CHAPTER TWENTY: Jessica's basis

"What the hell..." Jessica muttered. I understand? What on earth. Rest well? Double what the . Incomprehensible garbage.

If only Jessica could stop thinking about Taeyeon for five minutes. What kind of obsession was this, anyway? It was emotionally draining. Not a good sign. You get exhausted, you wonder what's the point, and suddenly you're screaming at each other and everything is O.V.E.R. It is not emotionally draining, Jessica Jung. Don't call it that. We are just having an issue, and issues are simply uncomfortable.

The issue was her. It should not be a big deal to listen to the Lion Heart album. If Yoona had a drama, she'd watch at least the first episode. If Seohyun starred in a musical, well, she wouldn't be able to watch it because the public might see her, but she'd want to watch it, no doubt. If S.H.Y. released an album, she would get a kick out of workout sessions with the funk blasting in her earphones. Yet, somehow, Lion Heart was a different proposition.

But of course it was different. She could have been in it.

The group had probably executed the album as if they were performing Into The New World, because this was the time to do it like that. She didn't know if SM had invested their best effort in it, but regardless, the public was taking to the album well.

And now Taeyeon knew that despite her best efforts, Jessica did not want to listen to the new album. So me.

The sun set, and Jessica became worried. She needed to take the stick in her perfectly shaped out. The members had their new expiry dates to get worried about. Taeyeon was probably blaming herself left and right for whatever- about Tiffany, about the group- seriously, they didn't need her on top of it.

She sincerely hoped that Taeyeon did not tell the others that she hadn't listened to Lion Heart.

Seriously, it wasn't a big deal.

She picked up the album off her shelf. It had all eight signatures, and eight pages were overflowing with personal notes, probably eight more pages had jokey comments. Needless to say, Jessica hadn't read a word. She flipped right to the back cover, where the disc was embedded, and levered it out. She slipped it onto the stereo tray and pushed the tray in.

The stereo's display lit up, a soothing blue. Just as it went from loading to auto play, she hit the pause button.

She turned to the track list. She could listen to the first three songs, no problem. She had heard them before. Now, she heard them again. In high-definition, surround sound. She kept the volume low.

Taeyeon's voice was amazing. Every so often, Jessica would get a taste of that reliable voice. Taeyeon knew how to make a song better. She knew how to take the feelings of the person before her and pass it on to the next member. She also knew how to stand out in the crowd of eight voices. 

Sure, lots of times, Taeyeon would catch a cold, or miss a pitch, or run out of air too early, but Jessica had heard all of it since she was fifteen, and had never once taken Taeyeon's singing for granted.

Jessica listened to all of the members individually. When she got to Green Light, she agreed that Sooyoung was hilariously incredible. Seohyun, as usual, had improved yet again. Tiffany, Sunny and Yuri were as expected. Yoona and Hyoyeon were unsurprisingly surprising.

Whenever it got to a chorus, she'd tune out, but that wasn't enough. She knew which backup vocals she'd do. She knew which ad libs would have been hers. She knew which parts of every song suited her. Jessica was pretty sure that, other than Bump It, no other song had been written after her departure. The songs would have been better arranged into nine parts. Jessica was positive about this.

She was eating dinner with her parents when Taeyeon called.

She picked up. "Taengoo."

"Hey," Taeyeon said.

"What's the matter? Have you eaten dinner?"

"Just ordered. We're practicing."

"Don't tell me. Healthy noodles."

"Yep, seafood makgusu."

"Keunsuk is living up to his name."

"I swear," Taeyeon said, "he better give up soon because I'm not gonna change. Once I'm free I'm definitely going back to my gopchang."

"We'll see about that. You're so easily influenced. You eat berries all the time now."

"I need my sugar and Keunsuk's kinda shut my coke supply down."

"Can't Tiff be your dealer?"

"She doesn't drink soda at home anymore. Only during concerts. Nowadays, she's all about that alcohol. Thanks to her, Sunny's been expanding her horizons."

"With regards to champagne and whiskey, I suppose."

"Yeah."

"Hmm." Jessica chuckled.

"Yep," Taeyeon said. "What about you? What did you have for dinner?"

"Baked salmon. Penne tossed with bell pepper, olive oil, sundried tomatoes and garlic."

"I'm jealous."

"You should be. And it's Mom's cooking too."

Taeyeon gaped over the phone. Her own mother was in Jeonju! Three hours away! "You ."

Jessica grinned.

Then there was a moment when they both wanted to get on with the conversation yet put it off. Between two people who have been together through SM bootcamp and then the K-pop life, every second stretches into an eternity.

So Jessica consolidated her apology and swallowed her explanation. Instead, she said, "Bump It is my favorite."

"Yeah. It's mine, too," Taeyeon said.

"Good thing it's not the title then."

"...You ," Taeyeon said. "Whatever. Know what?"

"What?"

"Genie's what. They dumped the whole electronic remix and completely screwed up the choreography. Instead of Hyo's solo, there's a lame dance bit where we have on stairs or something. Leg synchronization. It's so damn hard."

And since Taeyeon was talking to her about the group, Jessica knew that she was understood. Maybe not totally forgiven, because Taeyeon didn't forget, but this was the most she could hope for over one phone call. She smiled. "Synchronized on the stairs sounds pretty damn fabulous to me."

"If you had to-" Taeyeon stopped herself, but Jessica heard everything. If you had to do it, you'd be singing a different tune. It's like you would totally be lying down all day because it's so troublesome. Now Taeyeon just had to say that in her own words. "I'm pretty sure you'd chuck a book at Jaebum-oppa if Looking Good had a choreo like that."

"True. I hate stairs."

"I kinda love how they make your feel."

"God. Goodbye, now," Jessica said. "Go wait for your low-salt takeout in a dark corner. Away from my friends."

She hung up before Taeyeon could reply, feeling pretty good about life.

Seungwoo was an earnest manager who was bursting with energy because he was unsuccessful and unmarried. She was still getting used to him, but so far, she had few complaints.

Like, as long as she plied him with the occasional anecdote of Sunny, so worthless that none would ever get aired on television, he'd drive her to the dorms whenever she wanted. Even volunteered to stop by coffee shops on the way. She wondered if baristas knew who her new manager was. Doubtful, but she reckoned that nine coffees would make a blip of an impression. She was being far-fetched.

Today, she had two plastic capsules of coffee beans. And neither was for Sunny. He dropped her off at the basement. She took the elevator up, but not as high as usual.

It had been a long day. Myungmin had secured casual discussions with a few entertainment agencies. Strictly casual, and merely discussions. Seungwoo had been frank about 'a free agent like her' needing to sign with someone fast.

Jessica was fine with being labeled 'a free agent like her' because she had to be. Besides, she would get demoralized doing whatever Seungwoo had to do, so she was glad to have him on board.

"What's that?" Hyoyeon asked when she opened the door to her apartment.

"Espresso beans."

"Good for staying up."

She kicked off her heels. "You have vodka?"

"Of course I do. Are we drinking coffee or alcohol?"

"Depends on Yuri."

They made their way to Hyoyeon's bedroom, where Yuri was lying on the bed with a face mask on. "Hey, Sica."

"Kwon Yul. Take that cucumber pack off and go get the Kahlua."

Yuri smirked without moving her face. Jessica squealed as Yuri deliberately brushed past her, eyes gleaming. Five minutes later, Yuri returned with a bottle of Kahlua liquer. It was coffee infused. The brand of this bottle was the best in Mexico, where the liquer originated. Yuri was a coffee aficionado like that.

Hyoyeon went to her mini-fridge. "I see where this is going."

She took out a shaker from the freezer shelf, popped ice cubes from the small ice tray, and dumped some into the shaker.

Jessica went to the expresso machine in the kitchen and made a cold press. She knew where the wine glasses were.

Into the shaker went one part espresso, one part vodka and one part Kahlua. Hyoyeon served it, shaken, not stirred. The three of them clinked glasses. The taste was sweet, sharp and bitter. It lingered on the tongue. Yuri approved.

Yuri downed hers in one go. Hyoyeon hadn't poured as much for her, because she had an early schedule the next day. These two days were chill because Yoona, Sooyoung and Sunny had other things on, and TaeTiSeo had an album jacket to shoot. Yuri had to film a cameo tomorrow.

Hyoyeon had nothing on. Jessica hadn't been pulling all-nighters in preparation of a concert. Here the two of them stayed in Hyoyeon's bedroom, drinking their martinis.

Jessica told Hyoyeon about the CEOs she had met earlier on.

"Like anyone?"

"Contract terms are good though."

"Don't settle."

Jessica nodded. "I don't intend to."

"I wonder what position I'll be in when it's my turn."

"It's good to make preparations early. Not like me, though. Like the others."

"Defo, I wouldn't be able to survive if it was me. I'd be a hobo!"

"No you wouldn't."

"Come on. Nobody's expecting me to go solo."

"You don't even want to."

"True."

"I've been thinking about how to prepare for the ten year mark," Hyoyeon said. "I talked to Minji about Millenium, and she connected me with Seungri. We had a short phone call, but he had a ton of advice."

If it was Minzy and Seungri, then it was about their academies. Jessica said, "You want to start a dance studio?"

"Bingo."

"Are you for real? I'm asking because you've gone back and forth on this like forever."

"For real this time. I have it all planned out. I keep thinking up choreographies for all sorts of levels, you know? And I've filmed practice videos too."

"You'll need investors. A lawyer and a business plan."

"Thinking about that gives me a headache."

"I can recommend people who can recommend people, but you shouldn't use the people I used."

"Sure, that would be great, thanks."

"Yep."

They refilled their glasses.

"Ya, Sica," Hyoyeon said. "Do you really think it's a good idea?"

"I'd be straight with you if it wasn't."

"I know..."

"Besides, I'm not a reliable advisor when it comes to starting businesses."

Hyoyeon laughed. "I know. I'm still gonna trust you though. You learned stuff."

Jessica faked a cry. "I was a test dummy?"

Hyoyeon grinned as she downed her glass. She punched Jessica in the shoulder. "Alright! No lie. I'm gonna go for it!"

Jessica smacked Hyoyeon and earned another punch. 

"If no one signs up, you better drag your girlfriend and your sister to my studio and get them annual subscriptions."

"Yes, yes. Drink up and go to sleep. Up, up, up," Jessica said. "Then I can go up, up, up to ingratiate said girlfriend with your idea."

When Jessica let herself into the apartment, Taeyeon was rolling an empty bottle of beer in between her palms. She was sitting at the dining table, staring at the blank wall opposite.

Taeyeon's ears were red. Her droopy eyes widened fractionally. "I didn't expect you tonight."

"What's up? Why're you drinking?" Jessica asked, because when Taeyeon drank like this it was to sleep.

Taeyeon stood. "I'mma g'brush my teeth."

"What's keeping you up?"

"Heh, y'caught me, but there's nothing."

"This isn't a good habit."

"You guys drink all the time. Y'look like you drank."

"We don't rely on it to sleep though."

"Nag at me when me is sober."

"Fine." Jessica crossed the space between them and enclosed Taeyeon in her arms. She hugged Taeyeon tight. Felt thin shoulders shake a little, but with a tight smile, Taeyeon drew back without tears in her eyes.

"I just wanna get to the bathroom."

"Fine, again. Know that, if you're going to be like this, I will come every night."

"When we fight, too?"

"Yep."

"Eww," Taeyeon muttered. She paused at the bathroom entrance and sidled to let Jessica in first. 

Jessica went in. A hand made its way to the back pocket of her jeans. She rolled her eyes. "I should be the one saying eww, ."

A/N: Thanks for the comments and upvotes last chapter. Every one of them was so helpful. What was good/bad about this chapter?