When Luhan had showered and got dressed, an hour had passed as he had stood in the shower forever to get rid of his confusion – in vain.

When he entered the kitchen, Minseok, Jongin, Sehun, Jia, Junmyeon and a girl whose name he couldn’t remember were already sitting at the breakfast table.

“Good morning”, Jia said brightly and flashed a sweet smile. Luhan nodded and sat down next to Minseok, he realized too late that he was facing Jongin.

Jongin shortly smiled at him and then looked back onto his half-eaten toast.

It was a quiet breakfast, as the loudest and nosiest – Baekhyun and Chanyeol – were still sleeping. Junmyeon talked quietly with the girl next to him, Jia threw hopeful glances towards Luhan, but Luhan barely noticed them.

Maybe it was because it had been late in the night yesterday when he had met Jongin, or maybe it was a trick of his mind, but Jongin did not look like yesterday. His handsome features looked a bit blurred, Luhan could still see the outrageous and enviable handsomeness in his face, but it was as if someone had smudged it over night. But on second thought everyone on the table showed signs of a wild night, he wasn’t the only one with dark circles under the eyes.

“Morning”, a soft voice murmured and Zitao sat down on Luhan’s right.

“Good morning”, Luhan said and eyed his friend closely. “Where have you been yesterday all night long?”, Luhan asked.

Zitao shrugged, he wasn’t wearing his leather jacket anymore, but instead a long sleeved low cut shirt. “I was taking a walk at the beach”, he murmured then.

And so Luhan didn’t ask any further, he reached Zitao the water bottle and accidently brushed Jongin’s glass, which he was shoving around slightly on the table.

“Thanks”, Zitao said and grabbed a toast although he didn’t make a move to eat it.

Luhan frowned. Jongin’s other hand was resting on the table, his finger drummed in a quick rhythm onto the table plate. Before Luhan could complain, Sehun put his hand onto Jongin’s. But unlike yesterday when Jongin had thrown himself all over Sehun, he looked as if his hand was burning underneath Sehun’s. His eyes hushed through the kitchen as if he was looking for something.

Finally he brushed off Sehun’s hand and excused himself with a hoarse voice. Sehun bit his lip and stared at his own hand.

“Everything okay?”, Minseok asked who seemed to have also witnessed Jongin’s odd behavior.

“Did you guys fight?”, he added carefully. Sehun looked up surprised and he quickly hid his face behind a layer of an embarrassed smile. “Sort of”, he said and got up.

“I better… go after him”, he said and followed Jongin out of the kitchen.

The two girls were filling the dishwasher while the boys discussed the plans for the next days. Just when Minseok suggested making a volleyball competition at the beach, a very tired Jongdae entered the kitchen.

“You already cleaned up? Is there still some coffee?”, he yawned. Junmyeon handed him a pot. “Baekhyun and Chanyeol will come down in a minute as well…”

At noon everyone was up and seated in the cool air-conditioned living room, Jongin and Sehun were back as well. Jongin had his arm around Sehun’s shoulders which obviously meant that they had made up. When Luhan went into the basement to get some beverages, Jongin followed him, saying he wanted to help him.

“It’s going to be fun, although I prefer soccer”, Jongin said and leaned against the cool stone wall in the dimly lit basement. Luhan opened the fridge.

“Huh?”, he said. “Volleyball… it’s going to be fun, I said, although I like soccer more. I used to be on a soccer team”, Jongin repeated.

Luhan handed him a carte of beer. “Why not anymore?”, he asked. Jongin was not nervous or tensed like he had been at the breakfast. He looked just like yesterday, calm and cool, he was moving a bit slow however.

“Uh… lots of stuff happened. It got complicated… you know”, he said and shrugged. Luhan hesitated. “Okay”, he said then, because he didn’t know what else to say.

“You and Sehun… I mean, I don’t want to be impolite-“, he started as they made their way back through the basement carrying the beverages in their arms.

“What is it?”, Jongin simply asked. Luhan blushed. “Is… everything okay between the two of you? Today in the morning it looked… as if you two had a fight”, he said hesitant.

Jongin frowned.

“Look, your guys’ relationship is not really my business, but I don’t want any stress during this week. And I don’t want anyone to fight here”, Luhan said and narrowed his eyes.

For the first time Jongin looked at Luhan directly. “There won’t be any problems, don’t worry. It was not a big deal. We’ve been dating for a long time and we’ve had worse fights…”, Jongin said.

Luhan looked back at Jongin and for a second he wanted to tell Jongin that Sehun had tried several times to cheat on him. But as he stared into Jongin’s brown eyes, he remembered how Sehun had looked at him while he had been kissing Jongin and instead he asked: “How long have you been together?” Although he really didn’t want to know.

“4 years”, Jongin said and looked away. Luhan didn’t say anything and was glad that they finally had reached the living room.

For the rest of the day, Luhan couldn’t relax, he needed to sort things out. But it wasn’t easy to sit down and think over everything, constantly someone wanted to talk to him or wanted him to take a shot or to play volleyball. It was late afternoon, when Luhan said he needed to go to the bathroom and walked back to his house.

He had a headache and he was annoyed.

“Please, Sehun. I swear this is the last time… I promise”.

Luhan stopped in the hallway as he heard voices coming from the living room. He peeked around the corner and saw Jongin pulling Sehun close to him.

“Sehun…”, he whispered and kissed him. He kissed him over and over again and let his shaky fingers run through Sehun’s hair until Sehun gently shoved him back, he hadn’t kissed him back.

“Jongin, we talked about this a hundred times. I can’t”, he said quietly and shook his head. He looked away and Jongin’s shoulders tensed. “Sehun…” Jongin grabbed Sehun’s shoulders harshly.

“Let me go”, Sehun whispered.

“No, Sehun, listen”, Jongin started. “Let me go, it hurts, Jongin. Let me go”, Sehun interrupted him quietly. Jongin shook his head wildly.

“Don’t make a scene here”, Sehun hissed. “Don’t it up again, where everyone can see it. Don’t do this to me, Jongin”.

Jongin took a step back, then he turned around and ran through the living room and left. Jongin had looked incredibly angry. Luhan bit his lip, he shortly closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then he stepped into the living room.

“Sehun. I need to talk with you”, he said. Sehun flinched and looked up.

Luhan was taken aback for a second and forgot what he wanted to say. Sehun looked as if he was about to cry, his face was pale and his eyes – there it was again, the look in his eyes that Luhan couldn’t read, but he felt as if he should be able to.

“Are you… okay?”, he asked, although he knew that he wasn’t. He had just witnessed it and he felt so incredibly stupid for asking that question.

“Let’s sit down”, he murmured.

They sat onto the large sofa and remained silent. Sehun pulled up his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Luhan chewed on his lips, trying to order his words, he had worked on the whole afternoon over, now everything was gone.

“I’m sorry, Luhan. It was really rude of me to approach you over and over again, although you said you didn’t like it”, Sehun finally said.

“The thing is- What?”, Luhan started and looked at Sehun surprised.

“I’m sorry, if you want me to leave that’s okay. You just have to say it, I understand that”, Sehun continued.

“No, I – That’s not it, Sehun. I mean… it was a bit… but, I don’t want you to leave”, Luhan stuttered. Sehun’s words had confused him completely and once again he had forgotten what to say.

Sehun turned his head towards him. “You don’t want me to leave?”, he asked astonished.

Luhan shook his head, he didn’t know how to start again, especially not when Sehun let go off his long legs and leaned over.

“Sehun, you’re getting too close again”, Luhan murmured. “Yeah, sorry”, Sehun breathed.

“What do you want from me?”, Luhan asked when Sehun didn’t pull back. Sehun looked distracted, lost in his thoughts.

“From you?”, Sehun finally snapped back to reality.

His eyes rested on Luhan’s lips. “You’re really asking me what I want from you?”

Luhan’s heartbeat rate went up so quickly that he was scared he might have a heart attack. He could barely breathe when Sehun leaned closer, he had no idea why he even had let him get so close. But it was as if he had been paralyzed.

“Don’t”, he breathed out just in time.

Sehun stopped in his movement, but he still hovered inches away from Luhan’s face. “Why did you apologize, when you’re going to do it again… and again?”, Luhan murmured.

“I can’t help it”, Sehun said quietly.

“Why?”, Luhan asked and wished Sehun would just sit back.

“Complicated”, Sehun muttered and Luhan shivered as he remembered Jongin using the same words in the basement. That reminded him of his actual reason to talk to Sehun.

He grabbed Sehun’s shoulders and shoved him back.

“Listen, Sehun. This is serious… I wanted to talk to you about someone else”, he said. Sehun didn’t say a word, but waited for him to continue.

He looked shortly into Sehun’s eyes, they were lighter than Jongin’s… Luhan knew that it wasn’t the best evidence he had, but it had been stuck on his mind since he had stared into Jongin’s eyes in the dimly lit basement.

His eyes had been different; the restless chocolate brown eyes, when he had met Jongin for the first time and then the calm, glazed over eyes with the pinpoint pupils in the dimly lit basement.

“Jongin…”, he started and Sehun immediately tensed up.

And Luhan knew that he was right before he asked his question.

“What the hell is he taking?”

Sehun didn’t look at him, his hands were trembling and although he was biting on his lips, Luhan saw how he tried in vain to calm his breath.

“He takes drugs, doesn’t he? Sehun… what the hell is he taking?”, Luhan pressed.

But Sehun didn’t reply and Luhan didn’t know what to do. He didn’t dare to press on because Sehun looked as if someone was torturing him. His whole body was shaking as he tried silently to gain back control over his body.

“Sehun…”, Luhan started awkwardly and reached out his hand. He hesitated but placed it onto Sehun’s tensed shoulder.

“Did he… do something to you?”, he finally asked and then Sehun started to cry.

Sehun cried for almost an hour and Luhan was glad that none of the others accidently run into them. Sehun was still sobbing and had a horrible hiccup so it was hard to understand what he was trying to say. Luhan handed him a tissue and his back.

“What he did to me? H-He destroyed my ing life”, Sehun finally managed to say. His voice was hoarse and shaking.

“I… I did everything for him. E-Everything!”, he called and wiped his eyes.

“He promised… he promised to stop, but he didn’t… it’s his third relapse”, Sehun cried and blew his nose.

“Did you also-?”, Luhan started, but Sehun vehemently shook his head. “I would… never… touch this stuff. I’ve seen it”, he added.

He looked at Luhan with his red swollen eyes. “I’ve s-seen… what it does to people. Jongin… was a nice person…”.

His breath was finally calming and his hiccup stopped. “Nice and caring… and gentle, kind-hearted, even if others thought he looked cold. He… he wasn’t”, Sehun said and took another tissue from Luhan and wiped his face.

“We were best friends and I loved him from the start on, always…”, Sehun murmured.

“Not anymore?”, Luhan asked carefully. Sehun stared at the wet tissue in his hand.

“It’s not that easy. You don’t simply stop loving someone, you know. It’s not like clothes that you can just take off one day and not wear anymore”, Sehun said.

Luhan had a thousand more questions, but he knew that Sehun wasn’t going to answer any more as he got up to wash his face. When he returned to the living room, he looked calm again, but his face was still puffy.

“I’m sorry that was really… embarrassing”, he said and looked away. Luhan got up.

“No, it wasn’t. You’re in an incredibly difficult situation, anyone would feel pressured and… worried. There is no reason to apologize. We should rather take care of Jongin now. If he had a relapse, that means he was in rehab. He already gets professional help?”, Luhan asked.

Sehun bit his lip and nodded. “I think… so”, he murmured.

Luhan sighed. Then the front door opened and loud voices carried into the living room.

“Go and look for Jongin, alright? Call me then”, Luhan quickly said and shoved Sehun towards the stairs.

Sehun looked surprised. The ‘why’ was painted all over his face, but instead he whispered: “Thank you, Luhan”.

He threw a quick glance towards where the voices were approaching and leaned down to Luhan.

Luhan flinched, but Sehun’s lips had barely his cheek and a second later he had already climbed the stairs.

“Luhan! Why didn’t you come back? Are you okay?”, Baekhyun called and patted his shoulder. Luhan was still staring up the stairs where Sehun had disappeared.

“Yeah…”, he murmured and quickly cleared his throat. “Of course”.

Minseok and Chanyeol went upstairs to take a shower, according to Baekhyun they had both met some girls they wanted to meet later again.

“Where is Zitao? He had gone with us to the beach today”, Luhan said and looked around.

“He slept most of the time at the beach”, Jongdae said and made his way to the kitchen.

“I think he went for another walk alone… I’m hungry, what’s for dinner?”, he added.

“Luhan?”

Luhan turned around. “Jongin’s gone”, Sehun whispered in Luhan’s ear.

“No idea, look into the fridge. We could make pizza or something”, Luhan called towards Jongdae.

He quickly looked around. Baekhyun and Yixing were sitting on the sofa in the living room, Junmyeon was talking with the same girl from the breakfast in the hallway. Jia and the other two girls – Minji and Sunyoung – followed Jongdae into the kitchen.

“Then let’s hurry and look for him”, Luhan whispered. Sehun shook his head. “He always runs away when things don’t go the way he wants it. He’s probably already back in Seoul”, he murmured.

Luhan opened his mouth. “Aren’t you worried?”, he asked and frowned.

Sehun took a deep breath. “He usually comes back after a day or so… and he’s nice and sweet and apologizes”, he said and looked away.

“That means…?”, Luhan asked. “I never asked and I won’t ask him where he gets his… stuff from and where he gets the money to buy them”, Sehun said quietly.

Luhan looked at him and a wave of sympathy rushed over him, but his words wouldn’t help anyone so he kept quiet.

“I’ll call him later to check if he’s okay”, Sehun then said. “That’ll be the best”, Luhan murmured. They both stood in front of the stairs, side-glancing at each other.

“Thank you for telling me”, Luhan said, which surprised Sehun again.

“Thank you for listening”, Sehun replied. Luhan felt how Sehun’s fingers his hand and his index and middle finger wrapped around Luhan’s.

He tensed up and wanted to pull his hand back, but he didn’t want to hurt Sehun, especially not after what had happened today. But Sehun had noticed himself how uncomfortable Luhan felt and pulled his fingers back.