CHAPTER THREE: Taeyeon's radio listening

After group practice, Taeyeon drove home with Tiffany and Sunny. After a quick shower, she went to the living room and the TV and Xbox to play the remastered version of The Last Of Us. Sunny had gotten it last July but Taeyeon was still making her way through the twenty hour game. To be fair, she was a busy person.

"Hey, Taeng," Sunny said, coming out of their room. "Did you check your phone?"

"No," Taeyeon said, eyes still on the screen as she shot down a few clickers. "Why?"

"Sica's having a radio interview on MBC at ten. Tablo's Dreaming Radio. Yuri just announced it on the Soshi group chat."

"Oh. Okay."

"Are you going to listen to it?"

"Are you?" Taeyeon asked back.

"Yep. Fany's coming to our room to listen to it together."

Taeyeon paused the game and checked her phone. Yeah, they were talking about it on the group chat. There were still fifteen minutes to go. "I'll join you later. Call me."

Even though there was still time, Taeyeon didn't feel like playing anymore. Jessica had probably gotten the memo from SM about their new interview guidelines too. Taeyeon hadn't done any interviews yet, so she would get to see how Jessica handled hers first. Knowing Jessica, Taeyeon would have to pay attention.

Even though they were running into each other at KBS, SBS and MBC, they had not spent any real time together, and it was eating away at her. She had rehearsed her apology maybe a thousand times more than her own songs. Taeyeon didn't know if she would actually say it. She had failed so completely as a leader that she didn't deserve to say anything at all. Tiffany said that wasn't the real reason why she had avoided Jessica, but Taeyeon thought so. And shouldn't she know herself best?

Taeyeon went to the kitchen. She opened the fridge and picked out a beer. She finished the can while staring at the digital clock on the microwave count to 22:00. The plan was listen the interview and go straight to sleep. Tomorrow was a long day, one variety talk show appearance, one performance, and then learning choreography for You Know Nothing. It was the no-feature track on her album that was topping the charts, so now it was going to be the song she would perform for music programs.

As usual, she was buzzed when she went back to her bedroom. Sunny and Tiffany were already curled up on Sunny's bed. Taeyeon crawled on, sitting beside Tiffany. She said nothing so that they wouldn't smell the beer in her breath. They didn't like her drinking herself to sleep, but they didn't say anything when the cans in the fridge disappeared. Tiffany thought that Taeyeon should see a doctor to get a sleeping pill prescription, but Taeyeon wanted nothing to do with psychiatrists.

Sunny opened the MBC mini app to tune into the live stream of Tablo's Dreaming Radio. There was a video feed too. The show had just started. Taeyeon lazily rested her head on Tiffany's shoulder.

Tablo spent the better part of his hour throwing softball questions at Jessica, and Taeyeon was starting to drift off when Tablo asked, "You promoted in a group for almost eight years. How does it feel to be a solo artist now?"

"I didn't expect to go solo, ever," Jessica said. "I was one of the main vocalists, but I wasn't the one with talent. I just liked singing and worked hard at learning how to sing in all those years as a trainee. SM was never going to give me my own album. One thing we always had gripes with was, because we're such a big group, whenever we perform a song each of us gets maybe fifteen to thirty seconds, or less. That's like hours and months and years of practice just to show off a few seconds. So in a way... if there's a silver lining to be found, it's only because of last year that I'm getting so much time now to perform for my fans."

"Isn't it lonely though? A lot of idols who I interview say they get bored when they promote on their own because they're so used to having their team around."

"What about you, oppa? Did you feel that way when you released Fever's Dream without Epik High?"

"Ah, just like Jessica-ssi to answer a question with another question. I will answer you if you give me a proper answer later. That was during Tajinyo, and my other two members were in the army, so it's not like I had a choice either," Tablo said. "At the time I had some fear of performing in public again, so I did have a me-against-the-world feeling. And I did miss my members."

"Like I said, I never expected to not be in a group, so I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss... those people," Jessica said.

"Is she allowed to be talking about this?" Tiffany said in a loud whisper.

Jessica continued. "I miss some of them, I suppose. But..."

"But?"

"But there are a lot of emotions and unsettled issues in the way, so I don't really care for all these questions that are for idols who are still in their groups. Is this some alternate universe where I'm still in Girls' Generation?"

Taeyeon sneaked a glance and hoped her face didn't look like Sunny or Tiffany's.

"It's not, Jessica-ssi. Listeners, the temperature in the recording room just dropped a few notches."

"Yes, another Girls' Generation reference. Sica Effect. Ice Princess. What's new, right?"

Tablo chuckled. "Calm down, Jessica-ssi. I'll do away with the boring questions and lame comments."

"Thanks, oppa. I hope I didn't come across too strongly."

"No, I like it like this on Dreaming Radio, although PD-nim is sweating bullets right now. Your manager looks rather grim too." Tablo chuckled again. "As for me, I really like this honesty. It's rare from idols. I'll call you Jessica from now on."

"Sure, oppa."

"So, Jessica. Promotional schedules are a tricky thing. Like, if Bigbang was going to release an album, I can't count on one hand anyone I know in the industry who would willingly release their album in the same week, or even the same month. So I presume that SM purposely timed your promotions to coincide with SNSD's Taeyeon-ssi."

"That's fairly obvious."

"Yeah, so, what do you think about that?"

"It's total bull," Jessica replied. "I had to postpone my album release a few weeks to wait for Taeyeon-ssi. Look, I'm grateful to all the fans who are showing me support by buying my albums, but I would really rather they be doing that for me and my music instead of for the sake of showing Taeyeon-ssi or Girls' Generation up."

The suggested answer was that a little competition never hurt anyone. It was an honor for them both to get to promote alongside each other. A ridiculous lie that wouldn't be true even if Jessica were still in the group.

"Why the heck are they talking about this?" Sunny asked.

Tiffany said, "Yeah, what the hell, oh my god. Tae, you know anything about this?"

"SM Marketing wants us to play up the rivalry thing, so they're allowing stronger questions now," Taeyeon said. "Tablo's isn't diffusing Sica's answers as usual, or he wouldn't be Tablo, but SM should have known that before sending her in. Sica is not following the suggested answers though."

"Is she going to be in trouble?" Tiffany asked.

"I don't know," Taeyeon said.

"Well, she's certainly in trouble with us," Sunny said.

"That's a nice sentiment, Jessica, but it's marketing and the company's got to make bank."

"I get that."

"And just like how singers have to go on variety shows if they want to go mainstream, this is just another way to sell albums, right?"

"You're right. I'm not complaining if SM thinks I'm a match for Taeyeon-ssi, of course," Jessica said, as dry as ice.

"Ah, don't be so modest," Tablo said. "I did a featuring on Taeyeon's album, but I gotta say your album's pretty rad too. You even had the American R&B pop star Jason Derulo feature on a song, right?"

"Yeah, that was when I was recording in New York. He gave a song to me and it was nice."

"It is nice. Let's listen to On The Plane. Jessica feat Jason Derulo." And the song started playing.

Sunny muted her phone. "I don't know if I want to listen to this crap anymore."

"I mean, I get it!" Tiffany said. "I totally get it."

"Get what?" Sunny said.

"I understand where Jess is coming from, of course," Tiffany said, "but hearing her talk about us like this is just... god, I feel like calling her the b-word."

"Isn't this the kind of interviews you like on your American shows?" Taeyeon said. Tiffany and Jessica always went off about their 'more progressive' talk shows and radio programs.

"Yes, but- but- but, they're talking in Korean, in Korea! When in Rome, do as the Romans do. And we're us. It's different," Tiffany said.

"If you two want to continue listening," Sunny cut in, "go to Fany's room. I'm going to blast music through my earphones for the next hour."

Taeyeon checked her phone. The group chat was oddly quiet too. To be honest, Taeyeon didn't think that Jessica had said anything that bad. Everything was still professional and within the fringes of Korean entertainment limits. Fans would not be happy getting reminded about the broken Soshibond though. And then there was the actual Soshibond that was clearly butthurt right now.

Taeyeon followed Tiffany out, but stopped at the living room. Tiffany reached her bedroom and quirked an eyebrow at Taeyeon, who shook her head. Tiffany shrugged slightly and shut her door. Taeyeon grabbed her car keys and left the apartment.

Taeyeon slipped into her Audi and tuned the radio to MBC FM4U. Jessica's song had ended and commercials were playing now. Taeyeon gunned the engine and drove. She just roamed the streets. Car lights streaked by in reds and whites. Taeyeon was slightly buzzed from her beer, but she wasn't swerving into adjacent lanes or rearending bumpers.

Tablo and Jessica were still talking, but this time about the differences between New York City and Hong Kong. 

"Would you like to address the rumors about you in Hong Kong?"

"Are you talking about the Kwon guy who is not Yuri?"

"Yes, Tyler Kwon."

"Like I've said countless times, he's just a friend," Jessica said. "Our relationship is about as real as Baekyeon."

Taeyeon jammed the accelerator. Then she realized what she was doing and stomped on the brakes. Somehow her Audi A5 managed to stop just before the public bus in front.

"Oh...?" Tablo said, not knowing what else to say.

Jessica's empty laughter filled the car. "Did I really just say that out loud? I was just joking. I don't know their affairs. Don't take me seriously."

"Yeah, let's not go there. Listeners, obviously Jessica was just trying to say that rumors and what fans know aren't real relationships. Even if those relationships actually exist in real life, people just project what they think and don't know the truth, automatically making said relationship fake. It's what that is between the two people that actually matters." 

Taeyeon got honked at from the back, and realized from the empty lane in front of her car that she should have moved off ages ago. She parked at the curb. Pulled up the sidebrake. Listened. What the did Jessica mean by Baekyeon not being real? And how dare Jessica talk about her personal life? Taeyeon sat there fuming until Jessica's Shine started playing on the radio, and she realized that Dreaming Radio had ended. 

She changed gears and started driving again, switching radio stations until a channel was playing a song that she actually wanted to hear. Taeyeon took a U-turn and headed towards Jessica's apartment.

At Jessica's apartment compound, Taeyeon rolled down her window for the security guard to see her. Mr. Sung still recognized her. "Haven't seen you in a while."

Taeyeon smiled back and Mr. Sung waved her through. Her broadcast-friendly grin dropped immediately as she pulled up at the visitor's lot that faced the lobby. 

It was time to wait. All the radio stations were being s, so Taeyeon plugged in her phone and played her own damn album.

A black van finally turned into the basement carpark. Taeyeon watched Jessica get off the car, which reversed out before Jessica reached the lift lobby. Taeyeon got out of the car and went up to her.

Jessica glanced back briefly, and then turned around in shock.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Taeyeon somehow managed to keep her hands from shoving Jessica into the elevator doors. "I don't go around spilling your personal issues. You don't even know anything! What gives you the right to talk about Baekhyun and me?"

Jessica's face regained its composure. "Are you talking as my ex or as cuddly Baek's ex?

"Neither! As former co-workers, maybe, but sure as hell as two mature industry sunbaes," Taeyeon said. "You're an unprofessional for talking about Baekhyun and me. Not to mention how you ed about Soshi to the whole wide world. Did you lose your freaking mind?"

"Don't speak to me like that," Jessica said. "We're not team members anymore. You don't get to speak down to me. I'll say what I want to say. Deal with it. You can about me too or do whatever the you want. That's what you always do, and you'll always come out on top because you're Kim ing Taeyeon. So get off my property. You're not my guest. I'll call the police on you and you can deal with SNSD's Taeyeon Arrested for Tresspassing Jessica Jung's Home."

Taeyeon jabbed a finger at Jessica. "You're an . What goes around comes around. We'll see how fans like your ing."

With that, she spun around and strode back to her car.

"Suit yourself!"

Taeyeon slammed the door shut and bolted out of the carpark.

A/N: Thanks for the comments/subscriptions last chapter. Let me know what you thought about this one!