Secret Agents Dictionary:

Cryptology: The science of secret writing in all its forms

She admired the way the sun shined over the blue ocean, the waves crashing at the sand of the beach that imprisoned her. He walked barefooted by her side and stopped admiring the same view as her.

They were alone in a beach with no way to leave it and without knowing when they would be rescued, however she never felt alone when he was around her. Surprisingly she felt happier as she never did before.

Maybe that was love.

“Does it hurt?” He asked gently, smiling beautifully, wrinkles in the corner of his eyes.

She glanced at her leg, where the cut she made when they got straddled on that island was still burning.

“No!” She didn’t want to worry him.

He sat by her side and kissed her cheek, his fingers taking their time caressing her neck. “You can tell me anything.”

That was a lie. She could never tell him that she loved him, it was too overwhelming and she was afraid her heart would explode into tiny pieces if she did.

“Lily…”He called gently as if he had to call her to get her attention when he was all she could see, hear, think…

Taken from Song Areum’s first novel Lost in Love

To Areum Lost in Love was like a baby. It was the first book she ever wrote and the first and only she managed to publish. It was a very simple story about how you can find love and freedom once you leave your comfort zone and what you know.

Lily was just a normal girl that had to work ever since she left high school to support her family and her sick dad. One day she wins a lottery and gets a ticket to enter a luxury cruise. She does so and destiny strikes when she finds herself stranded on an island with someone that apparently has nothing to do with her, an idol that carries around a cute pineapple bag and that she barely knows.

Both were prisoners in their lives, not able to do what they wanted and both fell in love in the island, giving in to passion. However the day they were saved arrived, and they found themselves living their old lives even though they weren’t the same anymore. How can you go back to your old life after knowing how it feels like? After falling in love, after knowing how to be loved feels like?

Areum wrote it before she knew Jinki but once she saw him smile at her jokes, small wrinkles on the side of his eyes while he raised a cup of coffee to his lips, like the idol of her story;  she felt something inside her change. He didn’t even need to call her name anymore because he was all she could see.

How to live after knowing what he made her feel that night? After knowing what love was?

For once she was sure that she was a good writer. She wrote about love before actually feeling it and now that she met Jinki she knew she was right about all.

Still she couldn’t say she loved him risking her heart to break into tiny pieces knowing that he didn’t love her back.

However her mother always told her that she should be honest about what she felt if she expected others to be honest with her. If life gave her the chance she would tell Jinki about her feelings and she was sure he would be honest with her too even if she was afraid of what he had to tell her.

- Several Years ago - 

Minho was always the trusting type.

He often left his backpack where anyone could see it when he worked with the kids at the orphanage even if anyone told him not to do so. He always trusted everyone in college which made his friends call him marshmallow, something that Jonghyun called him often too. He didn’t mind. He was proud of that side of him.

So that afternoon when he searched through Nana’s bag he didn’t feel proud at all.

He didn’t want to. He wanted to trust her, even more now that she told him all about her past. But she wasn’t helping, disappearing for hours, leaving the room to speak on the phone in all secrecy.

She was making it hard for him to trust her. She was shutting him out of her life not even giving him a chance to prove that he was able to protect her.

So once she came back from one of her weird phone calls, hiding a paper inside her wallet and saying that she was going to shower he didn’t lose any second to stand up from the couch to snoop inside her bag.

He found her wallet and opened, the small orange paper almost falling on his hands.

Minho read it quickly.

Tomorrow

8:45

The White Tulip

He memorized the words and placed it inside her wallet again, closing her bag and sitting on the couch.

White Tulip.

That name was familiar to him but he didn’t know from where so he the Wi-Fi and entered Naver.

Once Nana came out from her shower with a towel around her wet hair and one barely covering her body Minho was lying on the couch staring at the ceiling.

“Is everything ok?” she asked grabbing her tiny satin night gown that he loved.

“Is it?” He asked enigmatically releasing a deep sigh.

Nana hesitated but still pulled the night gown over her body.

“Nana…” he said not even looking at her “you won’t ever lie to me anymore right? You will never keep secrets from me anymore….”

He couldn’t bare to look at her because he knew she was going to lie.

“Of course not!”

He closed his eyes clenching his teeth. Lies…all lies.

He searched White Tulip on Naver while she showered. He knew she was still working even though he told her to stop. Even though he promised to protect her!

White Tulip was a love hotel. The same one he used to pass every time he went to help at the orphanage in one of the poor neighborhoods.

- 3 Years ago - 

“Thank God you are here hyung!” Taemin said rubbing his eyes. He clearly didn’t sleep much and had a scarf wrapped around his neck covering his mouth making him look even more like a kid.

Jinki sat by his side, his eyes moving to the woman a few meters away with a book in her hand.

“She really likes this library. She comes here every day!” Taemin told Jinki. He didn’t have too though. He knew almost everything about Areum by now and what he didn’t know about her he didn’t mind finding out slowly, every day.

“How did your studying go?” Jinki felt awful because he made Taemin protect Areum and study for his entrance exams at the same time, spending the nights studying instead of sleeping. Sometimes Minho traded with him so he could rest. But now that Jinki has recovered Taemin could go back to being a normal student, at least until another mission showed up.

“Do you really think I’ll be able to enter college?” Taemin sighed making Jinki widen his eyes.

Taemin never ever lost his confidence.

“Who learned to play the piano? Who learned how to fight like a pro? Who never ever once gave up about reaching his dreams?” Jinki asked making Taemin smile.

“Me!”

“Exactly! Taemin, our Ace! Because he never gives up, because he works harder than everyone else! Because he is talented!”

“I know! I know!” Taemin rubbed his eyes. “I’m just tired. She had several signing events yesterday and I had to follow her around the whole day. Noona is becoming famous Jinki.”

“I know and I didn’t even buy her book yet!”

“You should!” Taemin coughed “I think I’m getting a cold too!”

Jinki frowned sadly. Taemin looked awful and yet he couldn’t regret being happy that he protected Areum.

“I’ll do it for now on. You can go!”

Yet Taemin didn’t move and stayed watching Jinki.  “You should talk to her!”

“No way! Jonghyun forbade me!”

“Nah! He said that just for saying!” Taemin chuckled and crossed his arms watching his hyung, how his eyes never left the girl with a black beanie that oblivious read her book.

He knew that she loved Jinki. He watched her for days and heard her talk about him once in her sleep.

Yes, he entered her apartment sometimes. It was warmer inside and he needed a warm comfortable place to study. Besides he could protect her better if he stayed closer to her. The bugs he placed around her house were helpful to know what she was doing but actually sleeping in the same house than her was easier.

It was dangerous sometimes, but Areum never saw Taemin. He was too silent and fast. He was truly like a ninja.

Also being inside her apartment meant that he could get to know her. He was curious about the woman that won his brother’s heart. He started by reading her novel. It wasn’t his type of novel but he enjoyed it. She had a quirky humor and she seemed like a very sweet and emotional person. Taemin also read her weak tries at writing a synopsis for her new book.

 Jinki. She always named the main character after him. He even read a short description of a scene that made him blush, not because he was new to those things, no, he had his share of partners, but because he was sure she was describing how she and Jinki made love. Taemin didn’t want to imagine his brother with a woman, so he closed her cute notebook with pandas once he realized what he was reading. He felt as if he read her diary, as if he witnessed the scene. That was how good she was with words.

 If only his hyung knew how much she longed for him as he longed for her.

“She loves you!”

The words made Jinki flinch but he didn’t say anything.

“She thinks about you all the time. She writes about you. She says your name in her sleep. I swear she wrote your night together as if it was a page of her diary, describing every little detail to the point that I felt like I was there in the room spying you two!”

Jinki stared at Taemin making the young man blush and raise his arms in his defense.

“I only read a little until I realized what it was! It was intense!”

“ Taemin!” Jinki said rubbing his neck. He rarely cursed in front of him but Jinki was clearly embarrassed. “It was just a one night thing…”

“Not for her. It was the first time she made love with a man.”

Jinki groaned.

“Her words not mine!”

“It wasn’t only for me either…” Jinki said under his breath making Taemin smile.

“Waaaa. True love!”

Jinki didn’t answer but Taemin could see how his eyes faded, how sad and defeated he looked.

“Do you think that I also don’t think like you do?” Taemin played with his scarf around his neck. “I had a family once Jinki. I lost my brother but I am who I am. I rarely feel anything anymore, but you do Jinki. You are not like me. You deserve a family. I told you before. I would help you in anything. Because I….” Taemin’s voice failed him “Me and your parents and everyone want you to be happy. We are willing to make sacrifices for you so please don’t let them be in vain!”

Jinki smiled thankful at his little brother and caressed his shoulder “I know and I’m sorry but I really can’t. It’s unfair for her. I can be her death!”

“She can be your death either. You were in a bed for weeks and yet here you are!”

Jinki didn’t answer and instead stood up when Areum did the same.

“She is going to pick up another book!” Jinki said following her, both walking in the same direction, on different edges of the corridor. She wasn’t even looking at him, absort on her thoughts and he smiled observing her. He loved how she would get lost in her thoughts, he loved how she bit her lower lip mumbling silent words to herself, he loved her.

And Taemin knew it. That’s why he did what he had to do.

He followed after Jinki, bumping his shoulder against him making him go against one of the carts filled with books, several of them falling to the floor making the sound resonate around the room. He knew that his brother would never walk on without picking them up. Jinki was gentle like that.

“Damn Taemin” He mumbled, staring at Taemin’s back while he walked away of the library, knowing that he did it on purpose. Jinki stumbled to grab the books just when a familiar pair of green sneakers stopped in front of him.

“Jinki?”

He rose his eyes, taking his time on her body, counting the small holes on her worn out jeans and then admiring the cute Doraemon  sweater before ending at her face.

“Areum!” He wasn’t even admired. That’s what Taemin wanted all along and he did it. The little devil!

“I-It’s really you!” She seemed lost, her cheeks getting redder and he stood up with the books placing them in a random order over the cart. She looked lovely and yet very tired with bangs under her eyes. Her hair was longer and she looked thinner. Taemin said she was working too much, promoting her book and yet he was happy for her. She was still as beautiful as he remembered and he couldn’t stop looking at her eyes and lips.

“You released your book at last!”

“Yes!” She said smiling, relieved that he choose a topic she could talk about without sounding too happy to see him. “It hit the top three in several bookstores. Not the first spot since Kim Jonghyun released a book at the same time I did…”

Jinki frowned. He was going to kick Jonghyun’s once he saw him again. How could he?! He had so many books published and he had to freaking take away the spotlight out of the girl he loved.

HE DIDN’T LOVE HER! He lied to himself.

“His books are over rated!” Jinki said bitterly. He was lying though. He knew how Jonghyun as a good writer but he blamed him for not letting her shine properly.

“No! It’s ok! It’s a dream come through to have one of my books near his! I LOVE HIM!”

“No you can’t love him!” Jinki said quickly making her confused. “I mean….he is married!”

He was acting like a jealous fool and Areum chuckled softly.

“I know. I mean that he is my favorite writer! My dream is to meet him someday.”

Jinki moved his hand on his pocket touching his cellphone. Jonghyun was only a phone call away from him but to Areum he was very far away.

It was like both of them. So close to the point that he could touch her if he rose his fingers and yet so far.

The conversation died again and Areum bit her lip. He knew what she was going to say even before she did it.

“I called you several times but you never answered.”

She called him almost every day and he always made a huge effort to ignore it.

“I sound desperate right?”

He wanted to tell her that she didn’t but he didn’t want to give her false hopes.

“I only wanted to clear things up with you and I need to tell you something.”

“Then do it. So we can end this!” He said as rudely as he mastered to. “I have important things to do!” Like protect you and admire you from a distance.

Areum clearly wasn’t expecting that because it was as if his words hit her. He felt awful and grabbed a book from the cart making a huge effort to not release it and grab her instead.

“That night…”

No. Not that night…not after what Taemin told him. She made love with him. She loved him. She wrote every little detail of that night so she wouldn’t forget it. While he repeated it to himself at night so he wouldn’t forget it.

“That night…” he repeated trying to seem emotionless about it. “What about it?”

“It gave me the impression that it was different…”

He didn’t even look at her. He couldn’t. “It was good !”

He was afraid that if he did look at her he would falter.

“Yes but…I….” she grabbed the book on his hand and pulled it away throwing it into the cart making him look at her.

Her eyes were wet and it broke his heart.

“I feel like a fool because I can’t forget it. I thought I could at first, that you were just another guy like the others but I can’t and I keep thinking about everything we did ever since we met each other and wondering if I did something wrong that night…Maybe I did…I don’t know. Did I?”

He swallowed nervously and she moved her hands nervously.

No. She was perfect, every second of that night, every gesture, every kiss, every touch… It was perfect!

“I think…this will sound pretty ridiculous but I need to tell you. I don’t hide what I feel, you see. My mom always told me that we need to be honest about our feelings and I try to live by those rules…”

“Your mom was right!” He said without knowing what to say and obviously making her more frustrated because he clearly wasn’t doing that.

“You are not going to answer my question before I tell you what I feel?” She asked grabbing his hand making him panic because that was his weakness. He loved holding her hand. Besides his sister and brother no one ever held his hand after the accident; and no hand felt as if it fitted perfectly in his than hers did.

“Jinki I think…I think I love you!” She said in a whisper, seeming scared of that feeling, with sparkling beautiful eyes, her lips pronouncing the words clearly, her hand caressing his in expectation “Did you feel something different that night? Because I did…I…My heart was beating so much I thought it would explode! The same is happening right now only because I’m next to you!” She smiled embarrassed, her dimples coming out to greet him, and that was it. He couldn’t hold on anymore, not when she was confessing to him in such adorable way.

He pulled her by her hand to the end of the corridor. She confusedly followed him wondering why he urgently pulled her, his eyes roaming the corridors as if they were being followed.

She loved him! He loved her! He missed her!

He turned around with her when they reached a dead end and pushed Areum against the wall so they were both hidden by the books.

She was so beautiful and he desperately needed her!

“What are you doing?” She was still able to ask before his lips crushed against hers.

She hummed surprised closing her eyes immediately and wrapping her arms around his neck. No man ever kissed her so intensely and she ardently kissed back matching the same passion he was giving her.

He pulled her as if she weighted nothing against him and then pushed her to the wall as if he wanted to take in all of her inside him. His lips moved demanding against hers in a kiss that didn’t seem to be ending soon.

She moved her fingers on his hair and little by little the grip he had on her lessened the movement of his lips slowing down until he moved away just enough to look at her.

Areum opened her eyes and watched him. He raised one hand to caress her face tucking her hair behind her ear admiring her, her long eyelashes, the way her lips looked after he kissed her, her beautiful rosy cheeks because she was embarrassed and probably overwhelmed with what just happened, with the intensity of their feelings.

He wanted to tell her how beautiful she was but no words were coming out of his mouth. His body wanted her; he needed her, so he kissed Areum again, this time more slowly, as if he was drinking from her lips.

His body seemed to have a life of his own and soon he was caressing her under her white sweater, tracing her stomach like he did that night and upwards to her beautiful full s.

She moaned when he caressed her over her bra making him even more aroused, making his fingers go down to her pants instead, ing them, sneaking inside, reaching her .

“Not here…” She said pushing him away from her lips just long enough to speak. He kissed her again but she turned her head making him kiss her neck instead. He didn’t seem to mind, delivering sweet kisses all over her exposed neck making her lose her concentration, her words disappearing inside her mind. He was the only one who could make her speechless, who could erase all thoughts from her mind, who could take her far away with only one touch…

“Not…” She sighed deeply “Not here. Let’s go to my bed…”

Her bed. Where they made love for the first time. He could do it. Jinki could go with her and they could spend the day making love, he could quench his thirst from her, but what would happen after, when he wanted her again. Could he do that to her?! Having with her whenever he missed her?! Breaking her heart and his again in the morning.

No. He couldn’t!

That was all he needed to recover control over his body and heart and step back from her.

Areum widened her eyes confused with his actions.

“We can’t do this!” He tried to ignore her red plump lips that he attacked so fervently before.

“What do you mean?” She asked pulling her sweater down. The same one he rose to touch her s.

“I- I can’t sleep with you again!” He tried to ignore her cute nose that he loved so much.

“Why?”

He bit his tongue knowing that that lie would break her heart “Because I don’t want to lie to you. It was only to me. It’s only !” He tried to ignore the way her eyes became humid quickly.

And before she could cry and make his heart weaver he walked away as quickly as he could. He only stopped outside; close enough to keep an eye on her but away enough for her not to see him.

He watched her covering her face to hide her tears. He watched her pull a tissue from her bag to clean them. He watched her walk slowly, almost defeated, back home. He heard her listen to sad romantic songs the whole afternoon. He heard her cry at night until she fell asleep.

And for the first time in his life he wanted to kill Taemin. 

- 3 Years ago before Jinki recovered - 

Minho moved his hips against the woman under him in strong rhythmic moves, grabbing the head of the bed to do it more intensely like he knew that she liked. No one could acuse him of being a selfish lover. He liked to give pleasure as much as he liked to receive it.

His hit him and he ride it, still moving inside her, making her come with a scream before he pulled away from her breathing heavily.

He stood there by her side until he felt like he had enough energy to get up. The woman with short black hair and dark blue highlights smiled seeing him stand up, taking the from his and walking to the bathroom to clean up.

She knew she was only a partner to him and she didn’t mind. He was the same for her, a very good partner. She grabbed her bag pulling a cigarette from inside it, lighting it before he came back into the room.

“No….” He hated it and she knew but she didn’t mind that he complained about it. It’s not like they were dating and she was afraid of him ditching her. They needed each other outside a bed too.

“You are really good in bed! Sometimes I wonder if she taught you!”

He sent her a hateful look and she chuckled.

“Calm down Minho. I know how Nana is off limits!”

“Ilana, you know why I am here!”

Ilana sat on the bed , knowing that now that they had they needed to take care of business.

“I risked my ing neck for this so I hope that I get something big in exchange!”

“Isn’t my big enough for you?” He asked with a smile and she puffed.

“You are good but not that good!” She grabbed a small glass bottle with a transparent liquid and gave it to him. “It cures the poison your friend has on his blood. You do realize that they will cut my neck if they find out?!”

“I know. I’m sorry and thank you!”

She grabbed his arm raising her eyes to him, desperation on them, the cigarette between her lips –“You told me you would take me away from them. You would help me!”

“I know. I’ll keep my promise but I still need you inside Dokko. You know that!”

“All because of that woman. She must be really special to you!”

Minho frowned. Nana was special to him, so special that he joined SHINee with the solo meaning to find her. Yet, now he was really into what he was doing inside the team. He liked his team mates and helping others as a secret agent wasn’t much different from the voluntary work he did.

Still he needed to find Nana. It was the only thing that kept him alive during his dark times.

“I need to see her. I have so much I want to tell her.”

Ilana chuckled softly hitting her cigarette on the side of the ashtray on the bedside table. He could see the tattoo she had on her right arm. It was a rose and he knew that that tattoo was the mark The Rose, a group she used to belong to often had.  

The Rose was not much different from The Union. Ilandra wasn’t much different from Nana. However The Rose was a simple ion traffic network and The Union was connected to crime.

“I will always be thankful for you and your team for what you did dismantling The Rose but….” He felt guilty too. He saved women like her from that awful organization with SHINee and now she was inside an even bigger problem helping him.

“I know and I’m forever thankful for what you are doing for me. Once I find Nana I’ll take you to SM!” he promised. He would give her a normal life.

They would find her a new identity and Ilandra would spend her days away from all that, being a normal person.

He didn’t know how he would ask that to the company though. If they knew that he put someone in danger inside Dokko, that he was exchanging information with her, he would be in deep trouble. 

- 2 Years ago - 

“What are we even doing here?” Areum asked once they entered the library of the shopping mall.

She wasn’t into shopping malls and ever since Audrey wasn’t in her life anymore she rarely entered them. Audrey was the one who often pulled her into one.

Jinki didn’t seem to like shopping malls that much either so it was very rare to go shopping together, however he showed up at her place in a  Saturday afternoon after two weeks away in a work trip saying he needed to take her somewhere. It was her birthday so she was hoping that he prepared something special for her.

She wasn’t even sure if he remembered what day it was but she was sure once he grabbed a book from a shelf and gave it to her.

It was Kim Jonghyun’s last book that she had already. It was sweet of Jinki but so not romantic and very predictable.

“I have it…already!” She said rising her eyes to her boyfriend “I was in line for 4 hours to get it and ask him to sign it for me. Sadly he left before my turn.”

“I know.”

She widened her eyes confused with his answer and Jinki corrected himself “No. I mean I don’t know. I mean…I imagined that that would happen!”

He sighed of relief knowing that he escaped that for an inch. He knew everything she did when he was away. He always left her guarded by several agents if not another SHINee member.

“Yet accept it. You will need it!”

“Seriously Jinki! If you want to give me a birthday present ,next time at least choose something I don’t have already!”

He grinned pinching her cheek. “You don’t have this! Trust me! Grab the book and follow me!”

She did as he said and followed him to the back of the library where two security officers were in front of a door.

“Weird!” She whispered “Someone famous must be inside!”

“Kim Jonghyun is!”

She looked at Jinki “What why? How?”

He grabbed her hand and lowered his voice. “He has an interview here today. My….brother in law told me!” He wasn’t exactly lying to her, just omitting who was her brother in law.

“Really?”

“Yes and he knows him and asked him to do me a favor.”

“OH MY GOD!” Areum screamed not able to keep her fangirl side hidden. Jinki chuckled and pulled her to the door.

The security office let them pass and Areum froze once she saw Kim Jonghyun wearing a beautiful grey suit in front of her, his almost white hair perfectly combed.

He was even more shining outside a picture and she couldn’t help but release a soft cry.

He stood up immediately once he saw them and a woman that was probably interviewing him turned off the mic and announced a small break. The cameraman and the several staff moved to a corner of the room speaking in a low voice and Jinki winked an eye at Jonghyun from behind her. She didn’t even notice how Jonghyun smiled at his friend. She was too busy trying to make her legs move, the book forgotten on her hand.

“You are real!” She mumbled making Jonghyun laugh.

“Yes. I think I am. I hope I am! It would be weird if I found out that this is like Matrix or I am dreaming or something…”

“Yes….” She  answered with a dreamy voice making Jinki sigh. They were both nerds and he loved her fangirl side but it annoyed him a little that her object of affections was someone he knew well.

Jinki grabbed the book from her hand and gave it to Jonghyun wanting that meeting to end soon, now that she was drooling over another man.

“Sign it please!” He said it in a not so gentle voice, so unlike him but Areum didn’t even notice. Jonghyun never lost his smile even though he could feel Jinki annoyance, grabbing the book from Jinki’s hand and opening it to sign it.

“What is your name?”

“A-Areum!”

Jinki crossed his arms thinking that he should thank Jonghyun after, for doing that for him, for being a good actor, pretending not to know her and him.

“Oh it fits you….Beautiful!”

Areum released another soft cry curling her hands into fists and placing them under her chin in a very cute way. Jinki sent Jonghyun an annoyed look but he pretended not to notice. It was fun to see Jinki jealous.

“I-I’m actually a writer!” Areum said recovering her ability to speak “I mean I’m still lacking but I hope someday you will read my book!”

“Oh I read it already!”

“REALLY?” Her shocked expression was priceless. She turned her head to look at Jinki with a delighted expression and he smiled at her knowing that he was the one who gave the book to Jonghyun for him to read.

“Yes. I liked it. You should keep writing!” Jonghyun said his lips “I liked how you portrayed their scene at the hill. It was very beautiful and yet sad.”

Areum wasn’t sure what to say, still on cloud nine. “I can’t believe Kim Jonghyun read my book!”

He chuckled giving his book back to her. She read what he wrote quickly.

To my most precious fan,  Areum.

 Always keep writing, Always keep dreaming, Always keep loving.

Kim Jonghyun

“Thank you!” She said with teary eyes “I won’t!”

“Your boyfriend looks like a keeper. He settled all of this for you. Happy Birthday!” Jonghyun added and Areum turned to face Jinki.

“Yes he is!”

She seemed so happy that Jinki forgot all about his jealousy holding her hand again.

“Well then I need to finish my interview!” Jonghyun announced and Areum bowed several times mumbling thank you’s and I love you’s while Jinki pulled her outside.

They left the library and she immediately threw herself into his arms, hugging him so strongly that he felt as if he was a soft toy being hugged by a little girl.

“THANKYOUSOMUCHYOUARETHEBESTBOYFRIENDINTHEOWRLDANDIMSOGOINGTOCOMPENSATEYOUFORTHIS!”

He hugged her back closing his eyes knowing that he did the right thing taking her there. Luckily she was so happy that she didn’t even ask much about his brother in law or his family. Areum was trusting like that and even though it was a blessing for him that was terrible for her safety.

“So you liked it?” jinki asked pushing her away from him.

She held the book against her chest “I loved it! He is so dreamy!”

“Ok I get it!”

“Are you jealous?” she asked poking his chest “It’s the first time I see him. You do realize that I’ll probably never see him again. I mean he is unreachable. It’s not like I’ll go home and meet him sitting on my couch!” She laughed with her joke and Jinki frowned. He often met him sitting at his couch back at his family’s place.

“Jinki, I love you. He is just my idol!” she said with a serious expression “but he is so damn talented!”

Jinki caressed her cheek and kissed her nose “Ok then! I’m glad you liked my present but now let’s go home!”

“Already? I thought we would have dinner here!”

He pulled her arm, hooking it on his and they walked in the direction of the exit. “You said you would compensate me!”

She blushed knowing what he was thinking “I meant a kiss. I can kiss you here!”

“I don’t think you mentioned only a kiss. Besides I want you all to myself now.”

“That would be difficult when Kim Jonghyun doesn’t leave my mind!” She said in a teasing tone making Jinki raise his eyebrows.

“I’ll make you forget him. Give me one minute and I can do it!”

“Can’t wait!” Areum said rubbing her head against his shoulder in a very kitty like way. She knew he could do it. In one minute she would be crawling at his feet begging for him to not stop touching her.

Yes, it was definitely worth it, asking that favor to Jonghyun.

- 3 Years ago, when everything went wrong - 

The sound of her sneakers hitting the sidewalk under her, and her heavy breathing was everything Audrey could hear. Sometimes she wondered if SHINee team was even human. Minho ran in front of her and he did it so effortless as if he weighted nothing.

They passed several houses in ruins until they entered the forest. She tried to remember what she saw on the map but she was so nervous and the rush of adrenaline wasn’t helping her.

Audrey couldn’t hear Kibum running after her so she turned her head slowing her pace and making him scream at her.

“Hey don’t stop running!”

She did as he told him turning to the front and almost bumping into Minho.

“Maybe I should get back and delay them!” Minho said checking his gun for bullets. He had none. “Key?”

Kibum shock his head “I used them all on the three agents that came out from the van.”

Audrey knew that that wasn’t good. They had no gun and they were alone. Nothing was going accordingly to the plan. It wasn’t supposed to be so many Dokko agents.

“This was a bad idea!” Kibum mumbled.

“What are you talking about? The fact that they are here is good. This is what we wanted!” Minho remarked.

“Yes but we aren’t supposed to get killed!”

“We won’t. Ace and Onew won’t let that happen!” Audrey’s eyes widened when she saw Minho take off a huge Katana from his back. She never saw one outside movies and she marveled at how the blade shined under the moon.

“No bullets so we need to get back to the old stuff!”

“You know how to use that?” Audrey asked pointing at the katana receiving an are-you- seriously- asking-that  look from him.

“We learned how to fight with several weapons.” Kibum answered for Minho. “We should go then!”

Key pushed Audrey forward and they started to run “Don’t look back!” He said.

However Audrey still looked back and she could see one of the Dokko agents coming after them. However Minho swung his katana as if it was a butter knife and slashed him in his chest, blood splashing. She almost tripped, feeling the scarce dinner she had revolving on her stomach.

“!” Key mumbled “I told you not to look!”

She managed to not throw up and both stumbled inside an old house that still had the roof intact but was clearly abandoned for years.

It was perfect and Key closed the door after they entered.

“We were almost shot!” Audrey said trembling even though it wasn’t cold “Minho is alone with man with guns!” They could still hear the gunshots once in a while.

“I told you Onew has a snipper riffle and is over a roof watching us and Taemin is out there. He is quick and silent. Minho will be fine!”

She wasn’t that convinced but there was nothing she could do after all. Her eyes moved to the old wood walls of the small cabin. It felt familiar but not in a good way.

“I was here before!” She told Key that was busy peeking outside from the small window.

They still had to stick to the plan and she was nervous about it.

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Key said looking at her, noticing in her body expression how she was extremely edgy.

“Don’t be nervous! Everything will be alright!”

“Will it? What if something goes wrong? What if I die?”

Death scared her. Audrey’s will to live was still very strong inside her. Now more than ever! She had Aeon to finish, she wanted to see Areum again and Kibum…

“You won’t!” He said stepping closer to her, wearing his black leather outfit that looked marvelous with his blonde hair. He was so handsome, with his perfect lips and cleaver eyes and sometimes she wondered how it felt to touch him, to caress his face, to trace his lips. She didn’t have the guts to do it but she really wanted to. “I won’t let you die!” He said with a deep voice making her shiver again.

With that he walked back to the door and opened it slightly. She followed him but he pushed her back gently.

“No. You stay here. You know you have to stay. We talked about this yesterday. It’s the best way!”

“I know…but…” She didn’t want to be alone. She spent half her life alone until she met Areum and then SHINee. She didn’t want to stay alone inside another decrepit house, in darkness.

“Trust us!” He said earnestly “Trust me. We spend years doing this kind of thing!”

“Years?” She mumbled hearing another gunshot. “I barely know anything about you…” It left even before she realized it. He titled his head as if he was thinking about her words, his eyes watching hers intensely. For a few seconds she thought that he would give one of his wise remarks scolding her or even roll his eyes, but he didn’t.

“I must be mad. I barely know you and still I trust you. I don’t even know if Kibum is your real name!” She added making him smile softly. It was quick but she didn’t miss it.

“My name is Kim Kibum. I’m from Daegu. My parents are still alive and I dream to visit every country in the world at least once.”

Audrey didn’t react still surprised that he was revealing a little bit of him to her.

Shooting restarted outside but she couldn’t hear it anymore because Kibum was opening up to her and he even smiled at her. It wasn’t the beaming blinding smile he gave her before but she liked it nonetheless.

“I never left Korea.” One of her foster families once traveled to France but never took her with them even though her name was clearly very French. Maybe her mother was French, or maybe Audrey was born there. She didn’t know.

“Well maybe someday we can go on a trip together and for that to happen you need to stay alive.”

She smiled knowing what he was trying to do. He was giving her another reason to fight, to be brave.

“You too!” She did what she always dreamed before; she wrapped her fingers gently around his wrist that was uncovered, sliding her fingers over his veins. “Stay safe!” She said with all her heart behaving like one of the characters from Areum’s novels, the same ones she despised.

He turned around to leave and she released him but he didn’t move. Kibum looked at her again as if he was hesitating about something, as if he was fighting a battle inside him as if her fingers leaving his skin made something inside him move.

Without any notice he turned around and kissed her. It was quick and Audrey barely had time to answer back. She did though almost falling forward, her lips following his when he moved back. His expression when she opened her eyes was like hers. He was startled not sure why he did it.

“Stay safe! Follow the plan!”” He said with a husky voice making her heart skip a beat, before he closed the door after him.

She leaned against the wall when he left, hugging herself, touching her chest feeling her heartbeat.

Yes she was nervous, yes people were screaming outside and shots could be heard once in a while. The world was falling apart around her and she could die and still…Kim Kibum kissed her.

- Present Day - 

“Welcome home!” Mi-Jung said trying to act natural when she felt really nervous to meet her brother’s wife.

Areum blinked her eyes not even hearing her, her eyes stuck on the person by her side.

“This is my sister!” Jinki said to Areum “Mi-Jung!”

“Oh Hi…I….Is he…really there?” Areum asked pointing at Jonghyun with wide open. He couldn’t! She was probably imagining him.

“He is. He is my brother in law. He married my sister!”

“OH !” Areum said turning around embarrassed covering her face because she just said a bad word in front of her favorite writer.  The same one she only saw once, thanks to Jinki asking his….wait! She rose her eyes to Jinki feeling betrayed with another lie and he gulped knowing exactly what she was thinking.

“Well come inside!” Mi –Jung said sweetly, moving an arm around Areum that was looking at Jinki disappointed. He knew she loved Jonghyun. He knew and still he never told her he knew him, that he was his family.

“You must be tired!” Mi-Jung said acting has the host since Jonghyun preferred not to say anything, clearly also uncomfortable with that situation.

“My dad is waiting or us at the inner garden!”

Areum didn’t know what the hell was an inner garden but she quickly find out when they stepped inside a room that looked like a greenhouse where a man with a red sweater was siting drinking tea.

“Aaaaaah Areum-shi!” He said as if he was used to see her there, standing up to greet her politely “I’m Jinki’s  father, Lee Sooman!”

She knew him. She saw him at her wedding but she didn’t know they were that rich, that her Jinki was the son of a millionaire. That explained a lot.

“Thank you for receiving me!”

“Oh, we are family now. No need for formalities!”

She sat next to the older man and Jinki sat by her side. Areum felt uncomfortable. Taemin, Key and Minho disappeared and it was only her and Jinki’s family now. Jonghyun included. She couldn’t stop staring at him, wondering if that was real or she was dreaming it.

“You must be tired and dying to ask me a lot of questions.” Sooman said.

Areum didn’t know what questions she had to ask him. All her questions were more directed at Jinki than him.

“Did Jinki tell you about SHINee?”

“A little.”

“Well here you will learn more about what we do.”

“The fifth member…” she turned to face Jinki “Is he….”

“It’s me. Actually I’m the third!” Jonghyun informed Areum.

She was lost wondering how it was possible for a writer, well known activist, sometimes singer and musician to be able to be a secret agent at the same time, but it was probably impolite to ask it.

“SHINee was a team made to fight Dokko. You know them right?” Lee Sooman asked.

“Yes. They are the ones who tried to kidnap me and also the ones who killed Audrey my friend.”

Sooman didn’t answer; instead he offered her a cup of tea that she politely refuse.

“I want to shower please and maybe sleep a little?” Areum asked her father in law. It felt so unreal.

“Sure. I prepared a room for you!” Mi-Jung said. “Jinki,” she spoke to her brother “The blue one in the second floor!” She once again looked at Areum “It has a beautiful balcony with a view for the lake. Jinki said you like lakes.”

Areum wasn’t sure about what Jinki told about her to his family but she was sure he barely talked about them to her. It didn’t seem to hurt her before but now it did. It was as if she didn’t know him. Yes she could elaborate a list with all his favorite dishes, all the birth marks of his body, recite what his favorite hobbies were, describe what made him go crazy in bed but still she didn’t know him. There was a huge blank when it came to her knowledge about his past, his family, about what made him who he is now.

Jinki guided her around the house until they reached her bedroom that apparently was his too, since it had a double bed and looked like a newlywed bedroom.

Areum opened her bag immediately and stared at it as if everything inside it belonged to a stranger. She felt like one.

“I’m sorry about Jonghyun. I couldn’t…”

“…tell you…” she mimicked him making an upset face.

“Areum…”

She sat on the bed and looked sadly at him “I don’t know what is real anymore. You lied about everything Jinki. About the reason you were in Audrey’s apartment, about who you are, what you do, your family…what do you want me to believe?”

He sat by her side and grabbed her hand placing it on his chest over his heart “Believe this, what we feel. I told you didn’t I? Never forget what I told you on our first wedding night. I love you!”

She leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes “I’m so confused right now! I want to know you like you know me!”

“I know. Ask me whatever you want to know and I’ll explain you everything! No more secrets!”

“Tell me about….SHINee…about how you end up here! Tell me about you. All about you! I want to know everything about Onew and Jinki!”

“Ok…where should I start?”

“Start at….start at your nightmare.”

He flinched as if only the bare memory of it was painful.

She raised her head so she could look at him and Jinki smiled softly. “My parents died to protect me Areum. They were also secret agents and that night they were running away because their cover was exposed, because I was exposed.”

She kissed his cheek before leaning her head on his shoulder again while he told her about the accident, what he barely remembered about it, about his first days at the mansion, about growing up with Mi-Jung, about his relationship with his adoptive father, about  how much he loved Taemin like a real brother. He spoke so much that soon the light coming from outside wasn’t enough to illuminate their faces. It didn’t matter, her hands caressing his, her warmth by his side was enough to make him keep going, to tell her about SHINee and Dokko and about the kind of work they did there, the kind of work they made him do, the years of practicing, how he cried the first time he killed…

She didn’t ask about Audrey and that mission and he was thankful for that. Actually she didn’t ask anything and only waited until he told her everything about him, about who he was. When he finished, with his mouth dry, darkness filled the room. Areum moved on top of him, to his lap, hugging Jinki, her lips finding his that he gladly accepted.

She caressed his face, nuzzling her nose against his “I don’t mind that you are not the prince I’ve always imagined, that you spent half your life learning how to kill, thinking about revenge,  I don’t even mind that you killed before and that makes me so confused because…I should…”

He cupped her face “I don’t like killing Areum I…”

“I know. You protect people like me. You told me before. People worth being protected!” She caressed his hands “You are no prince. You have flaws and a dark side but you try your best every day to make other people’s life better. You are a hero!” She chuckled “Damn you are my super man!”

“I’m not an alien!” He said with a smile and she kissed him again.

“You are my man!” she whispered against him, both falling over the bed in a tight hug , the kiss not ending, hands impatiently  moving on each other’s clothes eager to take them off.

He easily helped her get and then they moved to him, both fighting with the clothes until they were over each other, being able to let their bodies rub on each other. They did so with Areum sitting over him again, wrapping her legs around him, lips joining desperately until they feel back into the bed again.

She kissed his neck and every inch of his skin making him sigh of relief.  He thought she would never touch him again, he thought he would never be able to tell her about who he was but now, now he felt free. She knew him now and she accepted him. It was so liberating and he loved her so much more that he felt like bursting.

She kissed his chin and upwards, her lips hovering over his, her hands moving between his legs caressing him. Their gazes locked and he moaned closing his eyes, concentrating on the pleasure her actions were giving him. After what happened to her, about how she was almost he was afraid that she wouldn’t let him touch her for a while and yet, yet she was there loving him. They didn’t even talk about the matter, but that wasn’t probably the best moment either.

She giggled when he kissed her neck and tried to roll with her so he could be on top. Yet she stubbornly stood her ground, straddling him, rubbing her needy core against him whispering words of need and love.

He smiled when she placed his at her entrance making him enter her fully.

She moved erratically, controlling the speed making him grasp her thighs while she controlled the pleasure of both.

He watched her, how she closed her eyes in abandonment just to open them again to smile at him, telling him how much she loved him. He couldn’t speak, he could only watch her, feeling her fingers caress his chest in a possessive and yet loving way. He was hers. All of him and she knew.

Areum was eager to love him now that she knew him – moving her hips more and more against him – eager to love that new Jinki that hid for so long.

And he was eager for her too – Caressing her stomach and up to her s every time she moved, marveling at how beautiful and perfect she was – now he could finally love her as a complete man, as himself.

Her moans started to fill the room when she was reaching her peak and now that she was completely lost in pleasure he was able to roll with her easily. She complained a little but he kissed it away, ing deeper into her, making her come tightening around him, her pushing him off the edge into his own .

They moved slowly together until the rush of adrenaline left their veins, staying on each other’s arms in a tight embrace, as husband and wife, finally consummating their wedding even though it wasn’t their first time together.

She wasn’t sure what to say so she only kissed his chest and snuggled against him. He kissed her forehead and caressed her face making her smile, her dimples making fireworks explode inside him. He would never get tired of admiring her, of making love with her, of kissing her.

“I love you!” He whispered against her cheek, kissing her again and again and Areum let herself finally breathe of relief as if nothing of what happened on the last hours existed, as if their honeymoon only started now. 

- Several Years ago, when Minho's life changed - 

There are moments in your life when you know that mothing will never be the same again. That a part of you died and a new one that was always hidden waiting to come out arrived to stay.

Minho knew even before he entered that motel room that his life would never be the same. He only didn’t know how much it would change him.

Somewhere deep inside him he still hoped that Nana wasn’t lying to him, that everything was only a mistake that he would find the room empty.

He didn’t find weird how the room was unlocked, how he easily stepped inside it. It didn’t matter.

His life ended that day.

He couldn’t hear anything, only his blood pulsating inside his ears when he saw Nana only wearing her underwear sitting beside a man. He didn’t even want to know who he was or why she was having with him. He saw red and he wanted to kill the man. It was ridiculous to the Minho of the present day how in that moment he hated that man more than her when she was the one who betrayed him.

He walked in quick strides in the direction of the bed unarmed, not even thinking about how that could go wrong. Nana screamed suddenly realizing that he was in the room not believing her eyes when he punched the man in the bed.

The man didn’t even complain with the pain standing up only wearing his pants and punching Minho back.

What happened next was a blur to Minho. He was punched, kicked to the point that he stood on the floor without moving. He never once fought anyone. That was his first punch, the first time he felt like he needed to protect someone. Probably his pride since Nana was there by her own will.

The pain stopped after a while and Minho let himself breathe out coughing blood. He couldn’t open his eyes because the pain was immense but he could hear Nana faintly in the background crying.

She kneeled by his side and touched his bloody face tenderly whispering at his ear. ”I’m sorry. I hope you understand someday why I did this!” She dared to kiss his temple before she left him alone inside a room waiting for death, choking on his own blood, barely breathing.

He thought he would die. For a brief moment he wished to die. That’s how pathetic he felt, how weak Nana made him. But someone opened the door of the room, someone kneeled by his side.

It wasn’t Nana. She didn’t have a change of heart. It was a man that pulled him up making Minho cry of pain like he never did before, tears falling down his eyes as if every bone inside him was broken.

He opened his eyes and faintly saw Lee Jinki look back at him, a sad expression on his eyes. It wasn’t pity and Minho was thankful to him for that it was….sorrow, understanding.

“It’s me, Jonghyun’s friend. Remember me? I’ll take you home. I’ll take care of you!”

Jinki’s gentle voice made him sigh not of relief though. Somehow Minho didn’t mind dying that much now. His family ignored him, life didn’t seem to sparkle his interest anymore and Nana…the only person he loved just betrayed him.

In that moment Minho wasn’t sure if Jinki was an angel or a demon.

He couldn’t deny it though; Jinki saved him and made it possible for a new Minho to be born.

- Present Day - 

If Taemin’s life had a soundtrack it was probably an album of Yiruma, the pianist.

Thanks to Jinki he learned to play several of his pieces and went to his concerts several times.

Taemin always liked Michael Jackson and rock songs so he was a little surprised when he found himself attracted to the sound of the piano.

He studied it diligently and now he was proud that he played it as Jinki or even better than him.

He lied on his bed listening to River flows in you with his eyes closed, earphones on his ears, letting the world disappear outside. It was only him and his music.

Something felt wrong though and he opened his eyes noticing how his phone vibrated over his bed table. He picked it up, Mina's name showing up as the caller.

He shouldn’t pick it up. Taemin barely picked up her calls and yet she always kept pestering him, insisting. She was annoying and yet he took off his earphone and accepted the call.

“Do you know what is playing right now?” She said immediately not even greeting him, not even waiting for him to say anything. Mina was like that. She knew he didn’t like to speak, and somehow words between them were scarce and not needed.

He didn’t answer like always and he could almost see her smile on the other side.

“River flows in you!”

He widened his eyes because she didn’t know about his talent for the piano, about Yiruma being his favorite pianist; she didn’t even once mention him before or his favorite song.

“What?” he asked in a low voice.

“You know? The one from Yiruma.” She hummed a bit of it and Taemin closed his eyes wondering how a girl like her knew a song like that. Well she probably would think the same about him if she knew.

“Do you know why is it  playing?”

“Why?”

“Because it fits you. Because I miss you. Because its your song….”

Her words made sense to him.

“Why is it my song?”

He realized that that was the first time they spoke with each other on the phone for more than thirty seconds and the first one he was actually answering to her.

“Because you are like that you know? There is a huge energy inside you wanting to come out and I want to hold it….I want to give my heart to you so that you can also see what I see when I look at you.”

Taemin closed his eyes. He felt so tired suddenly. He knew that Mina liked him, that she seemed to have a crush on him but even though he didn’t reciprocate her feelings it didn’t annoy him like the other girls liking him did.

“I’m not good for you Mina.”

His comment made her speechless. That was the first time he was actually answering to her after she mentioned her feelings.

“I won’t date anyone and even if I did you would be the last person I would date.”

She laughed. It was a cute short chuckle but enough to make him turn his head so he could watch the night sky outside his window.

“I see….because you don’t want to hurt me.”

He thought about her words. Why didn’t he want to date her?  She wasn’t the most beautiful girl in college but she had her own charm. She was weird and said random things all the time. She was pushy, complained a lot, and always followed him around and yet…yet she was the only person that he didn’t mind having around him. Maybe he really didn’t want to hurt her.

“Maybe.”

He was being sincere with her. But even if that wasn’t true, he wouldn’t date anyone and that was final. His life had another meaning, another purpose.

“I will never give up!” She said on the other side “Because I knew it ever since the first time I saw you.  When you fell in front of me looking like a ninja, rain dripping from your black hair, I could hear Caught in the Rain from Revis playing in my head and I knew our lives were connected!”

He didn’t even know that song.

“This is not a movie. This is real life!” Taemin said tiredly siting up on the bed knowing that he would hardly sleep that night.

“Exactly. That’s why I won’t give up. I only have one shot at this life and my gun is pointed at you!”

She giggled with her joke and Taemin placed his bare feet on the floor. Guns were no joke.

“Sleep well!” She said not waiting for him to answer but he did none the less, so unlike him.

“Good night!”

He threw the phone over his bed and grabbed his pajama from over the bed dressing it over his underwear so he could walk outside.

He wanted to play the piano now. Let that stagnated energy inside him flow out of his body.

But before, he grabbed his phone again searching youtube for the song Mina mentioned.

Areum’s feet moved against Jinki’s, the soft skin of her legs rubbed against his hairy ones and she lazily moved her fingers over his chest and down to his stomach tracing the scar that she once believed that he made when he took off his appendix. It was probably a lie and that was an old wound instead. She didn’t care anymore. It wasn’t important. She took her time tracing every inch of him, moving her fingers over the small imperfections that made him who he was, that made him perfect in her eyes.

She kissed his shoulder and he smiled turning his head to face her, his eyes opening slightly. He was sleepy and she couldn’t blame him. He barely slept and once he closed his eyes inside the car on their way there he had a nightmare. After they made love he melted completely in her arms and soon she saw him fall asleep. She didn’t mind, she actually loved it and she used that moment of tenderness to caress him, to admire his body.

“I’m sorry I woke you up!” She whispered nuzzling her head against his shoulder

He grinned satisfied moving an arm around her, pulling her closer to him as if it was possible.

“It’s ok…” He caressed the back of her neck with his fingers, tracing her spine before he pulled her closer to his face so he could kiss her lips and look at her properly.

“I’m sorry for the honeymoon..”

She wrinkled her nose cutely “It’s ok. You apologized to me before!”

“I know but…I’m sorry. I know how you were looking forward to it and also sorry….for what happened after you left the police department.”

She frowned remembering how she almost did a on that disgusting man.

“I don’t want to think about it!”

“I know…It won’t happen again! I won’t let it happen again!”

“It’s ok really!” She kissed his chest remembering how he killed the man and how scared she was. She didn’t want to think about it. “I had everything under control until you saved me!”

She chuckled but he didn’t smile “Its serious Areum. This is not a joke…do you have an idea of what could have happened to you?”

She did. She could still hear the voice of that man inside her head saying all those disgusting things he wanted to do to her. She wasn’t innocent. She knew that if Jinki and Minho didn’t arrive she was probably and dead by now.

“Just for tonight let’s not talk about it and enjoy our honeymoon, because it’s still our honeymoon, right?”

He smiled caressing her cheek, caressing the place where her dimples always showed up making him go crazy in love for her.

“Yes. Let’s enjoy it. What do you want to do?”

“Sleep. Make love. Eat delicious food!”

He grinned kissing her again. “Maybe tomorrow we can have a picnic outside!”

“I would love that so much!”

He nodded and she sat up on the bed stretching her arms. “Going to the bathroom!”

Jinki watched her from the bed, how she walked slowly to the bathroom still not believing that they had one bathroom inside their bedroom. So fancy!

She turned the light on and spun around slightly so the outline of her body was illuminated for him. He watched her with a silly grin, his eyes moving up and down her body and Areum knew she made it. He desired her again. Yet she still bit her lip seductively  to be sure, making him groan.

“Just come back quickly!”

Areum giggled entering the bathroom and closing the door. It wasn’t as if she had anything to hide from him but she still felt like she needed a moment alone.

She sat on the toilet and stayed there looking at herself in the mirror.

She had a hickey that Jinki gave her, a little above her collarbone but besides that everything else was the same. No marks like the ones he had  in his body and yet she wasn’t the same person.

She didn’t kill for the first time like he did but she certainly wasn’t the innocent woman she was before either.

Areum cleaned herself and washed her face admiring the cute small bottles that probably Mi-Jung placed for her over the sink. She opened one that seemed like a very expensive perfume smelling it. It was amazing and Areum poured it on her wrists and neck wondering if Jinki would notice the difference.

She stared at the bottle for a few seconds and placed it down. Audrey was the one who knew all about beauty products and perfumes. She probably knew that brand.

Knew.

She wasn’t alive anymore and for once in a long time Areum missed her. She had so many things to tell her. About what happened to her after she met Jinki, about Jinki, about the person she was now.

Sadly you can’t turn back time. Sadly no one invented a machine like that.

Audrey said she would someday, but Audrey was a dreamer like her.

Areum turned off the light of the bathroom and walked closer to the bed.

Jinki had his eyes closed; only his nose and eyes were peeking from under the covers and she smiled knowing he was sleeping. He was probably so tired. She thought about joining him but she was hungry since they skipped dinner, lunch and basicaly only drank tea and ate cookies with his father, so instead she grabbed his shirt and her underwear dressing it, hoping that she wouldn’t find anyone while she hunted for food downstairs. Even if she did it would be ok, his shirt was too big for her and was almost a dress on her, a short dress though. The next day she needed to go shopping. Areum needed clothes because she had nothing in her bag besides a pair of , her documents, and a t-shirt saying I love Thailand that she bought on her first day of honeymoon.

Areum closed the bedroom of the room softly and walked barefoot to the end of the corridor.

She heard the piano music and wondered who was playing the piano so late at night. Maybe it was Minho, she wondered. He had long fingers like a pianist should have. She walked down the stairs hoping to find Minho and ask him where the kitchen was, wanting that he wouldn’t notice how much she was.

She knew that song. It was Yiruma River flows in you. She heard it before, a long time ago in Jinki’s phone and she replayed it several times amazed at how beautiful it sounded. He said he recorded it because someone special played it for him. At first, Areum was mad at him because she thought he meant a girl but then he said it was his brother playing it for him instead. She didn’t believe him at the time, thinking he was joking with her but now that she thought about it he was probably telling the truth. That meant that Ace – Taemin – was the one playing. That also meant that Jinki didn’t lie when he told her that he knew how to play that same song too.

She felt silly. She believed so many things that were lies and completely ignored the truth in front of her.

Jinki knew how to play the piano. That was very romantic and Areum smiled fixing the cuffs of his shirt that covered her hands totally.

The song stopped and apparently Taemin started to play something else. She didn’t know that one but still she tried to find her way inside the house. She was getting closer to the music but the kitchen was nowhere to be found.

Areum looked outside admiring the starry night and that’s when she saw the woman dressed in white.

Her hair was curly and falling on her back over what seemed like a white pajama. She was alone in a balcony in the first floor and that room didn’t seem that far from where Areum’s and Jinki’s bedroom was.

Areum stopped and moved closer to the window as if she was under a spell. The music that Taemin was playing was called Moonlight even if Areum didn’t know it and it didn’t stop and gave the moment an even more magical depth.

The woman in white turned around and Areum widened her eyes watching her profile.

“Audrey.”

She mumbled her friend’s name.

 “AUDREY!” She repeated louder saying her name as if it was a prayer. The woman didn’t turn or seem to notice that she was calling her. She appeared to be talking with someone Areum couldn’t see, someone covered in the shadows, someone that made Audrey smile.

“AUDREY!” Now she was sure it was her, she would never mistake that smile.

The music of the piano ended the first time she screamed but Areum didn’t even notice so she was surprised when someone touched her shoulder making her turn around.

Dark eyes looked at her and she stuttered trying to speak with Taemin that was in front of her only wearing a blue pajama.

“AUDREY! She is outside she is alive…” She turned around but no one was at the balcony anymore and the light was turned off. Areum scanned the whole balcony but no sign of the woman wearing white anywhere. No sign of life at all. “She was there I swear!”

Her words came out with a cry and Taemin tilted his head in understanding. He didn’t even raise his eyes to the balcony and that frustrated her. He didn’t believe her.

“She was there I swear!”

“It’s ok…” He said softly as if he wasn’t sure what to tell her.

Areum saw Jinki with worried eyes on the end of the stairs watching them. He seemed apprehensively as if he woke up abruptly and didn’t find her in bed.  Areum run to his arms, bumping against his bare chest.

“I saw Audrey Jinki! I saw her!” She hid against him, crying silently and he hugged her caressing her back, softly whispering to her that it was ok.

“I miss her!” Areum insisted.

“I know!” She wasn’t sure if he was telling her that he believed her or simply that he knew that she missed her friend.

He pulled her chin up cleaning her eyes and ready to scold her because she scared him, disappearing from his side with no notice but he couldn’t. Not after what just happened. She wasn’t in danger anyway – that was the safest place for her to be - , he was just being overprotective, used to keep her under his eyes all the time.

“Why are you down here?”

“I was hungry!”

He smiled gently “Let’s go eat something then!” He wasn’t even mentioning Audrey and that was very upsetting to Areum. She still raised her eyes to the window when Jinki asked if Taemin wanted to join them for a very early breakfast or very late dinner.

Areum wasn’t sure about what she saw. Maybe it was a ghost or her vivid imagination playing tricks on her but she definitely saw Audrey.

She saw her other piece of her and it was still hurting so much that she didn’t notice the worried look Jinki and Taemin exchanged. 

- 3 Years ago, when everything went wrong - 

Audrey couldn’t hear the gunfire anymore and the night was silent.

Still her heart was beating as if drums were being played inside her. She could still feel the touch of Kibum’s lips on hers and she couldn’t stop touching the place they touched her as if she wanted to keep their warmth from leaving. It was such a silly thought and Audrey couldn’t stop recalling the book Areum wrote the one she published and she bought a copy.

There is a scene where the protagonist and the hero are together inside the boat going back home. They know that it would probably be their last time together and they held hands and once he moved away she stayed there in the same position as if she wanted to keep that moment unchanged as if she didn’t want time to go forward, as if she wanted to feel his fingers against hers forever. Audrey felt like that and for once she wished she was near Aeon. That machine was her ruin and yet thanks to it she met Kibum.

What a silly thought…

Audrey needed to focus. She knew what would happen next, and she knew what she needed to do next but she wasn’t expecting what happened at all.

Suddenly a huge exploding sound made her close her eyes and she kneeled on the floor when wood started falling around her, the ceiling coming over her. Nothing hit her but the room was in flames. The heat reached her and Audrey screamed scared, crawling to the trap-door on the other end of the room. She was reckless; she should be closer to it like Kibum told her. It was her escape route if needed. Instead she was still reviving their moment together and day dreaming while they were in the middle of a war.

Audrey reached the trap-door just when she realized that she was there before. She was right. She dreamed with that before.

That’s also when she knew that she would die.

Audrey screamed Kibum’s name, Minho’s, everyone she could remember but no one came so she fought with the lock of the trap-door wondering why it wasn’t opening. More wood fell from the ceiling and she barely could open her eyes with the smoke. It was becoming harder to breathe too and Audrey lied down on the floor since there would be more oxygen there.

“Please…anyone!” She screamed in a last effort “I CAN’T OPEN IT!”

Her fingers wrapped around the metal lock and she pulled with no avail.

Something went wrong. She wasn’t supposed to die like that but she was really going to die.

Audrey closed her eyes and tried to think about all the good people she met during her short life, the ones who made everything better, worthwhile.

She thought about her parents she didn’t remember about, about the gentle lady at the adoption center, about the nice owner of the pc bang Areum’s used to work at, all the SHINee team that seemed to want to protect her, Jonghyun and his gentle smile, Kibum and the way he looked at her so intensely before kissing her…and Areum just being  her Areum.

That’s when she lost consciousness.

Hiiiii...

First sorry for the 21312132 mistakes that this probably have.

Second I hope the didn't made you run away.

Third I hope the lack of action didn't make you run away too.

ahahaha

Anyway not many surprises here...

I know you will probably comment about how evil I am killing poor Audrey just after she got her first kiss with Key but oh well...I'm a ! XD

As you can see I mention several songs through out this chapter.

If you want to hear them here is the list:

Caught in the Rain from Revis

Yiruma, (이루마) - River Flows in You

Yiruma - Moonlight

Please let me know what you think, Comment, subscribe and upvote.

Thank you for reading

Next chapter will be exciting and will answer several questions that you probably have by now...

(Well I hope...)

chu ~

Ps: You all thought it was Audrey at the door didn't you? ahahahaha Gotcha!

Ps2: Lost in Love is actualy another fic of mine.ahahah I thought it would be funny to connect this fic with it somehow! ;)

Might do things like this with another fics too. It's fun!