“I’m going to kill him. I swear I’m going to kill Lay.”

“Damn, Sehun. Stop it,” Suho said exasperatedly, blue pants rolled up as his feet rested inside the lake. “Stop making such a big deal about it. It happened, so what. You’re the only one who gives a damn about it.”

“But Suho,” the wind bender whined. “He embarrassed me in front of Luhan.”

Sehun huffed as he swung his legs aggressively. He was sitting on a branch of the willow tree. He knew being mad at Lay was stupid, but for him it was an excuse to feel the way he did: frustrated.

“I’m sure Luhan doesn’t care. Stop sulking already. You’re really beginning to annoy me,” Suho rubbed his temples.

Sehun squinted his eyes in an evil smirk as he created a wind current strong enough to knock Suho into the lake.

Kai popped up next to the tree. “Hey Suho, taking a swim?” said boy frowned as he got out of the water. “I guess not. Is Sehun still crying over his girly giggle?”

“Yeah, he’s still not over it,” Suho said as he combed his drenched hair backwards.

“What a wimp.”

“Shut up!”

“Make me!”

Sehun gritted his teeth as he blew air towards Kai, the other made himself intangible and Suho ended up being swatted backwards. His wet clothes dried and his hair became a mess. Suho’s frown deepened and before Sehun could react, he was splashed by a huge wave, falling off the tree. He was completely drenched and stared aggravated towards Suho. Kai laughed at him. Sehun dried himself with wind, without failing to swat a current towards Kai’s direction. Kai appeared behind him and grabbed him in a headlock.

“Immature little s,” Suho fumed and dived into the water.

“Let go,” Sehun complained as he tried to break from Kai’s hold.

He formed a twister around them, and tried to pry Kai off, but the tan boy shifted so he ended back hugging Sehun as strong as possible to not be blown away.

“Stop it!” Kai yelled as the wind grew stronger.

“You stop it!”

Sehun shrieked when he felt Kai bite his shoulder. Angered, he shifted the twister into a draft and blew strong enough to make them both fall down, but unluckily Sehun was the only one to hit the ground. Sehun groaned when his back hit the floor and Kai plopped on top of him, sitting on his stomach as he pinned Sehun’s shoulders down.

Why do I always end up this way? he wondered annoyed.

“Get off!” he barked.

“Or what?

“I’ll blow you,” Sehun frowned.

“You’ll blow me?” Kai smirked amused.

“Yeah,” he huffed out air, but his attack was weak. It merely swatted Kai’s hair backwards.

Kai laughed at his puny attack, “Struggling to breathe?”

“Yeah, you weigh like a cow,” he sneered.

Kai scowled offended and got up. “Brat.

Sehun managed to kick Kai’s shin, “Idiot.”

“That ing hurt,” Kai rubbed the sore spot, but Sehun stuck his tongue out instead of apologizing. He stood and walked to sit at the roots of the tree.

Kai appeared next to him, his shoulder against his own. “Seriously, what’s up with the hardcore moodiness?”

“I’m not moody!” The wind around them grew stronger.

Kai raised an incredulous brow, “You’re ing kidding me right?”

“Shut up,” he muttered in defeat, hugging his legs.

“Sehun, you at hiding your emotions. I can see it in the wind. Stop being an annoying for a while,” sighed the boy in back as he rested his head against the tree. “You already managed to piss Suho away.”

“Ugh,” he whined and rested his chin on his knees, trying to keep the gust down and in control.

“So what if you giggled like a little kid in front of Luhan, he probably thought it was… endearing,” Kai didn’t sound nearly as serious as he meant to, he was probably laughing at the memory. Sehun wanted to punch him. “Why do you care so much?”

And then it happened again, like many times before he felt the stir in his stomach, the warmth in his chest and face, the anxiety. Those feelings he couldn’t understand and frustrated him restlessly. Why did he react this way whenever he thought of Luhan? His body and mind betrayed him and acted on its own free will. The only way he could function half-properly was by acting like a huge idiot. But it made him even more frustrated to do stuff he’d regret afterwards. He was a mess ever since Luhan re-appeared into his life.

“I don’t know, I just do.”

Kai scoffed at his poor response, “Talk it out with someone. Find out what’s bothering you. Just stop venting your frustration on others.”

Sehun remained silent. He knew Kai was right and that pissed him off, he knew it was childish but he didn’t care. He was frustrated and didn’t even know how to explain his feelings, even if Kai was willing to hear him out.

“Come one Sehun. Why do you get so worked up about this?” Kai nudged. “Is it because you’re still mad at Luhan?”

“What?”

“Are you still upset about Luhan forgetting you?” he was being serious. Sehun hated serious Kai, serious Kai always won.

“No,” he mumbled.

“Is it because he’s still not talking to you?”. Kai sighed as he didn’t receive much of a response, “You know I’ve tried convincing him, nearly every day.”

“Yeah I know.”

“If you really want him to talk to you, then just go and talk. I’m tired of being the messenger,” he admitted slightly irritated.

It’s not that easy, he thought and lazily shrugged his shoulders in response. Kai looked like he had enough of his idiocy.

“Why are you such an idiot when it’s about Luhan? Ever since he is here, you became this grouchy idiot with childish mood swings. Seriously what’s up with that?”

“Why do you care?” Sehun yelled, wind drifting harshly around them again. The hurt in Kai’s eyes made him regret yelling at him.

“I care about you, you idiot,” he gritted his teeth as he protected his eyes from the gust. “You’ve been moping around while acting all tough and stoic, when I know deep down you’re sad,” he poked Sehun’s chest. “It upsets me to know you’re not okay.” He smiled sadly, “Haven’t you noticed I’ve been trying to make you happy all this time? All I did was try to cheer you up, try to get Luhan to make peace with you and talk.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Sehun said bitterly. He looked away at his feet, not able to stand Kai’s over concern and emotions right now.

“Well , I’m sorry. I thought that’s what friends do,” the boy in black exasperated. “If I didn’t try to help, then who? Who else cares about you like I do?” Sehun hated how hurt the other sounded.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled annoyed as he tried to stop the gust.

“You’re so frustrating,” Kai groaned.

“Stop bothering me then.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

 

Kai disappeared. Sehun groaned and rested his head back against the trunk, letting the air around him do whatever he felt like. He was being so immature right now, but he couldn’t care less. He was struggling with his own emotions and couldn’t possible entertain Kai’s feelings as well. No matter how much he hated hurting his friend, he just couldn’t be there for him.

Kai reappeared in front of him, just to drop off a dumbfounded looking Chanyeol holding two cups of tea. Kai pushed him forward before vanishing again. Sehun looked up judgingly at the lanky guy, who was staring back at him confused.

“Tea?” he offered after a minute of dumb staring.

“Whose is it?”

“Tao’s.”

“He’s going to be pissed,” Sehun snickered halfheartedly; wind finally dying down.

The guy in red nodded, “Yeah, especially since he’s all cranky and sleepless.”

“Still?” he received the hot cup of tea.

“You know how bad he gets after a trial,” Chanyeol shrugged. “He hasn’t been talking much about it though.”

“He never does.”

“So why am I here?” Chanyeol asked as he sat beside him.

“I don’t know,” Sehun sipped some tea.

“Awesome,” Chanyeol sarcastically said and sipped his tea. “So what brings a fine lad as yourself to sit melancholically alone at the shores of the lake?”

“What the hell are you saying?”

“Just roll with it,” he ordered forcefully.

“Oh, but I am not alone,” Sehun faked a high pitched voice, “for kind lad Suho is beneath the waters.”

“He is?”

“Indeed he is,” Sehun arrogantly sipped his tea.

“My, what a pity it is that fellow Xiumin is occupied at the moment,” Chanyeol feigned sadness, “for it would’ve been a joyous laughter if he were to freeze the water’s surface again.”

“That was ing hilarious,” Sehun laughed.

“Fine lad Sehun, that is not an appropriate speech,” Chanyeol reprimanded.

“Oh, off.”

“Insulting are we?”

“Seriously what the are you doing?”

“I found this book were the people talked funny,” Chanyeol shrugged, his speech normal again.

“Oh,” he nodded.

Chanyeol remained silent as he enjoyed his tea. “So why are we here?” he asked after a while.

“What?”

“Why are you here?” Chanyeol asked concerned, and Sehun sensed where the conversation was heading.

“I already pissed Suho and Kai away,” Sehun frowned. “Don’t try me.” Chanyeol lifted his hand in surrender as he drank tea.

“Do you think there are more guys like us?”

“I…” Sehun fell at loss at Chanyeol’s sudden question. He never really gave much thought over the matte. New members kept appearing out of the blue, it wasn’t like the institution ever told them their plans to begin with. “I don’t know.”

“I hope not,” Chanyeol kept talking, “We’re already a big group and it’s been hard to get along and work together, especially when new guys appear. We’ve finally gotten closer as a group and Luhan became quite a handful. That dude scares me sometimes. Like what’s with those fits?” he trembled.

“Xiumin already explained,” he answered, feeling reluctant to touch the subject.

“I know, but seriously he scares me. I haven’t been able to get close to the guy without being thrown away. Since day one.”

“You should’ve seen that one coming. He pushed Kai away and you dared to touch him,” Sehun scowled, “Not the brightest idea Chanyeol.”

He shrugged, “I was just concerned.”

“Well you’re kind of a brute. I figure you scare him all the time.”

“Brute?” Chanyeol stared at him with wide eyes, as he couldn’t believe the word Sehun’s just used to describe him.

“Yeah,” Sehun finished drinking. “Your lanky arms are pretty heavy.”

“You’re nearly as tall as me,” he complained, dramatically placing his empty cup to the side. “Hell, what about Kris?”

“Kris doesn’t hang on other people’s necks like an orangutan,” he quipped.

“Orangutan?” he asked insulted. “I’m a lion!” he declared and Chanyeol pounced on Sehun, biting his shoulder playfully.

“Ah! Don’t eat me!” Sehun laughed out loud. But Chanyeol kept on tackling him, tickling his sides and pretending to eat him alive, complaining ever so often about how ‘boney’ his prey was.

Now Sehun understood why Kai brought Chanyeol. It didn’t matter if they fought; he knew Kai would always forgive him and try to cheer him up in the end. And that just made him realize how ty he has been lately. Kai was right. Again.

 

He lay on the cold floor, back against the ground as he stared up to the ceiling. Bell chimes hung at different heights decorating the extension of the roof of his practice room. Four small windmills at each cardinal point stood tall. He lazily played with a current, passing from south to north, playing through the chimes and tuning a melody into the silence. He made the current pass repeatedly through a dark antique looking bell chime; the combinations of high notes with the baritone of the wider bells made the melody sound more dramatic. It stirred a deep feeling inside him, reminding him of the many dreams he wished to be real.

He had been feeling too much lately, but it was in his nature. Just as wind, his emotions agitate whenever he felt variations of pressure of any sort. He was sensitive to any atmospheric change as well as psychological. Very much like Lay, he felt too much but he felt his emotions on his own. He didn’t know how to share his feelings like the healer did. From a light breeze his emotions could turn into a tornado and he would only end up blowing the others away.

It was something he would always struggle with and was the other reason to why he felt so frustrated lately. He knew Luhan would depend on him from now on, and he knew Luhan struggled with his emotions as well. So how the hell would he always be prepared to help the other, when he was just as irascible as Luhan?

Suho kept talking about emotional intelligence, trying to teach him how to use it. Even Xiumin tagged along to help him learn, but it was easier said than done. He was just a boy, emotional and temperamental. But so were the rest. They were all just kids in an impossible situation, fighting the odds and living a reality they’ve only grown to question.

Life was hard, yes, but for everyone not just him; de needed to remind himself that.

 

The next morning he encountered Luhan in the left hall. They were obviously back to their awkward stage, as if the trial never happened. He knew they were closer and finally broke the ‘no talking’ barrier, but still it felt weird. Especially since Sehun felt like his chest would explode at any given second. Luhan didn’t look good though. He could compete against Tao in looking restless. Sehun wanted to ask what was wrong and why he couldn’t sleep, but he ended up stiffly greeting him.

“A new day,” Luhan greeted back with a neutral smile.

“Mhm.”

Luhan looked like he was about to say something, but then decided otherwise and began to walk away. Sehun followed behind, giving enough space between them. They were nearing the entrance when Sehun decided to be bold and curious, as Kai told him to be yesterday.

He pressurized air around his right arm and around his body. Stealthily he got closer until he was able to hold onto Luhan’s shoulder. Luhan visibly jumped before turning around with shocked eyes. He lifted his hand as if he was trying to push Sehun away, but nothing happened. Sehun let himself smirk at his small victory. But his smugness vanished away as soon as he looked into Luhan’s round eyes. There was something about them that made him feel like he was special, something that allured his soul. Luhan’s initial shock was replaced by something new. Sympathy, maybe?

Sehun didn’t like how tired the other looked, the darkness under his eyes made him seem old and ill. He felt he had been staring at him for hours before he noticed a small tug between Luhan’s eyebrows. He realized Luhan seemed uncomfortable and it took him various seconds to understand why.

“Am I overdoing this?” he asked with fake confidence, he didn’t want to seem like he regretted his decision. Idiot Sehun was resurfacing.

“You think?” Luhan retorted annoyed.

“I thought you were getting used to me,” Sehun countered, his thumb running down from under Luhan’s left eye to his cheek, rubbing the flustered blush. His skin is so warm and smooth.

“Wh-what the are you doing?” he asked abashed before physically swatting his hand away. Sehun didn’t answer and instead stepped closer just to toy with him a little longer. Luhan looked like he struggled and then powerlessly placed his hands against Sehun’s chest. “It’s not fair,” he mumbled as he gently pushed Sehun back.

Sehun held onto his wrist, still against his chest, and canceled the air armor. “You don’t have to push me away, you know.”

“Just don’t take advantage,” Luhan grumbled but he seemed more relaxed.

Sehun smiled, he finally managed to break through some walls. He’d have to apologize to Kai later, or simply be a brat and not do so. But right now his only focus was on Luhan and the havoc occurring inside his chest. It was like the clenching and the beating of his heart overpowered his senses and his emotions took over his rationality.

I really like him, he finally admitted to himself.

I think I really like him a lot.

He was pushed back forcefully. He snapped back from his dazing and looked at a shocked Luhan. His wide eyes told him everything.

.

Luhan ran before he could explain himself, leaving him alone in the deserted entrance lobby.

One step forward, two steps back.

 

He was surprised to find Suho at Kris’ balcony; the boy in blue didn’t seem too keen on his arrival.

“I’m somewhat over it. I promise I won’t sulk today,” he quickly, said earning a nod in response. “Where’s Kris?”

“He’s searching for lavender with Kai and Chanyeol. Hopefully they might find Californian Poppy too,” he replied resting his arms behind his head as he swayed on the hammock. “They want to brew some tea for Tao.”

“He’s having nightmares again?”

“I think it is worse this time,” Suho sighed. “Lay’s inside with him, he’s checking if he’s got insomnia.”

Sehun peaked into the room. Tao lay on Kris’ bed resting his head on Lay’s lap as the healer massaged his scalp.

“Is that necessary?” Sehun asked pointing at the pair.

“I’d like to say no,” Suho said cocking a brow.

Sehun went to sit against the railing. He searched for Tawny, but the little owl was not around. He did see two Yellow Weavers dropping by to eat from the bird feeder Kris hung.

Sehun sighed. He needed to talk to someone. He originally came looking for Kai, but he’s out. His second best option was Lay, he might know what the hell he’s feeling. Suho was great at giving advice, but not when he’s pissed off.

Might as well give it a try.

“Suho?”

“Yes?”

“I need some advice?”

“You said you weren’t going to sulk again,” he frowned.

“I’m not,” Suho raised a brow in disbelief, “Well maybe a little. But it’s important, I swear.”

“No.”

“Please,” he insisted, “I really need a friend like you.”

Suho huffed a sigh as he attempted to sit up on the hammock. “Alright, alright. What’s wrong?”

Sehun suppressed his smirk, senseless praises always was the best way to make Suho comply.

“Well, umm,” he wavered, looking down for a second. “It’s about Luhan,” he said embarrassed.

“Oh, for ’s sake,” Suho exasperated as he dramatically lied back into the hammock.

“Just, hear me out. Please.” He waited for Suho to signal him to go on. “This morning I caught up to him in the hall. At first it was awkward but we managed to talk-”

“You talked?” Suho butted in.

“Yeah,” Suho didn’t look convinced. “It doesn’t matter about what, the thing is we did.”

“So what’s the problem?” he shrugged.

“I…” he felt incredibly embarrassed. “He read a thought of mine, and it was an embarrassing one. He kind of freaked out before I could redeem myself.”

“Redeem?” the water bender scoffed. “Aren’t you being a little over dramatic?”

“I swear I’m not,” he said dead serious.

Suho sat up and looked down at him, it was intimidating. “What did you think then?”

“I…” he felt flustered, there was no way he could bring himself to replay the words. “I can’t.”

“What?”

“I can’t”

“Why not?”

“It has to do with…” he scratched the back of his ear before placing his hand against his chest. “It has to do with what I feel here,” he blushed.

“Uh…” Suho looked confused. He probably was. “What do you feel?”

Sehun gulped hard. “Like I’m going to have a heart attack whenever I’m near him.”

“I think you should better ask Lay,” Suho said concerned. “You might have an illness, maybe angina or a weird psychosomatic response towards Luhan.” He nodded to himself, as if his he found his reasoning to be the most correct. “No wonder you were infuriatingly annoying yesterday.”

“Thanks I guess,” Sehun muttered and pressed his lips into a thin line.

“No problem,” Suho genuinely smiled before laying back into the hammock.

 

Sehun dragged Lay out to the garden when the rest decided to crowd Kris’ room, including Xiumin and Luhan. Sitting on a bench, he explained better what he told Suho, even detailed the feelings he felt and waited anxiously as the dopey eyed guy hummed as he thought of a response.

“Do you know what attraction is?” the boy in green asked after a while.

“When two atoms bind to form a molecule, or when molecules bind to form compounds. Or when two bodies of opposite electrical charge unite, or two- ouch!” he rubbed the sore spot on his head.

“Not what I was referring to,” Lay attempted to seem serious. “What do animals feel when they mate?”

“Uhh…” Sehun frowned as he pondered for a while. He rarely studied about animals, the only ones he’d read about where volitant species, like birds and winged mammals and sometimes insects. And he only learned about their basic aerodynamics. “I don’t know.”

“Animals, and humans too, depend mostly on chemical messengers to attract a possible mate. These chemicals are called pheromones,” Lay diligently explained. “Some animals use pheromones to signal other things, but let’s not divert,” he nodded to himself. “Pheromones signal ual attraction, this leads to courtship and procreation. The chemical signals through olfactory system and tactile system helps give information about the genetic compatibility of the two… You’re not understanding this.”

“No.”

“I think you’re attracted to Luhan,” Lay bluntly said. “As in you are physically and emotionally attracted to Luhan.”

“Uhh…”

“Sehun,” he called out in a serious tone, “You’re falling in love.”

“I am?” he said dumbfounded. “What? But how? Why?”

“Let’s just say that your body wants Luhan in a not so friendly way,” Lay smiled mischievously.

Sehun gulped. “But, how?”

“I tried to explain before," Lay raised his eyebrows, looking intently at him. "It’s chemistry.”

“Uhh…” He felt horribly flustered, “What do I do?”

“Am I the only one who knows about this stuff?” Lay asked aloud, pressing his thumb against his chin.

“Suho thought I had angeena or aingina or whatever it’s called," he shrugged.

“Angina, and no. You don’t have a coronary blockage or anything else that can cause it,” he sighed. “Man you guys are blockheads.”

“Hey, it’s not our fault we don’t know what love is,” Sehun complained.

“It’s okay,” Lay smiled kindly and patted his head. “I’ll help you through it. Just take it slow. You wouldn’t want to scare Luhan away again, now would you?” Sehun furiously shook his head.

“I’m scared,” he admitted. “I don’t think Luhan likes me that way.”

“It takes time, Sehunnie. First you have to get closer and friendly with him, and gradually show your affections with words or physical affections,” he detailed calmly.

“Physical?” he asked abashed.

“Yeah, like caringly holding hands, soft caresses, hugging, kissing-”

“What?” Sehun exclaimed loudly.

“Oh don’t be so shocked,” Lay waved him off, “It’s perfectly natural.”

“Uhh… Mhm,” he in his lower lip.

“Just get close to him first. You guys already bonded a lot during the trial. Just try to make him feel comfortable with you, okay?” Lay advised.

Sehun didn’t feel confident at all -he wasn’t sure how to do what Lay suggested but he felt his advice would be the best he’d get. “Okay,” he agreed nonetheless.

“I’ll teach you something that will come in handy when the time is right,” he offered and turned his body to face him. “It’s an action that conveys all your feelings at once, making the other stop whatever he was doing or thinking and pay sole and undivided attention to you,” Lay held one of his hands. “Don’t be scared, okay?”

“Okay,” he said as he felt soothed under Lay’s manipulation.

He looked confused as the other slowly approached him, his face getting closer and closer to his own. He wanted to say something or push him away, but Lay had him stunned. Lay tilted his head to the right and closed his eyes. Sehun felt Lay’s breath ghost over his mouth before soft lips pressed onto his. All his senses focused on the warm pressure against his lips. It felt good.

It felt too good.

 

 

  

---

 

A/N:

Hey guys, life got in the way and I’m busier than ever. I’ll still try to update every other week, just not as often as before.

I know this fic is Hunhan, but ing FTW!!!

Haha… no? okay…

Thanks to EolinDociak, Sone_Taeyeonnie89, Misori-sama, Pohpoh, bluelle, kurank and alive-and-free for subscribing.  I hope you find this new chapter entertaining.

Have a great week, annyeong!

-Blackie.