Taeyeon POV

I stared at the TV without actually focusing on what’s showing, when I was thinking about what happened few hours ago.

Flashback

We were sitting in the waiting room at “Live with Kelly” US show when manager Oppa called to get ready.

“You guys are up in 5 minutes. Let’s go”      

I got up and walked to the middle and other members slowly gathered around and put arm around each other. Sooyeon stood beside me and put her arm around my shoulder and Tiffany was at my right side. I can tell Yuri is glaring at me, but I didn’t look at her for now. I don’t want to make problems when we are about to perform at US show for the first time.

“OK guys, we waited for this moment for a long time now. Let’s do our best ok? Everyone is ready?” I quickly looked around and saw everyone nodded their heads except Yuri. She is still looking at me and Sica. I looked away and put my arm forward gesturing others do to our chant.

…………..

“Right now it’s girl’s generation”

We bowed and stood up in a line so MCs can ask questions. But I stood far end because I am not really good at English. Surprisingly Yuri stood beside me. To our fans it looked like she is so happy to be here because she is waving at fans smiling.

“so, you finally got your girl huh? You must be so happy” Yuri was actually talking to me using ventriloquism.

“I..” I quickly glanced at her but she was looking forward and smiling like nothings is wrong.

“No need to act all innocent you know. Well, you even showed off when I came back. Should have known you were a back stabbing ”

I know there is no point trying to reason with her. So I did what I am always good at.

“Well she loved me in the first place and I couldn’t help but fall in love with her too. You know her charms right? Besides how can I ever forget our love especially when we have so many memories?”

Finally I got the reactions I was looking for. Her eyes narrowed and she glared at me. But I can see the hurt underneath all that hate. I smiled sweetly at her before I looked forward again.

I know I shouldn’t hurt her like that. But I have to pretend like Sooyeon and I am together without saying it directly so she can give up on her. I wanted to selfish for once.  

“Finally you are showing true colors, Taeyeon. I wonder what will others say when they knew. I am thinking of how to say how you stole my girlfriend. What will Tiffany say huh?” She smirked.

“Well I don’t give a damn about what they have to say if I can have Sooyeon. I already knew what I got myself in to when I confessed to her”

“Oh yeah? Let’s see then”                                                   

Yuri turned to me slowly and grabbed my elbow roughly when someone interrupts us.

“What the hell are you doing in the middle of an interview, Taeyeon and Yuri? Argue when you go back. Now focus on the freaking interview” Sooyoung muttered and slapped my back without others noticing. No one can suspect what’s happening because we were smiling.

“ah yeah. Your girlfriend. I meant your real girlfriend is even glaring at you Kim. You should pay more attention to her rather than trying to steal other’s girlfriends you know”

We were too much in to our conversation we didn’t realize others actually showed the point of the choreography to audience. Soon it was over and we were about to head back when I Yuri placed a hand on my shoulder and leaned to me.

 “For your information I don’t care if I am her 2^nd or 3^rd or 100^th girlfriend as long as she loves me. I won’t give up on her. So this is not over, Kim Taeyeon” She whispered in my ear and smiled like she said some joke so other’s wouldn’t suspect.

So am I, Yuri.              

End of flashback

I was still staring in to space when I felt someone’s presence beside me.  That’s when I saw Fany standing next to me with her arms crossed. The look on her face showed me all I have to know.

“We need to talk” is all she said before walking to our hotel room and closed the door loudly. We were still at US, waiting for our flight back. We are leaving to South Korea at 11.30pm tonight, so other members except Yuri, Sooyeon and Seohyun was there. They were all curious about what has happened today.  But we have an unspoken rule that we won’t ask if they don’t tell. They gave me a sympathetic look but gestured me to go. I know I have to face it sooner or later so I got up and followed her.

When I entered the room she is pacing back and forth, muttering under her breath so I walked to the bed and sat there, waiting for her to talk. She girl stopped walking after few minutes and turned to me.

“What was that all drama today huh?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about” I shrugged my shoulders trying to act normal.

I didn’t know how much she knew, so I decided to act dumb and get her talk. Beside I wanted her to break up with me. I wanted her to tell her that so I can really move on with Sooyeon.

Yes I know I sound like a total jerk, but I couldn’t help it.

“Don’t act dumb with me, Kim Taeyeon. You were flirting with Jessica Jung. Did you forget she has a girlfriend? Did you even forget me who is your ing girl friend of past 3 years” she looks angry and her voice is loud, but her eyes filled with tears but she is trying hard not to cry.

She is jealous because I stayed with Sooyeon? Then she doesn't know...

"That’s not true, baby. I was just talking with her.  You know I…" before Taeyeon could complete her sentence she felt a sharp stinging pain followed by a loud slapping sound. She was too stunned to react but she felt tears gather in her eyes and her vision blur.

"Don't you dare say you love me after you lied all this time, Taeyeon? You think I don't know what happened with Jessica? You ing confessed and begged her”

My eyes widen when she heard the last part. I didn’t think other members know I confessed to Sooyeon. I stared at Tiffany without saying anything but now tears fall down my cheeks freely.

“I knew you still loved Jessica when we start dating and I was just a rebound for your feelings. But I still stayed with you even when you would cry over her. You know I tried to understand you even it hurt a lot. I never said anything and waited patiently for you to love me, didn’t I? I never forced you and after a year almost gave up when you said you love me. Do you know how happy I was at that moment? I thought you really moved on that day.  Why you gave me hope when you loved someone else, Taeyeon. What did I do wrong for you to act like this?”

I didn’t have anything to say to her. I know what I did is wrong. But will you believe I love Tiffany too? Yes. At some point I did love her. But the moment I thought Sooyeon was in danger (when Yuri and Sica went on a date and Taeyeon couldn’t contact them) my feelings for her came rushing back. I realized how much I still love her. I knew I will hurt Tiffany if I say those things and I didn’t want to hurt her more than I already did. So I stayed quiet and let her talk. I couldn’t even look at her face let alone talk with her.

“I can’t believe I really loved someone like you. You not only hurt me but Yuri too. Do you know how hurt she is because of you? How can you even face her from now on huh? You know how much that girl love Jessica right? You saw it on your own eyes. How can you even think of hurting her? Answer me Taeyeon?” She was hitting my shoulders, chest but her hands were shaking. She is on verge of breaking down. There is only one way to let her go.

“Because I love her, Tiffany. I love Jung Sooyeon and I will do anything to win her heart even if I have to hurt others. I thought I can forget her. I really tried but I know I can’t live without her”

She closed her eyes and tears rolled down her cheeks. That was the saddest expression I ever saw in her face since we became friends.  I hold her and pulled her toward me when she swayed like she couldn’t stand anymore. But she stepped away and pushed me backward.

“You should have realized that before, Taeyeon. Before you gave me hope and before Yul confessed her feelings to Jessica. I just pray you know what you are doing, Taeyeon. Because this time there will be no one to hold you or comfort you. I don’t want see your face again, Kim Taeyeon. You better stay away from me now on” Her face is expressionless and she wiped her tears away. Without saying anything she walked out of the door. I sighed and sat on the bed again.

That moment I realized I lost one of the most important people in my life, Tiffany Hwang.

Will you forget your first love even when you know you don’t have a chance to be with her/him? Are you willing to sacrifices anything for her/him?

I don’t know how, when or why I fell in love with her. Maybe when I first saw her at our practice room sitting all alone or maybe when I first saw her. At first she was just a friend I hanged out with, but as time goes I looked forward to meeting her every day. Every time she hugged me I felt like my heart race and I found myself thinking about her all the time. That’s when I realized I am falling in love with her but I never thought she’ll like me back. How could I when she was so beautiful, caring and talented when I was just plain old Kim Taeyeon. So when I heard she likes me I was taken back. But I felt like I was the luckiest person in the world. The girl I love loves me back too. Then I realized we were almost reaching our goals and I didn’t want her to ruin it because of me. Besides I was too afraid to admit I like girls. I knew our families or society would never accept our relationship. I wasn’t ready to take that risk.

But that doesn’t mean I gave up on her. No, I can never give up on her. I used to look at her from far and I was feeling depressed for years because I had to see her flirt with that kid, Kwon Yuri. I thought Yuri is just having a crush on her. Then I realized that girl really love, Sooyeon. What she doesn’t know is that Sooyeon is already mine. Whatever she says now, I know she was just feeling guilty to let go of Yuri. I know she loves me deep down. I see it with the way she looks at me when no one is looking.

For past years I thought of approaching Sooyeon many times but Yuri always stayed with her so I didn’t have a moment alone with her. Then my opportunity came when Seohyun fall for Yuri and I tried to help Sooyeon. More I spent time with her more I realized I love her. But I tried to become a good friend and helped them to get back together but that left me with an empty feeling.

So I decided to be selfish for once and fight for our love. It’s time for me to step up on my game.  And this is just the beginning.

Teaser

"Yuri, can we talk?" She hold my hand looking at me directly.

How I miss staring at her...

"I have nothing to say to you" 

I felt like I couldn't breath the moment I let go of her hand. but I knew it doesn't belong to me anymore. 

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Her face was closer than I thought that I can feel her warm breath on my face. We stared at each others eyes for a moment until she close the gap between us. The moment I felt her soft lips on mine my mind went blank and I couldn't even react to her kiss.I can feel my heart beat fast when her lips slowly moved against mine. I was about to reciprocate when she leaned back. 

You don't know how long I waited for this moment, baby

Maybe she finally moved on.

Is that mean I still have a chance with her

My mind was a mess because I was thinking about the meaning of that kiss. But the moment I opened my eyes I realized that was all only imagination. She looked horrified by what just happened.  

"I...I don't know what came over me. I am ...."

"I guess that answered all my questions" 

..............

I looked at her face while running my fingers throught her silky hair. She looked really peaceful when she sleeps.

Suddenly she smiled slightly and I thought she is waking up. So I quickly took my hand away and about to get up but she didn't move all all. 

Is she having a good dream? 

I looked at the dorky girl that never fails to make me smile even when she is sleeping.

I leaned foreward and kissed her forehead slowly before I lie down beside her.

"Good night, Yuri-ah"

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Hey guys,

Hmmm FINALLY I did that TaeNy break up. It was really difficult than I thought. I re-write few times. Actually I am not happy with this chapter. It didn't come out as I want it to be. But with my exams coming up I don't think I'll have enough time to do it and I kept you all waiting. so I decided to update this. I am sorry if I made Taeyeon looks like a bad person. Believe me I LOVE KIM TAEYEON. but this is a YulSic :P and I give more priority to them. I need evil Taeyeon to make this more dramatic and interesting... btw who do you think are in that teaser? any guess? :P ha ha 

Soooooooo what do you think? Was it good? bad? please leave a comment. I read and reply to every comment.. and I LOVE when you share your ideas. Btw even it doesn't looks I didn't consider your ideas I really did :P You'll know that in next chapters :D Sooo thank you for my regular readers <3, welcome new readers too..  FInally if you like the story please subscribe and comment and upvote if you LOVE it!!!! 

see you guys..