Chapter 13 - First Sign of Progress.

I bolted down the stairs, past his living room, into his backyard. There was a door that led to the garage. Peering into the little window, I could see the car. I twisted the knob, but it was locked. In one swift move, I kicked it down.

“Baekhyun!”

I slapped my palms against the window of the car. He was unconscious, his head lolled to the side onto his shoulder. His lips were blue, his eyes were sunken.

He had left the engine running. My lungs constricted and I began coughing. I looked around the garage and picked up a baseball bat. I shattered the front window and unlocked the car. I dragged Baekhyun’s limp body out from the driver’s side and out of the garage.

I coughed violently next to him in his backyard. I looked to him: his eyes closed, his chest rising weakly.

“How the could you do this to me, Byun Baekhyun?”

//

It seemed that when it came to things like Baekhyun, repetition occurred frequently. Once again, I was spending the night next to him in his hospital room. There was an oxygen mask over his face. I fell asleep watching the rising and falling of his chest.

//

Unlike the first time, this time I awoke on my own. Baekhyun seemed to still be asleep. I seated myself next to his hospital bed on a chair. I took in his messy hair and long eyelashes.

How did I feel about him?

I supposed I never really considered it. All this time, I’ve always been convinced that I despised him. I mean, of course I did. He was Byun Baekhyun, he was my nemesis. Most of my school life had been devoted to hating him.

I very often disregarded my emotions. When my mom didn’t show up for my sixth grade valedictorian speech, I didn’t even feel sad. Mild disappointment, but it wasn’t even significant enough to affect me.

Emotions hindered you. They blurred your sense of judgment and conscience. What was the point of something like that?

But I couldn’t help but think back to that time we kissed; to how the rush of adrenaline that it elicited was so similar to when I argued with him. It was almost the same. My heartbeat accelerated, my cheeks grew flushed.

I looked down at his sleeping features.

Maybe there was a fine line between love and hate.

All of a sudden, his opened his eyes and they were staring right into mine. My heart raced involuntarily.

He pulled off his mask and sat up, his dark hair bouncing.

“Why’d you do it?” He asked.

“Do what?”

“Keep me from dying.”

I gaped at him.

“B-because I couldn’t let you die knowing that I could’ve saved you, you !”

“Have you ever considered the fact that I decided to kill myself because I wanted to?”

“Sometimes what you want isn’t always what’s best for you, princess.”

Baekhyun snorted.

“Don’t talk as if you know what’s best for me.”

“Baekhyun, you can see a psychiatrist. You can lessen the severity of your nightmares. You have so much potential, you can lead such a fulfilled life.”

“What’s the point of a fulfilled life when you can’t enjoy it?”

Baekhyun broke his gaze. He stared ahead instead of at me.

“Nobody will dare come close to me if they find out how ed up I really am. What girl could handle such violent nightmares? Panic attacks, and who knows what else?”

“I can,” I thought, but I didn’t say it out loud.

“I’m sure somebody will love you despite all of that. I mean, you’re Baekhyun. How could those weak-hearted women resist you?” I said instead.

Baekhyun raked his fingers through his hair. Locks of it fell into his eyes.

“You can,” he said.

I didn’t answer.

Baekhyun chuckled a little, and silence overtook the room.

“They’re probably going to make me see a psychiatrist.”

“You know you don’t have to go if you don’t want to, right?”

Baekhyun looked down at his hands.

“Maybe I should.”

He redirected his gaze onto me.

“Maybe you’re right.”

I felt my lips curve into a smile. Finally, I felt like I had helped him.

“Yeah,” I said, “maybe.”

A/N: yoo 200 subscribers man !!!! this is literally my first chaptered fanfiction and ive only had aff for like two months and the plotline isnt that good and the writing isnt my best but this is really big for me <3 thank you to all the commenters, upvoters, subscribers y'all are important af and make my day