A week had passed since Xiumin had left and snow had fallen again. It was deeper than last time and almost buried Luhan and Sehun in the house. Luhan had been going back to Xiumin’s house every day, but it was always empty and untouched – he hadn’t returned. He was beginning to feel desperately sick and pained. He needed Xiumin - he needed to know that he was safe and the only place he could guarantee his safety was holding him in his arms. Trying to ignore this pain was useless, it just built up inside him and he ended up crying again.

~~~~~~~~~

Luhan and Sehun were sat in front of the fire with hot chocolates. It was freezing outside. Luhan spoke to Sehun so little that it had scared him. He looked over to Luhan. Luhan had a tear down his cheek again, which had rolled over the dark marks under his eyes from lack of sleep. It pained Sehun to see him like this and he was beginning to see that Luhan would not just get over Xiumin. He looked back into his hot chocolate. Xiumin meant so much to him and it was Sehun that had driven him away, he had prevented Luhan from seeing Xiumin. Sehun blamed himself for everything. He knew what he had to do – the letter was in his pocket and he could feel it with his fingers. But again he hesitated. He thought about how much more damage it would cause, and not only to Luhan but to himself. He couldn’t bear it if Luhan never wanted to see him again.

~~~~~~~~~

Luhan had been thinking too much again, and now he was angry. He was really angry – with himself. He was just sitting here moping about, feeling sorry for himself and not trying to find Xiumin. He could be anywhere – and anywhere is not safe – and Luhan was just sitting here. Like he had done for the past week! He was beginning to get furious and he glared down into his hot chocolate. He didn’t deserve a hot chocolate, or his house, or the warmth of the fire. Nothing. He didn’t deserve it because he had upset the most precious thing in the entire universe and he was doing nothing to get him back.

He put his drink down and suddenly stood up, his fists clenched at his sides.

‘Luhan?’ Sehun asked.

‘I can’t do it anymore!’ Luhan yelled, the anger fuming from every cell in his body, ‘I can’t sit here whilst he is out there by himself and not with me. I need to know that he is safe. I can’t bear a single second longer without him, it pains me not to know! I have to go out there and find him because…’

He looked down at the floor for a moment, tears filling his eyes again. He shouted his final words, ‘ BECAUSE I LOVE HIM AND I NEVER GOT TO TELL HIM!’

~~~~~~~~~~

Sehun stared at him in horror as Luhan slumped to the floor again, his whole body heaving as he sobbed into the ground.

What had he done?

‘You… you love him?’ Sehun spluttered, tears forming in his own eyes - he didn’t cry often, ‘Oh god… Luhan, I, I am so sorry.’ Terrified, he took the letter out of his pocket and ripped the address off of the back. Luhan looked up from his arms to see tears blinding him – Sehun mumbled as he spoke, ‘you are going to hate me, I am so, so sorry – I have to fix this.’

He got up, stuffed the torn-off address into his pocket and handed the letter to Luhan. Luhan looked down to see his name on it, in Xiumin’s handwriting. Sehun had started to walk out of the room.

‘Sehun? Where are you going?’ Luhan called.

‘Luhan,’ Sehun whispered, looking back at him, ‘I am so sorry. Read the letter and know that I will not rest until I have found him and brought him back to you.’

He then left without another word.

~~~~~~~~~~

The door slammed, Sehun had left – leaving Luhan alone with the letter. He stared down at it, trying to take it all in.

‘He, he wrote me a letter?’ Luhan whispered.

He opened it slowly and wiped his eyes so that he could see it properly.

He read it:

Luhan,

Firstly, I am sorry - I may have been overreacting but I don’t think you understand. You are the only person in this world that has noticed me. Really noticed me. Others could pass me by and never think about who I was or where I was going. Nobody really cares. But you do! You showed me care more than anyone else will ever show me and for that I love you. That’s right! I LOVE YOU. So now you can see why, when a complete stranger comes in, I run away. Because there is always going to be a better option than me, and Sehun is clearly much better than me.

I will come back soon, I promise, but I will understand if you aren’t here when I do - I am sure that you would prefer to be in the city anyway. And if you think about it, our ‘forest of dreams’ was only ever a dream, wasn’t it? I will always be thinking of you Luhan, and not a day will go by where I don’t. But for now, I cannot stay in the forest – running away from your problems is so much easier than having to face them. I mean everything in this letter, and I am so sorry if it hurts you – that is the last thing I would want in this world. I am staying with a friend and I have put the address of where I am going on the back of the envelope so that you won’t worry about me.

Please know that you mean the world to me and that I will respect any decisions you decide to make.

I love you little deer,

Xiumin

~~~~~~~~~

Luhan read the letter over and over and over again, crying until the tears had soaked the paper, making the ink blurry. He lay on the sofa, clutching the letter to his heart as he cried.

‘He loves me too?’ Luhan whispered.