One night he and Jiwon are watching a movie at Jiwons’ place (Hanbin still doesn’t have a TV). All the lights are off and Hanbin is curled into Jiwon’s side, a blanket pulled over their laps. It’s one of Jiwon’s favorite films and he’d been excited to show it to Hanbin but he’s not really paying attention, there’s something else on his mind. Eventually he can’t do it anymore and reaching over he grabs the remote and hits pause. Jiwon looks down at Hanbin, quizzical expression on his face.

“What’s the matter?”

Hanbin bites his lip, knowing Jiwon isn’t going to like what he’s about to say.

“Jiwon, you can’t keep hiding like this.”

Jiwon’s face tightens a little and he looks away.

“I’m not hiding from anything.”

Hanbin and pushes himself up, sensing this isn’t going to be easy. He loves Jiwon but some things with him are like pulling teeth.

“You know what I’m talking about."

When Jiwon still won’t look at him Hanbin tries again, tone gentler.

“They all miss you, you know.”

For a little while silence settles heavy over the room, Hanbin watching the back of Jiwon’s head with concerned eyes. When he finally speaks he doesn’t turn his head and Hanbin has to lean in to hear what he’s saying.

“I…I don’t think if I can face them.”

And it’s a little heartbreaking to hear him say it. Hanbin reaches out a hand, places it on Jiwon’s shoulder.

“I know it feels hard, but it’s something you need to do.”

Jiwon just shakes his head, and the dim light of the TV bounces off of the shifting highlights in his hair.

“I was terrible to them Hanbin. I don’t know if deserve their forgiveness.”

“They’re your friends, Jiwon. And you owe it to them not to keep hiding like this. They might not forgive you right away, but they will forgive you. I mean, wouldn’t you forgive them?"

Jiwon finally looks over at him and nods a little, Hanbin smiles.

“There you go. It won’t be as bad as you think it’s going to be.”

Reaching out he laces his fingers with Jiwon’s, gives his hand a little squeeze.

“I’ll be with you, you don’t have to do it alone.”

Jiwon pulls their interlaced fingers up to his lips, brushes a soft kiss against Hanbin’s knuckles. Whispers quietly,

“Thank you, Hanbin. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Hanbin laughs and lightly shoves Jiwon over, but the truth is the both know what Jiwon would do without Hanbin, and it’s not pretty. As they settle back into the couch and Jiwon hits play on the movie Hanbin thinks that, truth be told, he’s not sure what he’d do without Jiwon anymore. The thought should scare him, but it doesn’t.

He calls Jinhwan later, when he’s back in his own apartment (although it’s starting to feel less like home every day).

“I talked to him about finally seeing everybody again. I think he’s willing to do it, now.”

There’s a long silence, nothing to be heard but the gentle crackle of Jinhwan’s breath. Finally he speaks and his tone is hesitant.

“Are you… are you sure? Because we’ve tried before, and it didn’t…. It didn’t end well. I don’t want to push him before he’s ready.”

“I’m sure. I promise Jinhwan, it’ll be different this time.”

Different because now Jiwon has Hanbin and he didn’t before and that will make all the difference he needs.

Hanbin spends a long time wondering how to get everybody in a room together but in the end it happens almost accidentally. He and Jiwon are out for dinner when he gets a text from Donghyuk. Their favorite band from their college days is playing a set at a club in Daehokro and he’s trying to get everybody together to go.

Jiwon, who’s been surreptitiously peeping at his phone screen pulls back awkwardly.

“I can meet up with some other friends if you want to…”

He trails off but Hanbin shakes his head, and waves off the suggestion.

“No, no you don’t have to leave you should come with me.”

Jiwon bites his lip and rubs at the back of his neck uncomfortably, avoiding Hanbin’s eyes.

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea, I don’t want to make them feel like they’re being ambushed.”

Reaching out across the table Hanbin puts his hand on Jiwon’s.

“They won’t feel like you’re ambushing them. Anyways, you promised me Jiwon, now’s as good a time as ever. I’ll even ask if it’s cool with them okay?”

Jiwon nods, appeased, be he still looks nervous. Hanbin shoots Donghyuk a quick text asking if it’s alright if he brings Jiwon and he replies that it’s okay. Hanbin smiles at Jiwon,

“See? I told you it’ll be fine.”

Jiwon seems unconvinced but he reluctantly agrees and they pay their bill and walk to the subway. The closer they get to the club the band is playing at the more anxious and fidgety he gets. Hanbin watches him, half concerned half amused.

“What are you so scared for? What’s the worst that could happen?”

Jiwon shoots him a look,

“A lot. They could hate me forever, or worse they could ignore me. Or somebody could punch me.’’

It’s Hanbin’s turn to give Jiwon a look.

“I really doubt someone’s going to punch you, Jiwon. I swear you didn’t look this nervous when you saw me for the first time again!”

Jiwon holds up three fingers, folding them down as he lists his reasons.

“Okay, one, you surprised me. Two, I was too angry in the moment to be nervous. Three, you’d been gone for a year and didn’t have to deal with me being… unpleasant.”

Finally Hanbin gets fed up with Jiwon’s nervous tapping and reaching over he takes Jiwon’s face in both of his hands, stares into his eyes.

“Look at me, Jiwon. It’s going to be fine I promise. I’m here, we’re going to see them and it might be a little awkward and uncomfortable at first but it’ll be fine. You have to do this sooner or later.”

Jiwon sighs and takes a deep breath, nodding.

“I know, I know, you’re right…I’m just… I’m just nervous.”

Hanbin smiles gently, slips his hand into Jiwon’s,

“I know you are. And that’s alright.”

They’re the last to arrive, everybody else is already standing outside the club stamping their feet in the cold. Hanbin waves when he sees them and after he nudges Jiwon he gives a half hearted little wave too.

Everybody knows he and Jiwon are back together by now, and they all seemed happy about it but it’s the first time they’ve seen them together and it’s more then a little uncomfortable. He can feel Jiwon, rigid and awkward, by his side and everybody else looks just as tense. There’s something heavy in the air, something Hanbin can feel the weight of and despite his assurances he’s starting to wonder if maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

Jinhwan’s the first to break the ice, stepping forward with a cautious smile he reaches out and pulls Jiwon into a hug. At first Jiwon is stiff and unmoving but after a few seconds he relaxes into it and returns the embrace. After that the tension lightens a little bit, some invisible barrier broken, and Donghyuk and Chanwoo step forward to greet him. Junhoe hangs in the back, arms crossed and an unreadable look on his face. Finally when greetings are done they head inside.

It’s crowded inside the club, people packed tight and the air is thick and sweaty. The band isn’t supposed to play for a little while so they push their way to the bar and order drinks. Once they come they fight their way to a quieter corner of the club and stand, drinks in hand. There’s still an awkward silence in the air, Jiwon’s standing at the edge of the group a little behind Hanbin like he’s trying to hide. Hanbin tries to start a conversation but every one of his attempts fizzle out and die and eventually they fall back into silence.

Junhoe’s standing at the other end of the group, arms crossed and face closed off and cool. He’s not quite glaring, but there’s something pointed to the gaze he directs at Jiwon. Underneath the veiled anger however, there’s something that looks a lot like hurt. Hanbin remembers that Jiwon and Junhoe were close before he had even met Jiwon, in fact it’s only through Junhoe that he even got to know Jiwon. He remembers that they used to be best friends and he wonders what happened while he was gone. There’s something between them that goes beyond just the tension within the rest of the group, something deeper and bloodier and it hangs in the air between them like electricity.

Chanwoo has never been good with uncomfortable social situations and he’s the first to finish his drink, heading to the bar for another and then another and before too long he’s drunker then he should be. Fortunately for him it makes him oblivious to the continued atmosphere and he begins to animatedly chat about anything and everything that crosses his mind as his friends stand awkwardly in silence. The night drags on and the small club fills even more, pushing them closer and closer together and still the silence reigns and with Junhoe’s eyes drilling over his shoulder into Jiwon Hanbin’s really starting to think this wasn’t a good idea. He can feel the tension and guilt radiating off of Jiwon behind him in nearly palpable waves. Eventually Jinhwan breaks the silence and conversation starts to flow but it does little to dampen the air of trouble that’s brewing. After what probably is only half an hour but feels like much longer Jiwon leans in close and whispers in Hanbin’s ear,

“I think I’m going to head out… I don’t think now is the right time.”

Junhoe stalks away at that, pushing through the crowd of people with angry tight moves. There’s a look on his face that spells nothing but trouble and Jiwon follows him out with hurried steps, ignoring Hanbin’s calls to come back. Throwing a worried look at Jinhwan Hanbin scrambles after him, with the rest of the group close behind him. When he finally escaped the mass of the main floor and makes it out the door he finds Junhoe and Jiwon facing eachother, standing in the frigid air outside the club.

“Why do you always run away, Jiwon?”

Junhoe asks, and his voice is raw and furious, fists clenched by his side and face white with anger and cold.

“I’m not running, Junhoe, I just…this isn’t the right time for this.”

Junhoe scoffs, something hurt and small lurking behind the bitter noise.

“It never is though, is it? It’s never the right ing time with you. There’s always something.”

Jiwon shakes his head, running a hand through his hair, an edge of irritation in his voice.

“I’m not- I’m not trying to run away from you, or ignore you, or anything, please believe me, Junhoe.”

The two don’t even seem to aware of the rest of their friends, watching them from the sidelines, caught up in their own world. Hanbin moves forward, meaning to intervene, but Jinhwan puts a hand on his shoulder and shakes his head quietly and Hanbin stills. Jinhwan is right, this is something they need to work out themselves, obviously there is something between them that needs fixing. Junhoe continues on now, voice bordering on a shout.

“Why wasn’t I enough, Jiwon? Tell me that. I worked so hard to help you, and you never let me. Just tell me why I wasn’t enough.”

There is something broken to his voice, something sad, and Hanbin sees now what’s wrong and his heart aches for Junhoe.

“It’s not that you weren’t enough, it’s that I wasn’t ready to be saved.”

Jiwon says, eyes flying to Hanbin for a moment. Junhoe starts to pace back and forth like a caged animal, breath clouding in the air in front of him, eventually he stops in front of Jiwon,

“That isn’t an answer. You owe me an answer, Jiwon.”

Jiwon just shrugs, face blank.

“That’s all I have. It'll have to be enough."

Something tightens in Junhoe’s face, an almost imperceptible look but Hanbin sees it and starts forward again, sensing something is about to happen. Before he can do anything though Junhoe pulls back his arm and punches Jiwon square in the face. Jiwon stumbles back and doubles over, hands clutching at his nose which is now gushing blood and hisses out a choked expletive. Junhoe turns away face twisted in a grimace and shaking his hand. He swears once, loud and emphatic.

“”

Everybody stands frozen, unsure of what just happened and whether or not to jump in or just let it happen. Junhoe continues on,

“That really ing hurt, Jiwon!”

Jiwon looks up from his crouch, bottom of his face still covered by his hands and blood dripping onto his shirt.

“Why are you mad at me!? You were the one who punched me!”

“Yeah well why does your face have to be so damn hard?!”

Jiwon doesn’t have a reply to that and for moment they all just stand there in the chilly night air. Then suddenly Chanwoo starts to laugh, he’s draped against Donghyuk, arm around his shoulders and at first Donghyuk gives him a scandalized look but then Jiwon starts to laugh and after that Jinhwan and Yunhyeong follow quickly and then Donghyuk starts too. Hanbin laughs so hard it hurts, laughs till it’s hard to breathe and he has to lean over with his hands on his knees. Junhoe stands injured knuckles cradled in his other hand and a confused look on his face.

“What’s so funny?”

Jiwon forces out between laughs,

“You… you punched me...in the face.”

Junhoe gives him a look that seems to wonder if his friends have collectively lost their minds.

“Yeah, I know. How’s that funny?"

That just makes them laugh harder. And they laugh because they’re all outside this club missing the concert they came for and Chanwoo’s so drunk he can’t stand straight and Junhoe just punched Jiwon in the nose like this is some sort of overly dramatic soap opera and it’s ing freezing and things are going to be okay. It’s at this moment Chanwoo decides to loosen his grip on Donghyuk’s shoulder and he slides bonelessly forward onto the pavement, this development doesn’t seem to bother him much and he just starts to giggle harder. Finally a grin starts to spread on Junhoe’s face, small at first but growing larger and larger and then he’s laughing too.

“Holy , I can’t believe I hit Jiwon, what the !”

And so they all laugh until they cry, till their lips are numb with cold and their ribs ache. They laugh till it doesn’t hurt anymore and its not perfect, it's not fixed completely, but it's better.