Secret Agents Dictionary:

Heart: The vital center and source of one's being, emotions, and sensibilities.

“Sung Hi!” an irate voice called from downstairs and the young girl quickly tried to leave her bed.

She felt awful ever since the previous night. Cold shivers ran through her body, she barely could open her eyes and it was as if her head was going to explode.

“I’m coming.” Sung Hi said weakly trying to stand up but her legs almost gave in so she had to grab the small cabinet next to her bed so she wouldn’t fall.

The door of her small bedroom opened and her aunt entered the room.

“What are you doing, you lazy girl?”

Sung Hi tried to answer but she barely could speak. “I- I think I’m sick.”

“Sick?” Her aunt scoffed “You went out to party with your friends didn’t you?”

Sung-Hi barely had money to buy lunch at school let alone to go out with her friends. She didn’t even have many friends to begin with.  Seok was the only one she trusted, her cousin and only friend but he wasn’t home. He was doing an internship aboard at the moment.

“No aunt I really feel sick.”

“You only want to miss your chores don’t you?”

Every morning when she didn’t have school, Sung Hi had to go with her aunt and help her with cleaning several small buildings around the market. It was hard work but ever since her parents died that was the only way she had to pay for the food and the expenses her aunt paid for her.

“I swear I don’t. I’m really tired.” Sung Hi repeated losing her strength slowly. Her aunt didn’t seem to believe her; she ignored her pale lips and face, the sweat on her temple and the red dazed eyes and turned around mumbling a curse.

“I’ll show you what happens to lazy girls!”

Sung Hi let herself fall back on her bed, the familiar sound of her uncle belt being dragged  through the corridor, the sound she feared the most since she was little making her close her eyes.

Maybe if she fainted she wouldn’t feel the pain again.

- Present Day -

Rain fall continuously and the cemetery was empty except for a young man dressed in black, wearing an old leather jacket – one of his most prized possessions – ripped jeans and a helmet in his hand.

He didn’t have an umbrella and even though he was drenched to his bones, the rain falling from his black hair, dripping from it, he didn’t try to find a place to hide from it.

It was funny. That was how he felt when his brother died and that day the weather mocked him giving him a sunny day.

That day he wasn’t alone either. He had Sooman, he had Jinki and now, now he felt as if he was alone, more alone than ever.

Maybe that was why.

He raised his eyes to the sky.

That day he had hope but it was now slipping through his fingers since he knew his end was near.

Kill and die.

That was his solo propose since that day. In a way he hoped that something would make him want to live and there were instants like when Jinki taught him to play the piano. When he saw him laugh won one of his jokes, when he heard Jonghyun and Minho bicker , when Kibum showed him pictures of his last trip or Mi Jung hugged him without his consent…those times he dreamed to hope for more.

Mina…

He almost believed he could love.

No more.

Taemin moved his eyes back to the small stone of his brother’s grave and joined his hands closing his eyes praying one last time to him.

The last time he was there Jinki was with him. It was a thing they did annually, both of them. They met there and Jinki knew how important it was for Taemin to pray for his brother on the birthday of his death.

He never came alone though, like Jinki never wanted to visit his parents. Taemin offered to go with him a few times but he always said no and Taemin respected him. He would go when he was ready.

“I’m sorry that I came earlier this year.” Taemin told his brother. “I’m sorry I don’t have the rosary bracelet grandma gave me. Can you please tell her? I’m sure she is with you and I really don’t have time to go visit her grave. I hope she forgives me.” He smiled imagining his grandma scolding him from the afterlife.

“It’s safe, the bracelet! And with someone that truly deserves it, that will cherish it. I gave it to my brother’s wife.” Taemin cleaned his wet cheek which was pointless under that rain. “I’m sorry. I hope it doesn’t make you angry but Jinki…he is my brother too. I think you understand. You saw him already; he used to come with me. He is special.”

Taemin furrowed his brow, a big pain afflicting his chest when he remembered the way Jinki hugged him and his teary eyes. He might never see him ever again.

“I don’t blame you for what happened.” He told his brother. “Jinki made me see that and he is right. If I forget all the rage I felt all these years I realize that I never blamed you. I probably would have done the same if I was in your place and I had you and grandma to protect. I was weak back then and you couldn’t lean on me but I’m not anymore. I’ll finish it soon. I’m going to kill that man for you. It will end soon. I only wanted you to know that and…we will meet very soon.”

He closed his eyes in a silent prayer and then walked down the hill in the direction of his motorbike. His phone vibrated inside his pocket and Taemin searched for shelter under a big tree so he could check it.

“Hey you punk! Where are you? Jinki is dead worried with you. We all are! Come back! We can help you. If you don’t answer I’m going to track you down!”

“Aish!” Taemin complained but his lips moved to form a smile.

Base…no, Jonghyun. They were worried with him.

“Don’t you dare track me. I’m fine!”

Taemin answered back before turning off his phone.

Under the big tree he let his eyes wonder on his surroundings.

The grass grew and there were many more trees than before when it was his brother’s funeral.

Everything was much greener now.

For a long time Taemin thought that he was fertile too, that he could also grow and his heart would be able to be like the ones from others. Apparently that wasn’t true. His heart was black, filled with revenge.

He walked away, stepping into the rain, his skin as cold as his heart should be.

The man entered the run down building avoiding the small puddles of rain that the ruined and old roof couldn’t contain.

He crossed the hallway and hesitated for a few seconds, choosing the right side instead.

His steps were noisy but he wasn’t afraid to be heard because he moved fast and he could walk without being detected if he wanted.

He pushed one old door and peeked inside.

A couple was having a , probably a e working.

He kept walking and did the same to the second room.

A man was inside it, a rubber glove toed around his arm being used as a tourniquet, a syringe on his hand. Drugs.

He didn’t even blink his eyes and kept going. Even if he was wearing expensive clothes, even if he looked and walked like a model - well he was one – he was used to see that too much for his own taste.

The last door of the hallway was pushed. A woman was inside the small room that only had an old bed with a rather dusty and smelly mattress.

“Minho!” The woman ran to him as if his presence meant the world to her.

It did in a way since he was the only person at the moment that could guarantee Ilana’s survival.

“You came!” She exclaimed hugging a small plastic bag against her, the only thing she could take from home when she ran away.

“Of course.” Minho said eyeing the hallway “I said I would.”

“Take me out of here!” She grabbed his brown expensive coat with her dirty hands but he didn’t push her away.

Minho was weak. His parents were right. He always had the weakest of the hearts. He was never able to look away when he saw someone suffer. That was the reason he planned to signal that building to an association as soon as he left it. He was certain Ilana wasn’t the only person there that needed help.

“Please Minho.”

She begged as if it was needed and Minho grabbed her by one arm.

“Follow me.”

One day his soft heart will be his death.

One Two Three

Ten Eleven Twelve

She lost count of how many times her aunt beat her because after twelve she fainted, tears running down her sweaty face.

Sung  Hi’s wish came true so she didn’t feel the other six hits of the belt. Her aunt didn’t even notice that she fainted since she didn’t even dare to scream or beg her to stop anymore.

Her aunt picked up the belt and left the room calling her niece weak and lazy.

She only woke up hours later, hungry, feverish and in pain, so much pain that once again Sung Hi truly wished she had died with her parents.

Sometimes life is a punishment.

- 7 Years ago -

It was one of the most silent dinners ever but Taemin barely noticed eating his food like always, his mind upstairs on the horror movie he was watching previously.

Jinki was having a small talk with Jonghyun, his friend and now colleague at SM that now stayed at the mansion too due to his training and Mi Jung was once in a while stealing glances at him.

Sooman didn’t seem to notice, talking with Jinki and Jonghyun about mundane things that were on the news.

Jinki wasn’t sure how he couldn’t see it. The way Mi Jung couldn’t tear her eyes away from the man in front of her, completely forgetting about the food and how nervous that made Jonghyun. It was clear as day that they were an item.

“Mi Jung!” Sooman’s called his daughters name making her forget about Jonghyun for a few seconds. “Do you remember my old associate, the one that used to go on vacation with us to Jeju Island?”

She seemed to think for a while “I remember him yes. He had a son my age.”

“Exactly!” Sooman smiled grabbing his glass of wine and both Mi Jung and Jonghyun seemed to lose their appetite.

They weren’t idiots and even Taemin raised his eyes from his food.

“You are not a little girl anymore and I’ve been talking a lot with him. I think his son would be perfect for you.”

Mi Jung’s gaze crossed with Jonghyun’s and she was as pale as he was.

“Noona is still young.” Jinki said awkwardly since he rarely let himself get involved in matters that had to do with her. Mi Jung was after all Sooman’s real daughter.

“Yes but I want to have grandchildren and I think that now that you are working on your own clothing brand it’s time to settle down.”

“I don’t want to!”

It was a firm answer and Jonghyun felt proud of her. Sooman apparently didn’t because he placed his fork over his plate calmly but in a very scary way.

“I know I spoiled you and always let you do all you wanted. I even let you leave college because you wanted to be a clothes designer. I let you flirt with half of my man too!”

That comment made Jonghyun choke so he had to cover his mouth with the napkin while Jinki pated his back softly.

Mi Jung looked at him horrified.

“I’m not getting married!”

“It’s enough!” Sooman raised his voice slightly “I want you to leave this house too. I want you to marry and go live with your husband. He is the right person for you, someone that can protect you, someone away from this world.”

“I like this world!” she insisted “NO! I love this world!” her eyes settled on Jonghyun immediately and he uncovered his mouth trying to read behind her words.

“I can’t be away from it!” tears started to well up in her eyes and Jonghyun fought the urge to stand up and held her. Jinki grabbed his arm under the table. It wouldn’t be wise.

“I’m not going to discuss your whims with you! I spoiled you too much!”

“It’s not a whim! I truly want this dad! This time I truly want it.”

“Like you wanted a horse that you now barely ride, or to be a doctor when you were little?”

“I was a kid! A kid without a mother that rarely saw her father because he was always away on some mission! ” she stood up from her seat, tears running down her face.

Taemin was shocked watching her. He never saw her cry. Yes it was common to see Mi Jung and her father argue but she never lost it like that.”

“Of course I had to be spoiled, to ask you everything because that was the only way to make you look at me! I only wanted your love dad! Just that!”

“But I love you Mi Jung that’s why I want you to leave this house!” Sooman voice softened “I know I wasn’t the best father but I’ve always wanted the best for you. I’m trying to protect you! Death is the only thing that awaits an agent!”

“Don’t say that!” He couldn’t say it in front of Jonghyun that was now eying the table not able to face her, not in front of her that loved him, an agent. ”The best for me now is to stay!” She insisted swallowing her tears “I love it here. It’s my home and everyone I love is here!”

Jinki almost face palmed because they were making it too obvious, Mi Jung barely taking her eyes away from Jonghyun that was now looking at her like a puppy in love.

“Mi Jung…please…”

“I’m staying daddy. I’m staying here and if you dare to send me away to marry a guy I don’t want I swear I’ll run back home. You know I will!” she threatened leaving the room and Sooman mumbled an aigo while he cleaned his mouth with the napkin.

“Let her stay.” Taemin asked softly “she will get married once she sees fit and here she is more protected.”

“Right!” Jinki agreed vehemently “Besides we need her here. We need a feminine touch!”

Jonghyun stood up suddenly and all eyes were on him “I’m not hungry. I ask for permission to leave the table please.”

Sooman watched him for a few seconds as if he was evaluating him.

Jinki knew that look. He knew it from before. It was the look Sooman always gave him when he did something bad at school and his adoptive father was hoping for him to confess it, even though he knew it already.

Lee Sooman knew about it all along after all and yet he did all of that in front of Jonghyun. That was his plan all along. To see the couples reaction, to see if it was serious.

Jinki chuckled, the focus changing to him instead. His gaze met his adoptive’s father one and for a little while Jinki thought he saw some amusement in his.

“What do you think Jonghyun? Should I send my daughter away?”

“If it’s the best for her for her safety then yes.” She would kick him if she heard him say it, but even though it caused him pain, it was the best. However Jonghyun added “Although her desires should be respected too!”

“Is it? Wouldn’t you miss her if I sent her away?”

It was apparently one innocent question but Jonghyun blushed a lot “I would.”

“We all would!” Taemin helped out.

“Well since it isn’t clearly her desire to leave then I’ll let her stay.” Sooman leaned back in his chair. “You can leave Jonghyun.”

He did it right away and didn’t even look back.

Instead he ran outside and all the way to the stables where he hoped to find her. He didn’t reach it though since halfway through it, at the place he kissed her for the first time she was crying behind a tree.

She heard him arrive and turned to him not hiding her crying face at all.

“You look ugly when you cry!” He said making her purse her lips upset.

“That’s something Taemin would say!” Mi Jung complained covering her face.

“Yes…” he laughed pulling her hands away. “He decided to let you stay!”

“Thank god I was so scared!” He wanted to hug her so badly but he was afraid to pull her to his arms. He wasn’t sure he would be able to let her go.

“I really don’t want to marry someone or leave. I want to be with you.”

“Mi Jung…”

“I love you! I love you so much Jonghyun!”

He parted his lips a bit taken aback with her confession. The night he said those words to her she didn’t say anything so for a while he thought that she was bored, that he was only a distraction. However her words during dinner, the way she looked at him, the confession about her father and how lonely she probably always felt, and now those words…

“I told you that you were the dangerous kind Jonghyun. Even before we kissed! Because you make a woman want to fall in love with you and once she does she can’t stop!”

Jonghyun grabbed her by her arm and pulled her into his arms.

Someone could be watching and soon Sooman would find out about it.

He could be kicked out of SM but he didn’t care, he only wanted to hold her in his arms, to protect her from the outside world, to love her as much as she deserved.

For now, he would hold her until she stopped crying.

- Present day - 

Jinki was upset, very upset.

It was raining immensely and yet Areum came out to exercise without his consent, without telling him anything. She could get sick and that wasn’t acceptable, even more now that she was trying to get pregnant.

He searched around the property for her and after a few minutes of intense worry he ended up finding out from another agent that she was running outside - he still panicked when he didn’t know where she was.

It was funny how she chose that place to exercise. It was beside the small house near the other side of the lake, near the bridge.

It was one of his favorite places inside the property and probably she was enchanted with it as much as him. It was so her and so him since he liked to fish.

Jinki stepped under the small porch at the back entrance of the house and called her name.

She turned to him with her wet hair caught in a ponytail and smiled, a smile that quickly faded when she saw his upset expression.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked angrily avoiding the rain, holding his umbrella tighter. He really couldn’t get a cold. He was still recovering.

“Training! Getting stronger!” She showed him her arm muscles and he rolled his eyes.

“Come here! It’s raining too much and you will get sick!”

“No. I told you I would take this serious and I love running, it lets me think! Also the new agents ran all morning in the rain.”

“Being healthy is also serious! And right now you can’t get sick. If you get sick I get too.”

“What?”

“Areum we barely leave each other’s lips alone for more than five minutes!” He hoped that the idea of catching a cold and giving it to him was going to discourage her and stop with that foolish behavior. “Do you want me to get sick?”

“No.” she stopped in the middle of the rain which pissed him off even more. “Maybe we should place the baby mission in hiatus.”

Oh no! No way would he let her do that.

“!” He cursed and she widened her eyes “You are really going to make me do this!”

She raised her hands to stop him knowing what he meant but it was too late. He let go of the umbrella and step into the rain walking to her in decisive steps.

Areum reacted very quickly and ran in his direction minimizing the distance between them quickly.

“Stop Jinki! You are still recovering!”

They met halfway and Jinki bended forward, grabbed her by her hips and swiftly pulled her up and into his arms, throwing her over his shoulder as if she was only a bag and not heavy at all.

“Jinki!” Areum screamed while he carried her back to the small roof – “you will get hurt. You still have so many wounds, stop!”

“Stop moving then and obey me when I tell you to not do dangerous things!”

He placed her safely under the porch and she mumbled embarrassed “Its only rain though.”

“No, it’s you getting wet and getting sick. It’s not necessary. You can train somewhere else!”

“I’m sorry.” He wasn’t paying attention to her anymore instead Jinki grabbed her hand in his.

“I have something to show you. Come with me.”

She let him guide her and Jinki entered the code of the door behind them and both entered the building.

It was a small kitchen with white furniture decorated in a vintage romantic way and she smiled admiring it. It didn’t look like it was used and besides the furniture it didn’t have much more.

“Where are we?”

He ignored her question and instead pulled her into the next room, a cozy warm living room with blue couches and vibrant pink and purple pillows.

“I love the decoration.”

He grinned with her observation and then pulled her in the direction of the spiral stairway in dark wood. It had Christmas lights around the handrail all the way to the top and even though they weren’t on, Areum could imagine how pretty it would look.

“I love the idea! So pretty!”

“I know. You saw it once in a magazine!” He remarked climbing the stairs waiting patiently for her.

On the upper floor he entered the first room immediately and she followed him as if she was Alice following the rabbit to wonderland.

Jinki stopped in the middle of the room and watched her with a smile, delighted that he wasn’t wrong and that that room made her speechless.

The walls were all covered with bookcases that unfortunately were empty. on one side of the room was a big window with view to the woods, two pillows were on a bench next to it so a person could sit and read comfortably. On the other side was a white desk with a vintage chair padded with black fabric, the desk turned to a big window with view to the lake.

“This is like a writer’s dream.” She mumbled walking slowly to the desk and missing the way he laughed to himself. He knew. He knew all that and how much she would love every little thing he showed to her.

Areum turned around to face him and was surprised when he picked her up and sat her over the desk, kissing her softly.

She massaged the muscles of his chest softly not to hurt him while he kissed her and he swiftly pulled her t-shirt over her head complaining that her skin was too cold and sticky because of the rain.

“What are you doing?” She asked eyeing the door “someone might come in!”

“The house is deserted and no one knows the pass code besides me and you.”

She pouted slightly “ I don’t know the passcode.”

“it’s your birthday.” He answered while he kissed her neck.

Areum caressed his back slowly thinking about what he said and that house. “You mean this house is yours?”

He moved back and placed his hands on each side of her. “Yes. My father gave one to each of us. Mi Jung's is the one where she lives now. Mine is this one and Taemin’s one is completely empty. Mine would be too if I haven’t met you.”

“Everything is decorated like I like.”

“Because I picked up the things you like, things you saw in magazines or when we went shopping. I never cared much about this house or thought about living here, until I met you.“ he smiled “I always doubted that I would be able to bring you here and live with you here but I never lost hope.”

“You are perfect.” She kissed him quickly “So it’s our house.”

“Yes we can move in when you want.”

“We have time.” She answered. For now she preferred to stay closer to Audrey in the main house.

Areum caressed his face and down his chest pulling at his white shirt. He smirked when she pulled it up and over his head and he wrapped his arms around her taking off her sports bra.

“Are we going to do it here?” She asked sweetly running her fingers over the muscles of his arm.

“Yes. Why? Don’t want to?”

She shook her head smiling. That was refreshing since they did it on their bed all the time. She loved the idea of being a little naughtier and wrapped her arms around his neck kissing him passionately.

Jinki grabbed her by her legs and pulled her closer to the edge of the table, never breaking the kiss. He fought to take off her leggings and she laughed helping him out, both pulling the thin fabric over her wet skin.

“You are drenched!” He complained raising his eyes to her. She took the elastic band of her hair off and let her wet hair fall on her back making him even more upset.

“You are wet too. Look at this!” Areum combed his damp hair with her fingers but he interrupted her work by pulling her against him, kissing her collarbones and down to her chest.

She melted in his arms barely moving, afraid to touch him and hurt him and end up ruining the moment.

They kissed for a while and even though the house was cold and her wet hair was falling on her back, Areum wasn’t cold at all. His fingers caressed every inch of her skin, taking the coldness away with them while his lips on hers did the rest.

He ran his fingers on her hair and trailed down from her lips to her chin and neck and further down.

Areum giggled when he kissed her , alternating between both of them, caressing her lower back while he focused all of his attentions on her s. She watched him in a passionate daze but soon all those caresses where taking her near the edge. She pulled at his pants impatiently trying to it which was a hard task when she couldn’t see anything, thanks to his constant kisses all over her chest and up to her lips.

“Stop for a second!” She complained making him chuckle and Jinki stood still and even raised his arms so she had a better view.  It was a beautiful view since she could see the big bulge on his pants. Areum ignored his teasing smile and ed his pants pulling them down the best she could.

He helped her pulling them further down and then hooked his fingers on the elastic of her .

“Wait…” She asked again slipping her hand under his underwear making him moan when her cold fingers touched his .

“I don’t think I need any of that.” He informed her and she giggled because it was very clear even with him wearing underwear “But I like it.”

“I know you do!” She joined her forehead with his before kissing him, her tongue touching his lips that he parted to kiss her deeper while she ed him slowly.

“I like everything you do.” He brushed her wet hair away from her face and she grabbed his hands in hers.

“I like everything you do too. I think we are at our best when we are together.” She raised her from the table and with his help pulled her down her legs. As soon as the piece of fabric hit the floor she wrapped her legs around his waist trying to end the distance between their lower bodies, her impatient fingers pulling at his underwear.

He cupped her face kissing her before he pulled her lower body against his, guiding his inside her which made her gasp.

He kissed her continuously while both moved slowly and normally he was the one searching for one of her hands to hold but this time she did it, intertwining her fingers with his.

He liked the gesture but somehow that wasn’t practical at the moment so he tried to take his hand away.

“I said I wouldn’t let go.” she complained cutely which made him sigh and stop his movements.

“I absolutely love it but I’m trying to have with you and this...” he raised their hands “Is not helping.

“Oh! Right! After then!”

He laughed with her cuteness and she released his hand. Immediately Jinki placed it on her back and resumed his s, using his hand to keep her in place. Areum hugged him, closing her eyes, kissing his neck softly while they made love.

It was slow at first, so slow to the point that it was even painful but the pace increased followed by the intensity of the s and soon her innocent kisses on his neck and shoulders become love bites that made him groan of pleasure every time.

He didn’t last long, coming inside her, one of his hands on her back the other over the table for support while he moved into her in slower and yet more intense s that made the desk move slightly while Areum hold on onto him, her eyes on his expression of pleasure. He grunted one last time, noticing her gaze on him but tried not to stop, letting his last and at the same time making her come too.

They stayed in each other’s arms kissing and caressing each other, his length still inside her until she started shivering and he had to step back and give her her clothes to help her get dressed. He offered her his coat and they  dressed with no rush, giggling, and as soon as Areum was dressed she sat beside the other window admiring the trees outside.

“It isn’t raining anymore.” He joined her still buttoning his pants and she leaned her head against his shoulder, grabbing his hand firmly. Now it was the right time to do it.

“Having like this can be dangerous.”

He didn’t understand what she meant and frowned so Areum felt the need to explain.

“I mean letting your fantasies go wild.”

“This was one of your fantasies? We had over a desk before though.”

“No. I mean inside a library. Well it’s not exactly a real library. It doesn’t even have books yet but…feels like one.”

He chuckled caressing the back of her neck “Being with you is always dangerous. Meeting you. Falling in love with you. Marrying you. I must be really insane.”

“Crazy for me!” She said wrapping her arms around his neck “Well it’s dangerous for me too. My husband is even cooler than James Bond!”

He smiled and then pulled her up from the seat with him. “There is another place I want to show you.”

She raised her finger and touched her nose thinking “The bedroom!”

“Bingo!”

The last room of the hallway was the main bedroom. It was a small one like the rest of the other rooms and yet it was adorable. It had a huge closet fitting of a princess, a window with view for the lake and a big bed next to the wall. It only had a mattress and a pillow over it but it was decorated with Christmas lights around it already and small stars falling from the ceiling over it.

It was all so romantic and cute that she knew that he picked it up just for her.

“For a person that was so busy living a double life you had a lot of time to go shopping and decorate.”

“Well…When I felt guilty for lying to you I would do it.”

Areum ignored the comment. That was in the past, there were no more secrets now.

“Let’s try it out!” She sang lying over the mattress and Jinki joined her, lying by her side, watching her raise her hands in the air to touch the stars literally. “The left me lazy.”

He raised his hand to touch the same star as she did and grab her hand in his playing with her. “Me too. let’s stay here for a little bit.”

He pushed her hand away playfully and she did the same to his, both starting a small argument over the star until the rosary on her wrist, the same one Taemin gave to her got stuck in his shirt.

Jinki panicked a little afraid it would broke and Areum sat on the bed and carefully released the precious object.

Silence fell over them with Jinki’s eyes on the bracelet instead and Areum felt bad for it.

Lately they were living together as if they were on an honeymoon. They would spend almost all the time together either making love, talking or eating. And even though Jinki was smiling often he couldn’t hide from her that he was worried and sad too. Taemin promised to send him a text every day and he was fulfilling it but still it wasn’t enough and both knew those signs of life would end soon.

“I’m sorry.” She said holding the arm with the bracelet against her chest. “I’ll try to be more careful and protect it properly.”

“No. It’s not your fault.”

“I never realized how important Taemin is to you. “ She leaned over Jinki’s chest and he groaned with the pain. Her sorrowful eyes moved to him and he helped her lay down in a way she wouldn’t hurt him and still be  as close to him as possible. “Won’t he be back?” she asked again “Where did he go?”

“When Taemin was little his brother was killed in front of his eyes.”

“That’s awful!” And she thought she had a though childhood. Audrey, Taemin…they suffered so much.

“He saw the killer and swore to get his revenge someday.”

“Revenge…” She hated the word.

“He found him now however there are some complications.”

“What complications?” she ran her fingers over the fabric of his shirt that wasn’t thick enough to hide his muscles that she loved.

“He is the father of the girl he likes.”

Areum raised her head from his chest. “He can’t do it!” She sat on the bed with a determined expression “Imagine it. It’s as if you found out that my dad was the one who killed your parents. If you killed my father I would never forgive you! Taemin can’t do it. He must give up on his revenge!”

He sat up too, doing it so quickly that his chest hurt. “No! He must do it! Imagine that Audrey died and the ones who killed her were in front of you. That you could make that person pay from what they did to your sister…”

She shook her head “No. Of course I would hate them but nothing would make me hurt another person I love, nothing would bring Audrey back!”

“You don’t get it!”

“I DO!” She kneeled on the bed upset “Hate is never the answer Jinki. I get that he is upset about what happened to his brother but…”

“Upset?” Jinki scoffed making her frown “You will never get it, what it means to lose someone you love to…”

“My mother died when I was little. Don’t say I don’t understand.” She moved to the side of the bed and Jinki ran a hand on his hair, his voice softening. The last thing he wanted was to fight with her.

“It’s different and you know that.”

“It’s still an unfair death!” She cleaned her eyes and he touched her shoulder feeling sorry.

“And I lost Audrey too. Well I thought I did and you…a few days ago I thought you died too.”

“Areum I’m sorry! But imagine if I was killed by Smoke last time. Wouldn’t you want to kill him?”

“Yes I would, but if that meant losing you again or Audrey or my dad then I wouldn’t. What is the point of getting revenge when it brings only more pain? It won’t bring you back at all!”

Jinki didn’t say anything.

“If we are having this baby you have to promise me that I and it will always be first. First over SM, first over your revenge, first over anything…”

He didn’t hesitate and back hugged her closing his eyes “I promise!”

There wasn’t anything more important to him than family.

“I lost my family once I’m not losing it again.”

She turned around and kissed his cheek.

“I hope Taemin realizes that too. That he can’t lose his new family, that he must come back. The living are more important than the dead ones. He should focus on the ones that love him here, in this world, in the present!”

Without noticing she touched the rosary which was something Taemin did often and that made Jinki smile.

“Let’s take a nap. I’m suddenly very tired!” He pushed her down with him over his chest. The weight of her body was hurting him but he didn’t say anything and even when she tried to move he didn’t let her.

He pushed her head against his chest and she groaned cutely trying to move again.

"We need to take off this wet clothes!"

“Just for a few minutes! Stay still!"

Areum obeyed making him smile and she tried to relax, listening to his heartbeat, closing her eyes.

Everyone she loved was safe but even though she didn’t know Taemin well she knew how important he was to Jinki so she couldn’t help but worry.

He couldn’t  lose another special person.

Sung Hi missed the morning classes because she couldn’t bear to sit. The pain she felt on her back was too much. Her wounds were too fresh and none of the ointments she was using were helping much.

Actually her wounds were worse day by day due to the hot weather and the heavy clothing she had to wear to cover them. Sweating like she did all day because of the weather and the heavy work she did for her aunt was probably the main reason she felt as if her blood was burning, making her boil from inside.

That week she almost dared to call Seok without her aunt knowing but what could he do to help her? Nothing.

He managed to escape that house and a cry for help would only make him fall back into it and she didn’t want that at all.

Sung Hi dragged herself inside the hallway of her school until she went against a well-dressed man.

He seemed rich and important followed by two scary looking suited men.

“I’m really sorry!”  she bowed avoiding the eyes of the man until he placed his hands on her shoulders.

“Are you ok? You seem sick.”

He was older than her, had small dark eyes and a gentle voice but what she remembered the most from that first encounter was how he truly seemed worried with her. No one ever showed any special interest in her before besides Seok, and here was a man she barely knew doing it.

“You should go to the infirmary!” He suggested observing the small droplets of sweat on her temple “You seem to have a fever.”

“No.” She quivered moving away from his hold “No. I can never…They would fi…”She swallowed her words. No one could find out about her wounds. Her aunt would truly kill her. Worse, she would kick her out and she would never be able to see Seok again. She would become a useless beggar like her mother was. She would never have the sad life her mother had before she died. Sung Hi preferred to die then.

Sung Hi quickly left running away from the gentle man.

Sooman watched her for a while knowing quite well that her fever wasn’t a natural thing. There was something else making that young lady sick. He knew what it meant to have a secret, to have to hide something from everyone around you.

He turned to one of his bodyguards “Find out everything about that girl for me.”

- Present Day - 

Mina wasn’t surprised to see Taemin in front of her once she woke up.

She immediately sat on her bed happy to see him but it all shattered because the man in front of her wasn’t the Taemin she loved.

His expression was solemn and she knew he was there to say goodbye.

Mina had no idea where he was going but the pain in his eyes that betrayed the lack of emotion on his face showed her that wherever he was going she wouldn’t be able to follow him.

“I’m being discharged. I’m going home and my brother too.”

“That’s good.” He knew already.

“Something is wrong. Tell me.”

“I wish things could have been different, that you wouldn’t end up hating me but this is how it ends.”

“Hate you? Why would I hate you Taemin? How does it end? What do you mean?”

He closed his eyes briefly and looked away. He couldn’t bear to look at her, at her beautiful eyes that he loved so much before and now were a copy of her father’s, at the lips he kissed before, the same ones that probably kissed her father’s cheek so many times before.

She was the daughter of that man. He should hate her since his blood runs in her veins and yet he didn’t at all. He couldn’t imagine himself hurting her, inflicting any kind of pain to her and yet he had to. If his revenge were to be perfect he would have killed there, at that precise moment and let her body for his father to find her.

But he couldn’t do it. He could never do it.

“Taemin talk with me.”

She was beautiful, her eyes were always bright and her lips were soft and perfect.

It wasn’t her fault she was his daughter, it wasn’t his fault he fell for her.

“Don’t you have a song for goodbyes? “ He asked making her bit her lower lip in pain.

“I don’t want to say goodbye to you!” She answered grasping the covers of her bed “I’m scared Taemin! You never lied to me. If you say I am going to hate you then…I probably will.”

He stepped closer to the bed and she didn’t move following him with her gaze.

“I told you I would end up hurting you! I told you when we met!” He warned her and yet she didn’t listen to him, pushing him to accept her bubbly existence in his life and he did. He gave in to her.

“I don’t care. Everything, every moment was worth it.”

Her words made him falter. He could give up. He could tell her the truth, take her and her brother and run away, forget about his revenge.

But he promised. It was his brother’s memory that was at stake.

Taemin placed his hand on her bed and she felt the mattress gave in to his weight when he kneeled on the bed softly and sat beside her. He wasn’t touching her and yet she was already melting under his gaze, with his closer presence.

Like a moth attracted to a flame, to dangerous mysterious Taemin.

“Goodbye Mina.” He said the words and before she could assimilate them he leaned forward and kissed her.

A short sweet kiss, their last one, so different from the intense passionate ones they shared before.

She felt the mattress move again and before he could walk away she grasped his arm.

“Will I ever see you again? Please!”

She desperately searched his eyes for an answer but he didn’t have the one she wanted.

“You won’t want to see me again after I do what I have to do.”

“I will. I’m certain I will. When you love someone, even if that person breaks a part of you, you still want to see him. You think about that person every day.”

“I’ll think about you every day.”

It was a confession, the best one that could come from his lips at the time and yet she wanted more.

“It’s the last time we will see each other Taemin. Can’t you put it down in words? Can’t you just say that you love me? That I, silly Mina that you always saw as a nonsense made your heart flutter?” She smiled and yet her eyes were sad and humid.

She couldn’t cry because he wouldn’t be able to take it. Taemin tried to move but his body wasn’t obeying to him and he couldn’t look away from her.

“I kissed you…” That should be enough to show her what he felt and yet until the very last moment she was making him lose his ground, demanding more and more from him.

“I love you Taemin!” Her words were making his mind a bigger mess than it already was. His heart was ordering him to do something that his brain didn’t want. “I don’t understand what you are trying to tell me, and I’m sure nothing in this world will make me hate you.”

He didn’t answer because he already risked too much coming to the hospital to see her for the last time.

He probably shouldn’t have done it but she didn’t leave his mind one second ever since he found out about the truth.

“You aren’t going to say anything?” she asked chocking on her tears laughing bitterly as if she wasn’t crying. “Is it because of who I am? Because I’m the daughter of a criminal?”

He stiffened with her words.

“Yes, I’m not an idiot. I know what my father does; I’ve known it for years. I had to live with it ever since I was little. Is that the reason you don’t want to be with me anymore? Is it me?”

“No. It’s me!” That could have been funny if they weren’t in that sad situation.

“Guys always say that!” She answered playing with the covers of her bed.

It was him, all him. He wouldn’t have cared if her father was a normal criminal but he wasn’t. He was connected to his past, to his painful memories, the person who killed his brother.

“I’m not really going to give up.” She said cleaning her wet cheek using the sleeve of her purple pajama “I want you and I know you want me too. If you didn’t you wouldn’t be here, you wouldn’t have kissed me and you wouldn’t still be talking with me. You don’t want to leave Lee Taemin. You love me!”

“I love you, Mina.” His words made her raise her eyes to him slightly open as if she didn’t believe that he was truly saying it to her. She wasn’t expecting him to give in. “I’ve never said these words to anyone so I hope you believe them.”

She smiled sadly and he stood up barely looking at her as if he was afraid to change his mind.

“I’ll find you Lee Taemin.” He turned slightly to see her but didn’t say anything. She was used to it, to see only a side of him so she didn’t mind “You keep running away from me but I will find you. I always do!”

He turned around and walked to the window that was open, the place from where he entered. Mina held her breath in and rose from the bed just when he climbed the window and looked at her one last time, his black hair moving with the wind.

She clutched her chest stunned with that vision.

Lee Taemin was like a character from an anime, he couldn’t be real.

“I have a song for goodbyes I wish I could have played it for you. River flows in you…”

With no more words he jumped and she ran to the window and peeked outside. He was nowhere in sight and she widened her eyes thinking she imagined the whole meeting. A soft sound of a rope hitting the wall on her right side made her look up.

Breathing out of relief she saw him grabbing a rope, climbing the hospital wall as if it was nothing.

Mina watched him until he disappeared on the roof of the hospital and then she stepped back into her empty cold hospital bedroom.

In her bed, beside the place she was sleeping was something she didn’t notice before, a cute pillow with a black cat, the same one she asked Taemin when she stayed at his apartment.

- Italy, Parma, Present Day -

The beautiful Korean woman walked around the park admiring the big lake in the middle of it. Ducks were swimming in it with no worries and she envied them.

Nana raised the camera to take pictures before she left the garden. That morning, as soon as she arrived she decided to visit the main plaza of Parma and act like a tourist for a change.

It felt good to pretend to be someone. But at the same time she felt bitter because she shouldn’t be pretending, she should be herself, she should feel free and yet she didn’t.

She knew why though. She had pending matters. She had Minho….

Her damn feelings and her damn heart were the solo reason that made her so uneasy, also the reason she was there in Italy. His parents lived there somewhere.

Minho told her several times how they used to travel around Europe and end up living in Italy, buying a small villa. She had no idea in which city they lived and she choose Parma randomly pointing at a map of Italy.

If somehow she found a connection with Minho there then she would know it was destiny. It would be as if they met for the first time and not because she was ordered to sleep with him, but because life said so.

She stopped outside the garden and like always walked to a small booth selling magazines.

There he was. She had that magazine already, probably five or six of them and yet she couldn’t stop herself from buying it again.

She paid for it and walked away, leafing through the famous fashion magazine until she found the several pictures with Japanese and Korean models. Minho was in it wearing casual clothes that would look mundane on another person but not on him.

She smiled.

Her prince.

He would always be her prince, the only one that made her feel like a woman.

Nana hugged the magazine against her chest and sighed admiring the beautiful view around her.

Small streets with old buildings, trees filling the streets with green everywhere and a random street with colorful buildings. She giggled appreciating it as if it was a sudden rainbow in the middle of the similar older ones.

From the corner of her eye she saw a couple walking. The man was carrying a small kid on his shoulders and speaking in a language she couldn’t recognize.

It was a beautiful view and she couldn’t stop but imagining that tall man being Minho, carrying his son with him.

Minho always mentioned that he wanted to have kids, to have a family with her, teach his kid to play soccer.

His words pained her back then as much as they did now.

She could never be that person, the one that could give him that happiness. Suddenly holding that magazine didn’t seem enough. She moved her eyes to it, to the page she was on, the page with his picture.

Nana was distracted but not enough to notice from the corner of her eyes a small kid approaching the couple. He passed by them brushing against the man and then started running when he crossed the corner.

A pickpocket.

She wasn’t a normal woman, a normal tourist. She was a spy before and even though the couple didn’t notice when the kid stole the wallet she did. The kid was a newbie after all.

She almost walked away but Minho wouldn’t have. He had a good heart and he would never walk away if he saw some wrong doing, if he saw a kid like the ones from the orphanage he helped at, doing something wrong. He would have followed the kid, scolded him and give the wallet back to its owner.

“Aish!” He was her weakness, he was her heart.

Nana forgot about the magazine and placed it over a bench and ran after the kid holding her straw hat so it wouldn’t fly away.

The kid was fast but he was reckless and stopped running after a while so she could see him at the end of the one way street, or so she thought.

He sneaked inside a wall of an old run down building and Nana hesitated before following him. She had no weapons or way to defend herself but still she did it.

She silently walked in the empty room but stopped when she heard movement outside.

Nana peeked to see the boy coming out from a window and into an empty court in the middle of the buildings. She followed after him regretting immediately what she was doing and managed to grab the boy that stopped before crossing the corner and enter another building.

He looked at her with fear and then covered his lips with a finger.

She blinked her eyes and took the wallet from his hand “This is not yours!”

She used English hoping that he would understand. The boy didn’t even care and ran away in the direction they both came from.

Nana watched him confused holding the wallet in her hand and then peeked behind the building at what made the kid scared.

There were two black cars parked and someone came out from the building wearing a suit. It looked like a meeting and there were several armed man on both sides.

But that wasn’t what scared Nana, what scared her was the fact that they were all Korean, that one of them was someone she saw before, someone with whom she slept before when she worked for The Union.

Yoon Kyung Min. A complete idiot that controlled a small drug business, loved to be controlled in bed – a lousy lover though – and liked to pretend he was strong and smart.

She hid behind the building clutching her chest.

Fate.

She heard back in Korea that he was the new leader of The Union, that he wanted to revive it that he was searching for the killer of the previous leader. He was searching for her and even though she was far away from Seoul he managed to find her. How?!

“Did the business go well?” He asked the other man that seemed to have arrived in one of those cars.

“Perfect and I have news for you. News that might make you go back to Seoul.”

Nana tried not to move or even breathe, she was good at that. She did it for years. Spy on others was her specialty.

“Did you find him? The killer of Choi Jihun?”

She peeked at them again not able to control her curiosity. So they weren’t after her after all and he was probably there for another reason. They didn’t even know she was the one who killed him.

“I did.” the man that had his back to her said and Nana’s heartbeat accelerated.

“It was Choi Minho.”

Minho?! Nana almost gasped and she hid better trying to control her emotions. Minho did nothing. She did everything she could to be the killer not only because she hated the man but also because she was the one who had to do it. Why did they think Minho did it?

“I caught a friend of his…an ex e. She sang like a bird.”

“Interesting!” Kyung Min’s voice sent a shiver down her spine “So if I get his head I get The Union members respect?”

“For sure sir but there is a problem.”

“Problem?”

“This Choi Minho is a member of SM, a member of a very dangerous group. It’s going to be hard to catch him outside alone.”

“What group?”

“SHINee….” The name seemed to silence everyone as if it was a forbidden name for all those criminals “The same team with Ace.”

“Oh Ace. I’ve heard of him. Deadly and fast.”

“Yes sir.”

“It’s ok.” Kyung Min said “There is always a way to make the rats leave their hideouts. We just need to use some cheese to attract him.”

“His family is here in Italy but they are well protected.”

Nana bit her lower lip.  No. Not his parents. Minho would never stay still if they tried to hurt them.

“Hum…so what other weak points does this man have?”

“He has a soft heart sir, he volunteers at an orphanage.”

“Oh really?” Kyung Min laughed and Nana knew what that meant, what he would say next. “What a sweet man. Many accidents happen in these old orphanages…I bet that if we kill one by one he will come to us and fast.”

“Seems like you have a plan, sir.”

“Yes find out about where he volunteers for me so we can send him a warning.”

Nana didn’t listen to the rest, she was already running back crossing the rainbow street as fast as she could, her straw hat flew but she didn’t stop. She found the couple immediately, eating an ice cream and she quickly gave the man his wallet making him look at her confused and then she passed by the bench where she placed her magazine without stopping.

She needed to call a taxi so she could go back to the airport.

Minho needed her now; he needed to know about the tragedy that was falling over him. It was destiny after all.

They were linked.

She saved him, he saved her and now it was her turn again.

She didn’t know why they thought Minho was the killer when she did it but she had an idea.

He always wanted to protect her and even if it was for her or for someone he cared for, he lied.

Unknowingly to him he was placing someone innocent he cared for in danger too.

If one of those kids died she would never forgive herself and worse…he would never forgive himself.

Sung Hi = Director Oh

(Sun Hi memories = Director Oh memories)

This is part one of Heart. Tomorrow I'll post part two.

It was suposed to be only one chapter but it had over 40 pages so XD

Anyway. They both are a bit boring. No action and looots of love scenes so im sorry. I needed this though.

Action will be back on chapter 21. 

See you tomorrow....