[R]Alimentum
Drugon Multishop [OPEN&HIRING] Reviews, Graphics, Trailers, Advertisement #Batch 2 OPENReviewer: KillerGal
Title [5/5]
Definitely relevant and I’ve yet to see a fic with the same title yet.
Foreword [5/5]
It’s short and simple, but very accurate. I used to have eating disorders, and the control part is just very accurate.
Grammar & Spelling [16/20]
Original: wasn’t any strong feelings
Revised: weren’t any strong feelings
Original: Minseok felt like the worlds most powerful person
Revised: Minseok felt like the world’s most powerful person
Original: their confines deep in Minseoks mind and
Revised: their confines deep in Minseok’s mind and
Original: Worthless and gross and disgusting.
Revised: Worthless, gross and disgusting.
Actually both are fine, but the second seems to flow slightly better, IMO.
Original: Tea was fewer calories
Revised: Tea has lesser calories/Tea meant lesser calories.
The original is arguably grammatically correct but I believe the revised version is a better choice and sounds less awkward.
Overall, you have a competent grasp on the English language but several small mistakes can still be found here and there.
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