A.N. I know everybodies really excited for Jiwon so I'm happy to let you know that he'll finally be making an appearence in the next chapter. Thanks for waiting everybody and enjoy!

The next morning both he and Jinhwan struggle out of bed well after the sun has risen. He finally wakes to the smell of black coffee and stumbles his way into the kitchen. Jinhwan’s sitting at the table with a mug and an open bottle of advil on the table in front of him. Hanbin grabs a mug from the cupboard and pours himself a cup as well, forgoing the sugar for once. He sits down opposite Jinhwan pulls his hood down low before taking a gulp of his drink. Jinhwan finally speaks,

“I feel like such an old man right now. I’m only 26, why do I feel like I’m dying”

Hanbin smirks into his mug,

“Maybe it’s because you’re getting old you grandpa.”

Jinhwan gives him a glare and lightly chucks the bottle across the table, it hits Hanbin on the shoulder and bounces down landing in his lap. Mockingly he grabs his shoulder and collapses forward groaning dramatically. Jinhwan just shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

“I swear it’s like living with a four year old…”

A hot shower and some oatmeal later and Hanbin is feeling more like a real person. Toweling his hair off he walks into the living room and falls onto the couch next to Jinhwan, who’s typing something on his computer. He looks up when the couch squeaks.

“Hey, so Yunhyeong and I were planning on having dinner tonight. I don’t know if you’d want to come but you’re welcome too.”

And Jinhwan invited him, because Jinhwan would never even think not to, that’s just the kind of person he is but Hanbin can hear the strain in his voice and knows that he doesn’t really want him to say yes. Not that he’d want to intrude on their night anyways.

“Thanks for the invite but I’m good, you go and have fun.”

Jinhwan looks at him, mouth a little tight and lines creasing his forehead

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright here all alone?”

Hanbin sighs, a little exasperated and throws his towel across the coffee table to his cot bed.

“Yes, I’ll be fine. I am actually an adult Jinwhan believe it or not. I can survive one night on my own.”

Jinhwan gives him a look

“I know that Hanbin, I just worry. You know I do.”

And Hanbin does know, Jinhwan worries about everybody. Sometimes he thinks Jinhwans taken it upon himself to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, even though nobody ever asked him too. That’s part of why he loves his friend.

“I know you do. But seriously I’m good. Take your night out with Yunhyeong, you deserve it.”

Later after Jinhwan leaves boredom does set in so he texts Junhoe and invites him over for video games and pizza. If there’s one thing he misses most about the states it’s the pizza, thick and doughy and greasy it’s nothing like the pizza here in Korea. He tells Junhoe as much as he throws a half eaten piece back into the box with a look of distaste. Junhoe snorts,

“The US has spoiled you after all, I always knew it would. Come back from New York and suddenly you’re too good for us and our pizza!”

Hanbin laughs and gives him a shove. For a while they play, silence punctuated only by the occasional curse or shout of triumph. After a couple games though Junhoe speaks, and his words are like a bucket of cold water.

“I think you should go see Jiwon.”

It take Hanbin surprise, Junhoe has never done well with relationships or relationship advice and of all his friends Junhoe was the last person he expected to hear this from. He sets down his controller and turns to Junhoe

“Did Jinhwan put you up too this? He should now by now not to-“

Junhoe cuts him of with the shake of his head, setting his down his own controller on the coffee table.

“No, he didn’t put me up to anything. I just agree with him about this one.”

Hanbin sighs and runs a hand through his hair, tired of having this conversation over and over again.

“I’ll tell you what I tell him then. I’m not going to. I appreciate the concern but this is between me and Jiwon okay.”

And now Junhoe’s eyebrows pull together and his voice when he replies is tight and a little angry.

“Bull. You’re blind if you think this is just about you Hanbin. I’m Jiwon’s friend too okay, and I was around to watch him spiral into the hole he’s in now. This is about all of us, don’t forget that. We all care about you, but we care about him too.”

And for a moment Junhoe’s comment shuts him down.  It’s true, in a way he’d been so wrapped up in his own drama and pain and hurt that he’d forgotten that he wasn’t the only one who cared about Jiwon. Forgotten he wasn’t alone.
 

“Okay you’re right. And I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say you aren’t his friend. But that aside, what can I do? What would me going to see him do? I’d probably just make things worse…”

“Come on Hanbin. Like it or not you two were a big part of each others live, and you can’t pretend that’s not true. We’ve all tried to help him but he won’t let us, maybe that’s because he’s waiting for you. I think you owe it to him to try”

Hanbin shakes his head, fingers playing with the hem of his t shirt.

“I don’t know Junhoe. I wouldn’t even know what to say to him ‘hey sorry I left you a year ago without even saying goodbye, but I’m back so stop doing drugs’ I don’t think that’d go over very well. Anyways, he probably hates me now.”

Junhoe looks at him and his eyes are sad and soft, and Junhoe never gets that look in his eyes. Hanbin fidgets and looks away, suddenly uncomfortable. When Junhoe finally replies his voice is soft.

“You don’t really believe that do you?”

And Hanbin doesn’t answer, because when he really thinks about it he’s not sure of his answer.

When it starts to push eleven o’clock Junhoe heads out, saying Sooyoung doesn’t like it when he gets home late. Hanbin jokingly comments that she has him thoroughly whipped, and Junhoe just smiles and shrugs and tells him

“There are worse things to have to come home early for.”

Hanbin nods in agreement, thinking about waiting for Jiwon to come home, never quite sure if he would. He sees Junhoe off with a hug and a promise to do this again soon and then the door swings shut and he is alone. For a while he finds things to keep him busy, cleans up the remnants of the pizza and browses the internet for a bit. He ends up watching TV and waiting for Jinhwan to come home, when he glances at the clock and sees that it’s twenty past one he realizes he’s not coming back tonight. And as he gets ready for bed, washes his face and brushes his teeth he thinks about how similar this feels to all these nights he stayed waiting for Jiwon. Waiting and wondering and watching the minutes tick by on the clock. It’s a feeling he doesn’t like to remember.

The next morning Hanbin wakes to the smell of coffee and bacon. Getting up he wanders into the kitchen, yawing sleepily. Jinhwan’s standing at the stove, spatula in his hand and bacon sizzling in the pan in front of him. Without turning he greets Hanbin

“Morning sleepy head. There’s fresh coffee for you, and breakfast is just about done.”

Hanbin walks over to the cabinet, pulling out a mug and helps himself to the coffee. Taking a sip, he hops up onto the counter beside Jinhwan who shoots him an exasperated look.

“So how was dinner?”

Jinhwan focuses on his bacon but he cant help the smile that slips onto his face, soft and small and tender.

“It was good.”

Hanbin smirks and raises an eyebrow, smiling at Jinhwan over the rim of his coffee cup.

“Oh, just good? I noticed you didn’t come home last night.”

Jinhwan doesn’t look at him, but the smile grows and spreads.

“If you want breakfast I suggest you get your off my counter and into a chair.”

Hanbin laughs and slides down, grabbing a plate and ambling over to the kitchen table. Jinhwan walks over with the bacon and a big plate of scrambled eggs, setting both on the table before sitting himself. Hanbin helps himself to the food, and digs in. Jinhwan just watches him, sipping on his coffee.

“So I was talking to Yunhyeong last night, he said he could probably get you a job at the place he works at.”

Hanbin stops mid bite and looks up

“Seriously? I would really appreciate that. Gotta start getting some money in the bank before or I run out of paint or something.”

Jinhwan smiles and nods.

“Yeah, I’ll give you his number. You can text him about it if you’re interested.”

Hanbin nods his head.

“You know, I’m really starting to like your boyfriend.”

It’s a lazy afternoon, Jinhwan has a day off and they’re both lying curled up in his living room with cups of tea. Jinhwan’s reading a book, head tilted in concentration, and the sun filtering through the living room curtains gilds his hair a thousand shades of gold. It’s been a while since Hanbin has done a portrait so he asks Jinhwan if it’s alright if Hanbin sketches him while he reads. Jinhwan distractedly nods his consent and turns the page and Hanbin pulls out his sketchbook and pencils. He’s a little rusty, pencil isn’t his favorite medium and it’s been a while but after a few false starts he settles into an easy rhythm, gets lost in the sound of pencil scratching on paper. When he finishes he looks at his sketch and his stomach twists. It’s good, very good, that’s not the problem. The problem is that it’s Jiwon’s face he’s staring at, not Jinhwan’s.

Jinhwan looks up from his book, “Oh, are you finished? Can I see?” Hanbin shrugs awkwardly, “I don’t think it’s worth looking at, it’s not great” The lie sounds flat, even to him.  Jinhwan huffs

“Come on, if you’re going to draw me you have to let me see the finished product!” Standing smoothly he deftly grabs the sketchbook out of Hanbin’s hands before he can protest. Hanbin watches as Jinhwan’s eyebrows raise, and then fall. When he looks at Hanbin there’s pity in his eyes. “You know Hanbin, maybe you should try and talk to him again.”

Hanbin stands, a little angry and snatches the notebook back.

“Screw him. I’m not going to try again with him, okay. It’s over.”

“Even so, you obviously need some kind of closure. Or you’re never going to be able to let him go.” Jinhwan says, gesturing to the sketch.

Hanbin just shakes his head

“This doesn’t mean anything, I just let my mind wander.” And then turns to walk away, clutching the sketchbook in his hands.

“You let your mind wander and he’s the first thing you find. Maybe that means something.”

Hanbin pretends not to hear because Jinhwan’s words ring with truth and it’s not a truth he wants to listen to.

After that he tries again and again, he draws himself, Jinhwan, pulls up pictures of strangers and old friends alike but in every drawing he finds Jiwon. The shape of his lips, the line of his nose, the sharp curves of his cheek, he can’t escape Jiwon. Eventually he throws the sketchbook across the room and tries to sleep, but even then he sees Jiwon’s eyes, dark and brooding hanging in his dreams.

It’s funny how everything always comes back to Jiwon.