Areum's POV

I glanced at the door. I was hoping he'd come and knock, ask me if i'm alright, bring me into his arms, but those were just false hopes that won't happen— at least that's what i thought..

I fell back onto the bed, only to have myself sit up again when there was a buzz coming from my phone. I groaned in annoyance before grabbing my phone that was  resting on the night stand. 

I sighed when i the screen lit up, screening a reminder on something i didn't wish to be reminded of. "It's been a year already?" I asked out loud, but it came out more like a statement than a question.

A year since my parents accident. A year since my parents were gone. A year since they left me all alone in this scary world. It wasn't necessary to make a reminder of their death, but sometimes, i get so scared that i might actually forget them since they no longer exist in this world. I was positive that i'd never forget them, but they were so important to me that i just had to be reminded on how long it has been since they've gone..

I'll have to visit them at the cemetery.. I'll go tomorrow. I don't have a reason to stay here anyway. I was thinking of asking Sehun to accompany me and maybe we could wander around Ulsan for awhile but i didn't feel like troubling him. I didn't feel like being with anyone at the moment. 

If only i could bring Jongin along with me, show him the grave to my parents although it wasn't compulsory. But that wouldn't happen anytime soon because i'm sure he has plans with Jieun.

I don't know what we are right now. Ex-lovers? Lovers? Friends? I don't know and the more i think about it, the more my head hurts. The more my heart aches. The more my tears would threaten to fall. 

I laid back on the bed, adjusting the pillow to my likings and then pulling the comforter all the way up to my neck. I shut my eyes, allowing a drop of tear to run down my cheeks. I'm coming mum, dad..

The next day

Author's POV

6 a.m.– Areum was the only one up, already showered and getting ready for the day. She wore a black halter top with a green parka over it and a simple light blue jeans. She put on her white converse and brushed her hair to the side. She had light make up on her face because there really isn't a need to impress anyone when she was there for a different purpose. But she made sure to apply the right amount of concealer especially under her eyes that distinctly showed how much she's been crying.

She took a few clothes from her closet, just incase she'd be staying in Ulsan for a few days then placed it in her bag. She grabbed a good amount of cash and kept it safely in her wallet before placing it deep inside her bag. She was planning to stay in Ulsan for a day or two and since their house had been sold, the only option she had was to stay in a hotel for the meantime. 

Before she headed downstairs, she took a sticky note from her desk and wrote a short note to inform Jongin where she'd be— just incase he would wonder. 

I'm off to Ulsan just for a few days. It's my parents death anniversary. Breakfast is on the table..

-Areum 

She headed out of her room and pasted the sticky note on Jongin's door before making her way down to the kitchen. She could have just left and not even bother about making breakfast but she wasn't the type to not care about others.

She made her usual scrambled eggs and ham sandwich, which took no longer than 10 minutes to prepare and placed it neatly on a tray before covering it.

With her own sandwich in her hand, she took a bite as she walked out the house, opening and closing the door silently so that it wouldn't be heard by the two sleeping beauties.

She called a taxi earlier on since she wasn't sure when the first bus in the morning would arrive. Going to Ulsan would take a good five hours and since she was going to be there alone, she might as well be early. 

The train to Ulsan arrived after an exact 15 minutes of her waiting at the station. She entered and settled in her sit, hugging her bag as she leaned her head back on the sit.

She watched as a family of three bid each other goodbye on the platform. A young man was hugging an older lady—probably his mum, while the older man beside the lady, who seemed to be his father, just stood beside them quietly.

The lady was crying in her son's arms and it created a crack in Areum's heart. She reminisce the times when her mum would cry after having an argument with her or her dad. Her eyes started to get watery.

She regrets that she wasn't there to hold her mum when she was down. She regrets that she slammed the door on her in the middle of the argument. She regrets that she couldn't fulfill her desire to make her parents happy everyday. 

But she can only regret because there's no way she'll see them again and make things better for them. She closed her eyes, letting a drop of tear roll down her cheeks.

Jongin's POV

6.30 a.m. – I was up early and i didn't know why. Maybe because i heard some faint noises that it woke me up in an instant— although i don't wake up that easily in the morning..

I wasn't really sure where the noises came from or what it was, but it did manage to wake me up from my deep sleep— and that usually doesn't happen. I stayed in my bed, leaning against the headboard as i thought of how i would talk to Areum later. 

Maybe i pushed it a little too far now but since i already started it, i'll just have to face the consequences later. I don't plan on asking her for forgiveness through little gifts or sweet surprises like roses and jewelry— i don't want to make her feel like a burden. I'm just going to talk to her and tell her why i'm doing this. That it was for her own good. That she'll be more ready if anything did happen to me. 

Because if things happen and i'm not there for her, i don't want her to be suffering alone. 

I moved myself to sit by the sides of the bed, my legs meeting the cold floor. I yawned and ruffled my already messy hair. Stretching out my arms lazily, i grabbed my phone under my pillow and checked the time. 6.35 a.m.

Then i stared at the screen of my phone, where Areum's picture fitted perfectly. She would never let me snap a proper picture of her, so basically, every picture of her that i ever own is a candid of her—a perfect, beautiful candid that looked like it was intended. 

It was picture of her tugging her hair behind her right ear, revealing her perfect jawline and slim neck. I caressed her virtual cheeks and smiled to myself. She's so beautiful. And now that i think about it, I haven't kissed her for a long time now. Yes, 1 and a half weeks is a long time to me when it comes to skin ship.

I long for her touch, for her kiss, for her hug, for her attention, for her floral scent, for her laugh—i long for her.

But it's also my fault that I haven't been getting any of that. 

I kissed the screen of my phone and stood up. I opened the door and it only took me 4 steps to reach the front of Areum's door. I'll get that kiss today— well, that just made me sound like a ert. 

I knocked on her door and with just one light knock, the door creaked slightly and opened without me using much force. My heart started to pump faster, knocking my chest. I scanned around, spinning and turning like a mental patient. "Areum?" i called out.

I checked inside her closet— it was huge and who knows she'd hide there? I pushed the door to her bathroom. Empty. I groaned in annoyance and ran out of her room, hoping that she'll be downstairs, cooking breakfast or watering the plants in the backyard. 

"Areum?!" i shouted this time. She couldn't possibly leave right? 

Author's POV

Jongin paced back and forth in the living room. Then all of a sudden, he punched the empty wall in front of him. "What have i done?" he breathed heavily and watched as his knuckles turn red.

"Jongin?" Jieun called out from the stairs. She rubbed her eyes, trying to clear out her vision. Her hair was in a mess and she was in her checkered pajamas— which Jongin used to find very adorable. With all the shoutings and pacing, there wasn't a way she could stay in bed.

"What's going on?" she asked and walked towards him, keeping a distance away from him because he looked like he was about to hit someone to death.

"Have you seen Areum?" he sighed, his back facing her. 

Jieun scratched her head. She had no idea what was going on in the early morning and she was a little upset that she couldn't finish her magical dream of unicorns and rainbows. "I don't know, i just woke up Jongin. But i found this.." she held up a pink sticky note, the one that Areum left on his door.

It must have dropped when Jongin was opening his door. He turned to face Jieun, making her take a step back in shock when she saw the blood running down his hands. 

He grabbed the note from her fingers and read it. He let out a sigh of relief and combed back his bangs with his fingers. "I need to find her." 

"And how are you going to do that? Ulsan is just as big as Seoul.. Or smaller? Or bigger? I don't know!" she threw her hands in annoyance. 

Jongin gave her a weird look and let out a small laugh. He really wasn't in the mood but Jieun's actions were too cute to not have a reaction to. "I'll look through the whole world if she does go missing." Jongin told her earnestly.

"Oooooooooo~ Jongin-ah, trying to play the cool guy huh?" she smirked and raised her eyebrows playfully. 

"Yeah yeah. Look, i'm gonna go change now. If the traffic's bad, i won't even make it at night. You wanna follow me or?" 

"I'm leaving remember? Mum and dad will be meeting me near the Namsan tour. We're gonna go explore Seoul a little." she grinned, making Jongin pat her own her head. It was irresistible. She was like a child, a pure child who needed some guidance. 

"Arasso, have fun and take care kid." Jongin said and left her in the living room, causing her to glare at him from the back.

After about 15 minutes of bathing and 5 minutes of changing, Jongin grabbed his car keys and jogged downstairs. He was wearing a simple white long sleeve shirt with a few buttons at the front undone. His hair was still drenched in water but he couldn't care less. Areum was the only one important right now.

Jieun was just lying on the sofa, probably trying to catch up a few minutes of sleep before she leaves. Jongin snorted and shook his head. "Yah, i'll get going okay." He said, making her sit upright immediately. 

She stood up and smiled goofily at him before throwing herself at him for a hug. "Thank you for everything Jongin. I'll come visit often. And i'll make sure that i create new memories and share them with you and Areum. Annyeong, chingu." 

Jongin caressed her messy hair and smiled. "You'll be fine Jieun and you'll find someone whom you'll remember and be happy with. Takecare, Jieun." He pulled away and patted her head for the last time before heading out the door.

"You go get her! And i'll hide the key under the mat before i leave! JONGIN HWAITING!!" she shouted as Jongin opened the door.

"Okay! JIEUN HWAITING!!" He shouted back and closed the door behind him.

The minute he entered his expensive, black Ferrari, he quickly fastened his seat belt, started the engine and drove off in great speed. If he wanted to meet Areum without being stuck in a jam, there isn't a minute to be wasted. 

"She could've asked me to drive her." Jongin muttered to himself as the thought of Areum being alone started to worry him even more.

5 hours later

While Jongin was trying his uttermost best to stay awake on the road, Areum had already arrived safely in Ulsan. She took a deep breath, inhaling the familiar air of the metropolitan city. 
 
"Ahhh, feels good to be back." Areum muttered to herself, pushing aside all the thoughts on how sad she was or how hurt her heart was feeling at that moment. 

She didn't want to feel depressed. She wanted to use her time in her birth place to heal herself, to let go of the things that only hurt her and just spend her time there to reminisce her past with her parents. As sad as it sounds, remembering her past was better than trying to forget the pain she felt. 

It was close to 12 in the afternoon and since she still had the rest of the day to do anything she ever wanted, she decided to walk around the city by herself before going to the cemetery. 

First of all, she tried finding a budget hotel that she could stay in for a night— or two. She wasn't sure how long she wanted to stay, but if not being in Seoul allows her mind to rest for a bit, she'd rather stay a little longer. 

She managed to find a hotel close to the train station and also the shopping areas. There wasn't much in Ulsan compared to Seoul but she preferred her hometown— simply because that's where she was brought up in. 

She entered the hotel room. It wasn't anything great but it wasn't that bad either. It was just a simple room with a single bed. Clean and cozy. That's what matters. 

She hung up a few of her clothes she brought from home and took out her wallet from the bag. She wanted to wander around for a while and she didn't want to be carrying a big, fat bag around like a tourist. 

Placing her wallet into the insides of her parka—very convenient— she headed out the door and made sure it was secured before leaving the place. Just like how Jongin always does it. 

She had no aim on where she was going but she didn't mind spending her time getting lost there— it was her hometown after all. 

But a certain place suddenly came across her mind and she knew she needed to visit it while she's still there. Home.

Taking the bus took only about half an hour and when she arrived, she immediately felt a sentimental warmth seeing the familiar place. There was no way she'd be allowed to enter her apartment but being around the area was enough for her. 

"It's still the same.." she said to herself and smiled sadly. There was an exercise area and a playground just below her apartment. She walked along the pathway, watching little children run around the playground as though a giant was about to capture them.

She felt bitter. The children reminded her so much of how she and Sehun used to play with each other all day long that they didn't even bother making friends with the other kids. It was a cute memory— just the two of them having fun and not having to worry about anything at all. 

Jongin's POV

"Ughh.. This ." i groaned once i stepped out of the car. 

I stretched my arms out wide and let out a satisfying yawn. Gosh, five hours of driving really is tiring. Well not the driving, but just sitting in the car was exhausting. My body has gotten all tensed and stiff. 

I punched my shoulders for a while before buying myself a drink at the convenience store. The things i do for Areum is just.. Wow. What has that girl done to me?! I wanted to be mad because she left without telling me first. I wanted to be upset at her for allowing herself be alone. But I couldn't seem to do that because i was part of the reason why. I still didn't think she should have left though..

I didn't realize how long i've been thinking about Areum that the bottle of water was now empty. I went back into the car and started the engine. Finding her wouldn't be so easy now but i'll just have to find a cemetery i guess... 

That wouldn't be so bad right? Well, i've been to one of the cemeteries here, so i might as well start the search there. Oh god, please make this easier for me. Please help me find my girl. I need to see her. 

I could have just stayed at home until she comes back but would I actually do that? No. Because she's all alone. And i miss her. And i want her. I can't stand not seeing her or not knowing what she's doing at the moment. I can't stand not having her around me. I just can't stand not having her here with me.

Author's POV

After walking around her apartment building, she finally decided to go to the cemetery. She entered a bus that will take her straight to her destination and walked straight to the backseat. 

She took out her phone and plugged in her earphones. It was going to be a long one hour bus ride and a little music would help kill some time. 

As soon as her earphones were in, Sam Smith's Lay Me Down started playing on her phone. She chuckled bitterly and leaned her head against the window.

Images of Jongin's dance started to flash in her mind and she felt choked just by reminiscing the sweet memories. What went wrong? She didn't know. But she knows that whatever happens will just remain as a memory and will not reoccur again. 

She genuinely wishes the best for them but she wasn't sure how to let him go. She could try to be happy for him, but that will all just seem very fake and forced. Find another boyfriend? That won't be easy when she just got her heart broken by her first love.

She closed her eyes. She told herself she wasn't going to let the thoughts from Seoul follow her back to her hometown. As her thoughts flooded along with the music, she slowly started to doze off, knocking her head into the window ever so often. 

An hour later

Areum woke up a few minutes, just before she arrived the cemetery. She woke up just in time before her head could form a bruise from all the unintentional head knockings. She was glad that it was still bright and sunny because cemeteries always gave her a chill at the back. She didn't feel comfortable at the thought of having spirits wandering around her in silence. 

She bought two flowers from an ahjumma who was just sitting in her booth, listening to the radio as she guarded her beautiful flowers. "Thank you." Areum gave her a sweet smile and bowed respectfully.

With slow steps, Areum walked down the grass, between rows of headstones that filled up the whole land of grass. 

She stopped moving when she found the two headstones, side by side, carved with both her parents names. Cho Joohyuk. Lee Minjung. 

She bent on her knees and ran her fingers against their names. "Umma, appa.. I came.." She said and placed the flowers in front of their headstones. 

"I miss you." she let out a weak laugh. "I won't ever stop missing you." Unknowingly, a drop of tear started to run down her face. 

"Aish, stupid tears.." she wiped her cheeks and eyes before she could start crying in the middle of the cemetery. 

"I won't cry. Andwae." she let out a breath and tried to calm herself down. 

"Umma, appa... Jaljinaeyo? I hope you're both okay, because i am.." Am i really okay? "I really miss you guys.." she caressed the stones and started tearing up again.

"What's wrong with me?" she asked and was bawling by then. She tried wiping away her tears but they were coming down uncontrollably like a waterfall. She had no control over them.

"Mianhe..." she whispered as her tears continued wetting her face. 

"I wish you were here.. I wish you could tell me what to do now.. I wish i could still hear your naggings umma.. And appa, i wish you were here to protect me like you always did.." she sniffed.

"I don't know what to do now umma, appa.." she shook her head, thinking about the things she tried to avoid all along.

"I didn't know love would be this hard..." she chuckled bitterly.

"How did you guys put up with each other for 29 years? I can't even last 2 months with Jongin.." she bit her lip when she mentioned his name. 

"I wish you were here to tell me that everything's going to be okay. That this heartbreak will be over soon. I wish you could hold me in any one of your arms and tell me that you're there for me, that there's no reason for me to cry anymore.. Umma, appa, why does it hurt so much?" she was shaking. She was still trying so hard to hold back her uncontrollable tears but there was no point. 

"I did the right thing didn't i? Jongin loves her. Jieun loves him. So i guess i did the right thing.. But why do i feel this way then? Why can't i stop weeping over him? Umma, mianhe.. For not focusing on my studies more like how you always wanted me to.." she chuckled and sniffed.

"And appa, i'm sorry for rushing into a relationship.. Remember when you raised your voice at me for having a crush in third grade?" she laughed at the memory of her dad being all protective and fatherly over her.

"I know you wanted me to wait until i find that one man.. That one man i'll spend the rest of my life with.. And i swear, i thought i did.. But i guess i was wrong about him.. I guess he isn't the one for me.. I fell in love with the wrong guy.." 

"Mianhe... For not listening to you.. Umma, appa, watch over me well.. You'll guide me through this right? Your daughters' going insane here and she needs you. I love you umma, appa. I know you're somewhere, listening and watching me right now. I miss you guys and I love you so much.." her voice shaky and soft towards the end as she started crying hard silently. 

She placed a kiss on the palms of her right hand and touched their engraved names—leaving a kiss behind. 

She stood up shakily and swept the invisible dirt away from her jeans. "Annyeong~" she did a blow kiss and waved as if they were sitting there, waving back at her. 

She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to stop herself from shaking and crying. She turned around, seeing a long black shadow casting the grass.

Her eyes travelled from the ground to the persons' eyes. "Jongin.." she said but it came out so soft that it was barely heard. 

His lips slowly turned into a soft smile, making her heart beat rapidly at how much she missed it. "I think you owe me a kiss." he didn't smirk, he just smiled gently towards the fragile girl in front of him.

Her lips was quivering and she burst into tears when she couldn't hold it in any longer. She just stood there, crying to Jongin and making him feel terrible inside knowing that he was part of the reason for her tears. 

He still had his soft and gentle smile on his face as he took a few steps forward. He kissed her on the cheeks before pulling her into his arms. 

"Mianhe Areum-ah..." he told her, droplets of tears forming on the corners of his eyes. He blinked them away as Areum started hitting him weakly on his chest. 

"You can't be here." One punch.

"Go away." One punch.

"You're so mean." One punch.

"I don't want to see your face." One punch.

"I hate you." One last punch.

"But i love you." He said and pulled away. 

He cupped her cheeks and grazed them softly. "I love you Areum."

"No you don't, you love Jieun." she shook her head and tried to remove his hands from her face but failed.

He sighed. "Let's get out of here and talk. It's rude to do it here." He grabbed her hand and pulled her together with him. He wasn't giving her a choice because her stubbornness wasn't getting them anywhere.

And Areum didn't bother arguing because she needed to hear what he has to say— especially when he came all the way to Ulsan to see her. Even if her head tells her to get over him, her heart tells her to stay.

When they were out of the cemetery, he brought her all the way to his car. They stood outside of the Ferrari, standing in front of one another with Areum staring at the ground to avoid his eyes.

"Look at me." he said but she only stayed silent and shook her head.

Jongin then brought his hands to her chin and tilted her head up to the point where their eyes finally meet. 

"I love you. Not Jieun, not anyone else. I've said this a thousand times but it's okay, because i need you to remember that I only love you Cho Areum." he confessed.

Areum shook her head, doubting his words. The scene of him hugging Jieun kept flashing in her mind and she couldn't bring herself to believe him that easily. 

"No you don't. You don't love me Jongin. Why are you lying? If you loved me, why did you act like Jieun was your girlfriend? Why did you just leave me hanging? Why did you ignore me like we had nothing?" she asked, her eyes getting blurrier by the minute.

"Because i thought it would be for your own good." His head dropped. He buried his head into her shoulders, hiding the threatening tears that was starting to form.

"And i wanted you to fight for me." he pulled her closer.

"But you didn't..." he whispered.

"I didn't because i wanted you to be happy with whoever you choose. And you chose Jieun, so i-" 

"I choose you Areum. I would never want to be with anybody else. What you saw with Jieun and I back there was just a plan that i set up. And i'm sorry because it was really immature. I just wanted to see if you'll actually do something about it. And i wanted you to feel the pain of seeing me leave you for a moment, so that when i leave this world later, you'll be prepared. You won't be in pain. You won't be hurting and you won't need me to be there for you." he explained while she remained silent. Speechless but touched at the same time.

"It's stupid.. I know." he chuckled.

Areum pulled herself away from him and gave him a playful glare—the one that says 'l really hate you, but i love you more'. She sniffed and rubbed her teary eyes before punching him on the chest again.

"Pabo." she bit her lips.

"You didn't have to do that you fool. You know i love you so much. I have no one else besides you Jongin."

"That's not true, you have Sehun." he added, making her heave a sigh.

"You know what i mean Jongin.." she gave him a soft smile.

"Well, you look like you don't care at all sometimes." his face fell as he admitted to her.

There were times where he was hurting inside, silently, seeing that she doesn't respond much to the way he shows his love towards her. As a guy who once lost his precious gem, he needed some reassurance now that he gained something more valuable than what he lost. But sometimes, he doubts the love they shared, because Areum doesn't always show it the way he wants her to.

"That's because i didn't wanna look like that obsessive girlfriend who clings onto you forever. I didn't want to annoy you and I didn't want you to get tired of me when you realize how nosy i can be." she told him, being very honest with each word she spoke.

"You're the fool, fool. I'll never get tired of you, you know how i feel about you. Honestly, i'm really afraid of being in love with you because the love i have for you is too big that i don't know what might happen to us in the future. I don't know if i can handle that kind of situation." he told her, still not breaking the eye contact.

"That's what I thought..." she whispered. She stopped crying somewhere in the middle of the conversation. Her cheeks were stained with the tears she shed.

"Look, i was wrong okay.. Jieun was right. We shouldn't be worrying too much about what may or may not happen to us, because everything lies in the hands of god. I love you and that's what matters most now. I'm sorry for putting you through the tears you shouldn't even be shedding." he said, pulling her arms so that they were standing closer to each other, leaving a tiny gap between their faces. 

"I was so afraid of losing you Jongin. I really thought i was about to lose you, that you were leaving for real. But i knew something didn't feel right. You have no idea how much I've missed you.." she admittedly told him. 

"Then perhaps this could help." he finished with a smirk and leaned in completely, kissing her soft and red lips that never failed to make his heart flutter.

Moments passed, but no matter how long the kiss is or how much time they spend together, time always seem to pass by in a flash when they're together. But as much as they didn't want to end the kiss, they had to pull away before they go unconscious from the lack of breath.

The smirk on Jongin's face doesn't seem to wear off, always teasing and making her embarrassed. Her cheeks were red, but she didn't try to hide it— not anymore.

"I really love you, Areum." he said sweetly.

"And you must never forget that i love you too. No matter what i do or how i act, i love you. I just at showing that i do." she shrugged and giggled, making Jongin peck her on the cheeks at how adorable she was.

"And where is Jieun by the way? Does she know? About us and all.." she looked at him with nervous eyes.

"Don't worry about it. She knows everything and well.. She'll be alright.. It's bout time she starts a fresh, new life. She deserves her own happiness." he smiled softly at the thought of Jieun then returns his attention back to the girl in front of him.

"Now, let's talk about us. We haven't been doing that in a while now, have we?" he had a lopsided grin plastered on his face, teasing her endlessly, making her smile broadly.

As complicating as this is gonna get, i'll never give up on you Areum.

Through this complicated love we share, i'm falling deeper and deeper in love with you Jongin.

The end.

The end!!!! I'm sorry that my endings are always crappy as hell. I tried, really. I'll do better though! I have a lot of scenarios playing in my head, waiting to turn into a fanfic mwehehehehehe :P I'm thinking of a one shot? Or maybe another story¿ I don't know yet.. I'm always so busy and such but yeahh, i know for sure a new fanfic's coming up hehe! Thank you for subscribing, commenting and reading! Reading your comments and knowing that people are subscribing to my story always motivates me to write(or type)! Thank you so much for the support, it means a lot to me.. Do read my other stories! Take care and don't forget to smile okay! ;-) 

-xoxo, pizzalove