I seize the day, I move, I’m only real, no magic – Can the Cool Be Loved – Chrisette Michele

            Dear Gege,

            We have begun to look for a song that we can all agree on to practice for the talent show. It is pretty hard since we all have varying music tastes. People want to do hip hop, other’s R&B, other’s rock, pop, ballad, anything under the sun. We’ll find a song hopefully soon.

            “I have heard that you all want to preform for the talent show,” Mr. Kim said. “I think that is a really good idea. Have you guys decided on a song yet?”

            “That’s the problem,” Kris said. “We all like different genres and can’t decide on what song would fit for us.”

            “Here Mr. Kim,” Jongin said. Jongin handed Mr. Kim a paper of people’s song suggestions. “We all wrote down a song that we really like and would want to perform. Maybe you can help us out.”

            “Let’s see,” Mr. Kim said looking at the list of songs. He sat down as we all grouped around him. “Some of you want hip-hop style, r&b, pop, ballad, you guys like every genre out there.”

            “That’s the problem,” Kyungsoo said. “We all have different tastes in music.”

            “How about this,” Mr. Kim said. “You do a compilation of songs, one that is r&b and ballad like, one pop dance song, and one hip-hop style one. So like a total of three songs.”

            “Not a bad idea,” Luhan said nodding his head. “The r&b and ballad lovers can choose a song to perform, the ones that like hip hop can come to an agreement on a song, and then the pop lovers can choose a song for all of us to sing and dance to.”

            “Exactly,” Mr. Kim said. “That sounds like you have more of a plan on what to do now. Why don’t you all discuss this for the rest of class.” Mr. Kim let us break into the three groups heading back to his desk to work.

            I was in the group that wanted to dance and sing to a pop song along with Tao, Minseok, and Luhan. Kris, Jongin, Chanyeol, and Sehun separated to discuss a hip-hop song. Jongdae, Baekhyun, and Kyungsoo were the ones that wanted the ballad, r&b song.

            “So what do you think is a song that will give each of us a good part to sing?” Minseok asked fiddling with his hands. “Obviously something super catchy.”

            “Definitely catchy,” Luhan said, nodding his head. “So a super popular song. Like Girls’ Generation or something.”

            “Or a Super Junior song,” I said. “They have some really popular songs.” Minseok, Luhan, and Tao nodded their heads in agreement. Super Junior was a hugely popular group.

            “Let’s make it something with a good message,” Tao said. We turned to look at him, since this was the first time Tao had ever put his input into anything except when he said he wanted to do a pop song.

            “Something with a message,” Minseok said. “Catchy but a good message.” He tapped his chin, thinking. We were all thinking of what song that was that had an inspirational message and was catchy.

            “I’ve got it,” I said finally breaking away from my thoughts. “Let’s go Girls’ Generation’s Genie. It has a good message and is very catchy.” I looked at the three of their faces. “What do you guys say?”

            “I’m down,” Luhan said nodding his head. “That song is inspirational and catchy. I like it.” He looked at Tao. “What do you think Tao, you were the one to suggest this idea anyway.”

            “Let’s do Genie,” Tao said nodding his head. “I like the idea of that.” He nodded, and for the first time in the month I had known him I thought I saw the smallest smile try to break onto his face, erasing his frown.

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            It was next week we began rehearsing the songs we were going to be performing. The talent show was now only a month away and we had to make sure everything was perfect. Besides, Kyungsoo wasn’t going to settle for nothing less then perfect. It was looking like this was going to be a lot of work, but I was excited to learn three dances, and learn my parts for each of the songs.

            The hip-hop group had decided that we should perform Bangtan Boys’ song, “N.O,” which was another inspirational song. It was also the song that was going to require the most dance practice since it was such a powerful song. Chanyeol, Jongin, and Kris would be rapping, Jongin and Sehun would be the main dancers. Kyungsoo, Luhan, and I would be doing the little singing part after the first rap verse.

            Then for the ballad, r&b group they had decided that they wanted to sing, Hyorin and Jooyoung’s “Erase.” It was definitely the y, smooth r&b song. Jongin and Tao would be the main dancers, while Kyungsoo, Baekhyun, and Jongdae would divide up the sing parts amongst themselves.

            For my group, we decided that all of us would be dancing. As for singing, Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, Luhan, Minseok, Tao, and myself would be in charge. Everyone else would just be the dancers, but for the finally, we would all sing the last chorus together. This looked like the makings for a super awesome talent show performance. Then came the practice part.

            “Kyungsoo you didn’t hit the right not,” Jongdae said. “It’s this one.” Jongdae demonstrated the note, Kyungsoo was supposed to sing. They had been going at it for a good while with Baekhyun playing the keyboard.

            “Kris your dancing isn’t in sync with ours,” Jongin said looking at Kris’ dancing. “Like this.” Jongin and Sehun demonstrated the dance for, “N.O.” as Chanyeol and Kris watched them.

Tao, Luhan, Minseok, and I were busying looking at the computer screen trying to learn the dance to, “Genie,” so we could teach the others. It was way harder then any of us had thought.

            “This is ing hard!” Minseok yelled. “Why the hell did we choose such a hard dance to learn?” Minseok threw his hands up in the air yelling some more.

            “Minseok calm down,” Luhan said quieting down the other male. “You’re being way to extra right now. We’re going to get the dance. Just wait.” I studied the computer screen watching the members dance to the song.

            “I got it!” I exclaimed. I replayed the part of the video, waiting for the chorus before dancing to it perfectly in sync with Girls’ Generation on the computer. Luhan, Tao, and Minseok looked at me in awe. “It’s not that hard, now that I get it.”

            “Teach us everything master!” Minseok yelled. “Please!” I proceeded to teach Luhan, Minseok, and Tao the dance moves to the chorus of the dance. Pretty soon by the time it was time for lunch all four of had the dance to Genie mastered. We were ready to teach the others the dance for the finale.

            After lunch Mr. Kim played the music for Genie as Luhan, Minseok, Tao, and I demonstrated the parts of the dance that we’d be performing. Everyone clapped once we hit the ending pose.

            “You guys look so good already,” Chanyeol said clapping his hands the loudest. “I can’t wait to learn this dance! It’s going to be.. be.. be..” He clutched his face, rocking back and forth.

            “C-chanyeol,” Baekhyun says. Baekhyun wrapped his hands around Chanyeol talking to Chanyeol in a calming voice, calming him down. “It’s okay Chanyeol.” Chanyeol nodded his head as he turned back to normal. Baekhyun smiled weakly at all of us. “S-sorry guys, you can continue.”

            “Well we were just going to show you the dance,” Luhan explained. “We still need to fine tune it, and besides we can’t teach it until you two have your parts down.” I nodded. “And when we do teach it, Yixing will be the teacher.”

            “Do you like dancing?” Jongin asked, looking at me. “You didn’t seem like the type to be much a dancer to be honest.”

            “Please,” Minseok said, slinging an arm around my shoulders, much to Jongdae’s dislike. “He’s the reason the three of us know the dance. We were struggling, and he suddenly got it and boom! We learned the dance!”

            “Really?” Sehun asked. “W-wow Yi-xing t-that is r-really im-press-ive.” Sehun smiled at me. I looked down feeling all their eyes on me.

            “It was nothing really,” I said. “The dance isn’t so hard once you get it.” Once that was done, Mr. Kim went on to teach the rest of the lessons for the day before school was over.

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            On Saturday my mom dropped me off at Jongdae’s house for the sleepover. I was the last one to arrive as everyone else was already in the living room.

            “Finally!” Jongin exclaimed. “Jongdae made it very clear, we were to have no fun whatsoever until you came! Now we can get the party started!” Jongin turned to look at Kyungsoo, who shook his head, clearly not amused by Jongin’s energy today.  

            “So what do you guys want to do first?” Jongdae asked. “Watch a scary movie, or eat?” Jongdae looked at us holding a stack of DVD’s for us to choose from.

            “Let’s eat and watch the scary movie,” Chanyeol said. “There is no reason why we can’t do both.” Jongdae led us to the kitchen table were the food was waiting for us cooked by Jongdae’s mother.

            I filled my plate with all the Korean food I wanted. I had tons of kimchi, bulgogi, gimbap, japchae, various side dishes, and other food. My mom was persistent on only cooking Chinese food at home. This Korean food was a treat for me.

            “Damn Yixing,” Minseok said looking at my plate as we sat down in the living room while Jongdae got the movie ready. “Are you planning on hibernating after this?”

            “It’s just I only eat Chinese food at home,” I explained. “My mom doesn’t like and doesn’t know how to cook Korean food. I only have lived in Korea for about six years.” Jongdae began the movie and turned all the lights off, leaving us to eat in the darknes while watching the movie.

            Quickly our plates were emptied and we were all sprawled out around or on the couches that were in Jongdae’s living room. I was seated on the corner of one of the couches, as Kyungsoo and Jongin curled up together on the floor, resting their backs on the couch. Baekhyun and Chanyeol were seated next to each other holding each other’s hands. Minseok and Jongdae sat next to each other. It was a little awkward between them, but still they had each other.

            I sighed quietly to myself, as I realized if they all got together and this happened again, I again would feel like the seventh wheel. I didn’t have anyone to cuddle with like Kyungsoo and Jongin. I was close to Jongdae, but right off the bat I knew it was friendship and nothing more then that. I rested my chin against the arm of the couch, watching the movie. When everyone else jumped and screamed, I stared blankly at the screen.

            To me horror movies were nothing to get so worked up about. It was purely fictional and everything that happened in the movie wasn’t real. Nothing like that could scare me. There was only one thing that could scare me. And I witnessed that one thing six years ago.

            Remember what you said always said to me when I was a kid? I still remember those words, like they are engraved into my memory. “Yixing, if the world is scary which it is, face it head on. Don’t cower in the corners praying for safety. Create your own safety. Don’t make the same mistakes I did.” I’m just afraid it’s too late for me. Why am I thinking of that right now? I don’t know, and I might never know..

            ~ Yixing