He knew he was awake, he could hear the beeping of the monitor, feet rustling by his bed and the tapping of fingertips against a notepad screen. He could feel the bed sheets soft against his skin. How long had he been out this time? How many days, weeks or even months? Years?

He kept his eyes closed. Just in case.

He tried to move his hand ever so slightly, but he couldn’t tug further than what the restraint allowed. He could feel the cotton side of the cuffs firmly against his wrist -a friendly reminder of his forced immobility.

Maybe he hadn’t been out for too long. Maybe the boy was still there. What was his name? Kai?

Kai. He tried calling the boy but he couldn’t find his presence amongst the ever-working minds of the lab assistants and nurses -their thoughts only interested in their work. He used to talk to them, used to play pranks on them, but they would ignore him. They never answered back. Talking to them was like talking to a wall, so he stopped trying a long time ago.

“Luhan?”

A voice, her voice.

“Luhan darling, I know you’re awake. There’s no need to pretend otherwise.”

Please just go, leave me be. I’ll behave I promise.

“I’m not leaving Luhan. I need to talk to you. Open your eyes so I can see you’re paying your full attention,” she said calmly.

I’m too tired for a trial, please I don’t want any more tests.

“This is not an individual trial Luhan. Now stop being immature and speak with me.”

He opened his eyes. She seemed happy, radiant. Her dark eyes were gentle. She didn’t look as pale today, she looked healthier.

“Good. I’m going to need you to promise you will behave. I don’t want to have to put you under again, is that clear?” she spoke smoothly, she didn’t sound like she was giving a warning.

Yes, I promise.

“Speak with your voice,” she ordered. "You need the practice."

He tried but no sound came out. He gulped, salivating his throat and tried again. His words were unintelligible. His voice was rough and broken.

Mama turned towards the nightstand and poured a glass of water. She put a straw and lowered the glass close to his face. “The Dobhoff has already been removed. Let’s see if you can swallow.”

Luhan blinked in response. The nasogastric feeding tube was gone -what a relief. She helped him drink, holding the straw to his mouth. Slowly he small amounts of water and gulped deliberately, making sure to not accidentally choke.

“Is that better?”

He nodded and then coughed to clear his throat. “Yes,” his voice sounded thick, “I promise, Mama.”

She smiled and patted his arm, “Good.” She skimmed her hand lower until she reached his wrist. Carefully she unstrapped the cuff. Luhan couldn’t believe what was happening, he watched awestruck as she freed his right hand. “Can you move it?” she asked, but it was more of a curious command.

He concentrated on lifting his arm. He didn’t know how long it’s been since he had done that. At first he used too much strength and his arm raised high, then he controlled his muscles to rise slowly. Mama smiled and made a movement with her own hand for him to copy. First he opened and closed his fist, extending his fingers and feeling each articulation stretch and contract. Then he moved his hand in a circular motion to stretch his wrist -man it felt good.

“Hold on to my hand,” she said encouragingly, her right hand extended and opened for him to hold. He was hesitant at first. “Don’t be shy,” she smiled.

She smiled.

Luhan reached forward and softly placed his hand on her smooth skin. He contracted his muscles and held her hand firmly.

She pulled his arm down, towards her lap, “Tug against me, use your muscles,” she instructed.

He flexed his slim biceps and tried to pull his arm upwards. She was stronger than what she appeared to be. He tried more forcefully, reaching a midpoint between them. And then she playfully tugged and loosened her grip repeatedly, their linked hands swaying from side to side depending on who was winning. Finally he decided to use more strength and brought her hand close to the side of the bed, but she smirked and added her other hand to aid her in strength. She managed to pull his hand all the way back towards her side.

“I win,” she said as she let go of his hand.

“You cheated,” he complained.

“It’s just a game Luhan,” she laughed sweetly.

She laughed. A laugh he hadn’t heard in so long. In years. His childhood memories resurfaced briefly. Images of Mama laughing weren’t scarce back then, back then when everything was simple and carefree.

Mama stood up and walked to the end of the bed. She lifted the bed sheets and undid the straps around his ankles. She looked up at him and chuckled.

“Don’t look so confused, honey. Today is a good day.” She proceeded to free his left wrist. “Don’t move too much, the nurse hasn’t removed all the tubes yet,” she informed.

Luhan suddenly felt very aware of the catheter line that extended down his leg to the side of the bed, and the diaper. He lifted his left hand, wanting to stretch it and move his wrist, but he could feel the needle of the IV line probing against his vein. He saw the pulse oximeter probe on his index finger and then rested his hand back down. With his right hand he felt his nose and touched a small band aid that was draped over his right nasal cavity where the silicon tube line of the Dobhoff used to be. The feeding tube would go through the nasal cavity, pass the esophagus and down to the stomach.

“Patience honey, the nurse will be here soon,” she said as she sat back down at the chair next to his bed. “You’re not going to be so lonely anymore Luhan. You’re moving to the next part of the trials,” she explained. “You won’t have to sneakily speak with the other boys anymore.”

There was something wrong with her tone, her eyes, that look.

She knows.

“Of course I know, honey. I’m your mama after all. Mama knows everything,” her smile was fake, sarcastic. “You’ve misbehaved yet again. I’m not surprised. You’ve always been a trouble maker.”

He could hear the spite in her voice. She was mad, he was scared.

“I’m, I’m sorry. I-I was just-”

“Just, just lonely. Honey you’ve always been alone, how could you tell the difference?” she mocked, though her voice didn’t match her intentions. It was smooth and calm, but her intentions were harsh and hurtful.

She was doing it again, playing with his emotions, confusing his wits. She would always be a contradiction to him. A quixotic woman he would never fully decipher.

“I was tired of being alone. You always have-”

“Don’t talk back at me,” she scolded. She passed her hand through her hair as she breathed out stressfully. “You children think you’ve only got rights and no duties,” she looked back at him with a piercing gaze, “Everything must be earned, worked for. You know that. You know why we’ve done all of this,” she pointed at his general direction. “The work, the studies it’s been done for a much greater cause, greater than any of us. Knowledge prevails over all. Knowledge is power.”

They both remained silent. Mama didn’t look at him, she looked at the wall besides as she controlled her breathing. Luhan felt nervous and over all frustrated. He didn’t want another lecture on the reasons why he’s part of the trials. He didn’t want to hear how special he was and that they were studying his abilities so they could understand better. Studies. It’s all about the tests, the trials.

“You must be careful,” she said seriously as she tilted her head to the side to look at him. “I’m sure you already know what’s out there, but that’s not what I’m referring to,” she paused. “You wouldn’t want to hurt them, would you?” her dark eyes looked knowingly at him.

A spur of trepidation surfaced his mind, his chest clenched and his breath caught in his throat. Anxiety, fear, dread. She knew the answer to a question he wasn’t certain of. A feeling he believed to be true but had no way proving its veracity.

Slowly Luhan shook his head.

“Of course not. So keep your distance Luhan,” she warned. “Keep them far. Don’t let them get in here,” she leaned over and placed her hand on his chest. Luhan flinched at the sudden contact. “Here things get messy, confusing. And when it hurts, you lose your mind,” her dark eyes bore into his. “You can’t lose your mind Luhan. You can’t lose control.”

She pulled back when the nurse entered. “About time,” she said and stood.

‘Promise me Luhan’

I promise, Mama.

She nodded at him. “The physician will take care of you for the next days. They’ll make sure your muscles and digestive system work normally again. Until then,” she bid and left the room.

Two days later, Mama visited him at his new bed room. Luhan hadn’t done much those days. He went through routine physical exercise and could only eat liquefied foods. He didn’t feel like reading a book that day. He just stood in the middle of his room and looked at the lines of the chatoyant purple walls. He would just stand all the time. He hated going to bed, he was sick of beds.

“Purple Agate, my favorite,” she said as she walked up next to him. “It’s time Luhan. Remember what I told you?”

“Yes.”

“Remember your promise.”

“I will.”

“Good.”

And now he stood before them. He had an inkling of who they were, as if someone told him once but he had forgotten. It was like he had the pieces of the puzzle but no image to instruct where to fit them. He was sure he spoke to one of them, one of them talked to him during the nights. He also remembered the boy named Kai who spoke with him at the ICU. So he knew two of them. That’s for sure.

He saw a hand near his face and instantly flinched backwards. He looked at the owner and saw she was discontent.

I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.

‘Typical,’ she replied.

When Mama was done talking, she left. In her thoughts she wished him good luck and to remember her words. Now he was alone in front of the group. He was nervous. The other boys were observing him.

“Luhan?”

A tall lithe boy with tan skin and black clothes said. Luhan drew his attention to him and peeked into his mind.

“Kai?”

“Yeah,” he smiled and walked closer, he looked at him with disbelief. “Luhan it’s so great to see you here.”

It’s nice to be… outside, he answered telepathically.

“Here let me introduce you to the guys,” Kai said enthusiastically and motioned him to follow. Luhan stepped closer to the group but kept some distance. “This is Kris, the owl on his shoulder is Tawny, it’s really docile. That’s Chanyeol, Suho, Xiumin, Tao, Sehun and Lay,” he indicated towards each boy as he spoke.

Xiumin? That name… I know that name, he thought to himself. He looked at the smaller boy with oval cat-like eyes. The other looked back at him intently. I wonder… He read the other’s mind.

‘-er me? Luhan? Luhan can you hear me? Luhan?’

Xiumin? -the boy’s eyes went wide.

‘Yes! Yes it’s Xiumin,’ he nodded and smiled. ‘Can you remember me?’

I… Yes, I remember you. Xiumin’s smile grew wider.

‘Luhan I’ve missed you so much. Do you remember the others? Do you remember what I’ve told you?’

Yeah, some of it. It’s all coming back to me, but it’s very confusing.

‘Great. Let’s see what you remember. Liquid helium?’ he pop quizzed.

Unearthly conditions!

‘Kris’ drawing skills?’

He has none!

‘Lay is what animal?’

A, a, a unicorn!

‘Yes! Chanyeol’s nickname?’

Yeah it’s-

“Luhan? Are you listening at all?” Kai questioned, placing a hand on his hip. Luhan looked back at Kai and muttered a small apology. “I was just explaining the other’s abilities. Kris can fly, Suho controls water, Chanyeol-”

“Fire boy,” Luhan interjected as he looked at the tall boy who’s goofy smile was replaced by surprise. Xiumin laughed out loud.

“Yeah, I’m fire boy I guess,” Chanyeol blabbered.

“Sehun controls wind and Lay is the unicorn guy,” Luhan said as he looked at them. “It’s nice to finally meet you guys,” he greeted. He noticed Sehun visibly stiffened and looked somewhat hurt. Did he say something bad? “Did I say something wrong? I’m sure Xiumin told me about you.”

“No, it’s okay…” the boy in grey said flustered.

Luhan nodded and looked at the raven haired boy with feline eyes, dressed in lilac clothes. “I think I haven’t heard about you yet.”

“I’m Tao, I can control time,” he said kindly.

“Cool,” Luhan ogled.

“It’s awesome that you’re remembering things,” Kai said and reached to pat Luhan’s shoulder. Luhan flinched back at the sudden touch. Kai fell to the side, as if he was strongly pushed away by an invisible force. He looked up in shock.

“Yo, dude you okay?”

Luhan felt a hand near his head. Don’t touch me! He closed his eyes, sent a telekinetic wave towards the direction of the hand and heard a loud huff as the heavy body fell two meters away.

“Luhan!” he looked at Xiumin who stepped closer. He looked worried. “Luhan stop.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, cowering back knowing that everyone was watching him -judging him.

“It’s okay,” Xiumin said. Luhan felt him standing too close. Keep them far, he remembered. He lightly pushed Xiumin backwards, not enough for the smaller boy to fall but enough to keep him put. Xiumin’s eyes looked hurt.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, looking at the ground.

“It’s okay,” Xiumin said calmly.

“I’m sorry,” he said softer, nearly a whisper.

“Don’t be afraid. We won’t hurt you.”

“I’m nervous.”

“Just relax,” Xiumin paused, “Luhan look at me,” he did, “Don’t push us away please.”

“I…”

“We’re not them Luhan. We won’t hurt you,” he explained softly. “Please don’t push us away.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

Things were still awkward after Luhan’s fit. He didn’t mean to hurt the others. He didn’t mean to push them away. It was hard to beat the habit. He was so used to the fact that whenever a hand approached him, whenever someone came near him, it was never for a good reason. Since he was almost always dozed by drugs, he developed hypersensitivity and would react towards the slightest movement he felt in a defensive way. Whenever he felt a nurse get close to probe him with a needle, he’d push him or her away.

The group decided to show Luhan the lake with the willow tree. They needed a distraction to ease the tension and try to help Luhan open up. They kept their distance from him though. They stood close enough but not too close to trigger his senses. They told him funny stories about the times they’ve fooled around, explained all their internal jokes and made the effort to make him feel comfortable as part of the group. Slowly and gradually, Luhan began to seem more comfortable and laugh along with them.

But there was one who never smiled. One who kept a stoic face the whole time. Luhan felt nervous whenever his gaze would cross with the serious pair of eyes. He seemed to always stare at him. When Luhan had enough of the stares he tried to speak into the other’s mind and tell him off.

Stop staring at me like that, the boy’s eyes widened for a split second and then frowned back at him.

‘How could you forget me?’ he thought angered and hurt.

What?

‘How could you just forget me, Luhan?’

I’m sorry I…

‘You seriously don’t remember anything about me?’

I, I just… don’t.

‘What happened to you?’

I don’t know! I can’t… remember. He felt frustrated.

‘Why Xiumin? Why can you remember Xiumin but not me?’

I don’t know why.

‘Do you like him more than me?’

What? Sehun stop, you’re confusing me.

“Sehun what’s wrong?”

The trance broke and Luhan realized Sehun was silently crying. Chanyeol was next to him, worried as he asked. Lay and Kai immediately went to join him, blocking Sehun from his sight.

“Luhan are you okay?” Xiumin was next to him, he sat close by. “What happened between you two?”

“He said… He said I forgot him,” Luhan said confused.

“I’m going to scoot closer to you Luhan,” the other informed and slowly sat close enough for their knees to almost be touching. “Is this okay?”

Luhan calmed his breathing. Keep them far, he remembered but didn’t feel nervous about Xiumin’s proximity. He didn’t want to move the other away.

“Yes,” he nodded.

“Okay, Sehun’s just a little shocked.”

“A little?” he said with disbelief.

“Well more than a little then,” he scratched his neck. “Look, Sehun and you were friends as well. You didn’t know each other as long as we did, but you spoke quite a lot with Sehun. Especially because…”

“Because what?” Luhan insisted.

Xiumin pressed his lips together, thinking about his words before speaking. “Do you remember I told you about this one trial that ended badly? One where Kai was hurt badly?”

“I think so. Maybe,” he felt he knew about it, but honestly he couldn’t remember anything.

“Well you helped Sehun a lot afterwards. You really comforted him during the time and well, he grew very fond of you I think,” Xiumin explained.

“I can’t, I don’t remember…” he said disheartened.

“It’s alright, you will eventually,” Xiumin comforted.

He raised his hand towards Luhan to pat his hair, but was immediately pushed away. Luhan looked back at him with an apologetic look. He regretted doing that to Xiumin.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Xiumin smiled patiently.

A/N:

Kind of a sad chapter, yeah? 

Thanks to Rosyposy and oreofreak for subscribing -I love oreos btw. 

I'm a nice person, I didn't want to leave you guys with a cliffhanger for too long, haha.

Annyeong!

-Blackie.