‘Just leave!’

As soon as he had said it, Luhan had regretted it. His whole heart ached because he hadn’t meant a single word of it. He had just jumped to defend Sehun in the heat of the moment. There was no way that he wanted to move away from the forest - he loved it there! He wouldn’t leave Xiumin if the sky began to fall but in the moment, he had chosen to stick up for Sehun. He didn’t even properly understand why himself, but he guessed that he was just so desperate for them to get on and be friends that he had become angry and upset when they hadn’t.

Now he could only watch as Xiumin began to slip away from him. Tears fell down his face as he begged his Baozi to come back, but he didn’t. Sehun grabbed Luhan’s arms, pulling him into a hug and Luhan wept into his shoulder.

~~~~~~~~

Back at his house, Luhan and Sehun sat in front of the fire. It crackled and hissed, creating sound to fill the silence of the room. Luhan had barely spoken since Xiumin left but he had asked Sehun to stay another night – he couldn’t bear to be alone. Sehun wasn’t the same as Xiumin, but he made good company nevertheless. He reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out the stone that Xiumin had found for him. He his thumb over the shiny red surface then over the side with the engraving.

‘What is that?’ Sehun asked, breaking the silence between them. A tear fell from Luhan’s cheek and onto the stone.

‘Xi-Xiumin made it for me,’ Luhan mumbled, passing it to Sehun who took it carefully and dried it off with his sleeve.

‘It is beautiful,’ Sehun said solemnly, ‘He engraved it himself?’

Luhan nodded as he looked into the fire, which bent out of shape as another tear filled his eye.

‘I have to apologise to him,’ Luhan whispered, taking the stone back, ‘I upset him for no reason and I didn’t even mean a word I said against him. He does nothing but look out for me and I threw it back in his face,’ He wiped his face and began to stand. Sehun put a hand on his arm to stop him, ‘No, not tonight Luhan, wait till the morning when you are less upset.’

Luhan sat back down and sniffed, ‘Yeah, you are right. In the morning.’

~~~~~~~~~~~

Sehun was awoken by the sound of the letterbox in the morning and jolted upright. He had been sleeping on the sofa downstairs whilst Luhan was up in his room. He was a light sleeper so it hadn’t taken much for him to wake up easily and after just a minute, he was completely awake. He got up, walked into the hallway and over to the front door. There was an envelope on the mat. He picked it up and looked at the front - it was for Luhan and he knew exactly whom it was from. He felt sick. He knew that he was second choice to Xiumin and this letter was probably proof that Luhan didn’t need Sehun at all when he had Xiumin there. He turned it over; there was an address on the back. He quickly stuffed it into his pocket, knowing that Luhan would immediately leave him to go to Xiumin if he read it. It was selfish and he knew it, but he had had strong feelings for Luhan ever since he had met him and Xiumin was just getting in the way of that. If he could just spend more time with Luhan, then maybe his feelings would be returned and Luhan would forget Xiumin altogether.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luhan stood at the top of Haven hill with his arms around Xiumin. Xiumin’s small hands were gently his hair and they were so close that he could feel the beating of Xiumin’s heart in his own chest. Luhan waited for something bad to happen but nothing did. He simply stood there in the peace of the moment.

‘See,’ Xiumin whispered, ‘I told you that everything would be okay. We are safe and I lo-’

The door slammed and Luhan woke up suddenly. He then remembered what had happened and felt empty inside. Xiumin was not here to hold him; it had just been a dream. His heart was racing from the slam of the door and he looked over to see his curtains flowing in the wind from his open window – the cause of the door slamming. He quickly got up, showered and got dressed, hurrying downstairs. He grabbed his coat and Xiumin’s red scarf (that he had let him keep), making for the front door. Just as he reached for the handle, he was stopped by Sehun’s voice,

‘Luhan, where are you going?’ Sehun came out of the kitchen, frowning, with a pan in his hand.

‘I have to go to Xiumin,’ he replied.

‘At least have some breakfast first!’ Sehun insisted.

‘No, I can’t, I must talk to him and I have to do it now.’

‘But I started making pancakes! They are you favourite, right?’

‘Yes,’ Luhan smiled and ran a hand down the red scarf, thinking of the time he made them with Xiumin, ‘But I must see Xiumin, he is more important than any breakfast.’

~~~~~~~~~

Luhan walked swiftly up the path to Xiumin’s house and didn’t hesitate before knocking at the door. He waited, but no one came to answer. He knocked again, then called out,  ‘Xiumin please, it’s me, open the door!’

When no one replied, he peered through the window into the house. It looked empty and no lights were on.

Luhan squatted and reached under the mat for the spare key that he knew Xiumin kept there. He unlocked the door and went in. He searched the house but Xiumin was gone. He cried out, as if in pain, and sank down to the floor against the wall in the hallway. Tears began to form again and he didn’t fight them, he just let them come.