It been 2 months and I still crying because of them especially because of her, I still can’t believe that I was not part of them anymore. I was so excited that day for our Fan meeting but I didn’t think that day is when my world falls apart. I was upset that they didn’t even contact me after they inform me THROUGH text that I was out. I call them but they didn’t pick up so I give up.

I shut my world few days after that day, but I can just shut down my responsibility on my company so I decided to work and just show the world that I was okay. That I’m still here, I show myself for the first time again in the media when I attend the Lane Crawford party, I smile at them like nothing happen. I can fake my smile for everyone, for my family especially my sister who was worried sick because of me.

I continue my life and just go with the flow. So here I was in Hong Kong attending in Yahoo buzz awarding while they are Tokyo for the concert I dream off since I was in trainee. I just won most research Asian personality, maybe because of me being out of the nation girl group. I smile and thank everyone when I receive the award. After I answered few question I get down on the stage.

The truth is I was planning on watching there concert which was our dream concert but decided not to because someone may see me, and create some gossip, I envy them because they can perform there, I hope that someday I can perform there also with them but th