Jieun's POV

This school. This place. Everyone. It felt so familiar yet i still couldn't remember a single thing that happened here. I keep thinking that i know who everybody was, where the classes and teachers were, how things go around here, but it was only my mind playing with my thoughts, messing up my head.

Jongin dragged me to a room. A dance studio. I suppose i had a history with him here but then again, my mind was blocked. Every memory from the past was hidden somewhere in my head but it didn't seem like it wants to show itself again, ever. 

"Do you remember?" Jongin asked me as he walked around the room like it belongs to him. 

Remember? Besides remembering the stares of the students, the gossips that was supposed to be whispers, the shock looks on everyone's faces when i stepped into the school like it was my first time— I couldn't remember being here. 

I played with the tips of my fingers and scanned the room. My head was squeezing from trying to remember even the littlest past that I thought it was about to explode. Was that possible? I don't know, and i don't think i want to know.

Jongin leaned against the bars that stretched across the room, like it was protecting the walls of mirrors. He stared at me blankly, no sign of interest in his face as he stands there. Like all of this was done out of force.

I felt nervous to answer him. "N-n-no." 

He chuckled bitterly before he spoke again. "This room was where we first met.." He had a tiny bit of disappointment in his voice, making me feel horrible for not being able to remember the place where it all started.

I stood there, frozen in my position as he continued talking. "It was a Wednesday afternoon. Almost everyone had left the school, but the only ones i remembered who stayed behind was me... And you." He had a small smile on his face, making my heart beat fast. He sat himself on the floor, leaning his back against the mirror and then patting the empty space next to him.

I settled myself next to him and hugged my knees as i listened to him attentively. If I couldn't remember, at least i could still listen and picture what it was like back then.

"I was here, dancing my hearts out all alone, sweating buckets that it soaked my shirt. It was a rough day and dancing was the only way that could cool me down, or so i thought." He smiled bashfully towards the ground as he reminisced the scene. I really do wish i could remember now.

"There you were. Hiding behind the door and peeking through the window like a kid. I caught you of course. I opened the door a little too harshly that you fell to the ground. I still remember the embarrassed smile you had on your face." he chuckled. I must have looked ridiculous.

"Then out of the blue, you started to introduce yourself, while you were still on the ground. So i thought, what a weird girl. I thought you were just one of those girls that just wanted my attention. I ignored your presence despite the fact that you told me your name. But when you told me how amazing and magnificent i danced, i was taken aback. Nobody actually acknowledged my dance because I didn't really let anyone see it honestly. And ever since that moment, i payed more attention to you." he finished with a sigh.

He turned to look at me then back to the floor when he saw no signs of recognition on my face. He chuckled softly. "I guess you don't have any idea how it happened, do you?" 

I shook my head and let out a soft sigh. "You don't know how much i want to remember Jongin. It's really frustrating to have someone telling me a story that i've actually been involved in but have no memory of it. It's like my whole past has been erased. Like theres no way i'd be able to remember it again." 

I blinked my eyes to prevent the threatening tears to spill out of my eyes. I didn't want to cry in front of him. I wasn't sure if he'd stay by my side if i broke down. I didn't want to look weak when i've been gathering all the strength to meet him again. 

Author's POV

It's not her fault she can't remember. It's not her fault that the accident happened. Jongin thought as he placed his hand on Jieun's. 

Although Jieun's sudden arrival unintentionally caused him and Areum to be distant from each other, he couldn't just put the blame on her. She didn't do anything wrong to begin with. Coming back was unexpected. And it was only because of the accident that occurred 2 years ago. 

"It's okay Jieun.." he told her comfortingly. Those words were suppose to encourage her, to motivate her, but why did it only defeat what it perceived to be? Why is it that she wasn't okay after all the comforts that were given to her? Why couldn't she just live like a normal girl?

She shook her head. "It's not okay Jongin! Please, don't tell me it's okay when you know it's anything but okay!" she stood up. She didn't know why she felt so angry suddenly but she couldn't stand it anymore. 

"Everyone tells me it's going to be okay, every single day. But the truth is that nothing is going to be the same again! I can't remember Jongin! I want to remember so badly, this school, my first kiss, the reason for the scars i have and most importantly, i want to remember you!" She said, almost shouting. 

She grabbed her hair and pulled it like she was going insane. Then she wrapped her arms around herself, the tears she tried to hold back streamed down her face without a warning. "I can't do this anymore." she whispered, quivering.

Jongin stood up and approached her. He pulled her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders protectively, resting his chin on her head. He caressed her hair as he let her cry into his chest. If he couldn't love her anymore, if he couldn't make her remember what they used to have, the least he could do now was to be there for her— to make up for the time when he couldn't have done that ever since the accident. 

"Shhhh, don't cry Jieun.. It's really okay if you can't remember. It's okay if you can't remember me. Because some things are meant to be forgotten.." 

"I'm so sorry Jongin. If i had one wish, it would be to remember what's lost again." she said while pulling away from him.

"But you can't, because reality is cruel. Jieun, remembering isn't important. Well, it is but if your head can't allow that to happen, then just let it go. Let go of the lost memory, stop searching for it again." he told her, making her nod at how true he was.

"Fill up that little head of yours with new memories that you can keep forever, like writing over something that was erased. Its okay to start over a new life Jieun." Because i already did and it changed me into a better person.

Jieun wiped her tears away with the back of her hands and smiled softly. "Maybe because i was just so curious of what it was like back then that i didn't want to give up. When i looked through the pictures i have in the room, i looked so happy and free. And maybe that's why it didn't allow me to let the past go, because i wanted to know so badly how it felt before i had the accident." 

Jongin nodded his head and gave her a smile. He understood perfectly what it felt like but he managed to surpass that thought when someone else managed to grab his heart. 

"Thank you Jongin. For telling me that 'it's okay' not to remember and not 'it's okay' because i will remember." she said and threw her arms around Jongin for one last hug. A long lasting and meaningful hug that she was determined to keep as a memory until her last breath. 

You guys made up.. I'm glad.. Areum said to herself as she hid behind the door, observing them through the window.

The hug was long, no one spoke, no one moved. Areum took a step back away from the door, away from the painful sight, away from seeing her first love embracing his first love.

She left and the two only pulled away from each other then. "I sincerely hope that you'll find the perfect girl for yourself." She patted him on the shoulders like how a friend would do when giving encouragement to another.

The smile on Jongin's face faded slowly, making Jieun raise her eyebrows in confusion. "About that.." he smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of his head.

The truth was about to be told but he wasn't so sure how it would turn out. Lying to Jieun was never an option because when she finds out, she'll flip and that was one side of her that he could never get used to. 

Areum's POV

There's no reason to be sad Areum. This is what you wanted. And this is what you'll get. At least you helped her. At least his happy. 

So this is how it feels like to have your heart crushed by the person you love? Funny, because i expected it to feel worst. But then again, maybe i've been expecting this to happen way too much that i was somewhat prepared for it. 

I truly am happy that things worked out for Jieun, for them. But why do i feel like my heart was being stepped on a million times. I felt betrayed and deluded because he hugged her when it was clear that he didn't have a single bit of interest in helping her half an hour ago.

I shouldn't be thinking this way. No. I shouldn't. Jongin didn't do anything wrong, he did what i wanted him to do. I have no rights to feel sad or let down because this is what i asked for anyway. 

But how could i? Oh my god, i love him and it's making me insane. It makes me lose my mind because i have to sacrifice the love i have for him. His my boyfriend but i'm allowing another girl to have him. But she's not just another girl. She's Jieun, the girl he fell in love with first. 

I can't let this feelings get to me. She deserves him. They shared something from the beginning, before i even entered this school. They never did end to be precise. But me. I was just another girl that he fell in love with because he thought he lost her. To think of it, if there was no accident, if Jieun was still perfectly fine—mentally in this case— they'd probably be celebrating their third anniversary soon.

Me? I had only been in a relationship with him for no longer than a month and 1 week. I guess it's safe to say that they were meant for each other. That i was just another girl sent to him for an experience and nothing else. 

I sat down on the roof top as the air of loneliness slowly surrounds itself around me. From the start, I legitimately thought he was the one for me. But i guess we weren't destined to be together. 

Why must falling in love be so difficult and complicating?

Annyeong!!! Story is coming to an end guys )-: Probably the next chapter or so... HUHUHU I hope my stories don't bore you... Because i love writing(or typing)! I have a new fanfic in mind and hopefully, i'll post it up if i'm not so busy. Support me my wonderful readers! I read your comments and it makes me so hyped hahahaha! Take care darlings 😘 
 
-xoxo, pizzalove