The whole drive in Jae-joong's car was silent and I think it was because he knew I did not want to talk and I was glad he also knew that I did not want to go home looking the way I do. I had no control over my emotions that were mixing in my tiny body.

"You want to stay over at my place tonight?" he asked me, eyes still on the road but his voice quivering near the end, his worry showing. I balanced out the last of my still sane thoughts and nodded weakly. I don't think it will be easy for the night and I definitely did not want my father to see me in this state.

With my eyes still watering for a reason I still could not pinpoint, I took out my phone to send my father a quick text that went along the lines of "I met Jae after a while and I want to stay over at his place to catch up, I will be back home in the morning, papa" after which I closed my eyes, laying my head on the headrest. It had been so draining watching someone like Seung-hyun and it bothered me extensively that I had no control over my own being. It was frustrating.

Next thing I knew, we reached Jae's penthouse where I had been to once and comfortably let myself in before louging on the velvet sofa. I let out a long tired breath and as I expected, Jae-joong took a seat close to me, looking at me, waiting for an explaination now that he had let me have my moment.

"What was going on, Aeron? I had never felt so worried being apart from you as I was just now. I need to know." he confessed, his brows furrowed as if the pain I felt somehow got transferred to his body.

"I... I don't know, Jae." I responded and it was true. I really didn't know what was going on.

One minute, I was the one who was looking down on Seung-hyun asking him what was wrong and next thing I knew, I was the one with something going wrong. His eyes were so dark and so tired - still I could not fathom why it bothered me so. He had looked at me with such question, like he trusted me to have an answer for his struggles and me, just there looking at him with nothing to give - I felt so incompetent. He had looked at me with a glimmer of hope that I was not able to give. Again, the tears welled up in my eyes.

"Jae, I can't stop the tears... Why can't I stop it, Jae?" The confusion I was propelled in with the entrance of Seung-hyun in my otherwise orderly life made everything I had worked hard for become something I should question. And I hated it. Who is he in my life that he makes me doubt myself and the things that I do? Who is he to ask me what I am?

My hands were trembling and I didn't want to understand why... I knew its the humanity in me that is coming to be in control, to let me indulge in emotions which I had for so long avoided with success. The more I thought about the night, the more it got me offguard. I was about to let my mind wander and gave up my grip on it when a pair of familiar warm arms held me tightly in a comforting embrace.

"Aeron, it hurts me watching you like this." Jae-joong said simply, pushing my head into his chest which I had always found soothing. He my back lovingly and for a while, I forgot my troubles as I let myself receive whatever fervor I could.

"You don't have to be alone. When you need me, you tell me. I am for you as you are for me." he whispered and suddenly, like what he said were reset buttons, I felt at ease.

I am for you as you are for me. We were made for each other, regardless of what I am or how I am made, I have responsibility for this man as he has for me and that should be enough. I closed my eyes and let my mind rest for a while.

"I want to sleep, Jae, can I lay with you?" I asked and he smiled with a nod.

Laying on his bed with his arm wrapped around me and my ear listening to the beats of his heart, I thought maybe I am not as savage as how Seung-hyun made me feel. My existence is for another person as well, I am not just a being - I have a reason for my existence. I turned to look at Jae who was asleep and I traced the outline of his face under the little light that sneaked pass the blinds.

Jae-joong is enough reason for me not to question reality... right?