Secret Agents Dictionary:

Eyes Only: Documents that are intended for the eyes of one specified person only

- Months ago - 

Areum opened all her notebooks and moved her eyes on them searching for one idea that would inspire her to write again.

They were all awful, common, without anything original and she closed two of them throwing the notebooks to the floor.

It’s been years since she published her first book and months since she wrote something. It all revealed to be mediocre, not good enough to be published and Areum was frustrated.

Soon her editor would give up on her. They were pressuring her already, demanding a new book, something that would be at least as good as the first one.

Yes she had success with her first book but she was no Kim Jonghyun! She needed something new!

Areum walked around her small study where she tried to write everyday where was once before her apartment guest bedroom.

However she couldn’t write, she couldn’t sleep, she couldn’t think. She was extremely angry with herself and everything.

“AAAAH” She screamed grabbing all her notebooks and throwing them to the floor.

Her career was going nowhere. Her dream died with Audrey. She was useless now and yes she was throwing a tantrum. She grabbed one of her notebooks from the floor and started ripping the pages where she wrote a bunch of stupid ideas that lead her nowhere.

They were little bits of things she saw on tv or read on books, situations she lived with Jinki or other random stories she heard from people she knew. All useless!

“What are you doing?” Jinki asked from the door watching her rip the pages of one of her notebooks. He just arrived from the gym and was still wearing his gym black t-shirt and black pants. He didn’t shower at the gym normally since Areum’s house where he was staying most of the time was close.

“I AM A FAILURE!” Areum screamed like a little kid in despair, having a hard time ripping the sheets of the notebook. “I will never write a new book. I’m terrible! THIS WAS ALL A MISTAKE!”

“Stop!” Jinki said watching her with a serious expression but she didn’t, continuing to rip the pages and throwing them to the floor still mumbling how bad she was at it how she had no future as a writer, stepping on the poor notebook as if it was all his fault that she untalented.

Since she wasn’t calming down he walked to her and grabbed her by her shoulders turning her to face him. “I told you to stop!”

“I’M GOING TO BURN ALL THIS NOTEBBOKS!” Areum screamed with tears of anger that turned into pain when Jinki placed his fingers on her forehead and ttakbam her.

She widened her eyes mumbling an ouch and looked at him with pain.

He used to do that as a joke on several objects, sometimes even on Areum’s friends boyfriends when they went out on double dates and played games. It hurt like hell and he never dared to do it on a woman before, let alone on her.

Although he didn’t use all his strength, that worked the charm and Areum stopped moving. Instead she pouted like a little kid that was caught misbehaving.

 “I’m sorry!” He said kissing her hurt forehead “But you were saying too much nonsense and I needed to make you stop!”

“That hurt!”

“It hurts me too when you say things like that about yourself, about your talent. Stop overreacting! Stop being a kid throwing a tantrum!”

“I’m sorry. I’m just worried. I might lose the contract with my editor and…”

Jinki pulled her into his embrace “You won’t. Give it time and you will write something! Overthinking it won’t help you write anything! You are always like that! You let your emotions get the best of you! Calm down and think before acting!””

She hugged him back even though he was sweaty.

“That story you started writing before. The one about second chances, give it a second chance too. Pick it up and write it. Everything needs a second chance!”

Areum raised her eyes to Jinki and caressed his face.

He was so effortless handsome to her. He didn’t need to do anything to be the most attractive to her. Actually she preferred him , laying in her bed every morning, with ruffled messy hair, and a sleepy smile. Just him with no layers!

“You are lovely, you know?”

There was something about him that always made her heart beat faster ever since the first time they met. He wasn’t even her ideal type but she didn’t care about that anymore. He was just Lee Jinki and all that he was, was everything she wanted and needed.

“I know!” He said caressing her forehead that was still a little red. “I’m special. That’s why I have your heart!”

Areum closed her eyes and pouted her lips for him to kiss her, which he did before she pushed  him away.

“You smell! Go shower!” She complained making him chuckle.

- Present day –

The secret place turned out to be Audrey’s bedroom, which made total sense. No oen would search Areum there since she was supposedly angry with Audrey too.

Areum sat on the floor and leaned her back against Audrey’s bed, pulling her knees up to hug.

Audrey watched her in silence and locked the door of her bedroom.

“They won’t search you here!”

Areum raised her eyes to Audrey and watched her lean her ear against the door.

“They are outside.” She whispered and stood silent for a while before she stepped back from the door “They left.”

She then walked to Areum and sat in front of her watching her cry in silence.

Areum hid her face against her knees and tried to calm down. Crying wasn’t going to help and she needed to think about what to do next. She didn’t want to stay at that house any longer. She needed to step away from that world and think about what to do next.
She could either pretend that nothing of that happened or she could try to find a way to live with that reality.

She was so lost in thoughts wondering what to do next that she only realized that Audrey was in front of her when she offered her a cute box in the shape of a Panda.

They both loved pandas. Areum grabbed it confused until she released it had paper tissues inside.

She pulled two from it and blew her nose.

“It’s cute right?” Audrey asked smiling a little. “Kibum gave it to me after he came back from Japan last time.”

Audrey eyes moved away from Areum’s gaze and Areum grasped the box knowing that expression.

That was the look and the tone of voice Audrey reserved for the special people in her heart, her parents she still wanted to meet someday, Areum and now….Kibum. Her friend was in love.

“It is…” Areum answered noticing how her friend avoided looking at her because if there was someone who knew how to read her it was Areum. They would never be able to hide anything from each other.

Areum didn’t push the subject or say anything. It wasn’t her right to do so and she was too busy struggling with her present situation and feelings to worry about Audrey’s.

Areum sighed deeply, cleaning her teary eyes and Audrey sat in front of her again, rubbing her arm.

“Want me to say anything?” She asked clearly eager to tell Areum what she thought about the present situation.

“About?”

“About Lee Jinki and the mission, or do you prefer me to keep quiet?”

They always did that before. They respected each other space and they always asked the other if she wanted her opinion or not. It was a rule they had as friends, as sisters.

Areum smiled because that was familiar, because that was a piece of home.

 Audrey and Jinki.

In their arms she felt at home.

The thought was painful and Areum her salty lips from the tears. “For now I prefer if you don’t say anything!”

Audrey nodded in agreement and stood there in front of Areum, close, in case she needed her embrace once again, like she did before in the past.

If it was another person Areum would probably feel bad having someone watching her cry but between them it was normal and comfortable.

“Want some water? I can pick it up for you!” Audrey offered after a while.

She was so happy that she could be beside her friend again, that she could be helpful to her in any way and Areum could feel it in every word and gesture.

“Yes please!”

“I’ll be quick and I will lock the door.”

Audrey stood up and ran to the door doing as she said.

Areum stayed inside the bedroom alone. For the first time she let her eyes move around the bedroom her friend called hers for years now. She stood up and walked around it observing the bed, the pile of books on her friend’s bedside table, the several makeup items on her beauty table and then her eyes settled on the small table where the panda box probably was.

Areum carefully placed it next to an old notebook that she recognized as one where Areum often did annotations related to work and a beautiful jewelry box that had a bunny on top. It looked expensive and Areum run her fingers over the small pearls that were the bunny eyes.

She hesitated before opening the box, curious to see if her friend had many jewels. Audrey wasn’t the type to ask guys for jewelry but she liked cute rings and had several earrings that she used as good luck charms.

However inside the box there was no jewelry. Instead she found a pile of letters with a rubber band around them. Areum was going to close the box because she didn’t have the right to touch something like that when she noticed her name written on the top of one.

She carefully grabbed the letters and took off the band, reading the first letter. It was dated from the day after she married Jinki, the first day of her wedding life.

Dear Areum,

Right now you are probably still daydreaming about your wedding, probably complaining about your husband having to go to work early in the morning and leave you for a full week.

If it makes you feel better I just saw Lee Jinki and he didn’t’ seem eager to do this mission either. Kibum didn’t tell me anything about it as usual but I heard Jonghyun say that they will give Jinki the easiest part of the work so he can come back home to you with no scratches.

That’s sweet of them!

Soon you will be on your honeymoon and I wish…

Areum folded that letter, not wanting to read about Jinki and grabbed another one.

Dear Areum,

Today is your wedding day.

I saw a picture of you on your wedding dress that Jinki sent me and I cried.

I wish I was there. I always knew you would marry before me and I pictured you wearing a princess dress so many times before like a proud mother.

You look so happy. It makes me truly happy too…

Areum cleaned her tears and flipped through the several letters checking the dates. They were so many and with differences of weeks and sometimes days between them.

She found the one from her last birthday and unfolded it.

Dear Areum,

Happy Birthday!

I gave Jinki a small hairpin for him to give you. I know he is going to propose to you tonight and I know you will say yes.

He is nervous though…He is actually cute when he is nervous. The others made fun of him.

I hope you are happy. I know you are. I wish I was there. I know I write this in all letters but I do…

Jinki actually being nervous because he was going to ask her to marry him?!

Areum’s fingers trembled and she folded the letter almost letting all fall into the table. The last one did fall and she grabbed it.

Dear Areum,

This is the last letter I’ll write to you. I heard about what happened on Thailand and I’m glad to hear you are safe. Right now you are flying back to Korea. I just heard from Kibum that you are coming to live here. I was so happy since finally I’ll be able to see you, to hug you. I wanted to greet you at the door but everyone is against it. They say you might be in shock for what happened, that you need time to get used to all this action movie our lives fall into, that Jinki should first tell you about Aeon. Makes sense. I would be crazy if I saw a ghost waiting for me!

I asked Lee Jinki not to tell you anything about me yet!  I want to surprise you, to tell you myself.

Is it selfish of me? I only want to…

Areum eyes moved from the letter to the door when she heard the door knob move.

She quickly placed the rubber band around the letters and placed them inside the box, quickly closing it.

Whoever was at the door didn’t have the key and Areum moved nervously closer to it.

“Audrey?” Someone called from the other side and Areum didn’t have a hard time recognizing Kibum’s voice. “Can we talk?”

Silence. She couldn’t answer. She wasn’t Audrey and she didn’t want to be found.

Actually hiding there made her even more confused. Those letters Audrey wrote and never sent were meant for her. It was a collection of memories she could never share with her. Memories where she talked about her feelings. Areum heart was heavier now. Heavier because she wanted to read all of those letter and didn’t have time, heavier because in those letters Audrey spoke about a Jinki that loved her, that was worried about building a bridge between her and Audrey, a Jinki that was nervous before asking her to marry him.

That Jinki never existed. Areum found out a few minutes ago that he didn’t and yet in Areum’s letters he existed.

That hairpin existed. Areum could remember perfectly how Jinki placed it on her hair while she laid down on his arms. How he told her that it was a special hairpin that she should never lose.

If that hairpin existed then maybe that Jinki existed too.

“Audrey?” Kibum voice called from the other side of the door. “I know you are there! You always lock the door when you don’t want to talk with me!”

Areum swallowed not sure what to do. Kibum seemed to be used to that kind of treatment from Audrey since he didn’t seem to be going to give up soon.

“I’m sorry.” He said with a tone of voice Areum didn’t hear from him before. That wasn’t agent Key speaking. It was someone else she didn’t know and Audrey did. “I’m sorry for what happened yesterday!”

“Really?” Audrey voice came out from the other side too and Areum realized that she probably came back with the glass of water.

She stepped closer to the door and leaned against it listening to their conversation.

- Several years ago - 

Mi Jung used her stalker skills that she believed that she got from her dad, a former secret agent, and used the window of the living room to peek at Jonghyun outside. She didn’t see him regularly since he left high school and she went to study fashion and he entered literature.

He was talking with Jinki, her adopted brother and Mi Jung wasn’t stupid. She knew about the secrets that house hid ever since she was little. She also knew about who her dad was and she knew that he hired several professionals to teach her adopted brothers and other young men to be secret agents too.

There was once a time when she wanted to be one too but she lacked the skills and more importantly the drive to be one.

Since their household had secrets it was very rare for her brothers or even her to invite friends over so once Mi Jung started seeing Jonghyun inside the property almost daily she knew what he was doing there.

She heard about how Jonghyun was arrested after manifesting in front of a famous company that hired children to work on their factories for minor prices in undeveloped countries; and she also heard about how her father took him  off from jail even before Jonghyun own parents did.

Apparently Jinki spoke greatly about Kim Jonghyun to her father and he now saw him as a great person and probably someone that could help them with their cause.

Mi Jung didn’t like it. Being a member of SM came with a great danger and she didn’t want the man she had a crush on to be a part of all that.

Jonghyun was strong-minded and brave, he had a great heart but he also had talent and a big future ahead of him. He was more than a soldier, than an agent. He was amazing and everyone needed to know that. He was a literature major in college but he was so much more…

Mi Jung saw Jinki walk away and view that as a great opportunity to approach Jonghyun. She quickly run into the hallway and left the house from the main door hiding in the middle of the trees as best as she could. He didn’t see her, so she took that as an opportunity to dash further into the path he would probably follow. She quickly sat under one of the big trees and lied down pretending to be asleep.

Her heart was beating so much that she had to use all her focus to pretend to be asleep.

She heard someone approaching and she tried to breathe naturally which was hard since she couldn’t calm her body.

Jonghyun stopped in front of her watching her sleeping form and Mi Jung had to fight her desire to open her eyes and see his expression. Was he looking at her thinking that she was a silly woman for sleeping outside in a weird angle or was he looking at her with love, mesmerized with her beautiful peaceful sleeping expression?

She held her breath when she felt him step closer, his knees falling right beside her on the ground, his head clearly leaning in.

Was he going to kiss her?!

However he moved back again and Mi Jung opened her eyes tired of pretending.

He didn’t seem surprised to see her looking at him; he probably figured out that she was pretending all along. It wasn’t rare for Mi Jung to seduce him, to was it by wearing more daring clothes in front of him, was it for introducing him her most recent boyfriend. She wanted him and clearly he didn’t seem to want her.

“Why didn’t you kiss me?” She asked confused sitting up, her face inches from his.

His eyes moved from her eyes to her lips as if he was still pondering on his choices.

“Because I shouldn’t!”

“Why?” She asked upset “Because of my dad?”

“No. Because I don’t know if you really want me to kiss you!”

 Mi Jung was too confusing to him. She was the most confusing and complicating woman he ever met. One day she would be all over him and the next she would be on a blind date with another man.

She widened her eyes wondering if he was an idiot! She did everything to show him that she wanted him, to make him jealous. Maybe he was much simpler than she thought!

Well if he wanted her to be clear about it then she would.

“Do it! Kiss me!”

Jonghyun laughter surprised Mi Jung.

“Don’t joke with my feelings!” He said ready to stand up but she pulled him down again.

“I’m not!” Her expression was serious and Jonghyun swallowed nervously. “Kiss me! I can’t stop imagining it…the moment you kiss me.”

Those beautiful lips that used to say the most beautiful words in poetry class in high school, the same ones that would scream words of wisdom, of freedom, of human rights.

Jonghyun leaned forward making her gasp because it was going to happen and Mi Jung closed her eyes slightly opening her lips, tilting her head like a princess ready to be kissed.

Jonghyun hesitated admiring her. She was truly a princess, but not the kind of princess everyone saw, the naughty brat one. Mi Jung had a side of her that was innocent and fragile, a side that he was one of the rare people that could see it. Now, after watching her for years he could understand why Jinki and Taemin didn’t see her as he did at first.

That beautiful perfect woman in front of him asking for a kiss had as many flaws as everyone else, the same insecurities, the same need to be loved.

He knew that if he didn’t give in to her at that moment, that if he didn’t kiss her she would walk away pretending to not be upset, pretending that he didn’t break her heart. But both would know that it was a lie. She wanted him to kiss her and Kim Jonghyun also wanted to kiss her.

So he did just that.

He caressed her cheek gently, his lips moving against hers in a short sweet kiss, the kind of ones princesses received.

He moved back watching her carefully, her beautiful eyes with long eyelashes that made her look like a doll, her pink soft lips and red cheeks.

Mi Jung was embarrassed and smitten with him. He was sure of that now. He could bet that her heart was beating as much as his.

“Not saying anything?” He asked amused. It was quite funny to see how much changed in a few years. How his crush become the one who had a crush on him. “Was it like you imagined it?”

“I knew you would be dangerous!” Mi Jung answered touching her red cheeks.

She loved the dangerous ones, the ones that would make her heart beat crazily afraid to get caught. She used to seduce her father recruits before but Kim Jonghyun was a whole new kind of dangerous. With only one touch of his lips he made her want to melt in his arms, to commit all kind of sins, to go against her father.

Jonghyun frowned and helped Mi Jung stand up. She seemed a little dazed and he took his time releasing her, afraid that she would fall.

Even after he released her she still didn’t move, her eyes on his.

“Kim Jonghyun, tomorrow, near the stables at four!” She ordered being her bossy old self again, or trying to, since he now could see her in a different light. She cleared and kissed his cheek before leaving “Don’t be late!”

- Present Day - 

“Really?” Audrey asked Kibum that was motionless in front of the door of her bedroom.

He glanced from the door to Audrey’s hand that was holding a glass of water. “Why is the door locked?”

She rarely locked it and he was clearly suspicious.

“I-I was thirsty and went to grab a glass of water and did it unconsciously.”

Kibum expression didn’t change “Why bring the glass up? Why not drink it downstairs?”

Audrey’s voice came out a little unsteady now “Because I want to drink it while I read….in my room.”

“Right!”

He knows! Audrey was sure of it.

“You know, Jinki isn’t the kind that cries easily.” The change on subject confused Audrey until she realized that Kibum wasn’t speaking to her anymore “He isn’t as strong as he seems but he doesn’t cry easily. Instead he bottles up his feelings inside.”

“Well he isn’t the only one suffering in this situation!” Audrey replied.

“Right now he is suffering a lot! It’s the first time I see him cry!” Kibum insisted “You don’t know what it is like to live a double life. It’s not like he choose to lie. He had to do it and I wish Areum could try to be on his shoes for a moment before judging him!”

“So he is the victim in this story is that what you are saying?” Audrey gritted out “Using someone just because she has feelings for you, because you feel lonely and lying to her constantly is not right!”

Kibum raised an eyebrow because they weren’t clearly talking about Jinki and Areum anymore. They were talking about them. Their relationship or lack of…

“Are you talking about Jinki or about me?” He asked. “Jinki never used her, you know that! If there is someone inside this damn organization that cares for her well-being it’s him! Ever since the first moment he risked his life for her and in return he receives a slap and incomprehension from her. We are ing secret agents!” Kibum was angry now “Jinki grew up inside this company. His parents lived for this! He isn’t a common man! This is his life! This company is his family! Maybe he did commit mistakes, maybe he let his heart rule over all reason…he probably did if he commit the mistake of taking a childish selfish woman inside all this mess!”

Kibum wasn’t sure if he was also talking about Jinki or himself and clearly Audrey didn’t care at the moment. Either way she was pissed off with him.

Yes she knew about Jinki feelings for Areum and Audrey recognized how much he sacrificed for her friend but she was on the other side. She could understand Areum’s suffering too.

“Don’t you dare say something like that! Even Jinki would punch you if he heard you say that about her! And…”

Audrey didn’t get to argue more with Kibum because the door of her bedroom opened and Areum peeked shyly outside.

Kibum stared at her with no embarrassment since that was all meant for her to hear and Areum raised her eyes to him.

“Can I speak to the person in charge please?”  She asked with a tiny voice.

“You mean Lee Sooman Sunbaenim?”

“Yes, please. Can you take me to him?”

“Sure!” The sooner they got that mess solved the sooner their lives would get back to normal. Or so Kibum supposed.

-  3 years ago - 

Audrey peeked inside the room and then slowly entered it.

Kibum was silent, wearing a black uniform, his eyes closed clearly meditating.

He probably already finished his training section or so she thought.

Audrey stood there watching him for a while, admiring his profile and taking her time watching the sweat on his forehead.

He sighed clearly upset that she was in the same room as him and Kibum opened his eyes and crossed his arms in a defensive posture ready to ask what she wanted.

“Can you help me learn how to defend myself?”

His expression didn’t change and he gestured for her to approach him.

Audrey did so wearing her blue jeans shorts and white stripped navy sweater, her curly hair caught on a ponytail making her look like a kid.

He grabbed a jumping rope from the shelf near him and offered it to her, which she accepted uneasy.

“Jump!” Kibum ordered and she stepped back wondering how jumping would help her fight anyone and save her life if it was needed.

“Do it!” He ordered again and she did it. She slowly started jumping while he watched her not seeming much interested in it. She tripped on the rope, praying that he wasn’t looking at her s while she jumped and restarted again under his glare.

Audrey wasn’t good with exercise related things. Areum was the one who was good at running but Audrey was only ok in games like badminton. Something more physical than that where she had to run a lot was a no no for her.

After several trips and startings he sighed deeply and called it stops.

“You are lazy, sloppy and you clearly have no stamina. You can’t save your life like that even if I teach you self-defense. You are dead meat! I’m not helping you. It’s too much work!”

He smiled like a cat clearly amused with her disappointed expression and pulled the rope away from her hand before turning his back on her to tidy up the exercise room.

“Hey!” Audrey screamed.

He ignored her placing the rope next to the other ones inside a bowl in the shelf.

“Hey!” Audrey screamed pissed off grabbing a wooden katana from the wall before turning to hit him with it. She was slow though and once she tried to attack him he turned around, grabbed it with both hands and easily pulled it from her hand, throwing the katana to the other side of the room. Audrey gasped just when he used his leg to make her trip, her body falling on the floor above the comfy black mattresses the SHINee team used to train martial arts without getting hurt.

She didn’t have time to recover when her back hit the mattress because quickly Kibum kneeled beside her, his hand gripping her neck, his fingers ready to suffocate her.

“Never attack someone that is more skilled than you with a weapon you don’t know how to use! Accept this as a first lesson to protect yourself!”

Audrey scared eyes on Kibum made him move his hand away from her neck and she rubbed her skin sitting up. He didn’t hurt her and yet his deadly expression was too scary.

“I could have killed you. I would have if you were a Dokko Agent. Never do that again!”

“You think you are the best don’t you?” She asked bitterly “Just because you know more than I do about fighting! Well I could beat you up in the science laboratory you !”

Kibum pursed his lips before smiling, a soft chuckle leaving his mouth. She was so funny sometimes! “Yes, you are probably right! “ He moved his finger to her shirt and flicked the cute pin she had on it. “But science wouldn’t keep you alive if I had my hand around your neck would it?”

He stood up still laughing at her and Audrey closed her hands into fists watching him go away.

She grabbed her shoe and threw it at him, hitting his back. He clearly wasn’t expecting that because he turned around to her.

She had tears of anger in her eyes and she looked furious with him.

Good. Anger was a good motivation to do your best at something.  He knew, he was also like that, angry, disappointed with the world.

He grabbed her shoe from the floor.

“You are not the best!” She accused crossing her arms like a little girl even though her words showed more wisdom “The best doesn’t give up just because it is too much work or seems impossible to do!”

He bit his lower lip watching her. She was right. He never gave up before and he would never give up on anything.

If she wanted to be able to defend herself he would help her. He just needed to adapt the lessons to someone like her.

“Ok. We can start with shooting a gun. Here tomorrow at 8. Don’t be late….and please wear something else less…” His eyes moved from her revealing shorts to her sweater that perfectly highlighted her s while she jumped and distracted him.  “Child like!”

- Present day -

Jinki pushed the door open and entered Lee Sooman office uninvited.

Neither his father or Areum seemed surprised to see him and he closed the door behind him before he walked closer to the desk.

His wife…well she was still his wife, was avoiding looking at him, her eyes on the man in front of her and Lee Sooman gestured for Jinki to come closer and sit next to Areum.

“I’m sorry sir….” Jinki said still panting a little. He clearly ran to the office as soon as he heard from Kibum that she asked to talk with his father.

“Sit!” Sooman asked gently and Jinki did as he told, sitting on the armchair beside her, bending his head to watch her expression , even though she was using her hair to hide from him.

That made him smile a little since she was like a little girl, the same one he fell in love with.

“Areum-ssi came to talk with me. “ Sooman interrupted Jinki actions. “She made me a request. She wants to go back to her apartment.”

“What?” Jinki exclaimed not believing what he just heard “She can’t!” He turned to her “You can’t! It’s impossible and dangerous! Dokko will probably search you there first and we will need to place agents to protect you and…”

“I told her that!” Lee Sooman interrupted Jinki “I told her about the present situation and still she wants it. She insists that she doesn’t need any protection and she asked me to forget about her because she doesn’t want to have anything to do with us anymore.”

Jinki paled before he the chair to face her. Areum did a huge effort not to look at him and he knew. “Kitty….I mean Areum! Listen to me! This is suicide! They will hunt you down; they will torture you to get to Audrey! They will!”

She turned to him not able to avoid him anymore. His eyes were red and Kibum words came to her mind immediately. He cried for her.

He seemed so worried too; his expression showed that he was begging her to trust him. She couldn’t though. Not after everything that happened. Kibum was right. He was an idiot bringing her into his world. She didn’t want to be a part of it anymore. She needed to be away to think. To decide what she wanted to do with her life, if she still wanted him….of course she didn’t… if Audrey was still her sister.

“I don’t care. I know nothing about that stupid machine and I’m no longer Audrey’s friend. So I can just go home and live my life like before. I don’t belong here!” She swallowed noticing how her words seemed to hurt him “Soon they will realize that I have no ties with SM and they will give up on me!”

Jinki laughed bitterly. How could she be so innocent, so naive?! That side of her that he loved so much was the same one he always hated, the same one that made her fall in danger all over again. “Are you crazy? That’s not how things work, not in my world not anywhere!” They clearly forgot about not being alone in the room and Lee Sooman only watched him knowing that he shouldn’t interfere now.

“You were with me in Thailand. You saw what they tried to do to you! What they would have done if we didn’t save you! You can’t be this stupid!”” 

His face was red of annoyance because she would be so oblivious sometimes and she grasped the arms of her chair ready to bicker with him. “Maybe if you we didn’t met then I wouldn’t be in danger at all!”

He gritted his teeth upset with her conclusion and Areum accused “You said the mole knew where I was because you took me on the honeymoon!”

He was clearly hurt with her accusations. “You can’t mean that!” He softened his voice “You were in danger from the start because Audrey loved you. I took you on the honeymoon because you wanted it! I did it for you to have a normal life!”

“Don’t bring Audrey into this and don’t make this all my fault!” Areum bickered.

“I’m not….” He rubbed his head upset “You can’t possible regret meeting me! You can’t because…a world without you in my life is not worth living for.”

Areum blinked her eyes when he forcefully grabbed her hand, his words making her heart tingle.

“Don’t go. They will kill you…”

“They won’t!” She insisted pulling her hand away “I’ll be perfectly fine!”

“YOU ARE SO DAMN STUBBORN AND RECKLESS!” Jinki said turning on the chair knowing that he wouldn’t win that argument alone and he needed Lee Sooman help.

“You can’t agree with this!”

“I can’t make her stay as a prisoner. You know that!”

“She has information. She has been inside this house and she knows Audrey is here. The mole probably already passed this information…”

“All Dokko agents know Audrey is here. That’s not exactly something new to them!”

“Yes but they will capture her to use her as a bargaining chip.” Jinki insisted. “Audrey won’t stay put if her friend is in danger!”

“It’s ok. Audrey doesn’t need to save me!” Areum remarked “I don’t want her to. I’m going home and I’ll ask her to not come after me!”

Jinki scoffed leaning on his seat “Things don’t work like that. You don’t simply ask someone to stop loving and caring about you…” he stared at Areum.

She really didn’t understand what she got into or she wouldn’t be saying things like that. She was mad with him and Audrey, clearly confused and eager to leave that house to be away for them. As always she was giving in to her impulsiveness not thinking about the consequences of her actions.

“I know you are upset and want to run away. I respect that, so please at least let me protect you.” He asked desperate and Areum heart beat faster with the urgency on his voice.

Maybe it was true, maybe she wasn’t only a mission after all, maybe he did really fall in love with her and loved her as much as she loved him.

“Not you….” She lied “I don’t want to see you!”

“Ok. Not me. Then Minho or someone from the company. Please. I’ll do anything you want if you accept it.”

She nodded her head “Ok. Someone outside from SHINee then.” She turned to Lee Sooman “One agent only. Someone I don’t know and I prefer not to know him at all. He can be discreet right?”

The older man agreed “I’ll provide it right away.” He stood up leaving the couple alone.

“Areum…” Jinki sang her name trying one more time to make her see the crazy thing she was going to do.

“You said you would do anything if I accepted it.” She interrupted him.

“Yes. Anything!” As always…anything, everything for her.

“I want the divorce!”

He flinched. He should have expected that and yet inside him there was always hope that she would reconsider and realize how much he loved her.

He his lips, sadness filling his eyes. It was her wish and he promised.

It was killing him inside but if that was what she wanted he would respect it.

“I’ll take care of it.”

- Several years ago -

That afternoon Taemin waited in the lobby for his grandmother. She was still talking with Lee Sooman probably settling the last documents about his adoption.

He heard part of what they talked about, he heard his adoptive father telling his old grandma that he would take care of him; he heard his grandmother tell him about how Taemin rarely cried, how he didn’t cry his brother death even though they were close.

Lee Sooman said it was ok, that his other son, Lee Jinki also had the same problem.

That episode and his grandmother words were very clear on his mind years later when he woke up from a nightmare with tears in his eyes.

It was something that happened often, seeing his brother dying in front of him all over again, that scary man’s words not leaving his head.

However that night it was the first time he woke up with tears in his eyes.

He probably screamed too because he heard a soft knock on the door and Jinki peeked inside, wearing his white pajama, his sleepy eyes and messed up hair making him look like a kid.

“Are you ok?” He asked with a gentle voice “Do you need anything?”

Taemin was thankful that he didn’t ask him if he had a nightmare or why he was crying.

“Can you come in?” he asked instead not wanting to be alone that night.

Jinki entered the bedroom and closed the door before he sat on Taemin’s bed looking at him.

“Want to play a game?” He asked trying to lighten the mood.

Taemin shook his head still crying and covered his eyes with his hands. He never saw Jinki cry. It wasn’t as if he didn’t cry because Taemin was sure he did, but he always hid it from the people he cherished. Acting like that, showing his weak side to others who loved him made Taemin feel bad, but he didn’t want to be alone, not that night.

“I dreamed with my brother.” Taemin confessed “I always do! I saw him die again…”

“I know! I hear you scream at night!”

Taemin uncovered his eyes and looked at Jinki “You scream too sometimes that’s why…” That was why he knew he would understand.  He knew how Jinki also dreamed with his parents’ death. “I feel like I am alone in this world.”

“I am too. It’s like we don’t belong anywhere.”

“It scares me.”

Jinki nodded his head. In the end Taemin was only a kid and he was the hyung. Not his real brother though…

He had a crazy idea!

“Let’s do this. A blood pact! I saw it on tv.” Jinki looked around the room searching for something sharp and Taemin raised his pillow taking a small knife from bellow it.

“WOW!” Jinki widened his eyes.

“Makes me feel safer!”

“No need to use that here. I swear we are very safe inside these walls!”

Jinki scared expression made Taemin laugh. He watched Jinki prick his thumb and then Taemin grabbed the knife doing the same to his.

They joined thumbs in a bizarre weird ceremony.

“We are now blood brothers.” Jinki whispered to give more meaning to that childish ceremony “Like destiny, the same blood can never be apart from each other.”

They separated their thumbs and Jinki stared at his bloody finger. “I never thought I would make something like this one day.”

“This is the most stupid and silly thing I’ve ever done.” Taemin chuckled making Jinki laugh.

“I thought it would cheer you up! Now you aren’t alone and stopped crying!”

It was true and Taemin felt like hugging him. It was too soon though. They weren’t that close yet.

“Yes. Now I’m stuck together with a hyung even more childish than me!”

Jinki smiled knowing that even though that was a silly idea it worked on cheering him up.

That was what made Jinki special. He had a certain charisma that made everyone want to be a part of his life, a certain something that made him touch everyone in a special way. Taemin could see that, everyone could see it.

Once you fall in love with Lee Jinki you can never stop loving him.

- Present day-

“Aren’t you going to stop her?” Minho asked stepping from behind Jinki that was watching Areum from a distance.

She was speaking with Audrey in front of the mansion, a car behind her, the same one that would take her back home.

“No!”

He knew what they were saying even though he was far away spying on them.

She was “breaking “ up with her friend, saying that she needed to keep away from her for a while, to find a path back to her old life, that she didn’t want her to follow her.

Jinki scoffed remembering how Areum said that she wanted everyone to stop loving her. Did she have any idea of what she was even asking?!

Areum hugged Audrey, a quick hug but it was enough to make the later cry.

Then Areum raised her eyes to the mansion, taking her time observing the windows.

He knew what she was doing, she was searching for him.

The truth was that Areum was like a big kid. She spent most of her life hiding inside her stories and her fantasy world that a part of her never grow up. That dreamy, naive side of her was what attracted Audrey and Jinki to her and was in part what was making her part with them.

Areum was growing up, realizing that things aren’t always as pink as she painted them in her books, that sometimes people we love hurt us and still we have to learn to live with it and forgive. He hoped that in the long run she would realize it and at least accept what Audrey and Jinki did.

She opened the door of the car still looking around waiting for him. It was funny since she said she hated him. If she did as she told him she wouldn’t be so eager to see him, so eager for him to stop her of doing that stupidity.

Jinki decided not to say goodbye. It was better that way since he couldn’t ever say goodbye to someone he loved that much. He wasn’t able to do it with his parents and nothing in this world would make him say goodbye to her.

He watched her enter the car and then waited until it disappeared down the road in silence, an unreadable expression on his face.

“I can’t believe you are letting her go!” Minho complained.

“I’m sorry for the punch!” Jinki said turning around.

“It’s ok. I’m used to being punched by you by now!”

Jinki chuckled and Minho grabbed his shoulder before he could walk away.

“You can’t let her go like this!”

“I need to respect her decision. I screwed up so much. I lied to her continuously. I’m not going to do it anymore. She doesn’t want me around her so I will respect it. Besides she needs to learn with her own mistakes!”

“This isn’t learning! She might die!” Minho said the obvious and Jinki face contorted in pain.

“I know and its killing me inside but I promised her.” Minho watched Jinki walk away with tears in his eyes. He knew that look better than anyone. It was the same one he saw every time he looked at himself in the mirror years ago.

After that Jinki disappeared for days.

- Several Years Ago - 

Paris.

Kibum loved Paris.

Not because it was the city of love, or because of its history and monuments but because he met Gi there.

Paris would be forever tied to the day he spent with her, visiting museums, trying to see Mona Lisa in the middle of the crowd of people, climbing the Eiffel Tower together, and drinking tea while eating cake together in one of the several coffee shops.

Gi was still the same he remembered, with her easy smile and the ability to surprise him in everything. Yet she wasn’t the girl who finished high school with him anymore. She was a woman and Kibum found himself admiring her profile several times, wanting to touch her lips, kiss her cheek or pull her into his arms.

When she run to him and hugged him, Kibum couldn’t ignore the way his heart reacted. The friendship they shared turned into something more during the high school days and he couldn’t hide it anymore. Visiting her in Paris was the perfect opportunity to tell her about what he felt and he planned to do so once they reached her apartment. It was a good omen that she grabbed his hand while they walked the streets of Paris, excitedly speaking about art, food and their plans for the future.

Kibum wasn’t sure how she would react to his confession but he was willing to take the risk and be honest with her. He wasn’t the type to hide what he felt, and he could never understand why some people would never confess, suppressing those feelings for years.

“I can’t wait to show you what I painted yesterday!” Gi said climbing the stairs to her apartment “We can paint together again!”

Kibum nodded happy because he had the same wish.

“By the way, I heard Jae is in France too!”

Gi didn’t even look back at Kibum and instead stopped in front of the door of her apartment. “I know!”

Kibum grinned feeling a little guilty that he was happy with the lack of interest she showed on their mutual friend.  The truth was that he was always a little jealous of Jae. Both had a crush on Gi and it was very obvious. She was the only one who couldn’t see it or better, pretended not to.

She opened the door and they both entered the apartment.

Kibum gasped in wonder, his eyes observing the decoration of her small apartment. She had several plants near the window and a small couch surrounded by several bookshelves. The walls were covered on paintings she did and a easel was near the window, a painting unfinished on it.

“I like it!” He said sincerely “It’s so you!”

Gi laughed taking off her coat ready to ask him what that was supposed to mean.

Kibum never managed to answer it because Jae came out from Gi bedroom wearing only his underwear.

“KIBUM!” He exclaimed moving to hug his friend. Kibum hugged him back, his betrayed eyes moving to Gi that looked at him apologetically.

“I arrived yesterday!” Jae said patting his friend back “I was surprised when Gi told me you were coming too!”

He turned around and kissed Gi on the lips, a long kiss that was not necessary and seemed more like a dog marking his territory than an act of love.

Gi was a little taken aback with it too and Kibum looked away, jealousy burning him inside.

Jae moved away mumbling something about Kibum sleeping on the couch before entering the bedroom to dress up and Gi her lips sending Kibum a sorrowful look.

He knew that look.

They slept together. They were together and she forgot to tell him, giving him hope for something else.

“Im sorry…He arrived yesterday and…it happened!” GI whispered but Kibum looked away.

He was too late to confess now. He had to be one of those people he couldn’t understand ever, hiding his feelings.

- Present Day - 

The music of the bar was bothering Areum and she didn’t feel like drinking anymore.

After three days that she spent closed inside her apartment waiting for something she wasn’t sure what, she decided to go out with one of her old blind dates. After all she was getting a divorce, she wasn’t cheating on Jinki. She could do it without feeling guilty.

Wrong!

She did feel guilty and minutes before meeting him she called saying she couldn’t go after all. That was why she was alone inside a bar drinking to her misery.

The song was a romantic one, with a man singing about second chances, about giving their love another try even though it hurt because their love was worth it.

It was depressing her, making her go back in time to when she believed that second chances were really a possibility, to when she used to write about them  in her drafts, to when Jinki would hug her at night.

Things weren’t going like she imagined after coming back home.

She hoped that everything would make sense, that she would be able to think about everything carefully, that she would be able to decide what to do with her life and her friendship with Audrey, that she would forget about Jinki.

It was exactly the opposite. Everything made her thing about Audrey and she found herself regretting not reading the letters she never sent to her; everything made her miss Jinki and the cold bed that greeted her every night made her cry.

His clothes and things were still inside her apartment and she didn’t dare to move them, using excuses like she wasn’t going to spend time touching his things when in reality she was afraid that his presence left her life for good and she spent part of her day touching his clothes searching his scent.

She loved them. She loved them more than anything and it hurt being away from Audrey and Jinki.  Nothing in the world was able to make her forget them that easily, worse did she even want to forget them?!

She should have! She hated them for being liars! She should hate them with all her heart! That was the reasonable reaction to what they have done to her and yet she missed them like hell!

Areum played with her glass of soju when she saw a familiar man with dark brown hair.

Jinki.

He followed her. She knew that he would, that he would not give up on protecting her. His presence should make her upset but instead she smiled happy with it.

Areum stood up from the bar stool and walked in his direction ready to act drunk even if she wasn’t and fall into his arms after scolding him for being there. She needed him, she missed him and above all she was worried with his safety now that she knew what he did for a living.

Areum stopped behind him ready to pat his shoulder when she realized that that wasn’t his back, or his height. That wasn’t her Jinki.

The man turned around and she excused herself feeling silly because in her eagerness to see him she mistook another man for being him.

That night she decided to sleep in the couch instead, avoiding her cold bed.

She wasn’t confused. She knew what she wanted. She wanted him. She wanted Jinki to kiss her and tell her that everything was going to be alright, she wanted to laugh with Audrey, she wanted to hug her mother one more time, she even wanted to see her father again.

For a brief moment, inside that bar, she wanted Jinki to forget about her request and protect her in the name of the love he always said he felt for her.

Maybe Kibum was right after all. Maybe she was being selfish and childish not understanding why Audrey and Jinki lied to her.

They did it in the name of love and maybe there were some promised worth being broken for love.

She once promised Audrey that she would never go back, that she would never see her father again but she realized how lucky she was that three of the people she loved the most were still alive. Jinki and Audrey didn’t have parents anymore but Areum did have her father that she didn’t see in years.

Maybe breaking that stubborn promise she made years ago was the right thing to do at the moment and maybe she would understand Jinki and Audrey a little if she did that.

Going back in time was the right thing to do to go forward again.

- Some years ago -

That was Minho’s first time inside Lee Sooman’s Mansion.

Not exactly the main one but the one where Jonghyun lived with his Mi Jung, now his wife.

They were recently married and Minho felt awful for being there ruining their honeymoon like life.

That was one of the reasons he rarely left his bedroom. The others were: he hated his life, he wanted to die, it was too sunny outside, the love of his life didn’t care if he was alive and left him, he couldn’t protect her and she didn’t trust that he could at all, beside several others.

A month passed since Onew saved him from the love motel and Minho was only a shadow of the man he was before. He rarely ate, he didn’t leave his bedroom, and he didn’t even shower much.

He just wanted to die.

Jonghyun clearly didn’t know what to do with him anymore and Minho couldn’t care less. He was too focused on his pain to care about the pain he was inflicting the others.

He was being selfish like humans normally are when they are suffering and he didn’t give a about it.

His parents didn’t mind either since they didn’t find it strange that he wasn’t working as a model anymore, that he was not answering their calls.

Jonghyun told Minho that he was in contact with his parents but Minho knew better. They didn’t care!

Well he didn’t either!

That was until that day Onew stepped into his life again.

God he hated him!

Years later he would realize how stupid that hate was, he would even feel like an idiot and accept Jinki as his best friend but for now he hated him.

He was the same man that make out with his girlfriend, the same one who saved him when he wanted to die and the same that entered his bedroom that afternoon even though Jonghyun was clearly against it.

He knew what they were trying to do.

Jonghyun was losing his mind trying to save his friend and Jinki being the perfect brother in law and clearly also Jonghyun old friend had to step in to try and help.

Minho hated him!

He didn’t need the pity of an secret agent that worked with his best friend that forgot to tell him that he was also a secret agent. How sweet!

Everyone seemed to love to lie to him!

Jinki entered the bedroom without saying a word and opened the curtains of the bedroom letting the light enter it and blind Minho that was sitting on the bed trying to blend in with the furniture and dust.

He raised his eyes filled with hatred to Jinki.

“What are you doing?”

Jinki didn’t answer and instead turned around to grab the tray of food from the bedside table offering it to the man on the bed.

“Eat!”

Minho stared at Jinki wondering if he was stupid thinking that his gentle voice and attitude would work on him or was just teasing him instead.

Either way of course he wasn’t going to eat.

He grabbed the tray and pushed it against Jinki chest, the food sliding down his white shirt and to his jeans.

Jinki barely moved watching it fall to the floor beside Minho’s feet.

Jonghyun that was watching the scene from the door stepped forward but Jinki raised his hand to stop him. “I’m fine! It’s ok!”

“It’s not ok!” Jonghyun said with sad eyes “Minho I’m starting to get tired fo this!”

“Well ! I don’t care! Let me leave and I’ll be fine!”

“Going out to drink is not being fine!” Jonghyun retorted coming out from the bathroom and giving Jinki a towel for him to clean himself.

“Well forget about me and go back to your perfect rich girl and amazing life!”

That was it! Jonghyun stared at Minho completely done with his choice of words and actions.

“ MINHO!” Jonghyun exploded hitting his hand on the wall. “When will you stop doing this to yourself, to us?! “ Minho didn’t even look at his friend because hearing his painful voice was enough. “If you don’t eat you will get sick!”

“I don’t care…” Minho was still able to say.

 Jonghyun groaned “WELL DIE THEN!” He stormed outside and Minho let himself fall to the ground, realizing how he was hurting the only person that was beside him all that time, his only friend.

Jinki was still cleaning his clothes as if he didn’t just witness two best friends fighting.

 “Why did you save me?” Minho eyes filled with tears. He was tired of that life. Tired of disappointing everyone.

“Because you are a good person. Because she asked me to!” Jinki  answered honestly.

Minho blinked his eyes wondering what he meant and Jinki explained.

“She called me. She did what she did to protect you and I respect her request!”

“Protect me!” Minho laughed bitterly “What a joke!”

“It’s not a joke when you make a big sacrifice for someone you love. Can you imagine something more painful than saying goodbye to someone you really love, to let that person go so he could have a good life?”

Minho bit his lip not wanting to hear those words.

“Do you even know what The Union is?” Jinki asked staring at the towel as if he didn’t know what to do it anymore.

“She explained to me. She told me about how she entered it. I told her I would save her and she didn’t trust me!”

“There is only one way to leave it and that is by dying!”

Jinki words made Minho cry “I need to save her!”

Jinki crouched in front of Minho. “Right now the only person you need to save is yourself. After that we can talk about it.”

“You will help me?”

“Yes!” Jinki smiled softly “Everyone needs a second chance. She deserves it and you deserve too.“

Minho moved his eyes to the door. Jonghyun was suffering because of him, because of his lack of strength, maybe if he tried to be stronger he could make him proud again, like he was on the day he stepped on the catwalk for the first time.

“Everyone deserves a second chance!” Minho repeated.  

- Present Day - 

Audrey knocked on the door with all her strength but no one came to open it and she turned around touching the dagger under her coat.

It was madness to leave the mansion only with that but she couldn’t steal a gun without the others noticing.

She felt bad for using Mi Jung to run away but it was the only way to leave the mansion.

She asked Jonghyun’s wife to go shopping with her, something she accepted immediately.

Then Audrey asked to visit a big shopping mall knowing that it would be easier to escape if she tried. Mi Jung didn’t seem happy with it but accepted in the end, the three bodyguards following after them inside the store.

She grabbed a random dress and walked inside the changing room with it while Mi Jung was focused checking the new collection the store had.

Audrey quickly opened her bag and changed clothes. She used a sick mask and grabbed her hair on bun before hiding it under a beanie. She passed by Mi Jung unnoticed and then nervously crossed the store in front of the three agents.

Once she was free she quickly called a cab and gave him Jinki address that she managed to get before hacking the company computer. It was actually very easy if you were someone inside the company and she made a note to herself to warn Lee Sooman about it later. No wonder they had a mole.

Audrey had to run away. She spent the last three days running after Lee Sooman, Mi Jung, all the SHINee members and even Kibum asking for help, telling them how urgent it was to protect Areum but no one seemed to take her serious. She was desperate and only one person loved Areum as much as she did. She needed Lee Jinki help!

Unfortunately he was off of work asking for a sick leave and disappeared once Areum left. No one seemed to know where he was and clearly he wasn’t at his apartment either.

Audrey sat on the floor outside the door wanting to cry. That was her only plan. She wasn’t stupid! She could never protect Areum alone, not with a dagger. She needed to find Lee Jinki.

She was desperate trying to think about another place he could have gone when she saw him climb the stairs.

His step was a little uneasy and his eyes were on the floor.

He was clearly drunk and Audrey frowned. Areum would have hated to see him like that. He was like a copy of her father years ago, after her mother died and probably he did it because he knew how much Areum hated it. He was punishing himself. That was how his mind worked.

Audrey stood up to help him and he raised his eyes to her.

“Audrey? !” Clearly Onew was still inside him and he widened his eyes knowing how dangerous it was that she was there. “What the are you doing here?”

She ignored all the cursing and helped him inside the apartment, letting him fall on the couch.

She went back to check if the door was locked and then kneeled on the couch beside him.

“I need to call….” Jinki mumbled trying to search his phone inside his black jacket to warn SM but Audrey stopped him.

“No. Areum is in danger. I need your help!”

Jinki closed his eyes letting his head fall on the pillow under his head “She is ok. The agent with her just texted me a few minutes ago.”

“I knew you wouldn’t give up on her! Please help me! We need to take her back to the mansion”

Jinki opened his eyes and stared at Audrey. “Give up! She hates me. She doesn’t want to see me! We are getting a divorce!” He chuckled rubbing his head “She will die before coming back to that house!”

Audrey hit his shoulder not amused with his choice of words “We both know that she doesn’t hate you. She loves you! She is only hurt and we both know her! She is like a big child Jinki. She lives in a fantasy world most of the time, she is naive! She is going to die if we don’t do something!”

He sat on the couch, his eyes fuzzy as if he was only a shell of the man Audrey learned to respect, the same one who saved Areum and her countless times “Aren’t you hearing me?!” His voice was dangerous “She was the closest I had of a family of my own and she hates me! She ing hates me!” He let his head fall backwards and Audrey stood up.

“HEY YOU MORON! SHE IS ALSO MY FAMILY!” She grabbed Jinki by his jacket making him look at her “I know her! She will give us a second chance because that’s how she is! She can’t hate anyone! Areum is too good for that! Soon she will realize why we did what we did and we need to protect her until that moment! I need you …she needs you!”

“I think I used all my chances!” He mumbled with a sad voice.

“No!” Audrey released him “No. She will follow her heart because that’s how she works and her heart is filled with you! So stand up and lets save her because she is in danger!”

“Three days passed and they didn’t make a move to get her. Maybe they really gave up on it!” Jinki said. He knew since he asked the two agents in charge of protecting her if she was ok every half an hour.

Audrey screamed losing her temper. Why no one was listening to her?! Why didn’t they understand how important Areum was?

Maybe she needed to say it. A little lie wouldn’t hurt…

“Jinki! Areum is the key!” He didn’t move closing his eyes his head resting on the couch. Audrey bit her lip because he clearly didn’t understand what she meant “She has the key to Aeon! She is the only one who can make it work!”

Jinki barely opened his eyes and Audrey cried because once he tried to stand up he fell back into the couch unconscious.

“! !” It was her time to curse in panic, shacking him. “NO PLEASE NO: WE NEED TO GO NOW! IT MIGHT BE TOO LATE PLEASE!”

He didn’t move and she sat on the floor crying over her misery.

Audrey eyed Jinki handphone that was falling from his pocket and for a brief moment she thought about calling Kibum asking for help.

No! He would probably scold her and take her back to the house. Jonghyun wouldn’t help her either. She needed to do that alone until Jinki was back on his feet.

She grabbed a piece of paper from over the table and wrote a short message to him. Then she searched him for a gun and took it from Jinki, carefully using what she learned with Kibum to see if it was safe to place it on the waist of her pants.

Audrey took a deep breath and placed her sick mask on again.

She was ready and Areum was waiting for her.

Areum wasn’t really waiting for anyone. She was back to her old house, the same one where she lived with her parents, the same one where her father still lived and the same one she promised herself to never see ever again.

Yet there she was having dinner with her father.

He coughed once again and she watched him a little worried.

He was surprised to see her back, clearly thinking that she would never come back again but still received her with a smile. For the past two hours he told her about how he did a treatment to stop consuming alcohol after she left how he was clean for years now.

She told him about Audrey, omitting the obvious and her fake death, and now they were only talking about the neighbors that parted already, about their sons, gossiping as if there want so much bitterness and regret with them at that same table.

Once he was finished she saw him grab a small basket filled with several boxes with pills.

He carefully took three and ate them with a glass of water.

“That’s a lot of medication!” She remarked knowing that there was something else he was clearly hiding from her. The fact that he was a weak, thin, version of the man he was before was a sign that there was something else he didn’t tell her yet.

“It’s liver cancer! I’m dying…There isn’t much they can do.”

Areum bit her lip knowing that she did the right thing coming there, breaking that promise. It was true that their relationship ever since her mother died wasn’t the best, it was true that he wasn’t the best of fathers but he was still her blood, he was still the same one that used to piggy ride her when she was little.

“There are really good doctors in Seoul…”

“No doctor can save me Areum. My time has come. I called this on myself.”

She swallowed her tears and he moved his hand on the white table cloth near hers “I thought I would never see you again.” He moved his eyes to the ring on her finger. “You are married!”

Areum widened her eyes looking at her hand. The ring! She completely forgot to take it off and it bugged her. “Kinda…”

“Kinda?” Her father chuckled.

“We fought. I asked for a divorce!”

Her answer made him laugh and she frowned.

“You were always like this Areum! I remember how you often fought with the neighbor daughter and decided that you wouldn’t be her best friend anymore. Then the next day you were at her door ready to play together again!”

“I’m not a kid anymore!” Areum took her hand away.

“No. But you are impulsive and never give things a second thought!” He took a deep breathe “You are like me! I know you probably will never recognize it but you think like me. Your mother was often my break. The one that made me stop and think things through before I screwed up. Once I lost her….I did awful things because the pain was unbearable. Because I had to learn how to live without her again!”

“Mom was special!” Areum agreed moving her eyes to the old family portrait collecting dust on the wall.

“Yes. Maybe your husband is your break!”

“He lied to me….a lot!” Areum pouted.

“Did that bastard cheat on my daughter?”

Areum smiled “No.” He could have but she knew he didn’t.

“Hit you?” His father expression darkened, both knowing that he regretted what he did to her.

“No. He would never.”

“Did he do something that hurt you then?”

“He did but…he says he did it to protect me. How can something you do to protect the other hurt so much?”

“They say the best things, the ones worth the most are the ones who hurt the most too.”

Areum rubbed her temple and her father finally managed to grab her hand. She didn’t pull it away. It felt weird to hold her father’s hand after such a long time.

“You still love him. The fact that you didn’t took that ring off is a sign.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t invite you to the wedding!”

He released her hand “I understand why you didn’t! I’m not proud of what I did to you. I understand if you never forgive me but sometimes people commit mistakes and that doesn’t mean that they don’t love you. This man I don’t know hurt you but he did it to protect you as he says. At least he had a good reason for it. What I did has no excuse, what I did was selfish! I wanted to be a good father to you and I end up drinking, not able to deal with my grief, not even realizing you were also suffering with your mother’s death. I ruined our life, I ruined my life. I realized too late that I was losing you too.” He stood up “I’m glad you came. Coming here meant that you are giving me a second chance to maybe be a part of your life again. That is so much more than I deserve. This man did all he did for you and yet you don’t give him the same blessing?!” He turned to leave. “Think about it once your anger disappears! I’m going to sleep! I hope you can stay until tomorrow!”

Areum watched her father leave to his bedroom and she stood in the silence of the living room her eyes on the family portrait. Under it was a small closet and she stood up remembering that her dad used to hid candy inside it when she was little.

She opened it knowing that no candy would be inside it, tears falling from her eyes. Instead she found an old notebook, similar to the ones she used to write on. She never saw her father write anything so she curiously peeked inside. What she found was a collection of the several magazines and newspaper articles where she was featured, reviewing her book and her short career as a writer.

She made a promise to never come back to forget about her father but he never forgot about her.

Jinki was right. You can’t simply ask someone to stop loving you even if you want to. Her father never did and surprisingly she never stopped loving him too even after what he did to her. Yes she was angry with him but yet she still loved him.

Areum smiled. He was clearly proud of what she achieved, he was proud of her and he loved her his own way, from a distance, knowing that what he did to her made her leave him behind.

He didn’t expect her to come back ever but she did, clearly wanting to give him a second chance.

Back then she couldn’t understand why her father didn’t love her anymore, why he constantly hurt her but now she did. That person wasn’t her dad, that person was a sick version of her dad, someone that needed help, someone that probably decided to search for help once he thought that he lost everyone he loved. He never stopped loving her after all.

Areum closed the notebook and placed it inside the closet again, closing it.

She wasn’t sure if Jinki slept with her that night for the mission. Maybe he did and maybe things backfired on him and he fell in love with her.  She was upset with him, furious and yet she couldn’t deny the fact that he loved her now, his own way.

He had to love her. He couldn’t act that perfectly and even make Audrey believe the lie. Could he fake that pain in his voice back at Lee Sooman’s office, that desperate need to protect her, his broken expression when he said that he would take care of the divorce papers?

She didn’t hate him. She was furious with him but she still loved Jinki.

- Two years Ago -

Audrey heard about Jinki coming back and she left the practicing room and ran down the stairs followed by Kibum.

He chuckled admiring her act as if she was a kid running to her mother that bought her candy. In reality she was interested in the pictures Jinki normally brought with him of Areum. He was the only person that could give her news about her friend wellbeing and Audrey was always happy to see him visit the mansion.

So happy, that it annoyed Kibum a little to see her so close to Jinki. He wasn’t jealous. No he couldn’t be!

Jinki was speaking with another agent when Audrey dashed stopping in front of him like a puppy happy that her owner was back home.

“Audrey –ssi….” Jinki mumbled.

“How is she? I heard you went to the beach together!”

Jinki chuckled wondering how she knew that and he picked up his phone from his pocket giving it to her.

Audrey eagerly grabbed it and checked his last pictures. They were all Areum and Audrey smiled because he was clearly in love with her friend.

Jinki watched her while she switched pictures.

There was one of them kissing on the beach, several of Areum in her bikini inside the water, and some she clearly took of Jinki that he quickly covered clearing his throat. Clearly that wasn’t meant for Audrey to see.

He quickly grabbed the phone again before she saw what she wasn’t supposed to see, changing the pictures.

“I’m sorry!” he mumbled blushing deeply and Audrey smiled.

“It’s ok. She loves you. I can see that!”

“I love her too!” He answered back in a low voice eyeing Director Oh that was outside speaking to the agent that just left the room.

He gave the phone back to Audrey after disappearing with the “dangerous” ones.

“You do love her!”

“Yes!” Jinki said even more embarrassed which was cute.

“It’s not a mission to you, right?” Audrey was almost sure of it. She wasn’t an expert in men behavior but the way Jinki spoke about Areum, the way he posed in the pictures with her. He was enjoying being with her too much to be all fake. Besides Audrey wanted to believe that the man beside her friend was someone who loved her and cherished her as much as she did. “I know you do. I did have a feeling that day we met. The day you went to save her!”

Jinki was clearly uncomfortable having that conversation there so close to other agents. “She is indeed special to me.”

“Please protect her always!” Audrey said eagerly grabbing his arm. “Promise me you will.”

“Hey!” Kibum exclaimed finally approaching them and taking Audrey hand away from Jinki. “Stop pestering!”

He wasn’t jealous. He wasn’t!

Jinki smiled “It’s ok. She isn’t pestering me and I will! I don’t need to promise because you don’t even need to ask me that. I will protect her.”

“I know! I know she is safe when you are around her!”

“She would be safer if I was the one doing the mission!” Kibum snorted but Audrey wasn’t listening, her eyes already on Jinki’s phone while she analyzed a set of selcas of Jinki and Areum out near the Han river.

Kibum was so focused on Audrey that he noticed Jinki eyes on him when it was too late to pretend that he wasn’t interested at all on her.

The mischievous smile Jinki gave him made Kibum blush and he crossed his arms pretending to be annoyed when he was still burning with jealousy.

- Present Day - 

Jinki moved on the couch, a weird taste on his mouth, memories from hours ago coming back to him.

Audrey was there…Areum had the key….He opened his eyes immediately and sat on the couch his head hurting.

“Audrey?” He called frowning with the pain, silence filling the apartment.

He moved on the couch searching for his phone when he noticed that his gun was missing.

“!” Those two girls were so reckless and crazy.

He grabbed his phone and quickly called the bodyguard in charge of taking care of Areum.

The phone rang but no one answered. That wasn’t a good sign and he groaned calling SM headquarters instead.

“SHINee agent Onew here. I need information about the last time the agent in charge of Song Areum  contacted headquarters.” He his lips trying to ignore the awful taste on his mouth. “He didn’t contact for more than one hour? Who did you send as backup? NO ONE! You got to be kidding me!”

He turned off the call upset.

No backup and no contacting for more than one hour meant that he was probably dead by now. He quickly called Base not even caring that it was still early morning.

“Jjong I need help….”

“HELP?! Audrey disappears, everyone searched the whole night for her, Mi Jung feels guilty and no sign of the sad Romeo that could be helping us!” Jonghyun was clearly stressed and very upset with Jinki “The Romeo is you by the way and…”

“I know where Audrey is!”

“What? AND YOU DIDN’T CALL ME?!”

All the screaming was making Jinki head hurt even more.

“I passed out before I did!”

“What?”

Jinki had a high tolerance to alcohol and the fact that he passed out meant that he drank a high number of soju bottles.

“Listen! She came here last night and she went after Areum after stealing my gun. I was drunk and passed out. I can’t contact the agent that was with Areum...I’m worried!”

“Areum isn’t home. We checked since we are searching for Audrey… and we tried several places that both used to frequent.”

Jinki stood up to grab some hangover medicine when he found the note Audrey left him. He grabbed it reading what Audrey wrote.

“I have no idea where Audrey is and now Areum too! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!”

Jinki interrupted Jonghyun “Just calm down and stop screaming! I know where she is! Where both are! Areum went to visit her dad!” Jinki was going to follow Audrey hunch of where Areum would be hiding for now. He knelled on the floor searching under the couch for another gun he hid there. “I’m going now!”

He needed to brush his teeth and take some hangover medicine but he didn't have much time to waste.

“Sure! I’ll send the team!”

“Thank you!”

Areum didn’t sleep much that night because her old bedroom felt too small for her. It was funny how she slept worse ever since she left the mansion. It was as if the new world she lived in now was much bigger than the one from her old life.

She left her bedroom very early and decided to make breakfast for her father instead. She didn’t do something like that ever since she was little and used to help her mother in the kitchen. Jinki was the one who now had the honor of eating her breakfast and that day she wanted to use what she learned on her father.

She showered and walked into the kitchen yawning when someone knocked on the door.

The person waiting outside was a familiar face but clearly someone Areum wasn’t expecting.

She opened the door and pulled Audrey inside, both girls checking the street from the window to see if Audrey was followed.

“Are you crazy? What are you doing here?” Areum whispered.

“Me, crazy? You are the one who left the mansion!”

“I told you to forget about me!” now Areum knew how stupid that sounded.

Audrey ignored Areum and instead pulled her into a hug. “I’m glad you are ok! I was so worried!”

“You need to call someone to pick you up!” Areum said urgently “Let me call Jinki!” Of course she would call him. She could hear his voice if she did.

However Audrey grabbed Areum arm before she did it. “I know you are desperate to hear him speak to you….don’t even try to deny it but right now we need to leave!”

“What are you talking about?!”

“They will come after you!”

“They won’t. They will come after you instead!”

Audrey shook her friend “You are my family! I’m not going to lose you. I don’t care about that stupid machine, I care about you! Can’t you see that?”

“I’m not going to discuss this with you right now. Go home!” Areum said once again grabbing her phone.

“No!!” Audrey didn’t have time to say more because someone knocked on the door making both jump on their spot.

Someone knocked again and Areum slowly walked to the door. Audrey grabbed her arm shaking her head, asking her to wait.

“Jinki?” Audrey asked and Areum widened her eyes confused. Why would it be Jinki?! “Jinki is that you?”

No one answered and Audrey stepped back searching under her clothes taking a gun from there. Areum gasped covering looking at her friend. She was like a different person holding a gun, but even though her eyes were deadly and determined, her hands were shacking.

She clearly knew how to fire a weapon but never actually used it on a person.

They weren’t surprised when someone broke the glass of the door making Areum scream and walk back to grab a knife from the kitchen counter. Audrey steadied her hand with the gun and they saw two men enter the house, both armed.

“Don’t shot!” the one in the front said “No need for anyone to get hurt!” He smiled walking closer and Areum stepped forward with the knife just to be grabbed by Audrey that pulled her back.

The man took that opportunity to try and grab Audrey’s gun but she quickly pulled the trigger wounding him on his shoulder. He fell to the ground crying in pain and she panicked trying to focus on the second man that quickly advanced to them. She fired the gun several times, missing all of them because she was too nervous and the man easily grabbed the gun and fought with Audrey to take it from her hand. Areum used the knife and stabbed the man in the arm making him scream in pain and move back. She was getting good at that!

Areum pulled Audrey away and they almost collided against the guy hurt in the shoulder that was now standing up.

“Don’t hurt Lee Audrey!” Someone screamed from outside, another Dokko agent that was now entering the house. “That is the order! Kill everyone else besides the girls!”

That scared Areum and she ran to the hallway on the other side knowing that her father was probably already coming out. She wasn’t wrong and he came out with the phone in his hand.

“I don’t know who you are but I called the police already so if I were you I would run away now!” He probably thought they were mere thieves.

The last agent that wasn’t hurt fired at Areum’s dad and she only had time to pull him away, the bullet hitting him on his leg.

“NO!” She knelled beside him covering the wound with her hands. “No…nooo!” She repeated all over again hearing Audrey scream behind her, the two wounded men capturing her easily and taking her outside.

The last man stepped forward and Areum raised her teary eyes to him.

“So we meet again, Onew’s wife!”

She knew him, of course she did. He was Smoke, the same one that tried to kidnap her and Jinki in Thailand.

“Come with us and I promise I won’t kill your father! We don’t have much need of you now since we have Audrey but I have some old business to take care of with Onew! I think he won’t be happy to know that I have you!”

“You won’t kill my father if I do?” She asked even though she knew that he could easily take her if he wanted. Smoke was only playing around with her. “Please promise me you won’t hurt him!”

“I won’t! You have my word!” He said offering him his hand for her to grab.

“Don’t go Areum…” Her father begged, his voice weak.

Areum grabbed Smoke hand and he pulled her up, his fingers wrapping around her arm while he pulled her outside.

“You see, I don’t need to kill the old man…he will bleed to death anyway!”

Areum cried giving her father one last look before he pulled her in the direction of a white van where Audrey was probably inside already.

She ruined everything! It was all her fault that Audrey and she were caught.

Areum could see that now. She was selfish and irresponsible, placing herself in danger and everyone she loved because she was upset and wanted to punish them. Now Audrey was captured, her dad was wounded and Jinki was going to be blackmailed because of her.

Key, Jinki and her dad were right.

She always thought that Jinki and Audrey were the selfish ones; lying to Areum in the name of protecting her when in reality they were protecting themselves from her reaction to their actions. That was what she thought but she was wrong!

They did a mistake lying to her but she was the one who was the most selfish and childish in the end, focusing only in her pain, breaking ties with them as if pushing them away from her life would solve all the problems and mend her heart. Ignoring that, by trying to protect herself, she was giving the ones she loved the most pain, making them face danger too.

She was wrong and sadly she couldn’t turn back time even if Aeon was there beside her. 

Before you hate on Areum please hear me....she isn't perfect! Like Jinki isn't or any other of the characters are.

They commit mistakes and they will commit a lot more...

Besides Areum needs to suffer a little of the consequences of her actions to see how hard it is to live on Jinki world.

The fact that she ran away to punish Jinki and Audrey and led danger into her father's house is just what she needs to wake up...

Also we need more action and SHINee Team jumping in to kick again...XD

And of course Areum and Audrey bonding time.

Hum..the name of this chapter has to do with the letters Audrey wrote to Areum and never sent (thnak you real life Audrey for the idea! ;) )....and also that notebook her father had.

Hum ...Even though this chapter is Jinki centered and Areum too I still tried to fit a little of the others too. So I placed at least one scene with each of the SHINee members so I can make their backstory go forward too.

and that's it...im tired. this chapter is huge and i'm not sure if I managed to write well what I wanted to....specialy about Areum's action.

I hope you don't hate her after this. 

aaaah I'm always willing to discuss her behaviour with anyone who wants to...and I promise more action for the next chapter! 

And that's it... I think! Lol...I'm so scared to publish this chapter that I'm burning time!

Ok comment, subscribe, upvote and stuff...bye ~

Next one will be about Kibum...i think...hope...dont know LOL