LIFE CHANGER

Title [3/5]

I see this titles on tumblr sometimes, and there’s this one story I read entitled life changer, I’m not sure where though.

Foreword [4/5]

It’s nice to thank people on the foreword, but do add a few words. I mean, it actually didn’t reveal much of the story. Add a few words there that will be in the story, don’t be too relevant though.

Grammar & Spelling [15/20]

I’m docking five points here. Let me enumerate them one by one.

 First is your misuse of the pronoun “I”. I is a special pronoun, it should be capitalized no matter what.

Second, your present tenses. I noticed that all of your statements are present tense, when some of them are supposed to be past tense.

Third, your sentences sometimes sound too verbose. Verbose means too much words or information.

Fourth, the punctuation marks are wrongly used. Punctuation marks are used to indicate hints, Period: 3 seconds, Comma: 2 seconds etc. Use period to end a sentence, and use a comma when you need to stop reading for a while.

Plot [15/20]

I find your plot a bit cliché. I mean, there’s this girl that wasn’t want attention or some sort is a common character. A girl pretending to be a nerd is one of the most common characters I’ve read. 

Characterization [12/15]

Your characters didn’t really shine in to me. I see the potential of Mica’s character, but you’re not really showing it. Jungkook’s character is a bit off. I like V’s character though.

Flow [5/5]

The flow turns out to be natural. It wasn’t sloppy, and the story is more understood.

Writing Style [8/10]

I see potential in your writing, all you really need to do is show it. Don’t be afraid to pull off new ideas. Why not try a plot twist?

Readability [5/5]

The size, color and font chosen were readable. They were absolutely perfect!

Overall Enjoyment [13/15]

I actually enjoyed your story. It has this feeling that makes me think. You just need to explain it more without giving too much away.

Suggestions* [0/0] 

TITLE:

Titles? Why not try something like “Kookie and Tofu”, or “He who changed my life”? Try something new. Just try not making it to obvious, or don't try to make the title give away too much.

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