indirectly told Jjong that I loved him. He’s obviously upset, because he doesn’t love me back. We weren’t going to end up like Jinki and Taemin. I was going to end up with an ex-best friend. Tears stung my eyes. I’d rather have died in the snow than face Jjong walking away from me for good.

“You okay Kibum?” Jinki asked, worry in his voice.

“J-Jinki” I stuttered, “we have to move faster – I have to find him, to tell him I’m sorry.” I feverishly wiped at my eyes to no avail the tears kept coming. I’ve been crying a lot lately, how depressing.

“Apologize? For what?” he started to move faster down he side walk, I was grateful.

“F-for l-loving him! He hates me. I’m a such an idiot.” I started to sob into his shoulder.

“Kibum?” I held onto his shoulders tighter. “Kibum! Listen to me, he doesn’t hate you.” I lifted my head,

“What do you mean?” I asked slowly.

“It’s not that-” I cut him off by screaming.

“Jinki! Put me down!”  he did as he was told. Just ahead of us was Jjong and Chaerin standing on a cliff edge, leaning over a railing, Jjong had his head down and Chaerin was patting his back comfortingly. As soon as my feet hit the ground I took off running. I ignored the constant protest from my ankle.

“Jjong!” I yelled at them. “Jonghyun!” he turned around after hearing his name, his expression turned into one of shock.

“Jjong! I’m so sorry,” I practically ran right into him, I had slipped on the ice. He steadied me; holding onto my arms. His face was still in shock. “Jonghyun, I’m so, so, so, so sorry! Please don’t hate me, I promise I’ll never say it again.” I started to cry again.

“Please Jjong, don’t hate me, stay my friend.” Talking was started to get harder as my body shook from the sobs, “please…” I said quietly, “Please don’t leave me.” I broke down then and slumped to the icy road beneath me. I sobbed hard into my hands. I felt like a complete fool, not only was I embarrassing myself, but I was making a huge scene. Embarrassing Jjong in front of Chaerin. I heard shuffling beside me as someone walked away. I was probably Jjong, and that fact made me cry even harder.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I repeated over and over again. Someone knelt beside me.

“Kibum, Kibum stand up. Here give me your hand.” I was crying to hard to really hear what the person was saying to me, but I took the hand anyway, once I was standing I opened my eyes to see Jjong in front of me. I look around and realized it was Chaerin and Jinki who’d left.

“I’m sorry Jjong.” I said one more time. But at this point I knew, there was no point in saying it anymore, it wouldn’t make a difference.