“Bang Yong Guk, are you listening?!” Mr. Jung yells.

I remove my fingers from my forehead, “Yeah. I am.”

“So do you like the idea?” he asks.

“I don’t know…”

“What do you mean you don’t know?! Do you understand that you are being offered a deal by TS ENTERTAINMENT here?!“ The table vibrates as he slams a fist on the table.

“Yeah, I do”.

“So why are you wavering? This should be an easy deal to make. Don’t you want to be a famous rapper? This is your break!”

“I have to think about it”

“THINK?! You shouldn’t have to. Be grateful that TS Entertainment is offering you such a great deal or we’ll look elsewhere for someone else”.

This guy is starting to get on my nerves. “Look. Just because you’re such a big money making Entertainment Company doesn’t mean that I’ll be crazy about being signed under you guys.”

His eyebrows lifts up as if he is confused.

“What, lost for words? I’m not the type who gets excited so easily about things. I need more details about this. More time to think or it might be a mistake signing for you guys.”

“Why would it be a mistake? Don’t you want this? To be a Korean idol?? Going with us will help you. Or do you want to join SM?”

“It’s not like that. I don’t know I even want to join any entertainment. I don’t want my style of music to change to junk that the media thinks is great these days.”

“I uh…” Mr. Jung looks taken back.

“Sorry,” I calm down. “I'm not sure if I want to leave my long time friends for a kpop band. It's not bad being where I am not as an underground rapper"

“Ohh, I see”, I can tell that he has a different feeling about me now. "sorry that I came across like this... But to be honest, we need you. Your rapping is really powerful and its better than what we were looking for. But we're not going to waste this talent of yours in a plain, everyday boy band".

I take a last sip of soju and tell him, "I'll think about it, K?" He grabs my hand to shake it, "I have your phone number and will contact you later. I hope you decide to work with us"

***

"Soo. How was your meeting with TS Mr.Bigshot?" I give Maslo a glare as I throw the keys to the apartment on the table.

"Yeah, your leaving us for some BOY BAND" Csp's eyebrows goes up as he hisses out the last two words. I kick off my shoes and fall back into the couch spreading my legs out and positioning my hands behind my head. "Oh, so you think you can just walk in and just sit back and relax?" Maslo was really trying to get me to crack... and he does...

"Oh my GOD! Would you just SHUT THE HELL UP and give me a break?! You've been giving me crap like this for two weeks now. When will you stop?!"I let out a breath and stare them in the eye.

  Csp's jaw hangs open while Maslo keeps going, "How can you just leave us like this? Tell me, WHY?!" He swallows taking a pause and then makes his tone softer, "Why are you leaving Soul Connection bro? We've been friends since forever. You can't just leave us like this." He has a point there. It's unthinkable to break up this - our band. "I know, I don't want to either," I look down on the floor.

 "So don't join TS" Dj Tiz walks into the room. 

"I need to go out" I tell them still looking down, and get up.

I grab my leather jacket, put it back on, grab the keys and head out.

When I'm outside, I let out my frustration by punching the brick wall of the building.

I walk fast in the city lights under the moon, trying to back in the water forming in my eyes. I get in a taxi and give the driver the directions to my destination.

I exhale a breath, close my eyes and lay back in the backseat of the car while it zooms by a river.

"Hey, wake up. This is the place right?" the driver asks.

I looked through the window for the familiar, white hospital building. Nodding my head, I say, "Yes"

"Okay, that will be 2500 won", I take out my wallet, find a couple of bills and hand it to him, "Here." I get out the taxi and run through the sliding doors of the hand sanitizer smelling building.

"Can I have a visitor's pass?"

"Yong Guk, here it is. I already took it out when I saw you behind the sliding doors" the nurse hands me it. I grab it and press the button on the elevator. Not being able to wait the ten seconds, I pull the door to the staircase open and skip up the steps.

When I get to room 305, I put my fast pace to a halt and gently open the door not wanting to wake her.

She's under a white blanket in a bed with tubes connected to her. She's breathing through one of the tubes. Her eyes are closed. I wish they were open.

I sit down in a chair next to her and look her over. She looks so weak. "Mom, are you okay?" She doesn't reply. Of course she can't. "Mom, Don't worry, this isn't the end. I..."

I hesitate, "I'll get you out of this." I lift my fingers up and bring them to her gray hair. "I will."

When I am out again, I take my cell phone out and dial Mr.Jung's phone number. One ring... two rings... "Hello?"

I take a breathe and then without stalling any longer, I say, "I'll do this. Make me an idol."