After  the incident everything went to .

The night of Zitao’s birthday was chaos trying to take control over an unstoppable force.

The first day after the incident the agents managed to get most of the control over the news broadcasts, coercing each channel to not even mention the events near the park. But people weren't quiet, not when smart phones and social media was at their hands reach. Agent Maxwell’s team tried to cushion the impact social media would have, erasing accounts, statements and any video upload. But this time there were too many witnesses and there was no way to control the use of the Internet. The exposure was too evident and the audience too loud.

By day two the boys were the number one search in South Korea and an increasing trending topic in other countries. People were smart to connect the boys from the park with the old videos of the incident at the highway. Agent Maxwell was right to believe there was at least one sneaky person out there who still conserved a copy of the video of them at the highway. The agents had the local news claim it to all be an internet hoax, just bored people with talented editing skills wanting to cause a stir and an instant media sensation. But there were too many people claiming to have witnessed the incident -more than there should’ve been. Soon independent reporters began to broadcast through social media the possibility of humans with ‘superpowers’ living amongst the ‘innocent and defenseless population’, emitting opinions and enticing rumors to spread out like wild fire.

People began to remember the weird incidents of the collapsed dome and the news footage of the mad scientist who died from creating mutant monsters. Soon the speculations were connected and it wasn't just a matter of what was being said through social media anymore -it was much worse. Groups organized a rally, calling for the whole population of Seoul to march the streets to protest against the government for hiding monsters amongst civilians and threatening their lives.

Upon finding such notices online and even broadcasted through independent reporters, the agents were quick to call the National Police Agency to inform about the storm that was going to hit the city.

By day three the boys knew nothing would ever be the same and that the time they had living securely in Seoul was short lived. They had to have their hairstyles changed so people wouldn't recognize them as the mutant teens with colorful hairs. They all ended up varying from brunettes to black, a more common and less noticeable range of hair color -Baekhyun ended up being one of the brunettes.

Hundreds of thousands of people rallied the streets in protest against the government for hiding these monsters amongst civilians, claiming them to threat their security and even to the extent of accusing the boys of the little kid’s tragic death. One would think that their failed attempt to save the kid would show the heroic side in them, the one daring to put their lives in danger, to jump in front of a truck to save an innocent child. But instead it induced the opposite effect: fear towards the unknown, the different.

The people made their statement and got their point across with the massive convocation to march the streets of the ever busy Seoul, completely paralyzing the city. They were against having ‘monsters’ living amongst them and they wouldn’t stop until their demands were met.

It was hard for the boys to accept that these were the people of the society they lived in. These narrow minded intolerant people who were incapable of accepting differences and getting to know more about them before severely judging them and wanting to exile them from the country.

But what the Agents feared most was having their location exposed. They mentioned that they would have to move away for some time in order to keep their location secret.

Baekhyun might not have known what they really meant by that at the time, but he wasn't stupid either. He could tell by the way Zitao wouldn't stop tearing up every now and then, being needy and clingy like never before, wanting to hug each member whenever he had the chance. He noticed the anxious glances Kyungsoo would cast towards Jongin, spending as much time together as humanly possible. Baekhyun knew for sure that Lu Han was the only one who knew what was happening, what the agents were truly planning, but he never said anything about it. He never spoke up no matter how much Yifan and Junmyeon would pester him -and Baekhyun knew that something bad was going to happen, something Lu Han couldn't even bring himself to voice out.

It was hard to cope. After the incident no one wanted to talk about it but their surroundings screamed the harsh truth. They weren't safe after all -not when society was so closed and fearful towards the different ones, the minorities, the freaks, the monsters.

It was nearing the evening and Baekhyun was at the living room with most of the members and Agents Oh, Kwon and Jeon. They were watching the news on KBS, the only one that decided against the agent's’ request and were broadcasting the rally live. Baekhyun watched with a knot twisting his stomach as a sea of people held hastily made banners and chanted along different rhymes about kicking the ‘monsters’ out of Seoul. People shouting, people screaming, people beating Yonggo drums or blowing whistles to make their uproar louder and stronger, so that they couldn't go unheard. Over a million people marched through the long and spacious Gwanghwamun square close to the Blue House -the golden statue of King Sejong still standing majestic in the middle of the sea of people. There was so many people, that most of them were walking around the outside of the square, for it was impossible for them all to fit in the main street. The police force formed a human barrier in front of Gwanghwamun Gate, making sure the rally did not pass any further or trespass into the ancient Gyeongbokgung Palace.

Soon the current President Lee Myungbak would make an official statement about the whole ordeal, with Chief Park by his side, taking responsibility for the boys. Baekhyun didn’t have a clue what the Chief would tell the whole population of South Korea, and possibly the rest of the world through international news; he didn’t want to ask Agent Choi either. Honestly he couldn’t see how lying could ever help them any further. The people knew who they were, there was no denying that; so what lie would they come up with now? Baekhyun couldn’t think of one, the only solution his tired brain could come up with was escaping Seoul, escaping the city and hiding someplace secluded, like the woods or a cave.

The news reporter had stopped informing about the current facts of the rally and decided to interview demonstrators instead, asking them about their opinion and why they’ve decided to participate in the public manifestation. Baekhyun couldn’t believe the amount of bull those people were saying. It was one thing to be scared of them for having these mutant abilities, but it was completely unacceptable for them to accuse them of the death of the child, especially since Yixing did his best to try to keep the boy’s body intact, sparing his mother from the horrific scene. There was nothing they could’ve done to save the boy but they risked their lives trying, which was much more of a human act than the immobile pedestrians doing nothing more than staring and wailing uselessly. No one was to blame for the kid ran into the busy street on his own, if anyone should feel guilt it should be the person who was supposed to be taking care of the kid, whether a parent, a relative or a guardian. Not them.

Not Kyungsoo who was willing to get hit by a truck in an attempt to shield the little boy from the hit. Not Jongin who didn’t even have a spare second to understand what was happening and only managed to save Kyungsoo out of sheer instinct. And certainly not Yixing for being unfortunate this time to not heal the kid from the brink of death -he died instantly and the healer could not bring him back to life.

The people who claimed they killed the kid didn’t have a speck of empathy in their hearts -they were all driven by hatred and fear, and Baekhyun couldn’t believe how easy it was for them to fall into these mindless accusations. They didn’t care to understand their side of the events, they didn’t even try to understand how hard it had been for them and all the sorrow that had taken a toll over the whole group after the disastrous incident.

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair at all.

The mass of people on the TV screen began to chant again, first one, then another joined and then quickly they all chanted in unison sounding louder than ever.  

‘Freaks, freaks, show your face. Kids should be safe, at any place.

Monsters, monsters, we want them gone. Hell is where they all belong.’

 

Baekhyun couldn’t stand it anymore, he felt angered, he felt sick, but most of all he was scared -scared of how insecure their future felt. Scared of the people on the television screen. He abruptly stood up and briskly made his way up towards his shared room.  

He walked down the hall as he heard a loud voice from the room Junmyeon and Yixing shared. He knew he shouldn’t pry but he couldn’t help it when he knew that Junmyeon was scolding Yixing again.

After Yixing’s break down, he reverted to his old habit of voiding himself from any feeling. It frightened Baekhyun when Yixing was unresponsive again, shutting himself away from the rest of the world. But soon the chemicals effect got him into a new high. A high Yixing was goofy and aloof, but it felt wrong to see him falling back into the clouds when their world was crashing down.

Baekhyun stood beside the door left ajar with his back against the wall to eavesdrop on the conversation.

“Things are for all of us, but you can’t keep doing this to yourself,” he heard Junmyeon say furiously. “This is ing you up.”

“I’m fine,” he heard a soft sluggish voice say.

“You’re clearly not fine,” Junmyeon said enraged. “Just look at yourself, you can’t even move,” he exasperated. “You need to stop this Lay. You can’t be like this when you’re alone, you hear me? How will I’ll ever know that you’ll be alright if you keep doing this to yourself.”

Alone? Baekhyun frowned.

“I’ll be okay,” he heard Yixing’s voice speak more clearly. “I just need this now.”

“And next time? Because there’s always a next time Yixing,” Junmyeon’s voice softened, though he kept his angered tone. “You always find some excuse to do this to yourself.”

There was a brief moment of silence.

“I know that what happened was horrible Yixing, but he couldn’t be saved. You can’t save everyone,” Junmyeon sounded more sad than anything -voice weak as if he were about to cry. “You can’t save everyone and you can’t hurt yourself with self-guilt Yixing. You’re destroying yourself like this, can’t you see?”

Only silence followed after his emotional discourse. Baekhyun averted his gaze to the ground as his chest clenched uncomfortably. He felt useless.

“Whatever,” Junmyeon gave up, letting his hands fall against his sides. “I’m done. I don’t want to see you in this state anymore.”

Junmyeon’s figure startled him as the older boy abruptly stormed out of the room. The elder’s concerned gaze locked onto his surprised one for a moment.

“I, I,” Baekhyun gaped as he tried to excuse himself.

Junmyeon shook his head, wiping the sole tear that dared to fall and left the hall, nearly running down the stairs to get to someplace else.

Baekhyun took a moment to recover before peering inside the shared bedroom. Yixing was lying on his bed, arms spread to his sides as he stared at the roof. He knew Yixing was most likely high. Again.

No one had been able to make him stop, not Yifan, not Xiumin, not Junmyeon, not Sehun, hell not even himself. He couldn’t find a way to break into Yixing’s walls. He thought he did once or twice. Back during their confrontation at the bridge, when their hearts beat at the same pace. Baekhyun swore it could mean something, maybe Yixing letting Baekhyun feel the way he did, but still it was a peak into Yixing’s heart -a small crack on the wall. And then right after the incident, after he tried to bring back his healer with the innocence of a kiss, Yixing finally let go of his feelings letting Baekhyun shoulder his pain.

Twice. Just those two moments had Yixing opened his heart to him, letting down his walls, all his defenses.

But how was he supposed to get Yixing to open up when he was high? How was he or anyone supposed to get him back from the invisible clouds, back to reality and all the pain that it carried?

Baekhyun figured there was only one way to find out.

He walked inside the room and closed the door behind him not wanting anyone else eavesdropping like he just did. He made his way to stand next to Yixing’s bed, the latter had his eyes closed as he calmly rested on the bed. Curiosity build in the pit of his stomach, a feeling that rendered him speechless as he took in Yixing’s figure, noticing how the other’s clothes exposed his milky white skin. He could see so much skin since Yixing wore only a white sleeveless shirt with a rose print on the front over black briefs.

“Are you mad at me too?” Yixing asked without opening his eyes.

Baekhyun shook his head as he was still transfixed in a state of wonderment -a curiosity so deep that made him feel as worried and scared as fearful and dauntless. Mixed emotions he couldn’t quite pin point out, yet it kept him there staring, unable to make the first move.

Yixing opened his eyes -hazed gaze looked him up in wonder. “Baekhyun?”

“Let me feel it,” he dared to say, gaining a small confused brow lift from the other.

“What?”

“Scoot over,” Baekhyun ordered so he could lay beside Yixing -even though Yixing only managed to move his sluggish body a mere centimeter or two.

Arms and legs side to side, Yixing’s hazed eyes stared back at him intrigued.  

“I want to feel it Yixing,” he said again as he slid his left hand into Yixing’s right.

Yixing’s eyes searched for something in his own, taking his time to see what he needed to see. “You sure?” he asked.

Baekhyun took a deep breath and nodded, curiosity tugging his insides. If he wanted to help Yixing, he would have to know how he felt.

Yixing didn’t look hesitant but he sure took his time to reply. Yixing moved his hand to interlace their fingers, a small action that made Baekhyun know that he agreed.

“Just this once, okay?,” his tone was serious. “Just this once.”

“Okay.”

“Take a deep breath,” Yixing softly said.

Baekhyun accommodated his head against the pillow, closed his eyes and breathed in deep -relaxing the muscles of his neck and shoulders. The second breath he took felt slow and languid, he was aware of the movement of his ribcage, how it expanded to inhale air. His body felt heavy yet light at the same time, as if he was floating but everything weighed him down and kept him on the bed. Trying to move any limb was too exhausting. He felt a sudden lightheadedness that would’ve knocked him backwards if he were standing. His forehead, behind the eyes, felt so light and clear contrasting how heavy the rest of his head felt, as if it were sinking into the pillowcase. Man he felt so relaxed that his body felt heavy, he was too languid to tighten his muscles and get up.

An elated feeling spur inside as he rolled his eyes -it felt so good when he did that. Moving his eyes was like relieving pressure from a non-existing headache. He let his head lol to the side as he rolled his eyes upwards -he felt so good that guttural moan escaped his parted lips.

Blinking his eyes open at the only sound heard in the room, Baekhyun timidly turned his head to see Yixing’s reaction.

Yixing’s wide eyes stared back at him completely dazed -mouth slightly agape. “Wow,” he whispered.

A stupid smile slapped onto Baekhyun’s lips as he began to giggle. The rumble in his stomach erupted into laughter and soon Yixing was laughing with him. Baekhyun didn’t know why he started laughing, but he felt so relaxed and so elated that the laughter came from the bottom of his heart.

He didn’t know how long they were laughing but Baekhyun didn’t feel like stopping anytime soon. If this was what Yixing normally felt when he was high, then he didn’t care at all for he would also want to escape reality and feel this way whenever he could; blithely laughing as his body relaxed with sedatives. But his mind drifted and he slowly began to realize something -Yixing never laughed when he was sedated or high. Not alone at least.

Maybe the effects were different for Baekhyun and his presence, his laughter, was contagious. Or maybe Yixing used something different on them, something less gloomy and more blissful. Whatever it was, Baekhyun needed to know.

He didn’t know how, maybe it was because of what he was thinking of, but he had stopped laughing -without realizing when or for how long. Yixing was calmly looking at him, gaze tranquil and with a hint of curiosity.

“This isn’t right, is it?”

“What do you mean?” Yixing asked.

“This isn’t what you usually feel right?” Baekhyun dared to say. Despite his hazed eyes and passive face, Baekhyun noticed that Yixing was taken aback by his remark. “You never laugh on your own Yixing,” Baekhyun explained. “What do you normally feel?”

Yixing was quiet and Baekhyun tried to search in his eyes for the truth -because he knew Yixing was hiding something. During the exchange of eye gazing, Baekhyun gradually began to feel different. He still felt a juxtaposition of his body feeling heavy and languid against the bed while feeling as if he was floating in a cloud, but something was different, something was off. He didn’t feel good inside, he didn’t feel anything at all. There was no spur of elation from his chest, no bliss, no laughter. He didn’t feel good whenever he closed his eyes, no pressure relieving whenever he rolled his eyes -nothing, nothing at all and that scared him.

The only way to describe what he felt was that his body and soul turned into a liquid state, floating between existence and making him feel as if he could disappear at any second, evaporating into thin air and never coming back.

He felt out of touch with his boy, with reality. He knew he was holding Yixing’s hand but he felt as if he was drifting away from the other, far away from him. He wanted to catch him, he wanted to keep hold of Yixing, fearing that if he let go he would actually disappear into thin air.

Baekhyun wondered for a split second how Yixing hadn’t gone insane from feeling this way.

He couldn’t feel himself. He knew he was there in the room, on the bed holding onto Yixing’s hand but he couldn’t feel his body. He couldn’t tell if he was lying on the bed or floating away in the air, vanishing from whatever held him into reality.

And that’s when Baekhyun finally understood that when Yixing said he didn’t feel anything at all, he meant it. Yixing avoiding feeling and ran away from any hardship by not existing at all.

“Stop it. Please stop,” Baekhyun said alarmed as he tried to sit up -only managing to lift his head from the pillow. “I can’t feel my legs Yixing,” he said as he tried to move his hands to touch his thighs. “I can’t feel anything at all,” he said frightened -even his voice felt foreign to him, as if it wasn’t coming from his body.

Yixing smiled sadly while using his thumb to caress the back of Baekhyun’s hand as he gradually stopped manipulating Baekhyun’s biochemical levels -body becoming more apparent to his senses, bringing him back to the earlier state of a blissful high, still vaguely in touch with reality and his legs sure as hell connected with his body.

Baekhyun sat up as soon as he could and touched his legs with his hands, making sure they were still intact and glued to his body.

“Holy ,” Baekhyun gasped as he laid back down. Yixing only chuckled, watching him amusedly. “I knew they were there, but I swear I couldn’t feel them. I couldn’t feel anything at all,” Baekhyun explained looking at the other. “I thought I disappeared,” he chuckled despite the fear in his voice.

He blamed whatever chemicals Yixing used to make him happy when he knew he would’ve been freaking out right now.

“Silly,” Yixing giggled.

“Me? Silly?” Baekhyun gawked with a wide smile unwavering from its eternal position on his face. “Hyung, how the hell do you even manage to walk in that state?”

“I don’t” Yixing answered, making them both laugh.

“Idiot,” Baekhyun tried to sound serious but couldn’t stop chuckling. “How do you even know you’re here?” he asked, wondering how Yixing managed to stay intact with reality under such state.

“It normally isn’t this bad,” Yixing spoke softly, nearly whispering. “Normally I feel voided of emotions, but I can physically feel enough to stop it before it gets too… strong. This is the worse it’s gotten,” he admitted.

Despite the depth of the conversation, Yixing didn’t look worried at all. He looked so relaxed, so happy, unlike the past few days. Eyes sparkling in small crescents and smiling as wide as possible, showing off his prominent dimple, Baekhyun swore that Yixing had an ethereal aura around him, making his whole presence shine with blissful warmth.

It scared him. It scared him to know that everything about Yixing was extreme. It scared him that the Yixing he was looking at now, the one so warm and blitheful, the one he longed for the most, could fall into an abyss of nothing and feel nothing -nothing at all.

He didn’t want that for Yixing. He didn’t deserve that.

“It scares me,” Baekhyun admitted, finally being able to gain control over his facial features and put on a serious expression. It took all his energy to move his free hand up and rest against Yixing’s jaw, thumb rubbing soft circles against his skin. “How can you stand doing that on your own? How can you stand feeling nothing all alone? It scares me.”

“Don’t be,” Yixing tried to reassure, relaxing his eyelids to close.

Baekhyun pinched the skin of Yixing’s neck, forcing the other to open his eyes in surprise. “Then don’t give me a reason to fear for you,” Baekhyun said wholeheartedly, making sure that the weight of his words would sink into Yixing’s thick skull.

Yixing stared back at him with mixed emotions, maybe he was touched or maybe he was bewildered by Baekhyun’s words, he couldn’t really tell. All he knew was that they fell into silence and all he could do was memorize every detail of Yixing’s handsome face.

He didn’t know when it started but he could feel the beat of his heart fall into a familiar slow rhythm, beating strong and very much alive. His body felt less languid as the daze of his high gradually died down. He knew that Yixing stopped manipulating his body as it was easier to move around and his senses became more aware of everything he felt. He felt heat burn his insides as he felt that longing to be closer to Yixing, his heart clenching ready to burst at any second.

He felt his breathing become heavier as he looked from Yixing’s plump lower lip to his hazed eyes -not from intoxication but a look of determination, as his gaze focused on something lower than Baekhyun’s eyesight.

“Your birthday is tomorrow?” Yixing asked, though it didn’t sound like a question.

“Yeah,” Baekhyun replied nearly breathless as he felt a strange tug in his stomach.

Yixing looked up at his eyes, chocolate eyes gazing so intense and filled with life that Baekhyun felt he stopped breathing completely.

“Happy birthday Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun closed his eyes as he felt the warm pressure soft against his lips. Movements timid at first -he didn’t dare move for he was afraid to scare Yixing away. His heart was beating so strong that he nearly didn’t notice when Yixing slowly tried to back away. Before he could, Baekhyun kissed back. Slow, chaste, just pressing his lips onto Yixing’s to let him know it was alright. He felt Yixing part his lips ever so slightly and dared to kiss back with more pressure, more eager to feel Yixing. Yixing reciprocated with the same intensity, not showing any sign of backing away. The moisture didn’t scare him as they dared to use their tongues to feel a little more and taste each other. Baekhyun could feel the breaths mingle in between as the moisture of their tongues made Yixing’s lips feel softer against his own -the feeling of Yixing’s lips was addicting.

Baekhyun felt so much warmth inside with each beat of his heart. So warm that his lungs began to hurt. He had to break the kiss to breathe properly, alleviating the pressure inside his lungs. They stayed close together letting their breaths mingle in the small space between them.

He cracked a smile, eyes struggling to look away from Yixing’s lips and back to his warm eyes. “My birthday’s tomorrow silly,” he teased.

Yixing’s closed smile showed off his deep dimple. “You never said your birthday present had to be on your birthday,” his soft voice was mischievous.

Baekhyun chuckled, “True.” Baekhyun fell silent for a moment, thoughts rushing through his head. “Hyung, we’re not high now, right?” Yixing answered by shaking his head. “Then..” he rested his hand on top of Yixing’s chest, feeling the beat of his heart fall into the familiar rhythm he learned to love. “Then what I felt -what I feel is your heart as mine?”

Yixing looked confused at first and didn’t have the chance to answer as they heard someone knock on the door. Yixing pulled him close, knocking his body out cold and keeping his head against his chest as if Baekhyun fell asleep on top of him.

“Hyung have you seen -ah, he’s here,” Baekhyun could hear Chanyeol speak.

“He fell asleep,” Yixing lied, whispering to make the scene more believable. “He seemed bothered by something so I let him rest here.”

“Oh,” Chanyeol’s voice was low. “We were watching the news.”

There was a moment of silence, if Baekhyun could move he would’ve tried to see what was going on.

“It’s bad, isn’t it?” Yixing asked concerned and Baekhyun worried as well.

“We’re leaving tomorrow,” Chanyeol informed. “Agent Jeon said Agent Choi will apply Code Exodus or something like that.”

“But, but tomorrow is Baekhyun’s birthday,” Yixing sounded sad and Baekhyun felt a little pain in his chest.

“I know,” Chanyeol’s tone was as sorry as Yixing’s. “They said we’ll have breakfast together and then we’ll have to leave Seoul.”

Baekhyun knew that it would happen. There was no way they could stay in the city with people protesting and marching the street to rally against them, wanting nothing more than to make them leave.

“Should I take him to his bed?”

Baekhyun felt a tug in his heart as Yixing hesitated for a second before answering. “Yeah, that would be better,” he said. “Can you carry him?”

“Yeah,” Chanyeol sounded closer.

Baekhyun wanted to protest, to cling onto Yixing’s body and stay for the night, but his body was useless as he was carried away.

There seriously was no privacy in the house.

 

Baekhyun woke up by a giant jumping on top of him on his bed.

“Happy birthday Byun Baek!” Chanyeol boomed.

“Get off,” Baekhyun groaned as Chanyeol squeezed him in a bear hug. He tried to push the giant off as the other tried to tickle him through the bed sheets, but suddenly he felt teeth against his shoulder. “Holy Chanyeol,” he exclaimed

“It’s a love bite,” Chanyeol excused with a wide grin.

Baekhyun stared in disbelief for a while minute before leaning forward and sinking his teeth into Chanyeol’s arm; a little harder than necessary.

“That hurt,” he complained, leaning back to rub the soreness away.

“Yeah, well love hurts,” Baekhyun said his snarky comeback as he pushed Chanyeol off.

He tried to escape but long arms caught him by the torso and he was pulled back into Chanyeol’s embrace. This time he gave up and let Chanyeol hold him close, enjoying the warmth and affection of his best friend.

“Happy birthday Baek,” he said again, voice calm and sincere.

Baekhyun smiled. “Thanks, egg-yeol.”

 

As promised they had cake for breakfast. Everyone gathered around and tried their best to smile and be happy for Baekhyun, but he could feel the worry behind every smile. He hugged them all and received few presents from the ones who managed to buy one before they were locked inside the safe house -before the incident ever happened and the storm that came after.

He told them many times that he didn’t care about the gifts and only cared about having them all around as they sang and cut the birthday cake.

Zitao walked up to him -his silver hair now jet black again.

“Hand,” Zitao commanded as he held his own hand out for Baekhyun to hold. Baekhyun did as told without thinking twice, laying his hand on top of the younger’s. “Good boy,” Zitao cooed as he petted his head like a dog.

“Yah,” he swat the hand away. “I’m not a puppy.”

“You’ll always be a puppy hyung,” he chuckled, though the laughter didn’t reach his eyes. “Now seriously, give me your hand.”

“What for?” Baekhyun asked skeptically.

“This,” Zitao held out a silver chained bracelet. “Happy birthday.”

Baekhyun smiled and let him put the bracelet on his right wrist. Baekhyun gave him a big hug, it didn’t last too long but when he pulled back Zitao didn’t look happy at all.

“What’s wrong?”

“Sorry, I’m not much in a birthday mood,” Zitao said softly.

“It’s okay,” Baekhyun rubbed his arm comforting, he was well aware of how bad Zitao’s birthday was. “Come here,” he hugged Zitao one more time before letting him leave.

Kyungsoo was the next to approach him. “Sorry Baek, I didn’t get you anything,” he said shyly.

“What are you talking about? You made me a freaking cake,” Baekhyun beamed merrily as he ruffled the other’s black hair, his happy energy managed to make Kyungsoo crack a smile.

“Yeah, well. Agent Cha did most of the work,” he excused as he tried to fix his hair.

“I loved it, thanks,” he said sincerely and hugged the smaller boy little stronger than necessary.

He expected Kyungsoo to lose his temper and push him away from the obnoxious way he was hugging the younger one -Baekhyun even expected a punch in the gut, but Kyungsoo didn’t fight him off or complain in any way. Instead he hugged Baekhyun back, for a good whole minute before letting go. He smiled but Baekhyun noticed a sad glimpse in his eyes, like the way Zitao looked.

“Happy birthday Baek,” he said before leaving and letting the next member approach him.

One by one they all approached him for an individual congratulation, with or without a present to give. Baekhyun received them all with a broad smile and open arms, knowing that the gloomy mood wouldn’t dissipate unless he tried his best to make them smile as well.

“Happy birthday Baekhyun,” Lu Han congratulated again.

Baekhyun let Lu Han hug him for as long as he wanted -a simple gesture to compensate or the lack of presents. Baekhyun swore that he had never hugged Lu Han that long before.

‘You’ll be alright.’

“What?” Baekhyun leaned away surprised.

Lu Han simply smiled and ruffled his hair -eyes full of contradiction as they expressed sorrow instead of happiness.

“Alright guys,” Agent Choi called out into the living room. “I hate to cut this short, but I need you to pack up a few things. Enough clothes for a week and any small belongings you want to take with you. No laptops, nothing big. We’ll replace them later. Alright?” he instructed. “Oh and, leave your cellphones on top of the table please. We have to change those too.”

May 6th, 2012, Baekhyun’s first birthday celebration. Instead of partying he was in his room packing a duffle bag and backpack filled with clothes and other things, and all he could think about in his clouded mind was why Lu Han said those words.

“Hey,” he felt a warm hand  on his shoulder. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun quickly replied. “I think I’m done.”

Chanyeol checked his bag. “There’s still some space. Can I put some of my stuff in it?”

“Yeah, sure,” he shrugged.

“Great, I didn’t know where I could fit my scarf,” Chanyeol said as he tried to fold and stuff in a grey scarf into Baekhyun’s duffle bag.

“Why the hell did you buy a scarf in the middle of Spring?” Baekhyun questioned with sass.

“It’s soft,” Chanyeol replied as he forced a hoodie and some shirts into Baekhyun’s bag. “Help me close it.”

“It’s not going to close.”

“Of course it will.”

“It’s going to explode.”

“No it won’t. Come one help me.”

Baekhyun sighed. It took them nearly ten minutes to close the stupid bag.

 

Downstairs they met in the living room again, the agents were making sure they all turned in their mobile phones. Baekhyun was nervous. He couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was wrong and Lu Han’s words just made him even more paranoid because he knew that if anyone of the group had any idea of what would happen, it was Lu Han. Lu Han could read the agent’s minds and know beforehand every decision -and maybe the telepathic knew something would happen to Baekhyun, something that would scare him but he knew he’d be alright. Thinking that just made him feel even more anxious.

The anxiety completely vanished as soon as he fet Yixing’s hand hold onto his own. Baekhyun couldn’t help the stupid smile settle on his lips as he looked down at their linked hands.

Yixing’s dimpled smile was the last image Baekhyun remembered before they were separated and transported away in individual cars. Agent Choi said it was safer to have them all in different cars and take different routes to lose suspicion.

He should’ve known better.

 

It wasn’t until he was taken inside a private plane that he realized everything was wrong. They made him sit by the window and Agent Moon was assigned to take care of him, sitting next to him and telling him that he’d be alright.

“Stop saying I’ll be alright,” Baekhyun said furiously, eyes tearing out of anger. “Just tell me the truth. Where are the others?”

“In a plane just like this one,” the elder replied.

“Where are we going?” he asked anxiously, knowing something was off.

“A different country, I don’t know where yet,” Agent Moon said.

“Don’t ing lie to me,” Baekhyun threatened, raising his hand.

“I don’t know , kid. I’m just following orders,” Agent Moon shot back unwavering.

Baekhyun knew that when the Agent cursed, then he was telling the truth.

“Then what do you know?” he asked instead, his hands to try to calm down.

Agent Moon gave him a stern look before sighing. “Code Exodus,” he said as he crossed his arms.

Code Exodus -he remembered Chanyeol mention that code yesterday.

“What does that mean, Code Exodus?”

Agent Moon took a moment before answering. “In simple words, it means to get you all the hell out.”

“Where?”

The Agent sighed. “I said I don’t know. I’m not supposed to tell anyone where, so they didn’t inform me to make sure I’d keep quiet.”

The airplane’s engine began to roar even louder, finally moving towards the lane. Baekhyun held onto the armrests of the stiff seat, the fear of not understanding what was happening while being his first time on a plane was driving his nerves crazy.

“Does my group know what Code Exodus means?”

“Honestly kid, I’m not sure,” he replied. “Maybe the other agents assigned to them have told them already, maybe not.”

Baekhyun nodded, feeling the inertia pull him back against his seat as the airplane accelerated -a rumbling sound up-roared. Between the engines, the rasp of the wheels against the asphalt and the wind harshly grazing against the wings, Baekhyun didn’t know what made more ruckus, the plane or his frantic heart.

“Are the others going to be there when we arrive?” Baekhyun asked, feeling his heart beating hard against his ribs.

The Agent gave him a look he never saw before, a mix of concern and pity. “No,” he said. “No they won’t be there.”

“What?” he exclaimed.

“I’m sorry kid.”

“No, no, no. I gotta get out of here,” he frantically said as he hastily unbuckled his seatbelt.

“Are you crazy? Sit down!” Agent Moon pushed him back into his seat. “We’re taking off, put your damn seatbelt on.”

“No! I can’t leave them,” he grabbed onto the seat in front of him to pull himself up.

“No. No Baekhyun stop,” Agent Moon raised his voice as he held tightly onto Baekhyun’s slim wrists. “Either we do this the easy way or the hard way. Either you sit still or I’ll be forced to bound you down and hit you with a strong sedative.”

“But-”

“It’s temporary, kid,” he hurriedly explained. “We’ll keep you apart for a while until the buzz dies down and no one remembers you exist. Okay?”

“I’ll see them again?” Baekhyun asked with a broken voice, tears already flowing down.

“Yeah,” he assured. “Now please, sit the down and fasten your ing seat belt.”

Baekhyun didn’t remember much of the excruciating long flight, apart from fighting with Agent Moon. All he remembered was crying, crying until he fell asleep from sheer exhaustion.

The plane he boarded left from a private airport in Incheon city at 2pm. They flew for twelve hours straight and arrived at Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris, France at 6pm local time. It was hard for Baekhyun to wrap his head around the idea of it still being May 6th, that they just flew twelve hours to remain on the same day while it was already 2am of May 7th in Seoul.

Over twelve hours ago he was still with his group, celebrating his birthday despite all the bad things that had happened. Over twelve hours he still had Yixing holding his hand. Over twelve hours he had Chanyeol helping out with cutting his birthday cake. Over twelve hours he hugged each and every member for the last time in who knows how long.

It took a twelve hour flight to turn around his birthday into the longest and worst day ever.

He didn’t register how Agent Moon and his team lead him through the huge airport and out into a car. The highway passed as a blur as they drove south to the city of Paris. He didn’t even notice any historic monument as they went through streets that lead towards the 19th district. He was lead into an apartment near Jean Jaurés avenue, next to La Villette basin, an artificial lake in the city of lights.

Baekhyun sat on his bed in his new bedroom with a beautiful view towards La Villette lake, water reflecting the bright colors of the twilight sky. It was still May 6th, still his damn birthday. Baekhyun looked down at his unpacked duffle bag and backpack. He suddenly remembered Chanyeol and rushed to the bag. He picked out the big scarf that barely fit inside his stuffed bag. He sat back on his bed, staring down at the soft and grey fabric. It wasn’t cold, but if he opened the window the mid Spring breeze could cool down the room. Once the Parisian air flowed into his bedroom, Baekhyun wrapped the scarf around his neck, covering most of his face with it. Chanyeol couldn’t have worn it more than once or twice but there was his smell impregnated onto the woolen fabric -soft but present.

He kept Chanyeol’s scarf close as he broke down to tears again and waited for the damn day to end.

 

Waking up the next day he felt numb as he recognized being in a new room. Gazing out the window, people were out and about the streets, bustling here and there without a care. He slammed the window shut not being able to bear hearing a foreign language constantly reminding him he wasn’t in Seoul anymore.

He grabbed whatever clothing of Chanyeol’s he could find and put it on. A shirt, another shirt, a hooded sweater, a beanie and Chanyeol’s scarf. He laid on his bed all bundled up in clothing, inhaling deeply in a weak attempt to have Chanyeol’s presence close.

He wanted Chanyeol’s warm hug, not his clothes.

He wanted Yixing’s hand to hold onto his own and make all the pain disappear.

He wanted Zitao’s sassy remark to make him laugh.

He wanted Jongdae’s stupid laugh to cheer him up.

He wanted Junmyeon’s awkward presence to remind him what it was to be looked after.

He wanted Yifan’s calm silence to keep him at ease as he sat beside him drawing on his sketchbook.

He wanted Minseok’s cold demeanour to remind him that he would always be protected.

He wanted Sehun’s mischievous smile to entice him into being his accomplice on a stupid prank.

He wanted Jongin’s dorky laugh to make him feel youthful.

He wanted Kyungsoo’s voice to sing a melody as he cooked for them.

He wanted Lu Han’s telepathy to connect them all together again, to hear their thoughts and believe them to be in the same room as him.

He needed them. He needed them all.

Being alone was even worse that being stuck in the dark. What was the use of emitting light if he couldn’t see his friends around him?

Baekhyun didn’t leave his room at all that day.

 

It was hard for Agent Moon to make him eat and take care of himself -even getting Baekhyun to shower was a hard feat to accomplish. And there was no way Baekhyun would ever leave the flat, not under any circumstance nor empty threats Agent Moon said to try to get him to leave the enclosed room. Baekhyun knew he was making things worse, but there was no way he could bring himself to accept being so far away from his friends -his family.

It made matters worse when Agent Moon prohibited him from having a cell phone. There couldn’t be any communication between the members, for it could disclose their locations. Baekhyun flipped when he realized he wasn’t allowed to know anything about his friends, that he wouldn’t even be able to call them for a birthday greeting. He had one of the worst fights with Agent Moon that night, breaking a glass and threatening to harm the agent so he could get what he wanted. But he ended up slamming his bedroom door and locking himself inside in the dark, with the abnormal glowing markings on his skin as the only source of illumination.

It became some sort of a ritual. Every night he would shine UV light at his skin to remind himself who he was -what he was.

Time passed and after much thought he finally figured why Lu Han, Zitao and Kyungsoo had been acting so weird after the incident. Those bastards knew what was going to happen and they did nothing to warn him, to warn them all that they would be separated and hidden about in different cities, in different countries across the globe.

He didn’t know where they were or how they’ve been. He didn’t ing know anything and that made his sorrow turn into anger.

He hated being stuck in the ‘city of lights’ without knowing where the hell the others where.

It wasn’t until the beginning of June when Agent Moon finally managed to make him take a step outside.

“You look different,” were the first words Baekhyun said to Agent Moon during breakfast. “What the hell did you do to your hair?”

The agent clenched his jaw, letting Baekhyun’s informal speech pass by. “I needed to look a little more similar to you.”

“Why?”

“Because from now on I’m your ‘father’,” Agent Moon explained.

Baekhyun laughed incredulously.

“I’m serious kid,” he insisted as he drank coffee. “I don’t know how long we’re going to be stuck here, so I’ve got to have a less suspicious reason to be living in the same flat as you. I am your guardian after all.”

“So…” he played with his empty mug. “My name now is Moon Baekhyun?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Agent Moon waved off. “It’s Bastien.”

“What?”

“You’re living in France you need a French name,” he simply shrugged.

Baekhyun stared dumbfounded for a good whole minute. “But I don’t even speak French.”

Agent Moon broke into laughter. “I’m just messing with you.”

Baekhyun stared back at the elder, resting his head against his hand. He knew Agent Moon could read, write and speak French fluently which was probably the only reason he got assigned to the sarcastic agent instead of someone kinder and caring, like Agent Cha.

“So what do you do, dad?” his voice dripping with sarcasm as he dragged out the word ‘dad’.

“Novelist, looking for inspiration in the cultural, artistic and bohemian Paris,” he nearly recited.

“That’s bull…” he crossed his arms.

“Yeah, well. Why else would one come to Paris if not for the art?” Agent Moon shrugged.

“The monuments?” Baekhyun suggested.

“Ever been to the Eiffel Tower?” Baekhyun quietly shook his head. “Then what’s stopping you?”

Baekhyun fisted his hands on the table. There wasn’t anything stopping him from walking out the door other than himself. And he couldn’t stand the idea of stepping outside to see he’s in a different city, different country and far away from the group.

Agent Moon stood up. “Come on Baekhyun. You can’t stay locked up forever.” He picked up his keys and unlocked the security system of the door. “I dyed my hair for you. The least you can do is help me out buying some groceries. The fridge is ing empty,” he said before stepping out of the flat and leaving the door wide open as he walked away in the hall.

He his lips nervously as he stared as the opened door -too insecure to walk out, yet too afraid to leave it opened and end up alone in the flat. He stood up and slowly put his sneakers on -the ones he left at the door the first day he arrived.

Cautiously he stepped outside, observing the empty hallway before completely leaving the flat.

“Bastard didn’t even let me brush my teeth,” he muttered under his breath as he closed the door -automatic lock down system activated with a click.

Once locked outside he realized he didn’t know the code to the door nor did he have an emergency key. He also realized he didn’t spare a thought to change his clothes before leaving the flat. He was wearing black sweatpants and a white graphic shirt that originally belonged to Chanyeol -he’d been wearing it for more days than he would like to admit.

It was a bright sunny day with few clouds in the baby blue sky. There were still blossoms in the trees around the block he lived in. Agent Moon was waiting for him at the sidewalk along the rectangle shaped basin -cigarette already lit.

Baekhyun had seen the manmade lake many times from his window, but being up close to the dark water and breathing the slightly humid air felt completely different than observing from behind a glass.

Agent Moon smirked once he noticed him. “About damn time.”

 

Agent Moon was right. If he was meant to spend some time in Paris, he might as well get to know the city. There was so much to see, every crook and nook of the city deserved his attention, whether is was the fur jackets in retail, the large arched windows of the gothic styled churches, the bread sold at the market, even the moss, dirt or litter in the streets caught his eyes. He honestly didn’t expect to see so much filth in the smaller routes around the city, but he did expect the graffiti. There were so many different buildings. Romanesque churches, gothic housings, buildings of the renaissance, baroque, neoclassic, some even more towards a rustic style -the city had it all, even important buildings with domes.

Baekhyun learned how to walk in Paris -walk like he really meant to get somewhere. Parisians seemed to always be in a rush, whether to by the lunch’s baguette or to ride the metro -everyone just walked fast all the time.

Baekhyun enjoyed walking by the Seine river, browsing the artisanal trinkets, books or antiques from the green stands on the street, visiting the different bridges and watching the boats navigate through the river. He had his map always with him to cross out every new monument he encountered. When he reached the Arch of Triumph, he didn’t expect to have to cross an underground tunnel to reach the arch, since the neo classical monument was situated in the middle of a highly busy roundabout -crossing the street was impossible with all the cars. When he finally visited the Eiffel tower -and not just loiter around the park but actually dare himself to go up the tower, he didn’t expect, for the life of him, to be standing above thick glass and be able to see the people underneath from the second floor of the tower -which was already damn high. He nearly had a heart attack believing he would fall.

Up on the tower was very windy, making it fairly cold. There were many attractions apart from sightseeing, a restaurant, a café and even an ice skating rink. But what made his heart yearn most was when he saw the kissing spot mark. There were a few scattered about, a pink circle with a heart on top and the words ‘place to kiss’ written in the middle.

Being on the Eiffel tower made him feel awfully lonely again.

 

He wasn’t proud of his decision of the following night -but he didn’t regret it either. He didn’t really care anymore and just needed to find some temporal substitute for the hole in his heart. That night he ventured through Champs-Elysée avenue and went inside a nearby nightclub -after Agent Moon inspected inside first and made sure there were no UV lights that could expose him.

Baekhyun lost himself in the booming music -too loud to be considered safe. He danced with anyone, he didn’t care anymore as long as someone’s hand was on his waist or vice versa. He couldn’t say that that was the only time nor could he promise it would be the last. The bohemian side of Paris called him in during lonely nights like these. His feet would lead him to the best nightclubs at Champs-Elysée, sometimes he ended up at Le Marais sector, which Agent Moon didn’t approve of at all but neither did he ever stop him from going.

Weird things happen within a room of intoxicated and music driven people -he never remembered their names and never looked at their faces long enough to leave a lasting memory.

 

Baekhyun visited the Louvre on a Thursday, it was when the museum was opened until late at night. There was too much to see, so he had to go another day to visit all of the expositions. What he didn’t expect though was liking the d’Orsay museum more than the Louvre -but only because he liked the painting’s style better. He had a thing for the impressionists. Also it was much more smaller than the Louvre, so he could visit every painting on exposition and spend as long as he wanted observing them.

Sometimes a certain style or design would remind him of Yifan.

 

In nearly a year Baekhyun had ventured through most of the attractions the city of lights could provide and one of his favorite places to take a stroll was the Tuileries Garden by the Louvre. The evergreen grass, the many trees, the fountains, the ferris wheel and the sculptures were what he enjoyed observing the most -also the dogs, there was a dog friendly sector where many owners would bring them to have some fun.

There was a certain sculpture he was fond of. The bronze figure of a robust woman standing tall with her hands on her hips, completely . There wasn’t anything particularly charming or beautiful about the ‘Standing Woman’. Her proportions were strange, head rather small for the  robust and thick body. Baekhyun didn’t like the sculpture because of its aesthetics, he liked the sculpture of the woman because of the attitude he perceived from her realistic face and her pose.

Hands on her hips, not trying to be shy and cover anything up, embracing her womanhood just the way she was. Head held high, s out and about and yet she stood with her chest puffed out not at all embarrassed, not at all bothered by the onlookers who would certainly judge her. ‘I don’t give a ’ would be the exact words she’d utter.

It was silly for Baekhyun to believe the inanimate object had thoughts, but that was what Baekhyun would believe the ‘Standing Woman’ would say if she were alive. And for some reason he wished he could be little more like her -embracing who he truly was and not giving a . But of course it wasn’t possible, he couldn’t just walk around projecting light whenever he felt like flaunting about.

He couldn’t stand tall and proud of who he was, he could only hide in plain sight.

 

Around a month since he finally dared to walk out of the flat, Agent Moon told him there was an option to have him living with a foster family that worked with the Agency’s witness protection project. Agent Moon thought it would be better and less lonely. But Baekhyun was never alone. Agent Moon was by his side almost 24/7 or watching from far so Baekhyun could have some time to himself. And then there was always Agent Moon’s surveillance team standing by at the distance -he knew he was never alone when he ventured the bustling streets of the city or ended up in some stranger’s place.

So at the time it felt right to decline, to not be any more of a burden and live alone with Agent Moon posing as his father. But as time passed the loneliness grew bigger and he often wondered what it would be like to have a temporary family, even if they were fake and even if it were a short amount of time.

It was nearing May of 2013 when the loneliness was so heavy that he eventually became numb towards the feeling. For May 6th he coldly told Agent Moon to not even dare mention it was his birthday. He didn’t even want to leave the house, but being trapped inside just made him feel worse. Agent Moon kept far most of the day and only approached when they needed to buy some things for the fridge.

Baekhyun was searching for a decent brand of rice when he noticed Agent Moon checking his phone. It was rare to see the Agent receive a text, so Baekhyun felt a stir of anxiety and anticipation in his stomach. Agent Moon calmly told him to head back to the apartment, nothing was wrong but he wanted Baekhyun to go back inside and offered to stay behind to finish with the shopping.

Baekhyun didn’t argue but expected something to be off.

When he opened the door to his flat the first thing he noticed was the delicious smell of homemade food and noises at the kitchen. He hurriedly kicked off his shoes as memories of Kyungsoo’s figure cooking for him resurfaced instantly. He ran inside expecting to see the younger boy but abruptly halted his steps when he saw a woman instead.

Long navy blue dress with a black thin broderie jacket contrasted her white skin. Black hair swept back and tied. She turned, finally noticing his presence.

“Hello Baekhyun,” she smiled softly and Baekhyun swore his heart fell to the floor. “I’m preparing some chicken with the kimchi I brought, I know it’s a bit hard to find decent kimchi here. And I tried to make some seaweed soup, but I haven’t made one in so long. You’ll have to be considerate about that if it doesn’t taste good,” she said as she continued stirring the food on the pan. “Oh and I brought some rice cakes to-”

“What the hell are you doing here?” Baekhyun’s tone unwelcoming and upset.

Mama stayed silent for a second. “I was around,” she simply said.

Baekhyun gritted his teeth as he fought back the urge to cry. “How do I even know if it’s really you?”

Mama looked at him incredulously. “You know how,” she said as she turned to face him. Mama pushed up her sleeves a little and extended her arms to her sides.

Baekhyun dimmed the lights just by focusing on bending away the photons emitting from the light bulbs and then shined UV light towards Mama’s body. There were no fluorescent marking on her exposed skin.

Baekhyun let his arms fall to his side as he stared in shock. “It’s really you,” he struggled to speak as a wave of emotions shook him to the core. “You’re the real one.”

“Yes dear,” she smiled kindly.

Baekhyun leaned against the threshold, keeping himself from falling as his legs suddenly felt weak. “I, uh… Why are you here?” he tried to sound composed though it was evident he was confused.

She stirred the pan a few times. “I live here now.”

“Here?”

“Yes, Paris,” she spoke in perfect French.

Baekhyun remained silent as he tried to come to terms with the fact that Mama, the real Mama was standing in his kitchen, cooking a meal for him. He tried to understand what he was feeling, he knew he wasn't angry nor did he feel hatred towards her. He was confused, he trusted her for he wouldn't be alive without her, but he wasn't sure if he should walk right up and give her a hug like he longed to do. He wanted to feel that she was real and that his mind wasn't playing weird tricks on him.

“Why were all the lights on?” she asked as she turned off the stove and began serving the food onto plates.

That questioned ticked something inside him, a repressed memory that kept haunting him to this day.

“I hate the dark.”

“But you weren't in the flat.”

“I hate the dark because of you,” his voice hitched, tears finally falling from all the mixed emotions that messed up his heart. “I can’t stand it because of what you did to me,” he covered his mouth to hide his sobbing.

Mama looked at him shocked -platters left unfinished. She took her time to approach him, eyes looking at him in wonder as if she was observing something new with the curiosity of a child. She tapped his shoulder first, testing to see if he would let her touch him. From Baekhyun’s lack of response she pulled his hand away to get him to look at her, and kept insisting when Baekhyun tried to look away. She reached up to brush his hair out of the way, clearing his eyes as if she wanted to see him cry. Baekhyun stared confused, jaw clenched to keep his sobs suppressed. He could see in her brown eyes moist with sadness, even pain, something he never saw before.

Mama pressed her forefinger against the deep crease between his brows, smoothing the skin as if she wanted him to stop frowning while at the same time, a frown was forming on her own face. Baekhyun caught her hand, feeling as if she was prodding an experiment instead of comforting a human. Mama moved their linked hands towards her face and let the back of Baekhyun’s hand graze against her cheek. The moment Mama felt his hand against her skin, she cracked a sad smile, one bearing pain from years as she let herself cry in silence.

Baekhyun couldn’t stand seeing her cry and broke down instantly, leaning his head down onto her shoulders as his hands gripped onto her sides, wanting to keep her close and let the moment between them be real. Mama delicately held the back of his head, stepping closer to hug him. Baekhyun circled his arms around her waist pulling her tight and feeling her warmth strike his heart.

He had his mother back.

 

Night had fallen by the time they finally had enough tears spilled and had their stomachs filled with the food Mama cooked -Agent Moon didn’t come back and Baekhyun figured that Mama was the one who texted the agent in the first place.

“Are we safe?” he asked as he poured wine for them.

“For now yes, but we must be cautious.”

“From what?”

“EX’ACT,” she replied and then drank some wine. “They’ve retreated for now, thanks to Chief Park’s team and everyone else who aided him. But I suspect they’ll come back.”

“Why?”

“Because we haven’t finished them all,” she explained. “Until they are all dead or behind bars, you boys will never be safe.”

Baekhyun took a sip, letting the Cabernet Sauvignon burn his throat. “Would they kill us?

“No. You boys are no use to them dead.”

“But they only need our DNA.”

“No, your DNA doesn’t suffice. They need to decipher the genetic code sequence to understand your mutations and the most effective way is by having you alive,” she explained.

“They want our abilities?”

“Yes.”

“So it’s all about our abilities,” he commented and sipped some more wine. “Did it had to be that way?” Baekhyun asked as he swiveled the wine glass. “Did you have to lock me up in that room? How long was I in their?”

“Twenty four days,” she immediately answered without looking up from her glass -hand playing with the pendant of her necklace she always wore, bell chiming unrhythmically. “It needed to be done.”

Baekhyun’s grip on the glass tightened. 24 days… It certainly felt longer than that -too long.

“Couldn’t you use some other method?” he asked.

Mama shook her head and looked up at him. “How else would you generate the element you longed for the most? To be your own light in the darkness.”

He fisted his hands but didn’t have the energy to feel angry. “I was terrified.”

“We all are terrified Baekhyun. It’s only a matter of how willing you are to keep going despite the fear,” she spoke with her wise eyes shining back at him. “And you’ve come a long way.”

Baekhyun stared bewildered. He knew she was right, her words made sense, but it wasn’t an excuse to what she had put him through. For all the he and the members went through.

“Your abilities have progressed,” she noted. “You’re able to control ambient light, correct?”

“Yes.”

“You wouldn’t be able to do that if it hadn’t started in that room,” she stated without a hint of remorse.

She didn’t speak with sentiment and that reminded Baekhyun of the Clone Mama from the underground facility. The one who locked him up in that pitch dark room from 24 days.

Baekhyun clenched his jaw, keeping his tears in check and not letting himself cry again. “I didn’t see anything for 24 days. I was alone in that hell hole for 24 days. I didn’t even get to shower and slept in my own sweat,” he furiously wiped the tear that fell. “There wasn’t even a ing door. I thought I was never going to get out. I thought you left me there to die,” his shoulders trembled from the painful confession.

“There was a hatch for alimentation,” Mama spoke softly.

He stared at her dumbfounded. “I know there was a ing hatch, but I couldn’t fit through it.”

She nodded, “I remember you nearly dislocated your shoulder trying to get out.”

Baekhyun let out a long heated breathe. “Is this funny to you?”

She frowned. “Not at all.”

Baekhyun rubbed his face tiredly, not knowing what to say or how to understand her. Mama tilted her head to the side as her keen eyes read him like an open book.

“I don’t regret what I did Baekhyun,” she admitted with a calm tone. “And I certainly can not apologize for something that is unforgivable.”

Baekhyun kept silent not knowing what he wanted from her. Did he want her to beg for his forgiveness? Did he want to see her act like a decent human being and regret the pain she put him through? He knew he was left with a trauma, but he didn’t have a grudge against her. He didn’t hate her, he just couldn’t understand her.

But Mama could see right through him. She scooted her seat to the side and raised her dress to expose her pale knees. Baekhyun frowned as he saw the many scars across her skin, small slashes adorned the upper part of her shin and all over her knees. Small and lean like rice.

“My parents were quite keen on implementing corporal discipline. It wasn’t uncommon back in those days,” she began to explain as she traced a scar on her right knee. “My father only accepted excellence, so my mother made sure we studied and worked hard on our assignments.” She smiled oddly, “Our study room was the basement. Blackboard in front with my mother’s writing. If we didn’t do well or if she wanted to pressure us, she would scatter uncooked rice onto the concrete floor and make my sister and I kneel on it with our arms raised up straight above our heads. We would stay like that for hours until we answered correctly.” She smiled again as if it was a fond memory, “My mother was frightening, but father was much worse.”

Baekhyun stared quietly, finally understanding that Mama’s view of right or wrong was as twisted as her upbringing. It didn’t excuse her of her own wrongdoings but at least it explained why she grew up to be they way she was.

“I used to have many rice grains embedded inside my skin. I used a scalpel to get them all out, but I left this one,” she pointed at the little lump on her right knee. “It was the first time I knelt on rice and this little grain settled deep within my skin.”

“How old were you?”

“Six.”

 

Mama kept visiting him and he enjoyed every conversation they had. She had an insightful answer to everything, and if she didn’t know something or wasn’t sure, she would research about it and then give an informed opinion. There was so much about her that Baekhyun would always learn something new.

He dared to ask one day if she had Kyungsoo’s clone. He didn’t expect her to tell him the truth, but she answered without hesitation. She had him, safely guarded and deactivated. After learning more about her and growing close to her, he believed she would keep Kyungsoo’s clone safe and wouldn't use it to cause any harm.

Mama bought him a small piano, big enough to fit in his flat without taking up too much space. She taught him more about playing the piano, teaching him all the songs she knew and the ones she composed. It turned out that all the songs Kyungsoo remembered were written by her.

Before he knew it, another year passed.

 

May 6th 2014, Mama walked into his flat by mid afternoon with Chinese take out -Agent Moon left minutes ago.

“You should tone down your partying Baekhyun,” she commented as she served the food no plates. “Apparently I encountered a partner of one of your many dalliances at the restaurant.”

“Really?” he asked as he walked into the kitchen. “Who?”

“A girl, black straight hair, slim, long oblong eyes,” she described, receiving to recognition from the other. “Petite waist, very petite waist,” she remarked.

“Ah,” Baekhyun tried to recall the girl Mama saw. “I don’t remember her name.”

“Good,” she nodded.

“Good?” he raised his brows. “Seriously?”

“Yes,” she turned to look at him with all seriousness. “Relationships would be complicated under our circumstances.”

“Okay,” he said uncertain and went to set the table.

“You do use protection, right?”

Baekhyun felt his face burn. “Yes.”

“Good. I wouldn’t want you ending up with a nasty STD,” she waved her hands in the air.

He stared at her for a good second before asking, “Aren’t you worried I might get a girl knocked up?”

She didn’t answer immediately, instead she busied herself placing the plates on the table. If Mama didn’t answer within seconds, it meant something was off.

“Mama?”

“No,” she finally said, joining her hands together as she looked at him. “You can’t, you’re infertile.”

Baekhyun stared in shock, not sure if he heard her correctly. “What?”

“You can’t conceive children Baekhyun. None of you can,” she calmly explained. “Maybe Yixing could if he ever realizes this. But it was an important measure so there wouldn’t be more… children like you.” She shrugged her shoulders, “The company insisted on it. It was a requirement I had to comply to for the trials.”

Baekhyun couldn’t form a sentence as he dumbly sat down. It wasn’t that he yearned to be a father any time soon, but he always thought that in the future there was a chance to start his own family. He felt foolish, there was no way he could ever have a normal family and Mama made damn sure of that.

“There are many theories about the source of homouality,” she suddenly said.

“Excuse me?”

“I believe it’s natural, part of the human biology that is as diverse for any human being,” she kept going on. “But I figured a way to cause infertility by messing up with ual hormones -pretty much like an old experiment done on roosters, changing their feature from male to female by cutting the production of testosterone,” she trailed off. “Anyway, a side effect of the infertility process was a higher chance of messing up with the ual development of the ex- human,” she quickly changed her choice of words, though Baekhyun already grew used to her brutal honesty.

He rubbed his forehead, trying to make sense of her words. “You’re saying you made us gay?” he scandalized.

“No, I’m saying there was a higher chance within a group of twelve individuals to be born gay,” she explained.

Baekhyun shook his head perplexed. “I need a drink.”

“Oh good, I brought a Bordeaux,” she excitedly said as searched in a bag for the bottle of wine.

“I’m biual by the way.”

“Of course you are dear.”

 

After dinner they both sat side to side on the piano bench, barely room enough for both of them.

“You have your mother’s hands,” Mama commented -it wasn’t the first time she said that.

Baekhyun smiled, knowing full well that the only thing Mama remembered about his real mother were her hands and she would remind him of that from time to time.

“I have the hands of one of my mothers,” he said as he wrapped his arm around her and pecked her cheek.

Mama smiled warmly, though she kept her gaze down. Baekhyun knew she still felt conflicted whenever he proclaimed her to be his mother and Baekhyun enjoyed teasing her that way - their relationship never was normal anyway.

Mama began to play a tune, one of her own compositions and Baekhyun remembered Kyungsoo’s voice singing that song.

“I’m curious,” he stated. “Did Kyungsoo’s real mother teach him to sing, or was it you all this time?”

“Kyungsoo’s mother would sing to him when he was in the hospital,” she recalled. “It was the same time Lu Zi was interned. I met her because I was impressed that her son had a rare condition and yes, I know, it’s not a nice reason to visit a sick child,” she said before Baekhyun could say his disapproving comment. “I remember she was an artist, paintings, and so was her husband. They were well off but not enough for what Kyungsoo needed. His medical bills would ultimately consume them and he was going to die anyway, they were being reckless by prolonging his life while destroying their future.”

“One does anything for their loved ones,” he intervened.

“Yes,” she agreed. “But when fate is sealed, you can’t destroy your life at the loss of someone else’s,” she looked at him with a sharp gaze. “Anyway, infants are capable of recognizing their mother’s voice from very early ages. Kyungsoo was three years old when I took him away. From then on I kept him in a state of slumber as I tried to fix him.” She sighed, “I didn’t want to hurt him, or at the very least, not let him feel pain. So I kept him under most of the time.”

“Like Lu Han?”

“Worse,” she admitted. “Kyungsoo was six years old when he woke up,” she smiled at the memory, “He was scared because he said he felt everything moving, that the world was moving. So I grabbed the first child book with a bat on the cover that I could find. I read it to him while he was recuperating and explained to him that he was like a bat. That he was capable of sensing the vibrations of his surroundings and converting those signals into a map in his brain.”

“That’s why that book is so important?” Baekhyun asked surprised. “Stellaluna?”

“Yes, It’s his first memory with me,” she chuckled. “I let him live with me, so I could monitor his progress and keep testing him. He got to know my daughter, she was much older than him, fourteen I believe. Anyway, singing came natural to Kyungsoo, which was good because he used to have weak lungs. I kept encouraging him to sing all the time and taught him new songs, but he remembered the songs his mother used to sing to him,” she sounded impressed. “It was strange, even though he was with me he always knew I wasn’t his mother. He kept asking about her, but there was a three year gap that I had to fill. So I told him what I thought he wanted to hear,” her hand found the pendant of her necklace again. “That it was his mother who taught him to sing, that his family loved him very, very much, but he was too sick and needed me to save him and take care of him. That he was special and wouldn’t be able to see his family until he learned to control his strength.”

Mama stopped speaking for a moment to look at him. “He was eager to go back home.”

Baekhyun nodded, not really sure what to say.

“Kyungsoo had great control of his strength, did you notice that?”

“I, umm.”

“Had he ever broken a utensil? When you dined at the fake Kim estate, did he break a chopstick?” she questioned. “Did he ever break anything during the short time you knew him with his abilities?”

Baekhyun blinked in realization. “No, No he didn’t,” he answered truthfully. “But this one time Chanyeol pretended to be hurt because Kyungsoo slapped him and he freaked out.”

“Of course he would freak out,” Mama laughed. “He hadn’t broken a bone in so long, of course he was going to freak out. The last time he broke a bone, he was nine and he snapped both my radius and ulna in half. Just because he tugged my arm a little too tightly.” She pushed up her sleeve to show two long scars along her right arm. “He doesn’t remember though. The memory implantation wasn’t as refined at the time, so there’s a lot of memory loss.”

Baekhyun traced the scarred tissue with the tip of his finger. He always wondered why she was so keen on wearing long sleeves with her dresses. Mama probably had more scars scattered about her body, which made him realize she must have gone through so many hardships to reach her goals, physically and mentally. He knew she was more the rational type, but she had gone through many emotional battles as well.

She had a past that toughened her up and only a woman with her strength could have gotten as far as she did.

He admired her.

“Want to go to the Eiffel tower this Sunday?” he asked.

“Why?”

“It’s mother’s day.”

He laughed at how baffled she looked.

 

They agreed to meet at the Tuileries garden, where the statue of the Standing Woman was.

“I don’t understand you fixation with this particular piece,” was the first thing Mama said when she stood near him -not beside him, just far enough to speak with him without it looking like they actually were close.

“You don’t have to understand,” Baekhyun said with a secretive smile.

“I’m not fond of the obscurity of ignorance,” she commented.

“Ignorance is a bliss,” he playfully said, watching her from his line of sight.

“Ignorance is deceptive.”

“Is it safe for you to be walking outside on your own?” Baekhyun changed the subject.

Mama chuckled. “I’m never alone,” she said.

“So you have your own protection?” he asked, though he already knew the answer. “What would happen if I attacked you? Would your body guard attack me?” he looked around, trying to find anyone suspicious looking that could be looking after Mama.

She finally looked at him, face dead serious. “No. They will protect me from anyone except you boys,” she spoke calm and confident as ever. “It’s a strict order; they are not allowed to harm you under any condition.”

“That’s foolish,” he opined, kicking a pebble at his feet.

Mama kept quiet, observing him with those clever eyes as if she could read his thoughts. “You think he would kill me?”

Baekhyun shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, but he would at least try.”

Mama let out a sad sigh. “If provoked, he most likely will.”

Baekhyun looked back at her. “Better be careful then.”

She smiled, breathing out a small chuckle. “I can’t live forever Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun pressed his lips together in sad smile. How he wished she wasn’t right.

“So, Eiffel tower and some crepes?”

 

Normally Baekhyun avoided using the metro. It was small, old, and the smell -he just couldn’t stand voluntarily putting himself in a confined space while the pungent smell of people and who knew what else vandalized his nose. But on heavily rainy days or when he was too tired to keep walking, he’d use the metro.

He finally reached Neuf bridge station and was heading towards the exit. He noticed a girl stuck at the exit turnstile and figured she must’ve been new to the city. He walked up behind her.

“Need help?” he asked in French first.

“I, yes,” she turned around and Baekhyun felt his heart beat again.

She was beautiful. Oval face, straight brows, almond eyes, small nose and rosy lips adorned by her blond hair. She was definitely a foreigner, but one close to home.

“Korean?”

“Yes,” she spoke his language with relief written in her eyes.

He chuckled. “Did you lose your ticket?” she looked guilty. “You have to keep your ticket all the time and then use it to activate the turnstile,” he explained.

“So I have to buy a new ticket?”

“No,” he smiled. “We can fit together.”

The girl visible blushed. “Okay.”

Baekhyun stood close behind her and inserted the ticket in the slot, the turnstile activated, and carefully he pushed her by the back of her arms as they both walked through the doors of the turnstile.

“Thank you,” she said with a slight bow.

“Oh, no problem,” he smiled.

“Do you know which exit leads towards the Notre Dame cathedral?” she asked.

He nodded. “I’ll show you the way.”

 

“You would love her,” Baekhyun beamed as he settled his coffee down.

“I would?” Mama asked, raising a brow. “She studies nursing and took an internship in Lyon?” she asked.

“Yes.”

Mama hummed. Nodding her head.

“I,” Baekhyun reached out to hold Mama’s hand. “I want to move to Lyon.”

She was quiet for a moment, reading him with her keen eyes. “Lyon is safer than Paris,” she commented. “Are you sure? Because I don’t think it’s wise to get involved. She could get in danger for being with you.”

“It’s been two years and nothing has ever happened,” Baekhyun argued. “I doubt anything will happen any time soon.”

Mama nodded. “Just remember what happens next year in March,” Baekhyun grew silent, remembering that Zitao and Jongin found Mama and time traveled around March of 2015.

He felt Mama hold onto his hand. “I trust you Baekhyun,” she said as she looked into his eyes. “I’ll arrange with Agent Moon for your transfer. I have to stay in Paris though.”

“You can’t come with me?”

“No Baekhyun. I have my place here,” she smiled. “We’ll keep in touch. It’s only two hours by train.”

Baekhyun smiled appreciating her support. “Thank you.”

Mama reached forward and brushed his hair. “Baekhyun, just make sure you let her go before it’s too late.”

He smiled sadly. “Alright.”