Reviewer: KillerGal

Customer: exopromise

Title [4/5]

While it may seem childish, this title is suitable for the theme of the story and the writing style. When I first read the title, My BFF, I had thought that it meant My Best Friend Forever, but there are three best friends so it should be My Best Friends Forever, right? Maybe it is just me but I think most people would think of ‘My Best Friend Forever’ instead of ‘My Best Friends Forever’. I’m not sure if your intention is the former or the latter, but the former is grammatically wrong anyway. While my BFF is cute, uncommon and a suitable choice, there could have been a better choice.

Foreword [5/5]

I like how quotes are used and they’re definitely relevant. However, there are some grammatical errors. I won’t deduct marks since it should be under the grammar & spelling section.

Grammar & Spelling [13/20]

Most of your spellings are pretty accurate.

I’m really not trying to be rude but you have a lot of grammar mistakes so I won’t bother listing all here. However, despite having lots of grammar mistakes, your sentences are easy to understand. You have a grasp on the English language, albeit it’s a bit weak.

There is a particular mistake that I’d like to point out because it may be a grammar mistake or simply the wrong choice of word.

If you had made a poor judgement on the word diction:

‘“Why were you stunning after I drank…”’

This definition of stunning is extremely impressive or attractive. So, are you saying that Chanyeol became extremely attractive or impressive after he saw Kris drink?

I think what you wanted to express was ‘“Why were you shocked after/that I drank…”’

It is either a grammar error or you used a wrong word.

If it was simply bad grammar, then you have to understand that stun and stunning is vastly different. It is not like shock and shocking. The definition of stun is to knock unconscious or into a semi-conscious state or to astonish or shock (someone) so that they are temporarily unable to react. If this was a grammar mistake, then your sentence should be rephrased, ‘“Why were you stunned after/that I drank?”’ Both after and that can be used, but I think that is more suitable, because if you were to use after, it’d seem like Chanyeol is not shocked because of the fact Kris drank but he just happened to be shocked right after Kris drank.

It’s also good that you manage to remain in past tense throughout most of the story but there were some points where you use both present and past tense in the same sen