CHAPTER FOURTEEN: Jessica's proposal

On Sunday, Jessica was two trophies happier having swept the Triple Crown. 

Taeyeon was avoiding her very easily, as always. Jessica just wanted a reply, at least a rejection. Being in limbo . During MuCore and Inkigayo's long wait time between rehearsal and broadcast, Taeyeon winked out like a light. With the group making their comeback next week, they were practicing all hours. She looked so exhausted that Jessica couldn't just shake her awake and say, 'hey, you know, I asked if you wanted to be my girlfriend yesterday'.

Taeyeon disappeared after the Inkigayo encore to go to SM. Myungmin drove her and the trophy back home. By the time they got through all the traffic, it was five. Krystal congratulated her before returning back to a rerun of Friends on cable TV. 

Jessica set the new trophy down on her dresser and sat down, looking at her face in the mirror. Her makeup was loud for broadcast. She had cleared a shelf of her bookcase for these trophies. It was nothing compared to the group's two display cases standing proudly in SM, of course. Still, this was hers. She wanted to celebrate. Just not alone.

Her phone buzzed.

She looked at Myungmin's name as the iPhone vibrated on the table for a few seconds until she realized that it was a legit call. She answered it. "Hey, oppa."

"Jessica," Myungmin said. "Good new, bad news."

"Bad news first."

"President Kim decided to nix promotions, as we expected. Doesn't want to muddle their comeback."

"Fine." She glanced at the trophy. "Good news?"

"The new version of To My Face has sold more than your two title tracks, and it's only been three days. I think the President will want Taeyeon and you to do a duet album tog-"

"I don't want to," she said.

"Very well. I'll relay that to him if he brings it up. But congratulations on the sales."

"Thanks. How's the schedule like for B&E tomorrow?"

"You have three back to back meetings to finalize the denim line designs, and one photoshoot. You should be done by six."

"Okay. Thanks, oppa. See you tomorrow."

"Yep. I'll pick you up at eight-thirty."

She set her phone done and swiped the trophy off the table. It clattered to the floor, then she sat in silence. She went to the bathroom and washed off her makeup thoroughly.

Jessica didn't wake up to her phone buzzing incessantly for five missed calls, but she did wake up when Krystal shook her by the shoulder.

"What?" she mumbled.

"Wake up, sis."

"What time is it?"

"Two."

"The hell do you want."

"You want to wake up, ugly. I am going back to sleep."

"You're the ugly one."

She heard Krystal leave the room. She slipped back into sleep.

Then her sister came back into the room and patted on her shoulder like a woodpecker. Baby sisters were pests. She mumbled and slapped the hand away. " off."

"Sica." And that was Taeyeon's voice.

Jessica wondered what the hell that voice was doing here before her eyes snapped open. "Taeyeon?"

"Hi."

"Why are you here?"

"Practice just finished," Taeyeon said. "We'll be even busier in the coming weeks, so I guess I should give you an answer now. "

"Yeah," she said. She rubbed her eyes and yawned. Felt bad because Taeyeon looked like a dying bird and here she was like a princess enjoying her beauty sleep. She pulled Taeyeon by the hand so that she was seated too. "These two days felt like forever. I thought you were being a jerk."

"I talked with Sunny and Tiffany. They both had the same answer as last time."

"Ah. So, which one are you going to listen to?"

"Neither. We have to do things differently this time, right?"

Jessica nodded, a smile breaking over her face. In the dim dark she could see her discarded trophy on the floor. "It'll inevitably be different, actually."

"What do you mean?"

"I only have B&E to work on now," Jessica said. And I don't think it's just for this solo. I think I'm done, period. "I always knew it was coming, but it still feels sudden."

"But you just won three in a row. Shouldn't they let you continue?"

Jessica chuckled. She didn't mean to sound bitter. "Is that a real question?"

Taeyeon frowned. "No, I guess not. I'm sorry you have to stop because of us."

"Don't be. I'm still part of the team, right? Team before self."

A heavy sigh, and Taeyeon slid off the bed so that she was sitting on the floor and resting her head back on the bed. "I guess I do like you."

Jessica played with Taeyeon's hair. It was all wiry and dry. You don't just like me, pabo. "It's late. How did you get here?"

"Drove."

"Stay here tonight, then," Jessica said. "You know where everything is."

"Okay." Taeyeon struggled to her feet and tottered towards the bathroom dopily. Jessica left the comfort of her bed for a few seconds to pick the Inkigayo trophy up and set it on her bookshelf. Her last trophy. It deserved better treatment.

For the next few days, Jessica didn't get to see Taeyeon much. It was always, 'sorry, in a meeting' or 'sorry, practicing'. Taeyeon wouldn't even send her a selfie. Jessica was understanding. It was her first few days of their new relationship. People always tried hard at the beginning, so she was sure Taeyeon was doing her best to stay in touch.

She checked the Taeyeon's Instagram. Just to look at a few selfies and pretend that they were personally messages. Lo and behold, the first photo was taken four hours ago. SNSD's Taeyeon had time for the fans, but Kim Taengoo didn't have any for Jessica Jung.

Jessica scrolled through Taeyeon's collection. Then she reached the photo the group took for her birthday, when they were all pretending to blow out the candles with their nose, like idiots. It had been one of her sub-zero jokes, but all the members jumped on the wagon just because it was her birthday. She smiled at the memory.

She involuntarily looked at the comment below Taeyeon's caption. Some fan had written: I miss Sica. Thank you for not removing this photo, Taeyeon-unnie.

Was this some kind of Jessica shrine? She chuckled at the thought of a hundred Sone minions going to everyone's Instagram and writing eulogies like she was dead. Curious, she scrolled down. 

There were a hundred trolls for every cute eulogist.

stay_064: Why did you kick Jessica out?
everydae9: Do you hate Sica so much?
sjh_why: I bet you want soshi to be just taeny.
superhae97: You and your OT8 are fake es.
minh_love1: When you go for your next plastic surgery appointment, I hope the doctor screws up so that everyone can see how ugly you are inside.
pram4nsmdra: you 3
baekyeolfor3ver: Let go of Baekhyun-oppa.
byunbaekhyun_92: Kekeke, Taeyeon~ Love, Baekkie.

Jessica had no idea what Baekyeon comments were doing here.

misterchu95: Everyone who loves you is stupid. You act weak outside. The real you is a jealous .
toey_36: I used to be your fan. Now I hate you. All my friends feel the same.
justin_bieber0214: I hope your members stab you in the back like you stabbed Sica-unnie in the back.
kryshining: Go kill yourself.
jsy_jung: I hope you get more depressed so that you can die quicker.

She got so angry so fast, it was alarming in its absolute intensity. Jessica frowned. As expected, reading comments was unrewarding.

She knew Taeyeon set aside time especially to read comments because the midget believed in universal feedback. She remembered what it was like being verbally abused like this, too, when she used to bother. But she hadn't read what anonymous losers had written for real in years. Reading them now, she was heating up in anger. Taeyeon should just tell them all to shut the up. 

She switched to the chat app and opened the conversation with Taeyeon.

[Sent 18:43]
hey, when does practice end tonight?
[Received 18:44]
12, hopefully.
[Sent 18:45]
good, i'll go to the dorm.
signing out now so u can't stop me^^
theme of the day is: tell the haterz to stfu
[Received 18:50]
Wtf?
[Sent 18:51]
u should read books instead.
[Received 18:52]
W.t.f?
[Sent 19:12]
what's the password.
[Received 19:30]
Not telling. You should be sleeping.
[Send 19:31]
nvm. i bet u didn't change it^^

She got Krystal to drive her to Taeyeon's apartment after dinner. There wasn't really a good reason why she couldn't drive herself. The combination on the electronic door lock was the same as the last time she let herself in. She made a comfortable nest on the leather sofa in the living room and the television. She flicked the cable through the American channels until there was something she wanted to watch. Oh, the boredom.

Come to think of it, she hadn't even listened to the latest group album. She would have to ask Yoona for it. She couldn't ask Seohyun because maknae was unexploitable. All the other members would make a snide joke about buying the album when it hit iTunes. Oh, the nerve.

Jessica muted the television and took out her phone. She played her album on loudspeaker, knowing that she wouldn't bother listening to it for a long time.

She fell into a light sleep with the lights on and music playing. The electronic door lock beeped like an alarm clock and woke her up. She stopped the music player on her phone.

Tiffany came through first. She saw that the lights were on and looked to see who was inside. Her eyes widened when she saw that it was Jessica. Then she understood and froze for a second before turning back while Taeyeon came in. Taeyeon saw Jessica and just sighed. Sunny wriggled past her two comatose apartment mates and whooped when she saw their visitor.

"Ha! I knew it!" Sunny shouted.

Taeyeon waved her away. "Shoo. Go to sleep. It's seven again tomorrow."

Sunny held up her phone. "Kiss for the camera so that I can post in on the group chat."

"Seriously, both of you, go away."

"Fine, fine."

"I didn't even do anything," Tiffany mumbled. She gave Jessica a quick hug and gave Taeyeon the stink eye before disappearing into her bedroom. 

Taeyeon just rolled her eyes and sprawled back on the sofa. She closed her eyes and patted her stomach. "I'm washing up after Sunny, so make it quick. I wanna sleep."

"But Sunny showers like lightning. I've been waiting for you for hours..."

"I told you not to come."

"Ya." Jessica grimaced. "I came with purpose!"

"Whatever. Hurry up."

"Fine. I'm going to say this plainly. When I go to your Instagram, I want to read comments from people who actually care about you and what you post."

"This again?" Taeyeon sighed. "You seriously came all the way here just to talk about this?"

"With all this negativity going around, everyone's going to associate you with bad crap."

"What are you saying? Crappy comments comes with the job. Everyone gets it."

"Maybe it's because I haven't been keeping up with Netizen Buzz, but yours seem particularly intense."

"I just get a bit more of it because more people used to like me. And the group. There's really nothing to it. If it's from anonymous people who don't know half the story, I shouldn't take it personally, right?"

"As if you don't," Jessica said. "What does your mom and dad say?"

Taeyeon kept her eyes closed and continued lightly patting a beat on her stomach. "Let's not talk about that. I get so damn angry just thinking about it. They get hate mail and death threats, supposed to relay them to me. It's all cheap talk, of course, but seriously, they shouldn't be bothering my family."

"That's what I'm talking about, too. Do something about this."

"What do you want me to do? Hunt down antis and tell them to shut up?"

"To shut the up," Jessica said. "Do it, like, legitly. Get SM lawyers to sue them."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah."

Taeyeon opened her eyes. Thought about it. "The company won't do it. Bad press. And we're gonna promote."

"Then after this round of promotions."

"Then we have the Arena tour. TaeTiSeo's got stuff lined up. If I really have to go through all the hassle, I'll just do it after."

"Like at the end of your contract? Nobody's going to care. Everyone will just think you're going to be an attention-seeking former idol. Believe me, that is the case."

"Still, it's best for the group."

"Then just let all your family and your friends and your fans get all this negativity for six hundred more days until SM is done with Girls' Generation. Just let it be. Let it be, let it be."

"Shut up, Sica."

"I shouldn't be the one you want to shut up."

"Sica, I can't."

"You can. Do it. We'll all get behind you and get the company behind you. It is bad press, but they still allow bad press to a certain extent. It keeps us interesting. And they still have leeway to put a spin on this," Jessica said, her voice rising. "You could be like an idol version of a feminist. An idolist. Like, 'Idols deserve better support against antis', or 'Netizens are full of '. I mean, everyone knows that, but we've been too lame."

"Even if all of us..." Taeyeon opened her eyes and looked at Jessica. "They're not going to listen."

"No. It's not like when I got kicked out. They wanted a cut of my pie and I wouldn't give it to them. You're not hogging any pie, just momentarily making it smaller. Or maybe not, it might make it bigger if they sell the idolist spin."

"I don't know," Taeyeon said, and Jessica knew she was on board. In Taenguage, not knowing meant thinking really hardand psyching up oneself to do properly. Jesus. Taenguage? Jessica was losing her edge.

"I'm not trying to force you into anything." Because reverse psychology. "It's just a suggestion."

"No, I guess it's the right thing to do."

"And not just for family and friends, but for you too."

"Whatever."

"Talk it out with the others, then get Keunsuk to kick it off, okay?"

"Whatever," Taeyeon said. "I'm going to shower in peace." She stood up. "If you wait for twenty minutes, I'll bring a blanket out and I can sleep on the couch and you can continue watching your silent TV like a weirdo."

A/N: And we're back. Sorry for this late chapter... How was it? Thanks for the feedback last chapter!