Chapter 12

Jackson groaned, trying to block the sound with a pillow but failed as the doorbell rang nonstop.

With a deep sigh, he dragged his half asleep body off Mark's bed where he had clearly fallen asleep on last night after all that tears.

"What?" Jackson grumbled, staring at Yugyeom who expression dropped upon seeing how much of a wreck Jackson is upon the door swung open.

The older had bloodshot eyes from the all the crying until he fall asleep around dawn earlier, hair in a total mess while he just look dead.

"I'm picking you up for the special performance, today. Remember? It's already four now." Yugyeom replied, inviting himself in to see the living room in a mess.

Apparently after Jaebum walked out on him yesterday, Jackson kinda of when on a rampage when he realized how much of pain he was to Mark.

"I'm not going." Jackson exclaimed tiredly, plopping himself down on the couch before messing his hair in distressed.

"What happened here exactly, hyung? Where is Mark hyung?" Yugyeom asked, clearly lost as he took a seat beside the older who just kept quiet.

"You know what if you don't wanna tell me, it's fine but please you already promised me that you will come along." Yugyeom sighed, taking it as a sign that something is definitely wrong after seeing how quiet the usually loud older is.

Jackson know that he promised Yugyeom to accompany him and watch the special performance today, the same one Mark and Youngji had been practicing for.

"Mark..." Jackson sighed mentally at that name, thinking if it's a good idea to show his face in front of the older after what happened yesterday.

Honestly, he is too ashamed and guilt ridden to face Mark Tuan especially after he watched those vlogs last night that he accidentally found due to the video cam that he found on the floor.

Mark might had left behind his precious video cam by accident and upon watching those vlogs, Jackson feel like punching himself for failing to see how much Mark had loved him all this time.

"What? Are you serious? I will be right there." Yugyeom exclaimed in a rush causing Jackson to turn and look at the younger who apparently just finished talking on his phone.

"Hyung, we need to go. JB hyung called saying that Mark hyung is missing, he still not at the venue yet and everyone is freaking out. Let's go." Yugyeom informed causing Jackson's eyes to widen in shock before he quickly when ahead to change before they exit the apartment in a rush.

By the time they reached backstage at the venue, it was a total chaos and they could easily spot a freaking out Hakyeon beside Jaebum whose assuring him.

"Hyung, how is it? Still no news?" Yugyeom asked as he appeared beside the older with Jackson trailing behind him, clearly worried too.

"No, Hakyeon said that he was supposed to be here two hours ago since they still need to do one last rehearsal but he didn't show up until now. They are going up on stage in twenty minutes but we can't even get a hold on him." Jaebum informed before he turned and look at his best friend who look like a mess right now.

While the three best friend tried calling Mark over and over again, Hakyeon had excused himself when the Instructor called him.

Ten minutes later, Hakyeon reappeared before walking straight up to a lost Jackson, looking hesitant to say something.

"Jackson, do you know the couple routine?" Hakyeon asked after a pause which cause Jackson to nod while Jaebum and Yugyeom just watch the exchange between them.

"I had watched it a few times." Jackson said which is true since he did watched their practices a few times.

"Good, follow me. You are replacing Mark today." Hakyeon exclaimed before dragging the dumbfounded Jackson away while the duo exchanged looks, wondering what it's going on.

In a blink, it was already their turn to perform and there was Jackson on stage dancing with his crush but he didn't even look a bit happy about it, at least not to his best friends eyes.

"Hyung." A voice called out before tapping on Jaebum's shoulder causing the duo to turn before Im Jaebum broke into a grin upon seeing his cuteness.

"What are you doing here?" Jaebum asked while Youngjae sighed, he had come here to help his Mark hyung.

"Mark hyung didn't turn up, right?" Youngjae asked which caused Jaebum to nod in return while Yugyeom watched the exchanged between the two, since when are they close.

Youngjae sighed before asking the duo to come closer as he whispered something to both causing Jaebum and Yugyeom to sigh too.

When Jackson finally got off stage, he was surprised to see the 'baby' guy with his best friends, standing together and talking.

"Good job, Jacks. You did well. I'm sure Mark will be happy." Jaebum praised, pulling his best friend into a bear hug, knowing well that he needs it.

"What do you mean?" Jackson asked slowly when Jaebum let him go, looking at the three whose staring at him.

"Mark hyung, he purposely didn't turn up so that you can dance with Youngji. It's your wish, right?" Youngjae explained which got Jackson taken aback.

"He told me it was the most he could do for you after forcing you to marry him." Youngjae added which instantly caused Jackson to frowned at those words, it was those words that he loved to say before brainlessly.

"Hey Jackson, we are hanging out later. Come and join us." Youngji called out before shamelessly clinged onto the distressed male.

"Enough, Youngji! Just go away. I'm not your toy." Jackson hissed, harshly pulling himself out of the female hold before turning to look at Youngjae.

"Do you know where he is?" Jackson asked, clearly desperate to see Mark now and luckily Youngjae knows, his back at the Tuan's mansion.

Jackson said his thanks to the trio before he rushed off, not even changing out of his performing outfit before he flagged a cab and headed straight to his destination.

+++++++++++++

“Mommy.” Jackson greeted the elder that had open the door for him, Mrs Tuan just smiled before letting her son in law in before he was faced with Mr Tuan seated in the living room.

“Are you here for Yi En, Ka Yee?” Mr Wang asked, seriousness in his tone as he got up to approached his son in law, scarring Jackson in the process.

Jackson immediately nodded, too nervous and scared to say anything to the elder pair that has love him like their real son all this while.

“Go ahead, he is in his room.” Mrs Tuan said, patting his shoulder encouragingly before pointing upstairs causing Jackson to muttered a quick ‘thank you’ before running up the stairs.

“Yi En..Tuan Yi En..” Jackson called, knocking the door which surprised the older, he didn’t expect to hear the younger’s voice again.

“Yi En..please open the door.” Jackson pleaded when he wasn’t getting any response while Mark just stare at door, he wasn’t ready to face the younger again so he just quickly put on his earpiece, trying to block the voice and the knocks that come with it.

“Please...let’s talk.” Jackson begged, knocking even harder until his knuckles hurt but he doesn't care, he just want this door open.

Mark pressed the volume up button on his music player, trying his best to block out so he won’t waver because he has decided that it’s time to give up, detached every single feelings that he had for Jackson

“TUAN YI EN!” Jackson shouted in frustration and desperation, knocking like crazy which cause Mark to finally give up before getting up and swung the door open.

“What? Just go back.” Mark hissed, glaring at the younger who he had noticed doesn’t even look human even though he had the performance outfit on.

“I’m sorry.” Jackson apologized, trying to grabbed Mark’s wrist but he avoided the touch, just staring at the younger in disbelief.

“I’m tired, just go Jackson Wang.” Mark said before trying to close the door on the younger but Jackson used his legs to stop him.

“Yi En…” Jackson called out which caused Mark to calm down his wavering heart, he can’t give in now or he will just hurt himself again.

Upon noticing the wedding ring on him, Mark made up his mind and took off the ring before placing it into the shocked Jackson’s hand.

“Let’s just end things here, Jackson. I’m giving you, your freedom.” Mark exclaimed before finally managed to close the door since the younger was frozen up upon his words before his back was pressed against the door, tears threatening to fall.

“Mark…” Jackson called out upon realizing what those words mean, he can’t lose him just like that as he continued pounding the door, eyes already teary himself.

Mark hated to cause pain to his love ones but he wasn’t strong enough to stay by Jackson’s side anymore so the only thing he could do is to let go.

“I’m sorry, Mandu.” Mark muttered to himself as tears finally fall with the sound of Jackson’s pounding in the background, calling out his name over and over again.

+++++++++++++

Time passed, it been four days since Mark has been locked up alone in his room, trying to deal with everything therefore he decided it’s best to just skip everything including college since there wasn’t much anyway with him graduating soon.

He thought that Jackson would had gave up after that day but no, the younger  come here everyday for the past four days just to knock on his door, calling out for him over and over again until he got tired.

Mark didn’t like that, making the other suffered like that but he didn’t had the confidence to open his door because if he see Jackson’s face again, all his effort trying to detached would go to a waste.

Sighing, Mark laid his head to rest on the bed, staring at the white ceiling above him with so many thoughts flying around his head.

The knocking followed by his mother’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts before he lazily got up, opening the door for Mrs Tuan.

“Dear, your friends and Youngie is here to visit.” Mrs Tuan said causing Mark to smile before nodding, he did missed his baby brother and duo afterall.

“Markie hyung.” Youngjae cheered, the moment he caught the sight of Mark climbing down the stairs before he and Yugyeom go ahead and hug attacked the older while Jaebum just chuckled watching them.

“How are you, Mark?” Jaebum asked after the others let his used to be pretend boyfriend go, everyone settling down on the couch again.

“As you can see, Jaebum.” Mark replied with a small smile which caused the trio exchanged look with each other, looking like as if they are hesitating to say something to him.

“It’s everything alright guys?” Mark asked, sensing something off with especially at how worried all of them looked and he got a vibe that it’s something to do with Jackson Wang.

“If this is about Jackson, I don’t want to hear.” Mark added which caused Jaebum to sighed while Youngjae and Yugyeom to frowned.

“But hyung, he..” Youngjae tried to explained but Mark cut him, he didn’t want to hear nor know what’s going on with his Mandu right now, he prefer to be in that bubble of his for now.

“Whatever it is, it’s nothing to do with me, Baby. I already let him go.” Mark stated firmly before getting up and walked away but Jaebum’s words makes him paused his track.

“I know, we can never understand your pain, what he put you throughout the years. Being the idiot he is, he wasn’t good at reading emotion nor expressing it. I’m not taking anyone side right now but I think he deserve a second chance, Mark. 

Due to exhaustion and lack of sleep, he hurt his ankle and shoulder during practice yesterday. He is a mess without you and I can’t bear to watch him like that anymore. Please, rethink this through if you still think of me as a friend.” Jaebum said  which caused Mark to turned and looked at the faces that has been rooting for him all the way, they treated him like a true friend.

“We are going to visit him later over at his parent's place. Do you wanna see him, hyung?” Yugyeom added, looking hopefully at the older who only just shooked his head, he can’t just give in right now.

It was for the better, after this Jackson will just need to forget about him and move on with Youngji, the girl of his dream.

“I will excused myself now, guys. Thanks for coming and tell him take care.” Mark said, smiling bitterly as he hugged all three of them before heading for his room upstairs again.

Meanwhile back at the Wang’s place, Jackson was just staring into air as the television in front of him continue playing in the background.

His injuries is hurting so badly but still it wasn’t as bad as his heart, his heart feel like as if it’s been shredded into pieces ever since that day, he still can’t deal with the thought of letting go of Mark Tuan.

Right now with a cast over his ankle and sling over his arm, Jackson can barely move anywhere without help and it was frustrating because all he wanna do was to be over at Tuan’s mansion knocking on Mark’s door until he opened up.

Letting out a deep sigh, Jackson smacked his face lightly before focusing back to the variety show that he was watching, he needs to stop thinking about Mark or he will really just go crazy at this point.

+++++++++++++

Mark groaned in annoyance as he twist and turn in bed, trying to fall asleep but failed, especially with his mind still busy worrying about a certain Jackson Wang.

Seeing that it’s almost ten at night, Mark repositioned himself before trying to forcing himself to sleep again it was no use, he wasn’t getting any sleep until he stopped worrying about the younger.

Sighing, he swiftly got up and grabbed a hoodie before exiting the room with his car keys, deciding it’s best for him to check up on the other so that he could finally get some sleep.

“Where are you going, dear?” Mrs Tuan asked when she noticed her son running to the front door in a hurry since she and Mr Tuan was seated in the living room, enjoying a late night movie.

“Out, Mom. I will be back quick, don’t worry.” Mark hollered out at his parents before he was out of the door, trying to get this done and over with so that he can actually sleep and stop worrying.

It took him a while to get there but he was finally parked in front of the Wang, he stare at the mansion wondering how he should have a glimpse of Jackson since he doesn't intend to disturb the Wang pair with his 'visit'.

Remembering about the staircase they had beside the mansion which leads to room's balconies including the younger's, Mark headed there straight and sighed in relief when he saw the balcony door was slightly ajar.

He quickly climbed up and instantly was greeted with the sight of a dazed Jackson, seated on the bed with a cast wrapped around his right leg and a cast sling on his right hand.

His heart broke into pieces seeing the younger's condition, he didn't know his condition was that bad.

While he was busy watching the younger, rain started to pour which caused him to pull on his hood while Jackson turned his attention towards his balcony door.

Jackson groaned upon seeing the door, Yugyeom must had forgotten to close it earlier after checking out the balcony, saying that it was too cool.

Seeing how the rain gonna get stronger and he didn't want to  disturb his parent whose resting, Jackson tried to move on his own, trying to get up but as he was trying to stabilize his weight with his uninjured leg, it was too much for him that he lose balance and fall forward.

He closed his eyes, ready for that hard fall on his face but it never came because somebody saved him and that somebody is Mark, Jackson stared in shocked when he was greeted by Mark's face when he opened his eyes.

"Yi En.." Jackson called softly, wondering if he was dreaming as he reached out to touched the quiet older face.

"Be careful." Mark reminded, helping  the younger settled back carefully on the bed before letting go for his hold but 
Jackson was quick to grab his hand, surprising the older.

"Let me go, Ka Yee." Mark exclaimed, trying to free his left hand but Jackson only hold tighter, not letting go when suddenly thunder started roaring which obviously scared the younger causing him to instantly hide his face on Mark's tummy, his uninjured arm around the older's waist.

Feeling bad for Jackson, Mark could only comforted him with pats on his head while whispering comforting words over and over again.

When the thunder and rain finally died down, Mark slowly freed himself from the younger who instantly look lost as he stare at Mark, pleading with his eyes to not let him go.

"Take care, I'm going." Mark said, ignoring those eyes before heading for the balcony door but Jackson's words definitely halted his intention to leave.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry I’m such a jerk....idiot...stu..pid...I'm..sorry..I'm no..t good eno..ugh...I'm...so..rry..I'm..lacking...I do..n't..de..serve...y..ou...I don't..de..serve...your..lo..ve....I'm..s..orry..." Jackson rambled on and by now, he was already a mess with tears running down non stop while Mark just stare at the broken younger, it was the first time he saw the younger cried this hard.

"Ka Yee.." Mark called out softly, his heart couldn't take it anymore as he quickly seated himself beside Jackson and pulled the sobbing younger into a tight hug.

"Please, Yi En...don't leave me. I can't live without you, I need you. I know I'm selfish for asking this of you but please, I can't function without you." Jackson begged when he calmed down, staring straight into Mark's eyes when the older pulled apart from him.

"I'm sorry, Ka Yee. I can't stay by your side if we both don't share the same feeling. It's better if you worked things out with Youngji, you like her right?" Mark exclaimed, smiling bitterly at the younger before looking away, he can't return just because Jackson needed him because he needs to know that he loves him too.

"Tuan Yi En, listen to me. I might realize it late, maybe even too late but the only person in my heart is you. There's no one else, be it now or ever. I love you, Dimsum."  Jackson confessed, saying that nickname that he didn't dream of saying again after he entangled the older's hand with his, making Mark stare in disbelief.

"You remembered, Mandu?" Mark asked shocked, he never dreamed of hearing that nickname again but he did it together with a confession that has always been only in wishes.

"Yes, Dimsum. I remembered it clearly." Jackson replied, chuckling which caused Mark to playfully  punch his uninjured shoulder.

"You MEANIE! Why do  I love an idiot like you?" Mark complained which caused Jackson to laughed before suddenly kissing Mark's cheek which instantly caused the older to blushed at the contact.

"It's because you can't resist this, it's too attractive." Jackson said smugly, pointing to himself which only caused Mark to laugh in returned before closing the gap between them, locking lips with the surprise younger.

"Be glad that you are right or I would have smack your head." Mark teased, resting their forehead together after their sweet official kiss.

Jackson smiled at those words, he would gladly let the older smacked him anytime, as long as he have Tuan Yi En by his side.

A/N: Hello! So how was that? I hope it satisfied you guys to see Jackson suffered a bit, I didn't wanna drag it for far too long because we all need our markson, right ;) Next chapter will be the last where I will wrapped up on their relationship and whatnot. Don't forget to share your thoughts on this chapter with me.

BIG THANKS TO KarenLovesB2ST, asianbromance, ayouta, TEENTOPANGEL1, erastr, LeaderCuriousity, xxv_vinxe, ShaylaM21, faramirmo, WuChannie, misslovers, cchez_mix, Bunny_Hime, Melissa_Emily, syran-night, asdfghjm15, Levikaesx3, merrickat and Jasorrell96 FOR SUBSCRIBING!

<3 InfinitelyCassie