Ch. 1 - January, 17th

Dairy! That's just perfect, I only needed this to my happy ending. <- That's sarcasm.

"My dearest Samuel! My own dairy was one of the most important guide during puberty and school life," writes my aunt from Los Angeles and sends me an empty book.

Seriously, it's a dairy. The most famine and girly thing my aunt could even think about. Well, it's still better than those lame pajamas she used to send me every year on my birthday. Although she managed to smoothly go from the baby-design, like spiderman, cars, various ball, to something more adult like stripes and squares without sending Any that would actually fall for my own taste and I would like it.

And my mom is usually the one excited by these presents. "Oh goodness, Samuel, that's so sweet. I never though, that dairies still exist these days." That's of course, isn't it obvious?

And now this lame book. Come on, who else still writes a diary about his boring days at school into a book? What for are the computers and laptops and all that stuff, right? Who still finds these things in their nightstands anymore? And by the way, to be more exact nightstands are not "trendy" anymore.

Curious mothers don't creep in their kids' bedrooms to find their dairies, but their desire is to find a lying in the back pocket of your pants, or a love letter from a girl put secretly somewhere. Or they creep up behind you, pretending to clean or something and they read your messages on facebook. And actually the worse thing is when they check your phone once a week, like my freak mom does. And for punishment, you get to teach them work with the computers and laptops, because they want to be modern and in. The worst feeling is when you sit at school, listening to the boring blabber of the teacher, while your parents secretly at home play the games they personally forbid their children to play.

But back to the topic. What the heck is a dairy for?

"You can write all your deepest secrets you have and don't want anybody else to know about" writes my aunt. But there are no deep secrets in my life that no one can not know! My life is an opened book. To be more exact, an empty book. My life is deadly boring. Fortunately I'm an only child, I have the weirdest mom ever and the coolest friends of the class. <- That's sarcasm too.

But I can explain few things perfectly. My mom is a weirdo. She is a widow of some kind, at least she likes to call herself that. She works at the theater as a costumer. She also designs dresses and fixes some clothes for her friends or as a service. It doesn't make much money, to be honest, but we manage. After dad died she was low on money income and the life in L.A. was too expensive for her and a baby me. She moved back to her parents, my grandparents in South Korea, giving me the opportunity to start over with my awkwardness and embarrassment. It was a hard year, mom couldn't get a job and grandpa got sick, which meant no money income for anyone. My aunt from L.A. had to borrow us money, which lead us to some dept. And my life was difficult too. I couldn't speak Korean very well, and my primary school classmates were pretty boring and uncool. They didn't know fun and they could just avoid me and rather make me invisible. Not that being the class clown and an outsider makes it better, but still... at least I get some recognition now. Mom got her job by a pretty funny incident. We were invited to a show, by some of mom's boyfriend, and they played Othello. I was a kid, I had no idea what was going on. We were sitting in the front row and in my boredom I started throwing candy wrappers on the stage, disturbing the actors. I was so cool back then, that I hit the clown's cap-bells. It was enjoyable for a kid like me, but unfortunately, I was the only kid in the whole theater. The actor who played the clown got annoyed and pissed with me, which lead to the funny incident. He wanted to teach me a lesson, walking down from the stage after his part was over and wanted to tell me something strict. Unfortunately for him, fortunately for me, as he jumped off the stage, his pants got stuck in a outstanding screw on the wooden floor, and ripped his pants apart. The best thing was that it was on his . My mom felt so sorry that she offered to sew the pants and that's how she got her job. As I think about it, she can thank me, her brilliant son!

My grandpa is a cool guy. He usually lets me take a sip from his beer or rice vine and he's the only one who doesn't force me to eat peas (I hate peas). He let's me watch TV before I have to do my homework and he takes me to his job very often, on the weekends mostly. I used to spend more time with him in his job as a kid, waiting for my mom to pick me up after school I went to visit him in his job. He was a security guard at a grocery shop down town. Only older people and adults shop there, that's why I was allowed with grandpa in his small office with these monitors and cool security stuff. I used to sing songs in the announcement microphone and the old ladies loved it. I was a celebrity in the shop. Well, it didn't last long...

My grandma is also the best woman on this Earth. She is very patient woman and funny too. She is the happiest when she can beat up grandpa for getting drunk or not eating his peas during dinner and when she can spend time with me. Since I was a baby I spent the longest time with her. She taught me how to play poker and black jack. She taught me how to make the best gingerbread cookies and I have to admit, that I love her the most from all the people around me. She is so easy to talk to and she is so open to new things, not like grandpa. She simply let's me watch movies and TV shows which are only for kids over 15 and she doesn't tell mom. She was the one who had the "-ed" talk with me, the serious one. Grandpa told me some weird things about these things and I did have nightmares for two months straight about being eaten by a girls reproductive organ. Err-gross!

And about school, it was never easy for me to blend in. I was always an outsider of some kind. But for one specific person, I hate school more than I used to.

Jung Jaewon! The biggest in the whole school including his squad of dumb heads. They divined the school into two categories. The cool ones and the rest. And where do I belong? Take a guess...

While I was in primary school there was nothing like the cool ones and the lame ones. There was two groups, girls and boys. Girls stick together against boys and boys stick together against girls. If you were caught talking to a girl, you were humiliated to your bone. "Janey and Samuel, sitting in the tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G" yuck! That's a terrible memory. Janey never talked to me since then. She is now sitting right behind me at school and well... It couldn't get more awkward. 

Until Jaewon stayed out of my focus (or I stayed out of his), my life would be so much easier and enjoyable. He first seemed ok, like he was going to do no harm. It was on the opening ceremony. They were like the coolest kids, because they were the 10th graders, in our other words, Gods for the small ones like us. we all were so mesmerized by how good they all looked and we envied them, but not long enough, I guess. Jaewon came along with his friends, smiling and all friendly, asking us to join them on the playground after the ceremony, that they want to play a game with us. We, naive little 7th graders, agreed and what happened next? I came home with my new uniform dipped in the mud, I was dusty and dirty, my shoe was ripped at the toe. I got a scar on my knee, a bleeding lip and pain in my stomach. I felt like dying. My best friend, Vernon, he got away with a broken wrist and a swollen eye. The reason you ask? We played dodge ball... However it felt like we were the balls and the players at the same time. The 10th graders pushed us against one another and threw the balls, making us youngers bump into each other, hit each other, run into each other and hurt each other badly. Beautiful start of the school year, don't you think? <- That's sarcasm, again.

Then there was this incident, when Vernon was suddenly asked to join the Cool Crew. Jaewon's classmate, Krystal, one of the most popular and prettiest girls on the school, even outstanding the 12th graders. She came personally with some of her friends to ask Vernon to sit with them at lunch. Why you ask? Well... Vernon is very popular among girls since we entered middle school and he is multitalented. He can sing, he can rap, he can sing and he is good looking. i guess that's all it takes to be in the Cool Crew, baby! Such a lame rule though. The only fortunate thing about this is that he wasn't banned to talk to me. We still can talk and hang out, of course when he isn't busy wiping the elders' butts.

Vernon was so upset that I couldn't hang out with the Cool Crew, that he asked Jaewon to accept me too. Jaewon had second thoughts, but he agreed, allowing to do some audition kind of test. He asked me for my ideal type of women. What the heck, I have no idea! I'm only 13, how could I know... I told him that I have non. They laughed at me.

"Listen up, kid. We don't want babies in our crew. These girls here are not nannies nor babysitters to change your dirty diapers, Moron-ah" Jaewon precisely stated. Moron-ah? Is that my new nickname? How nice and lovely to be called an idiot...

Well fine, I admit that my life isn't that boring, but right now, I feel like it is the end of it.

At least I have my dairy. Hahaha.

January, 18th

Vernon came over last night, secretly, because he told Jaewon that he wasn't feeling good, that's why he won't be going out with them. Although Vernon is scared of losing his Cool Crew membership, which means nothing at all.

He begged me to grow up, at least to act so, so I would be accepted to the club and be cool. He said he is feeling lonely there, because he has no intention in sleeping with girls nor smoking, he wasn't even allowed in a real club  yet. He was only 14, a bit older than me. 

He also misses me. He said that if I would be accepted, he would enjoy it more.

I'll think about it.

Maybe I'll do a favor to my best friend.