Hey, guess who's back after literally months! If anybody is still reading this I'm really sorry for the long hiatus. I had a lot of personal stuff going on and this kind of took and backseat. I'm back though, and ready to finish this story up! This will be the second to last chapter and I hope to have the last one up next weekend. So sorry again, and enjoy!

Hanbin’s last week in Korea is a week of goodbyes.

He has his final day of work, which is bittersweet. At the end of the shift they close the café early, Taehyun flicks off the lights and Suenghoon emerges from the back with a cake, beautifully decorated,  Good Luck Hanbin! Written in delicate looping letters on the top. Hanbin smiles, and lets them smear icing on his face even though it isn’t his birthday. 

Later, as he’s getting ready to leave and everyone else is in the kitchen cleaning up Yunhyeong catches him alone. 

“Hey.”

He says, walking up to where Hanbin’s searching through his backpack for his headphones. Hanbin looks at him a little confused. Yunhyeong’s nice and all, but they’ve never really had any interaction that didn’t include Jinhwan before. 

“Hey.”

He replies. Yunhyeong shifts a little awkwardly, one hand running through his hair. 

“I don’t know if Jinhwan ever mentioned it, but I like to do photography in my spare time. I hope this doesn’t come off as really weird…”  He sighs, reaching into his pocket and pulls out an envelope, handing it over to Hanbin. “I promise I’m not a stalker or a weirdo or anything.”

Hanbin takes the envelope, wondering what could possibly be in it that would make Yunhyeong say that. Opening the top flap he reaches inside and pulls out a thin stack of glossy photographs. Setting the envelope aside on the table he starts to look through them. They’re all of him and Jiwon. Yunhyeong’s still talking, hands gesticulating nervously in front of him

“Whenever I go to parties or hang out with friends I just like to snap pictures of people. Mostly just on my phone or whatever, and I take them of everyone, not just you guys or anything.”

Hanbin’s half listening to him, nodding along, but most of his focus is on the photos in his hands. There’s a few of him or Jiwon alone, but mostly it’s of them together. Sometimes they’re talking, sometimes they’re laughing, sometimes they’re just standing together, almost close enough to touch. There’s something personal to the pictures, something intimate and candid in the moments they capture.

“They’re beautiful.”

He says quietly, interrupting Yunhyeong who’s still rambling away. He pauses, surprised. 

“Oh.  Um, thank you.” His tone seems a little nonplussed, like he wasn’t expecting that reaction. “I just thought, with you leaving and everything, you might like to have them.”

Hanbin nods, slipping the photos back into the envelope. 

“That’s… that’s really kind of you. It means a lot.”

Yunhyeong shrugs, face creasing into a wide open smile, and in that moment Hanbin can see why Jinhwan likes him so much.  

“It’s the least I could do. Any friend of Jinhwan is a friend of mine, you know. And he really cares about you, I can tell.”

“Yeah. I care about him too.”

Hanbin says softly.  At that moment Taehyun pokes his head out of the kitchen. 

“Hey! Yunhyeong! Get in here and help. Unlike Hanbin you still work here you know.”

Yunhyeong rolls his eyes, 

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Be there in a second.”

Taehyun’s head disappears, door swinging shut behind him and Yunhyeong turns back to Hanbin.

“Well, duty calls.” He says, hooking a thumb back towards the kitchen.  “Anyways, I really hope everything works out for you man, with Germany and your art and all that.”

Hanbin smiles.

“Yeah, so do I.”

With a last wave Yunhyeong heads for the kitchen door. Hanbin watches him go, and then calls out to him. 

“ Yunhyeong, hold on.” 

Yunhyeong turns back, questioning look on his face. 

“I just wanted to say that I’ve never see Jinhwan talk about anyone the way he talks about you. I really think he loves you, the kind of love that sticks.” 

There’s a moment where Hanbin words process and then Yunhyeong smiles, eye’s creasing into little half circles and cheeks stretching. He laughs a little, one hand reaching up to run through his hair. 

“I hope you’re right,” he says, still grinning a little dopily. “Because I think I really love him too.”

Before Hanbin can reply Taehyun’s muffled voice echoes from the kitchen, shouting Yunhyeong’s name. Yunhyeong winces, 

“Guess I should get back there huh.”

Hanbin grins,  

“Yeah you probably should. Those two need some adult supervision. ” And then, as Yunhyeong’s walking away he calls out one last time, “And hey, Yunhyeong, good luck.”

Yunhyeong grins back at him, flashing him a thumbs up. 

“Yeah, good luck to you too.”

And then he’s gone, and Hanbin’s left standing with an envelope full of pictures and a heart that doesn’t ache quite as much as it did a few minutes ago. 

On the bus on his way home Hanbin pulls the pictures out again and  flips through them. One in particular catches his eye and he pauses, staring at it. It’s of the both of them, they’re sitting next to each other at what looks like Woodstock. Hanbin’s looking to the left, out of the frame, and laughing at something. Jiwon’s looking left too, but he’s staring directly at Hanbin, and there’s a look of tenderness on his face that Hanbin’s never seen before. He’s looking at Hanbin like people look at the moon and stars and sunsets, looking at him like he’s something beautiful and magnificent and wonderful.

He thinks back to that photo he left behind a year ago, and how it had always felt like Jiwon was not quite there, not all the way. Thinks it’s funny, because now Hanbin’s the one looking to the future and Jiwon’s the one who’s trying to hold on to the present.  

Two days before he leaves Jinhwan throws a little going away party for him at Woodstock. Everyone’s there, Junhoe and Suhyun, Donghyuk, Yunhyeong, even Hayi shows up a little late with Chanwoo. It’s nice and Hanbin appreciates the effort, even has fun but the night is shaded with a more somber mood. He smiles and laughs in all the right places but he’s half on autopilot. He thinks Jiwon can tell, because he keeps throwing little worried glances in Hanbin’s direction but Hanbin doesn’t give him the chance to say anything.  

Finally Jiwon gets him alone, and Hanbin can tell he’s going to ask if he’s alright and he doesn’t have the energy to lie to him. Instead, before Jiwon can get the question out, he calls out over his head to their friends. 

“Hey, anybody want another drink?”

There’s a chorus of affirmatives and with a reassuring grin Hanbin heads to the bar to order their next round, feeling Jiwon’s eyes on his back all the way. Mino glances up at him as he makes their drinks, smile still as flirtatious as ever.  

“So,” he asks as he pours out a shot of vodka. “What are you celebrating tonight?”

Hanbin smiles wryly. 

“It’s my farewell party actually. I’m heading to Germany for a job.”

Mino raises an eyebrow. 

“So soon? I feel like you just got back.”

Hanbin sighs, turning to look at his friends laughing and chatting back at their table. 

“Yeah. I feel like that too.”

Jiwon’s talking to Junhoe, and he must make a joke because he throws his head back and laughs. Hanbin watches him for a second, smiling a little, but it’s a smile tinged with bitterness. Mino follows his gaze. 

“You know, in my experience, the leaving? It get’s easier every time.” 

He says, pushing forward the drinks. Hanbin takes them and thinks that he wishes that were true. 

The night gets later and later, people trickling out of the bar till they’re nearly the only ones left. There’s a few people still here, drunk or lonely or both but they keep to the corners. Mino slips out from behind the bar, moving forward to the little stage and starting to dismantle the karaoke equipment that they bring out every Friday night but Jiwon jumps up before he can, walking over to him and whispering something quietly in his ear before passing something small to him Hanbin can’t make out. Mino nods, and stands, walking over to the laptop controlling the music and sticks a flash drive into it. After a few minutes of clicking he gives Jiwon a thumbs up and a soft, smooth beat starts to echo through bar. 

Jiwon moves to pick up the mic and winks at Hanbin with that crooked smile on his lips. Hanbin just watches him, confused. He glances around to his friends but they look just as lost as he does, staring at Jiwon in confusion. 

“This is a goodbye present for my most important person.” Jiwon says, voice soft. “I hope you can take it with you wherever you go.”

And with that he takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and starts honest to god singing. Hanbin’s never heard him sing before, not even once, and it’s beautiful. Soft and sweet and a little raspy and right now it’s thick with emotion. 

You never know how I feel baby
When you kissed me, you driving me crazy
Oh you make my life complete 
Oh yes you do

When I’m by your side, the world plays a song for me sometimes
Even if I hurt you, don’t ever let go of my hand
Just let ‘em keep on realize that 

That you’re in love, that you’re in love
Baby I’m in love
It’s like a love that will never come and find me ever again
I’m in love yes I’m in love with you

I sometimes become poison to you
I might make you have a hard time baby
But when time passes and I look back 
I hope you’re smiling my baby

So come and take my hand
I’ll hold it when you’re about to fall
I will walk with you when nobody is there
I won’t let go of your hand ‘cause I’m in love with you

I know what I’m lacking in and I repeat my mistakes at you
But I just want to let you know that I’m just young and I’m a fool
I know I couldn’t give you satisfaction and that this is goodbye
But take a little time for your only one 
You know baby I’m in love with you

Just come on and share your love
It’s like a love that will never come and find me ever again 
I’m in love yes I’m in love with you

Jiwon finishes, the last words echoing into the microphone as the music slowly fades out and he’s looking at Hanbin with such honesty and love in his eyes and it hurts. Hanbin stands abruptly, his chair clattering loudly behind him. Everybody’s looking up at him now, concern and confusion on their faces and Jiwon’s still looking at him and it’s like staring into the sun for too long. Before Hanbin really realizes what he’s doing his feet are leading him to the door, not running but not quite walking either. Jiwon calls out from behind him but Hanbin ignores it. 

Once he’s out of the bar he walks blindly to the alley beside it, letting himself sink to the ground, back against the smooth concrete of the wall. The cool night air feels good against his skin after the muggy heat of the bar and he takes a few deep shaky breaths, trying to get himself under control. It kind of works. 

A second later he hears footsteps approaching and knows just from the sound who they belong too, but he doesn’t look up, eyes focused on a crack in the pavement between his feet. There’s the sound of rustling fabric as someone kneels in front of him, the familiar scent of cologne, and then there’s long slender fingers on his chin tilting his face up. Jiwon’s looks at him, eyebrows pulled tight in concern and the edges of his lips tugging downwards. Hanbin has to resist the urge to reach out and smooth away the lines. 

“Hey,” Jiwon says gently, “What’s the matter?”

Hanbin bites at the inside of his lip, eye’s flicking away from Jiwon’s.

“It’s nothing.” 

Jiwon hesitates for a moment, and then softly asks, 

“Was it the song? Did you not like it? I was worried it might be too much and embarrassing and-”

Hanbin shakes his head violently, interrupting Jiwon. 

“No! No it wasn’t the song. The song was so ing beautiful, Jiwon, I mean it. It’s just…”

He swallows hard, clenching his fists by his side. There’s the familiar stinging sensation at the back of his eyes again, but he refuses to cry. He’s so tired of crying. Instead he laughs, a little wet and ragged. 

“It’s just you keep making it so hard to leave, you .” 

There’s a pause as Jiwon processes the words and then he laughs too, a short little stumbling thing that’s not quite happy but it might be close enough. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was inconveniencing you with my heartfelt declaration of love.” 

He says jokingly, taking a seat next to Hanbin, close enough that their shoulders touch. Hanbin lets out a breathy little huff that could have been a laugh if his heart wasn’t breaking. 

“It’s funny isn’t it, how good we are at hurting each other even when we don’t mean too.”

Jiwon lets his head fall back against the alley wall, staring up to where the stars are almost visible through the light pollution and wispy summer clouds. 

“Yeah. But maybe that’s how you know it’s real, y’know? That we can hurt each other this much, and still somehow manage to find our way back from it?”

Hanbin nods. 

“Yeah. Or maybe we’re just crazy.”

Jiwon smiles, 

“Whose to say it isn’t a little bit of both.”

Hanbin thinks that’s probably true. Their love’s a little crazy, a little ed up, a little rough at the edges but it’s theirs and no one else’s and sometimes Hanbin thinks it’s the realest thing he’s ever known. It’s like scraped elbows and bloody lips and bruised knees that you can’t stop poking because even though it hurts there’s something sweet to the pain. It’s the ache that comes just before the healing, that taste of whiskey at the back of your throat. It’s the slow climb and the long drop all at once. So maybe they’re both a bit insane, and maybe this was never supposed to work in the long run, and maybe they drew more blood then kisses, but Hanbin wouldn’t have it any other way. And if it was a mistake, then it’s the best one he’s ever made.

After a few minutes Jiwon stands, reaching a hand down to Hanbin. 

“Come on,” he says, “We should get back before they start to think we’re just banging in the alley or something.”

Hanbin snorts, but lets Jiwon pull him to his feet. And he thinks, as he follows Jiwon back to the bar, that maybe this is why they work. Because even though they hurt each other like nobody else can, they fix each other too, and at the end of the day that’s what matters the most. 

A.N. In Love is my favorite song off of Bobby's album, and I couldn't help but think of this story when I heard it. There's something just so heartfelt and heartbreaking about it, and I think it really suits them.