Regret

He's Not A Bad Guy

Sunggyu was heading to the teria to have dinner. That night maybe was the last night he had to stay at MBC. Everyone in their team were ready for last edition of Moonlight. Sunggyu would miss his precious memories but it gave him to do what he should.

As he was walking, he made a phone call to Woohyun. He had to hear more than ten beeps before Woohyun answered the call. Woohyun's impatient and restless voice was heard.

-Yes hyung?

-Hey Hyun. Why are you panting? Were you running?

-Yes. I have to rush for an operation. Sorry but I can't speak now. I can't call you later either because I'm busy until midnight I think.

-Okay. I just wanted to know how you are doing.

-Thanks and sorry again.

Then he hung up the call. Sunggyu was a little taken aback but he tried to understand Woohyun. He must have been so busy. But he was aware that the younger had been avoiding him recently. He always said he was busy or he would call himself though had never did. All these started when Sunggyu had met Myungsoo, so he could guess the reason.

He found himself in front of the teria and went to get his food. As he was in the line, he saw Sungjong and Myungsoo sitting while enjoying their food and laughing at something he didn't know. An unconscious beam was formed on his lips. That guy beside Sungjong was the one he had looked for years. The one that hated him. He got the food and took his way to an empty table but Sungjong noticed him and waved his hand.

-Hyung, come here.

For a moment, Sunggyu hesitated but his feet dragged him there. He just managed to control himself and not sit with them, just standing as he was passing by.

-Oh Myungsoo-ah, you're here too.

Myungsoo nodded slightly and invited him to seat beside them.

-Thanks. I just want to ask something from Sungjong.

-Me?

-Yes. Please give your parents' house address and phone number.

Sungjong blinked and asked again.

-Why?

-I want to talk to Sungyeol. His cellphone is off. I can't reach him.

-I see. Okay, give me your phone, I'll type it for you.

Sunggyu put his tray of food on their table to reach for his cellphone in his pocket. As Sungjong was typing the address and phone number, Sunggyu turned to his brother.

-Myungsoo-ah, will you listen to me for just two minutes?

Sungjong stopped taping on Sunggyu's cellphone screen to see Myungsoo's reaction. Myungsoo put his chopsticks away and looked at Sunggyu's face, nodding.

-I… you know, I didn't mean to… bother you or as you said… ruin your life. The only thing I wanted was to know who I am and who I am belong to. I was so happy to find I had a blood related family. But I was wrong. The only thing I get after all efforts is to be alone. I lost all my precious ones, because… I am stupid.

Sunggyu remembered Woohyun's avoiding him and Sungyeol's cutting all possible ways to be reached. When Sungjong opened his mouth, Sunggyu found those weren't the only ones.

-Hyung, Myungsoo is leaving.

Sungjong received a wild glance from Myungsoo after saying that.

-You have to tell him, Myungsoo. He is kind of a family now.

Sunggyu didn't know how to get over the blow of shock.

-You… you are lea… leaving?

That was what came out Sunggyu's mouth but in his mind the sentence was: "You are leaving, TOO?"

-I'm going back to Tokyo. After the Christmas.

Said Myungsoo with his eye fixed on his hands. Sunggyu was still shocked but he managed to smile.

-Oh yeah. I respect your decision.

Myungsoo raised his head again in disbelief and said.

-Thank you. Nam Sunggyu-ssi.

Sunggyu nodded sadly. He was thinking about another lost when Sungjong passed him his phone.

-I saved them hyung.

Sunggyu took his phone and nodded again. He lifted his tray and left them.

Sungjong picked his spoon and the shoved the rice in Myungsoo's mouth.

-It's better now. You told him the truth.

Myungsoo smirked sadly and chewed the rice in his mouth. Looking at Sunggyu who was going further and further.

-What are you looking at KIM Myungsoo-ssi?

-Don't call me with that last name!

Sungjong shrugged and was about to shove another mouthful of rice to Myungsoo's mouth but he stopped when he said.

-I was thinking that maybe you are right. He doesn't look like a bad guy.

Sungjong smiled happily and ate the rice himself.

-I'm always right.

Myungsoo laughed at Sungjong's adorable expression as he was doing his best to sallow down the amount of rice in his mouth. Sungjong noticed and pouted.

-Hey, what's this cute pout for?

-That's because you are leaving while we haven't even gone on a date yet.

Myungsoo raised his eyebrows. Not believing what he just heard.

-You want to go on a date with me?

And he got a single nod from the younger as a answer.

-Really?

Again nodding.

-So… you are confessing to me?

-Of course, you stupid. What other chance would I have if I don't say it now when today you come and say you're leaving!

Myungsoo starred at Sungjong's face, showing a very wide smile.

-What is so funny?

-Nothing. I just remembered that I was going to confess on Christmas night but you did it just now.

Sungjong smiled bitterly and said.

-All these doesn't make any difference. You are still leaving.

Myungsoo reached for Sungjong's hand. He hold it tight as he said.

-I promise we would go on a date before I leave.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

 

He just finished the last edition of Moonlight. He didn't expect it to finish that soon. Just un two hours, he said all the lines that Sungjong had spent hour to write. He was feeling refreshed now. And it was time to go to his life, to become the one he was before, so he drove to the hospital after he was done with Moonlight team.

He walked to his brother's shared room with other residents. He had forgotten the correct way as he hadn't been there for a long time. Fortunately, he ran into his brother's closest friend.

-Kibum-ah?

-Sunggyu hyung? It's been a while. What are you doing here at this hour?

The young boy offered his hand for Sunggyu to shake it. He was smiling as brightly as always. A kind of heartwarming smile that Woohyun was that lucky to see everyday.

-I'm here to meet Woohyun. I've heard he's been so busy today.

-Woohyun? Are you joking? He was only touring around the whole building doing nothing.

-Really? Where is he now?

-In his room, sleeping I guess. Please wake him up. His shift is starting in less than thirty minutes.

Kibum showed Sunggyu the way to Woohyun's sleeping place. Sunggyu entered the room and saw his brother sleeping silently on his top bunk. He went near and shook his shoulder.

-Ah~ Let me sleep Kibum.

-Yah Nam Woohyun. You've to wake up now.

Woohyun jumped at surprise when he heard Sunggyu's voice and slowly opened an eye.

-What are you doing here, hyung?

Sunggyu pulled Woohyun's arm to make him come down. Woohyun put his white gown on and went to Sunggyu, not making any eye contact.

-What's up hyung?

-Nothing, I'm just here to see you. I bet you're too tired after many operations, huh?

Woohyun didn't respond, instead he just rubbed the sleep away of his eyes.

-Let's have coffee hyung. My treat.

Woohyun said that before heading out of his room, but Sunggyu stopped him.

-Since when do you lie to me so easily?

Woohyun froze and clenched his fists in his gown pockets. He turned back and faced the elder.

-I know Hyun-ah. I know you're upset.

-I'm not.

-I didn't notice how and when you got too far from me.

Woohyun stepped forward and put his hand on Sunggyu's shoulder.

-I wanted you to be happy hyung.

-This is not happiness Woohyun. I want both of us to be happy. To be one again. Like when we were little boys.

Woohyun made a toothy smile as he remembered their school days. He used to steal lazy Sunggyu's snacks on the way to force him to run to the school gate in the mornings and they sang together all the way back to home, and it dragged the chain of other memories with it. They both remembered them all.

-I spend the best and worst days of my life with you, and with our parents. How did you think I would forget you?

-I want to admit something.

Sunggyu nodded curiously, asking him to go on.

-It was always like a nightmare to me, even when we were children, that you would go your own way some day. But after years this fear turned into a kind of jealousy.

-So you were jealous?

-I envy that Myungsoo boy. You're his brother after all.

-Woohyun-ah I am only your brother, and I always will. Don't ever forget it.

Woohyun beamed sweetly. In Sunggyu's eyes, he had turned into that cheerful young Woohyun he used to know before. As if Woohyun really needed to hear those word from Sunggyu. Needed to be assured. Maybe Sunggyu could see why Myungsoo was upset about finding his true family. Sometimes the truth washes away all your past happiness.

-Hyung I…

-Now let's have a coffee. You have to start your shift soon.

-My treat.

They talked. And the more they listened to the other's words, the more they felt they needed it. They had forget about each other for so long, and Sunggyu blamed himself for making all these problems. Now he could see his brother's eyes shine. He regretted all those days that he wasted searching for nothing. All he had got was loneliness and sorrow. Now he had to recompense for all those mistakes. He wanted to show his love to his beloved ones.

-How long you have to stay here Woohyun?

-You always ask it hyung. I still have a long way to go.

-I miss going on a weekend trip with you, and with our parents.

-Good idea. Let's go as soon as I have a few days off.

Sunggyu played with his now empty paper cup in his hands. He hesitated at first but finally said.

-I'm going to Busan tomorrow.

Woohyun blinked in confusion and asked.

-Busan? Why there?

But he didn't get an answer. Then he remembered Sunggyu had another favorite dongsaeng.

-Lee Sungyeol?

He bit his lower lip and added.

-So you're going to where your heart takes you!

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

 

Hoya didn't expect to see his only friend since childhood in his used-to-be dance studio at all. He was wandering around the place to check if he had packed everything. There wasn't that much to pack but he did as usually people do. His trainer shoes scratched on the unpolished floor, making short screams. He leaned to lift on of the boxes but when he was about to use his power to do it, he heard a very familiar voice. And it sounded too familiar.

-Yo man! What are you doing?

He could imagine how Dongwoo was looking at him confused even before looking up at the elder. It made Hoya smile bitterly.

-Hey Dongwoo.

-Are you moving?

The answer was a single nod from Hoya.

-But… why?

-I have to. I actually sold the studio. To someone who pays me to save Sungyeol.

Dongwoo stepped near and put his hand on his friend's shoulder. He could do nothing for him nor for his brother so just showed his most reassuring smile before saying.

-You will get through it definitely. I believe in you. And Sungyeol is not a boy to give up on his dream easily.

Hoya shook his head and looked down at Dongwoo's feet.

-You haven't seen him recently. He is too broken, too broken to be put together again.

-I hope the surgery goes well.

Then Dongwoo looked around the room with sad eyes. He could see his own eyes in the reflection in the mirrors. His reflection beside Hoya's made it as a photo in an old frame. He turned to Hoya.

-I'm leaving too.

-Again?

-Thank you for helping me for all these months here.

-When are you leaving?

-After the Christmas.

And it reminded Hoya of what Yejin had mentioned the day he was sick in the studio. "You won't see this bad girl again."

-Why are you leaving?

-Oh it's all my own fault. If only I hadn't excepted that case.

-What about the case. Is it related to Nam Sunggyu?

-That guy is actually Myungsoo's brother. Oh Hoya I still can't believe it.

It widened Hoya's eyes as much as possible. And again Yejin's voice was in his head. "I've lost my brother." Which was followed by her next words: "And I think I'm loosing Dongwoo too." So Hoya immediately asked.

-How are you and your wife doing?

And fixed his sharp eyes on the elder's face, waiting to see his reaction.

-We are doing fine… I guess.

So that was true. All she said was true.

They sat down on the floor, leaning against one of the huge wall-sized mirrors and looking at each other in the other mirror in front of them. Dongwoo left a sigh and asked.

-What are you going to do now? I mean now that you are selling this place.

-That entertainment company still sends me invitations to work as their dance instructor. I send an email and accepted their offer. I always wanted to find ordinary kids who like dancing, training kids who are not that rich, not letting them dance on the street till very late at nights. I didn't want them to be like what I was years ago.

He closed his eyes and went on.

-I wanted to support them. But now I have to give up to save my family. The company will introduce me in a new way, you know.

-I haven't been in this kind of rooms for so long. I'd almost forgotten this mirrors show everything. Even the truth that we usually don't see. How did you survive in this room all these years Hoya?

Dongwoo's eyes was fixed on something in the mirror. There was a jacket hung on the hanger on the wall next to Hoya's dark-purple one. Those kind of female clothes would never be found in Hoya's studio. It looked so familiar tough. Was that the same as the jacket Dongwoo had saved money for months to buy it for Yejin's birthday in their first year of marriage?

-Let's take a photo, now that we both are going to walk on new roads.

Said Dongwoo with his eyes brightly shining with something Hoya wouldn't name tears. They used Hoya's cellphone to took a photo which was so different from the photos they used to take when they won the dance competitions back when they were teenagers. Even different from the ones that Hoya's brothers take when he became the first place in young choreographer competitions. Their faces were still with no smile and no thumb-up or V-sign showed.

-Send me the photo later. And also send a photo of your first practice in your new studio.

That was how they said goodbye again.

 

∞∞∞∞∞

 

I should thank you for all your support. Makes me really happy. Hope you enjoy the story till the end. I try not to disappoint you.

Have fun and I hope our amazing Infinite gets No.1 in this week's music shows. Lots of love ♥

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Comments

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Drhr13 #1
Chapter 12: Love it
Diep_Van #2
I like your fic so bad. May I translate it to Vietnamese? ^^
AdrianaInspirit
#3
Chapter 12: Nice job!! Author nim <3 I LIKED THIS BEAUTIFUL STORY!!!!
Thank U !!!!
ajs787 #4
Chapter 12: I really enjoyed your story, dear friend! Especially the way you put such little details like in the last chapter, e.g. Myungsoo using Sungjongie's catch phrase, or Kibum addressing Woohyun as 'my Hyun'. And that moment when Myungjong met after the presentation, it was exact description of their positions on the Monodrama's airport photo from the last year trip to MAMA in Honkong ^_^
sasofy
#5
Chapter 12: Yay it's nice that Sunggyu and Myungsoo reconciled in the end :3 I enjoyed this story! I hope you'll write more gyuyeol in the future~
sasofy
#6
Chapter 8: I feel like I missed some of your previous updates, but I'm catching up now! I'm glad that Sunggyu made up with both Woohyun and Sungyeol, I hope he can get closer to Myungsoo too ^^
ajs787 #7
Chapter 8: I'm really sorry I didn't read and support this wonderful story earlier !
I like how it's complicated in terms of storyline, how it concentrares more on themes of family bonds, friendship and comeraderie which are shown with so much detail and sincere emotions. I even cried when Hoya saw his mother and he blamed himself for everything t_t
Though I think Myungsoo is not right being angry at his adopted family and Sunggyu, he had a happy life before thanks to Ailee's parents, and Sunggyu certainly would've want to find his only family member. I hope Myungsoo gets over this denial phase soon and confesses to Sungjong.
You even put in some Woogyu ^_^
Woohyun, however, he is suffering as well, unnecessarily imo. And now what's happening to Dongwoo and Ailee? I was so happy you put them as a couple...
I'm so going to subscribe to your fic right away, looking forward to the updates!
harlibug #8
Great job! <3
sasofy
#9
Chapter 7: So Myungsoo found out the truth! I wonder what will happen between him and Sunggyu now ><
Jun_ley
#10
Chapter 6: Chapter 6: This is so good!! I love how Myungsoo was so worried about Sungjong, but sad that Sungyeol got hurt :( Can't wait to read what happens next!!! And Infinite's Bad MV SLAYED!!!!! xD