Soojung wakes up that morning with a jolt. Her heart races fast under her chest, beads of sweats on her forehead and neck. She sighs, relief that the thing she dreamt is only a nightmare. She places her hand on her rapidly moving chest, trying to calm herself down, muttering, “He’ll be back soon. He’ll be back soon. He’ll be back soon.”

She thinks she’s being ridiculous. She thinks that maybe she misses him a little bit too much that she even had a nightmare that he won’t be coming back. She reaches for her phone and checks on the last chat she had with Myungsoo two days ago, and the text that said he’ll be back is still there. He even said he misses her as well, so there’s no way he’s not coming back.
 

With the thought of him coming back, her heart still races, but this time in excitement and not fear. She smiles, heat spreads out on her cheeks before she kicks the air like how a child usually does. She then sighs, thinking that she might be crazy. She misses him so much to the point her heart feels like it could burst. And she decides she won’t be playing tug-of-war with him again. She’ll tell him the truth. Maybe it’s okay. Maybe it’s okay to be in love again, to love again. Maybe it’s okay if it’s Kim Myungsoo, the very same person she was in love years ago. It’s okay. Trapping herself in the past won’t get her anywhere, anyway.
 

She dresses in a comfy dress after she finishes taking a shower, hair she ties up into a ponytail. She then walks to the bakery, meeting with yawning Jongin right when she steps out to the main road. She kicks him at the back of his knees that he almost falls but he only pulls her with him, saying that he’s too tired to even argue with her. She asks him why. He shrugs, answering, “I’ve been up all night watching Transformers,”
 

Soojung couldn’t help frowning. “You should’ve just slept at home if you’re sleepy, Kim Jongin. Besides, we do this only for temporary, isn’t it?” she shakes her head when Jongin yawns again, thinking that he should really just stay at home. She knows it’s a work matter, but it’s Jongin.
 

“That’s why I’m trying to give my best here. Because it’s temporary,” he says. “At least your mom will remember me as Jongin who works hard in everything and not just Jongin who is a boy next door who is a best friend with my Soojung,” he smiles a proud kind of smile, feeling proud as if he just said something wise and powerful.
 

Soojung makes a face before and before she could even come up with a reply, he cuts her off. “Enough talking about me. Let’s talk about you instead. What have you been up to?” he asks before another yawn escapes from his mouth.
 

“Nothing much,” she shortly replies with a shrug that Jongin gives her an annoyed look.
 

“Are your life that boring since he went to Seoul?” he asks, pivoting so that he walks backwards as he stares at her mischievously. “That you feel like you can’t function without him? That you feel like your heart is half a heart as if he brings it with him. That you sometimes imagining him at his balcony whenever you look across the street. That—“
 

“It’s not to that extent!” she yells, cheeks red both in slight anger and embarrassment.

He chuckles. “For some reasons, I think it’s a good thing that he left. I’m glad that even without his presence, he manages to turn your world upside down. Ain’t that beautiful?” he teasingly asks, causing Soojung to scoff.
 

“How does he manage to turn my world upside down is a good thing?” she asks back before she frowns. “But Jongin,” she calls out, sounding serious that his playful smile fades. He pivots back so that he walks side by side with her again. “How do you know if someone is still into you? How do you know if someone is still there? Do you think he has someone else already? Do you—“
 

“I don’t really know if Myungsoo’s still in love with you,” he cuts her off, emphasizing his name because it’s just that obvious. “But seriously,” he says, staring down to the girl with a questioning look. “How exactly do you unlove someone? I question that myself sometimes and I couldn’t come even with an answer. How does it possible? Or how do you get yourself to that place where all you wish for is his happiness? I don’t know, it’s subjective and flexible, actually. What I say may be right, may be wrong. But what I can tell you is that there is only one love. If any person claims to have loved twice in all their life—they have not loved at all.”
 

Soojung takes some time to absorb all the things Jongin has said, and then not long after that she breaks into a grin. She’s impressed. “Since when did you become this smart?” she asks. And then an idea crosses on her mind. “Does that mean you have never unloved me?” playful glint is evident in her eyes.
 

Jongin’s face turns sour as he slightly embarrassed by the question. “To be honest, I have never unloved you, Jung Soojung,” he says and he wants to laugh looking at her face that shows clear shock. He slings his arm around her shoulder then. “Because there wasn’t love at the first place. I had a crush on you, yes, and I thought I loved you but it wasn’t really. I was in love with the idea of you. I was in love with the idea of loving you. I was in love with you that I made up, that I dreamt of, but,” he mutters, smiling slightly as he wonders how stupid he was at that age to even think it was love when it wasn’t. “it wasn’t you. It wasn’t you that I was in love with.” He says, finally admitting the truth after what it seems like forever.
 

Soojung sighs out loud, relief because it isn’t love before she tiptoes and slings her arm around Jongin as well. “I’m glad it isn’t love,” she smiles gratefully, couldn’t imagine if Jongin likes her more than that. She’s glad Jongin’s just a best friend, a brother. She’s glad Jongin’s just only that.
 

Jongin nods, returning her smile. “I’m glad it isn’t love,” he then grins so wide that Soojung thinks he’s going to say something stupid and ridiculous. “Because loving you might be hard since you’re just complicated more than Math and you’re such a pain in the neck,” with that, he pushes her hand away rather harshly before he speeds up and leaves her behind.
 

Soojung scoffs in disbelief, eyes wide with hands on her waist, wanting to yell but then Jongin turns around when he’s at the end of the road, smiling so adorably, and she couldn’t help but smile with him.
 

+

Soojung wipes the beads of sweats on her forehead with the back of her hand as she runs her eyes across the room. It’s