Ch.12

We settled in the SUV that Mr. Jung owned. He only used it for family outings or big shopping. Today it was my mom's turn to drive this beauty. Jaewon seated himself in the back so I could sit beside my mom at the front, giving me the most dangerous seat. 

"Door," mom suddenly mumbled, making me turn to her as I closed my door. "Seat," she reached under the seat and grabbed the handle to move the seat back and forth. "No," she shook her head and reached back down again. She had to move it three times back and forward to finally adjust it.

I was looking at her dumbfounded, my upper lip pulled up at the side. I checked Jaewon at the backseat and he also was gaping at my mom. He held his phone in his hands, but was as if frozen while watching my mom with wide confused eyes. 

"Mirrors," she started adjusting the side mirrors. She smacked her lips together  and smiled with a toothy grin. "Seat belt" she said and turned to pull on the black fabric. She turned to me suddenly and signaled with her eyes. "Seat belts, boys" she repeated and I immediately started fetching the seat belt, afraid for my life all of a sudden. She sure could drive her small Hyundai, but a Jaguar SUV was a lot more expensive to break and lot more complicated to work with. Plus seating my mom behind the steering wheel was a free ticket to the funeral. "Alright..." she took an encouraging breath and placed her palms on the steering wheel, her fingers slowly curling around it. "Start," she mumbled again, making my head turn to her again. Why was she talking to herself? She pushed the button at the dashboard and the silent engine suddenly started to nicely purr. I heard Jaewon give out a sigh of relief, yet I just started to be more scared. "Okay, boys, show time!" mom announced and leaned closer to the steering wheel, her back a half meter away from the seat and her elbows almost leaning against the steering wheel. "Clutch," she mumbled. Nothing happened. She pulled back a little. "Clutch?" she stepped on the pedal but the car haven't budged. She bit her lip. 

"This car is fully automatic. Just step on the gas pedal... And maybe let go of the emergency brake" Jaewon instructed from the backseat. 

"Oh," mom nodded and took a double handed hold of the emergency brake as she slowly lowered it and swiftly grabbed the steering wheel again. "Gas," she whispered and the car slowly started to move forward. She smiled wholeheartedly, excited about her success. I rolled my eyes and leaned back against the seat, silently praying for my sweet life. "Signal to the right" she carried on instructing herself on every single action she had to made. Just amazing!

The ten minutes long road seemed to last at least an hour. My mom was talking to herself, praising, cussing, instructing, guiding herself for the whole road, making both me and Jaewon facepalm in agony. She parked the car in the parking house of the shopping center and suddenly everyone was looking at us. It's not like we looked anyhow rich, especially in my ripped jeans, although the Jaguar was not a cheap car, that's for sure. And that might be the reason of the unwanted attention.

"Okay boys... The first on the list is... undies" mom said while looking on a piece of paper that she was holding along with the purse. 

"Mom!" I whined and the top of my lungs, gripping her elbow to shut her up. It was embarrassing very much. "No one uses that word anymore." I said and looked behind at Jaewon, whose smile was saying all about holding back that one smuggy, mocking grin.

"It's not fetch anymore? Oh snap!" mom covered her lips, looking at me in horror, totally petrified after I told her that. I rolled my eyes.

"Stop being so dramatic. And don't watch Mean Girls ever again" I said and strolled away forward, not wanting to be seen beside this crazy woman.

"You let him control you too much, ma'am" Jaewon said behind me with a snicker and followed me with long steady steps.

Today was the day for our every year big shopping before summer. Mom had this tradition going of since forever and she wanted Jaewon to join us and get used to it. It was like a big shopping. We shopped for clothing, food, furniture and unimportant stuff that we actually may have never used. I used these opportunities to buy shoes, trainers and sneakers, caps and sweatpants, later realizing that I wasted all the money on things that I already have and I have to walk in two different colored socks. Like, for example, today.

I ended up carrying mom's shopping bags. She bought a lot. But I won't complain, she bought me three pairs of shoes. Jaewon was following us close behind. He bought himself a some snapbacks, a pair of expensive sneakers, two jackets and a couple of simple shirts. I guess every teenager could easily get used to my mom's shopping fevers. 

Mom decided to take us to rest in a cafe. She wanted us to eat lunch, but we both refused with Jaewon. That wasn't a surprise, we ate a bunch of junk food on the way, but mom hasn't touched a thing. She was always looking around, like she was waiting for someone to jump on her or something.

She ordered a cup of sparkling water with lemon. Jaewon and I shared a curious gaze at each other and then at mom. She was behaving weird and it was obvious even to Jaewon.

"Mom?"

"Hm?" she almost jumped as my voice snapped her back out of her thoughts.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, baby" she smiled at me with difficulty and took a hold of her glass and took a quick sip. It wasn't her usual smile. It was one of her nervous hurried smiles. 

"You can't lie to me, you know that?" I stated and looked at her from under my eyelashes, trying to convince her that I know, that's something's not right. She looked at me with big eyes, and lowered her glass with a sigh.

"I know... I know..." she sighed once again and looked at me with a pitiful smile. "I'm nervous. Jaewon's father asked me to spend as much money on you as you need because... Because he wants your blessings" she said and looked over at Jaewon, who suddenly became more interested in the subject.

"What blessings?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows in curiosity. His eyes shifted to me and back at my mom, dumbfounded. I haven't had a clue.

"Your father asked me to marry him, Jaewon. Officially" mom proclaimed with a small, scared voice.

"What?" we both gasped in union with Jaewon. 

I couldn't concentrate anymore. So she is really going to get married to this guy.

What if they stop liking each other? What if they find a new attraction just like they found each other? What if I don't want to be his son? What if I don't want to be a Jung? What if I don't want Jaewon to be my brother...

The door of my room opened slowly. It was the middle of the night, around 11 pm. I couldn't see the person's face, but I could hear a light psst and a head peek in. I didn't respond. The person walked inside, creeping, closing the door after himself gently and silently. He walked closer to my bed and that was when I decided to wake up. I sat up on my bed and wanted to snap at the person by turning on the lamp and sending him away.

When the light rose in the room, I could see Jaewon's surprised face blinking at me. He looked like he was about to grab me and keep me from shouting at him.

"Did I wake you up?" he whispered.

"What the hell man?" I whispered aggressively at him with a glare. "We have school tomorrow!"

"I know, ," Jaewon rolled his eyes and his soft, surprised expression vanished without a trace. "Scoot over."

"What?"

"Scoot, damnit!" he whispered aggressively as well and lifted up my blanket, slipping in inside my bed. I slid all the way to the wall and squished myself on it, just to give Jaewon as much space as he needed. "I'm not gonna bite you," he said as he was looking at me, pitying my position. I was almost hugging the wall.

"I know, you wouldn't dare to do so" I said, clearing my throat and regaining my confidence to push myself away from the wall. "What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep," he said and puffed out some air. He put his hands under his head, elbows sticking high in the air. "There is so much going on at the same time, don't you think?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well... Look at it from my perspective. I just broke up with the girl of my dreams, just to date a crazy . My dad is remarrying your mom. I'm gonna have a new family, a new mother, a little brother and new grandparents. I'm going to graduate soon and I haven't studied proberly since my first years here. My friends just gave up on me, because I'm being an . Could it be even more messed up?" he said and his dark orbs just rolled over to look at me in the barely lit room. 

"It could still be worse," I shrugged my shoulders, leaning on my elbow, turned to him. "Listen, if there is anything I can help you with just tell me-"

"If you could, Samuel... It's not that simple. How could you anyway? Do you have millions and a one way ticket to somewhere away from here?" he looked me dead serious in the eyes, making chills run down my spine. "You probably don't."

"No, I don't. But I'm still a person in your... family now, which means we should help each other out. I would do my best to-"

"To what? To help me? Read me a bedtime story and tell me that everything will be okay once the sun is up again. I don't believe in fairy tales, Samuel, it's too late now" he chuckled darkly, his words composed of everything but satisfaction. He was not pleased with the idea of our parents getting married apparently.

"Yeah, but... Maybe if you get used to it, it will get better" I said in a voice, gentle as possible.

"Used to it? How can I? It all happened so fast and all at the same time" he said with an unbelievable huff, that summarized all of his displeased feelings and hardships. What was going on with him. "Do you think I had the time to prepare myself to have a new mother and a brother? Jesus, I haven't had the time to even realize that my dad was seeing your mother!" he snickered sarcastically and his side, supporting his head in his palm, while he was gesturing with his other hand. "I had no idea he was seeing anyone," he said and his index finger started jutting into the mattress of my new bed.

"I had no idea either. Mom's never used to tell me much about her love life. I knew about janitor from the housing complex where my grands live. I knew she had a thing for the car guy that used to fix grandpa's car. But all those were only flirts."

"Or one night stand" he snorted.

"Hey! That's my mom you're talking about. You better watch your mouth" I pointed a threatening finger at Jaewon who just rolled his eyes ignorantly.

"Are you that innocent or just plain stupid?" he scoffed. "She's an adult, full grown woman, that has already a child. Do you think she could possibly go without any y time? Puh-lease" he pulled a high pitched howl until I smacked his chest to keep him quieter. 

"Perhaps you're right. PERHAPS! But that doesn't mean she was around" I warned him again and glared at him.

"I haven't mentioned something like that. Not with a single word" he said, lifting his free hand up in defense. "I'm just saying, that my father was the same. He used to sleep around with women, he stayed out in hotel rooms many nights and I didn't care. I never did. Until your mom walked through our front door and dad introduced her to me" he said with a bit angry undertone.

"What's wrong with that?"

"He never introduces anyone that is not important" he explained and dropped his head back down on my pillow. "You see, she is obviously a very important person to my dad, that's why I'm trying to hold back my feelings towards her."

"So you won't hurt him?" He nodded. "And that's why are you so frustrated all the time? Because you can't express yourself?"

"Something like that... There is a thing called 'Freedom of expression', yet I'm holding back myself. I'm slowly forgetting how to express myself properly, without being afraid to be slapped across the face" he said and I saw his expression change from angry to a sorrowful one. I came to realize that I saw Mr. Jung slap Jaewon at least 4 times since the day I and mom have had arrived. "It makes me sad that I get punished without a proper reason."

"Being rude and bullying me and my mom is a proper reason in my opinion" I corrected him, just to make him gah in despair.

"That's not what I meant. I get that I hurt you, I hurt her too, but you have to understand me too. It's not like I hate you, I never did-"

"Oh you haven't?" I snorted at him with a cheeky smirk.

"Let me finish, you brat" he snapped at me and pinched my skin on my neck. I yelped and brushed his hand away from me quickly. "It's just that I am not ready to get back to the family life. I lived my childhood all alone, without seeing my father for days. I never had a sibling and now you all expect me to be all cool with a little brother?" he gave me a questioning look. I chewed on my lower lip, trying hard to process Jaewon's feelings and thoughts.

"But you have many friends, don't you?"

"Although I do, this is very different. They want me to be all brotherly with you, yet I can't. We are not related Samuel, that's why I can't be around you like your big brother. I never will be your big brother as long as they won't announce me that you're blood related to me. That's just how it is, man."

"I don't quite understand the meaning of this whole thing, but I can pretend to. Why won't you say this to your dad?"

"Because he won't listen. And he is barely home. The truth is that the house came back to life once again since you moved in, it's not all dead and empty, but don't you feel lonely sometimes?" he asked. I twisted my lips to the side thinking. I just shrugged, not really knowing what to say. I never felt alone in a full house. "You know why?" I shook my head. "It's because you lived in a home where there were people around you. It was not such an incredulity that you walked into a living room full of people and you haven't said a word to one another, because you see each other all day, was it?" I nodded my head, agreeing to his theory. It wasn't relevant for us to talk to each other while we sat in the same room. It was normal to us to just spend the evening in each other's presence but without interrupting the peace and quiet. "See now, this is something I never experienced. It's new to me, to sit in the living room, watch TV and just exist. Your mom works, my dad works in the same room, you'd probably be watching the TV and I would just anger myself more. My fantasies, my imagination about a family is not like that! I wanted a happy family. A family where everyone shares their thoughts and feelings with acceptance and understanding. But what should this family accept and understand if there is nothing to talk about?"

I felt sorry for him. It started to make a clear picture. Puzzle pieces started to form a crystal clear image of Jaewon's blurry mind. And he was right.

"Did I talk too much?" he asked all of a sudden, breaking my vision of his flawless face in front of my eyes. "Did I bore you?"

"No, not at all, Jaewon," I shook my head quickly and lay down beside him, facing him while supporting my head on my palm. "Why are you telling me this now, anyway?"

"I don't know..." he smiled and turned his face to look up at the ceiling. He heaved in a breath and pursed his lips in thoughts. "Maybe because you're my only friend right now?" he exclaimed and looked back at me again. 

"Really?" I smiled, my eyebrows rising on their own in a hopeful rush.

"Dummy!" he chortled a laugh and turned completely toward me, hugging my head in a soft lock. I was chuckling as I was facing his chest now, more like the neck line of his sleep shirt. There were tiny strings of stitches coming off torn from it at it looked old and worn off. It was a simple Dynamic Duo black t-shirt, that already lost most of it's color from the overpowered washing and it's stretchiness was also long gone, hence it was hanging on Jaewon's arms and torso. Even if it looked old and dirty, it still smelled nice. It was Jaewon's specific scent. A manly, rugged smell that had a nice spice to it, which made every girl's head turn and get addicted to the smell. Well, more exactly, not only girls'. I closed my eyes in all the comfort and peacefulness, taking in his scent and letting out a huge puff of relief.

"You smell nice," I let it slip. Before I could panic, he replied for my surprise.

"That's because I shower" he mumbled. I assumed that sleepiness took over his tired body and mind. He probably needed to let out everything that was bothering him, so he could finally drift off to his sleep.

I looked up at him carefully, so I could take a peek at his face.

Yes, he was already asleep. His lips were slightly parted, eyes closed calmly and his arms still around my head and shoulders. I smiled under my breath and pulled the blanket over his side, arm and shoulder and almost above my head. I sneaked my arm around his side and torso, pulling myself closer to him. Eventually he moved as well, tangling his leg with mine and pulling me closer, to make the position even more comfortable. I was left breathing in his manly smell, falling asleep contently. 

A/N: So much happening! What do you think, will Jaewon's confession affect the wedding of their parents? Please let me know your thoughts down bellow