SEUNGHYUN POV

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“Leena…wait up!” I stand up and go after her, brushing off Sayoung’s grip on my arm and dashing out of the kitchen. My brows knitted together as she’s nowhere to be seen. I spot Clarence at the common area, having fun with Joon and what more disconcerting is Leena’s evidently not with them.

My eyes anxiously scan over the house. Not her. Not her. Not her. I spin around and grab the handrails, skipping two steps at a time when someone walks down and we almost bump into each other but I don’t give a damn to even glance at the person. Who cares?  “Hey!” Ignoring her groan, I step aside and continue ascending without an apology. “Seunghyun? What’s wrong?”

I don’t have to turn to know who is talking. “Noona, I’m looking for Leena.” She remarks softly, concerned. “She’s in my room.” She climbs back up and stands on the same staircase with me. “She looks pretty knocked out so I offered her my room.” Frowning, she studies my face. “Is everything all right? Between you and Leena?” “I…”

“Hyunnie! Here you’re! I found your favourite ice-cream, we can have this over your stories.” She yells excitedly from kitchen threshold, a pint in her hands. Noona raises a brow at me which I return with a beseeching look and in less than a second comprehension sweeps across her face as she gives my hand a squeeze. “Leave it to me, go find her.” She points her chin upstairs. I give her an appreciative nod before I sprint to her room.

My fist stops midway in the air, few inches from the door. Should I knock? Knowing the rage boiling within her, I don’t think she will answer though. Can you blame her to be annoyed, to run away like this? You jerkhead. I heave a long sigh, forehead resting against the door exasperatedly.

I reach for the door knob, knowing it’s of no great odds but still, I have to try, right? Not surprisingly, it’s locked. Pressing my ear to the door, I strain to listen to any movement behind the door. Silence. What’s she doing in there? Crying? Cursing me with every vulgar words known to humans?

Whatever it is, it can’t be good. Silence can’t be good. The more I think about it, the more restless I get. I knock twice. “Leena, it’s me.” I try to turn the knob again but to no avail. Of course! What’s in your brainless brain? She’ll just open the door when you and let you in? After you unintentionally but unarguably flirted with your ex in front of her?

“I can explain, it’s nothing like what you think it is. Please, at least hear me out.”

Silence.

If I had the key… Then something hits me. I scurry to my room that omma keeps for me although I had already moved out and yank open the top drawer of the cabinet, retrieving the one thing and dashing out to noona’s room.

Gingerly, I insert the key into the keyhole and turn. I sigh in relief as I hear a click. Keeping a spare key to your siblings’ room is a brilliant idea. I push the door open gently, trying not to make a sound. A pang can be felt in my chest when a petite figure sitting on the floor, back against the edge of the bed comes into sight.

I approach her quietly, heart sinks deeper at each step I take for the desolated figure has her arms wrapped around bent legs, her head buried against her knees and sobs can be heard at her unsuccessful attempts to stop them.

I kneel beside her and pull her by her head to rest against my chest but she jerks backwards, probably frightened by my unannounced presence in the room. “Why are you…how…go out!” “I come to explain.” I try to reason but she retorts right away. “Well you said nothing back there, why do it now?” My hands hold onto her shoulders firmly so that she can’t run away from me.

“Leena, we need to talk.” More tears streaming down her tear stained cheeks and sorrow filling her eyes make me urge to slam my head against the door so I could come up with better choice of words. “ I didn’t mean whatever you’ve on your mind right now. I mean… we’re just friends and we’re talking about Clarence because he’s really talented and…”

“The first or the second?” She cuts me off, looking at me with her teary eyes. It takes me few seconds to figure out what she is actually asking. “The first.” She nods and looks away without saying a word. “But we broke up after three months.” I blurt out and thank God that gets her attention back on me.

“Everything I told you is true. I was in high school back then when I first met her. She’s one of noona’s best friends so she came over frequently. I didn’t know much about love but I found her attractive so when she kissed me… I didn’t push away.”

You know what scares me the most? How calm and composed she appeals to be now. Throwing a fit, cursing me, punching me or slapping me would have made me feel better but she did none of those.

Instead she stares at me in indifference as I speak but I know her well, too well to know under her indifference the emotion is churning like waves splashing over cliff inside of her. Her balled fists tell me the same.

We stare at each other for god knows how long before she casts her gaze out the window, seemingly to be in deep thoughts. I sigh inwardly and sit beside her, huddling against her warm body. She doesn’t move away. That has to be a good sign, right?

“So, it’s her?” The emotionless in her voice scares me even more. I want to answer “no” to anything and everything about “her” but that question puzzles me. Before I could ask, she adds, “It’s her the reason you’re breaking up with me?”

“What?” I splurt in total confusion. “Why would I?” Then a wave of panic washes over me. “What makes you think that? Did people out there say anything?” I shift a little and kneel right in front of her, hands firmly grabbing her arms to accentuate my earnestness. “You don’t have to listen to them, they don’t—”

“It’s not them.” “Then why—” “It’s you.” She answers matter-of-factly. Are we talking about the same topic? Are we even talking? Because everything looks like riddles to me since I stepped into this room.

“Me? I didn’t do anything.” I start to get defensive because how could she accuse me of planning to break up with her? The only thing that sticks in my mind now is how to keep her from running away from me, from regarding me as a heartless monster as how she regards Clarence’s father.

She looks away and draws her hands back from mine before wrapping her arms tighter against her knees. “Exactly.” A tear falls to the floor and so does my heart. “You didn’t do anything,” she adds between sobs to hold back her tears.

Am I supposed to do something? And what the hell would that be? I rack my brain to contemplate any details I might have left out, from the moment I saw her in her house this morning up until we arrived here. Nothing is out of order until she went all jealous girlfriend mode and ran upstairs.

I surrender. “I’d be grateful if you could fill me in, honey.”

“You changed.” Her voice so weak that I could barely make out the two words. “You just sat there and kept your mouth zipped up when she bragged about how YOU TWO USED TO BE TOGETHER.” A frown climbs onto my face at her emphasis. This is the reason behind all the fuss?  

“But everyone knows what’s between us. I bring you here with me, to my appa’s birthday and I never brought anyone else to family gathering like this, you practically have “Choi Seunghyun’s girlfriend” tag on your head when you walked in with me, not to mention I was holding your hand.”

Things get pretty heated up and she retorts. “Well then I’m sorry for my bad timing because apparently your ex-girlfriend was not there when you walked in hand in hand with me so it’s my fault that she didn’t see the girlfriend tag on my head. And you’ve a unique way to introduce your girlfriend.”

Damnit! Is your brain made of stone? How could you not notice it before? She isn’t jealous over anyone, she’s hurt because of your incapability of showing recognition.

Suddenly I don’t think there’s enough wall in this room for me to slam my head against, her tear-stained face and her wounded voice make my heart wrench. I stutter to explain my foolish self. “I…I didn’t know… I didn’t know she’ll be here and to be honest I don’t care. I—”

“Are you ashamed of me?”

She seems to have the ability to make my heart and brain stop altogether at once with a question that neither my heart nor brain could understand. Oh, and my mouth too because my jaw drops in surprise and confusion. Why would I feel ashamed of her?

“I can understand if you are. Look at who you are and look at me, I’m a mother to a kid, not to mention he’s a special one. I’m not in your league, I should have known that.” Her gaze follows her trembling hand as it hovers over my hand pressing on the floor. When I think she is going to rest it on mine, she retreats and looks back up at me, taking in a deep breath as she continues. “So, if you think being with me is a mistake and you should break—”

Her words squeeze my heart and break it into million little pieces. How can she think so insignificant of herself when she means so much to me? The thought of I’m the one who implanted that ridiculous notion in her head makes me wish to rip myself into pieces. I’ve heard enough of her self-defamation.

I hold her chin with one hand and close the gap between us, lips crashing on hers. The kiss is demanding, aggressive and nothing gentle. I capture her lips, nibbling and biting alternatively her upper and lower lips, swallowing whatever words coming from as I’m sure as hell it’s not what I want to hear. She tries to push me away with both her hands but I manage to trap them over my chest with my free hand.

This woman before me, this woman whom I love so much that my heart hurts, she does not have a slight idea how my heart aches when she turns her eyes away from me when she cries, when her insecurities and self-conscious take the better of her and even shade my love for her, as if I don’t deserve to be there for her, to be her sanctuary.

I never thought myself as such a dominant and rough when it comes to kissing, but I need to make sure my sincerity and love are conveyed to her heart all the way to her soul and her insecurities are frustratingly beyond my imagination.

I part our connected lips when she finally quiets down and stops struggling but being apart with her is the last thing I’d do right now so I rest my forehead against hers, keeping a negligibly close distance between us as our lips would brush against each other when one of us speaks.

“I love you.”

Yes, I said it. It’s funny that despite months we have been together, we have never said those three words to each other. Not that I don’t love her, I do, I’d love her to death, but it just didn’t occur important to me because she must have felt that even without those words spoken, right?

I was a fool for supposing so. Now that I think about it, I could be the one building insecurities within her fragile heart. If Seungri was here, I’m sure he would yell into my ears, “Which girl doesn’t like being told someone loves her? Did you misplace your and your brain?”

Her eyes go round and she pulls back, parting our connected forehead. “I love you,” I repeat. “I’m sorry that you hadn’t known it all this whole. I’d never want to break up with you, not even with a blade on my neck.” Feeling her hands tremble in mine, I hold them tighter to convince her. “I didn’t tell you how I feel toward you, how hard I’ve fell for you, how easy you could take my breath away with a gaze or a smile, because I thought you could feel it even if I kept it in my heart.”

Tears start to pour down from her eyes and she ducks her head, looking at the floor but I cup her cheek with a hand and guide her to face me. “No,” I plea, “Look at me when you cry, let me wipe your tears for you, let me be there for you.”

Did I say the correct thing? I couldn’t tell because more tears come streaming down her cheeks and the sight scares me. Is it normal that someone could have so much tears stored in her tiny body?

“But why did you distance yourself from me?” She asks with wavered voice. I’m stumped by her question. Not once it comes across my mind that my procrastination which delays the action to tell her the truth would appeal to be me distancing myself to her.

The biggest drawback of stalling is the longer you keep your words in mouth, the harder it becomes to let it out. I give her a quick scan, can I tell her the unspeakable truth now? Sighing inwardly, I know I can’t. But I can at least solve the pressing matter before us.

“I can go and tell her I’m dating with you and make sure she’ll get her hands off me, I’ll keep at least ten feet from her.” I contemplate her face for any sign of convincement, but the slight crease between her eyebrows tell me she isn’t convinced.

“Hell I’ll just show her who is my girlfriend and tell her to off.” I stand up, grabbing her wrist and stride towards the door but then I feel a tug from her wrist in my hand. She mumbles, “Stay,” when I send her a perplexed look. I’ve never been so ready to hold her hand and announce to everyone in this house that the charming lady beside me is my girlfriend.

She pulls again when I do not bulge. She pats the empty spot beside her. “Sit.” Hesitantly, I crouch and move to sit beside her, an arm draping over her shoulder, eyes never leave her face to inspect any tiny changes that give me hints on what’s running in her head.

Her eyes dart between my eyes and lips, her chest is heaving as if she’s trying to calm herself but judging from the look of it, she’s failing. Is she going to cry again? My hand reaches up to cup her cheek, thumb caressing her soft skin at the terrifying thought.

Because if she is, I must be prepared to wipe it away the second the colourless liquid breaches her eyes. I can’t stand seeing tears on her face and knowing I’m the one to be blamed.

Her lids flutter closed and she rubs her cheek against my palm slowly, making my heart skip a bit at her smooth gesture. When she opens her eyes to meet mine, she smiles. “Breathe.” That’s when I notice I’ve been holding my breath since I sat down. I exhale and gasp for air, but not before wrapping her in my arms.

My tensed body relaxes when her delicate arms snake around my waist to the small of my back and take a hold of my shirt. Resting my chin on her crown, I her lustrous long hair, feeling the softness between my fingers and taking in the unique scent of her that never fails to pacify me.

We stay in the position for a while, when I believe she’s fast asleep she whines with muffled voice against my chest, “I don’t like the way she calls you.” I let out a few titters at her childlike tone as I hug her closer, amazed by how I can fall into the bottomless darkness and shoot up to the heaven in the course of minutes and this rollercoaster trip is because of the few words from the same person?

Another ironclad proof that I’ve fallen hard for her.

“I’ve always liked pet names, but you never gave me one.” I pout, although she can’t see it with her face buried against my chest, but I believe my dissatisfaction has been conveyed through my whiny groan.

She retrieves a hand from my back before drawing circles on my thin shirt. She’s quiet. I can feel she’s thinking hard. With all my honesty I swear I enjoy her gesture, but does she know what effect she has on me when it’s just a thin layer of fabric between her fingers and my now sensitive chest?

It doesn’t help as well, when she tilts her head and looks at me with her innocent eyes. “What would you like me to call you?” Her plump lips are protruding in such a seductive way when she’s thinking hard. “Seunghyunnie? Tabi?”

I don’t mind what name or names you give me, everything sounds good when it comes from your mouth, just…keep that plumpy and pouty lips away from me, I’m trying with all my willpower to compose myself here. Oh and don’t look at me with that doe eyes of yours.

“Hmm…” God don’t make that moan too! She is in total ignorance of the heat rising within me as she innocently cracks her head for a pet name for me while I can feel myself getting aroused and I squirm uncomfortably as the jeans get tighter.

“Bingu?” She shakes her head slightly, dismissing the idea. “Everyone calls you Bingu…”

I lift my head to scan the room, counting how many bottles of skincare products are there on the dressing table in the corner of the room, studying the pattern of the painting hanging on the wall. I need diversion.

“Ah!” Her eureka moment snaps my eyes back to her. diversion, I need attention. “What about—” I claim her lips in mine, devouring her sweetness. She doesn’t stay still like she did before but parts her lips which I take as an inviting sign.

A gasp escapes as I lift her onto my lap so that she’s straddling me. Her hands hold onto my shoulder involuntarily to balance herself when I explore the warm cavern of while she returns the favour with equal fervent.

I at her bottom lip for one last time before trailing wet kisses across her jaw and down her neck to her collarbones, and nibbling along the way to leave my marks on her. 

She moans on top of me, hands wrapped around my neck, her legs spread wider as she leans closer to me and I can feel her core vaguely brushing against my groin. The realisation of her wearing a dress makes my shaft twitch painfully.

Supporting her with a hand on her back, my free hand finds its way to her inner thigh and I smirk when she shivers in anticipation, burying both of her hands in my hair and pulling slightly.

The grin on my face grows wider as my fingers meet with her wet . “Oh baby, how did you get so wet already? I love that.” I pant huskily between planting kisses on any bare skin of her that my mouth could reach.

With a slow pace, I her through the damp fabric, forcing half-supressed moans that sound very much like “Hyunnie…” from . Her lips reach down to find mine and her hands work on ing my shirt sloppily.

There’s one more button left when we hear a faint knock on the door. We freeze. Did I lock the door when I came in? Please tell me I locked the door when I came in. “Leena, the cake will be ready in ten, are you joining us? Or you need more rest?”

We exchange glances, it’s noona behind the door. Leena cards her finger through her hair and clears . “I’ll be there in five, eonni. I feel better now.” She sends me a deadly glare when I mouth “We’re more than better”, stealing a kiss from her swollen lips.

A moment of silence outside the door before noona asks again, “Is that with you? He was looking for you and I sent him upstairs.” Our eyes widen. She covers her hand over my mouth, shaking her head frantically when I gesture that I should go and open the door.

“Uh… No, Seunghyunni…Seunghyun-ssi is not with me. He could be…be with Clarence though.” I chuckle silently at the way she addresses me. Really? Seunghyun-ssi? “Ah… Is that so…?” Noona questions doubtfully.

But she drops it. “See you in five then, I’ll go look for him downstairs.” “Ne, eonni.”

We exhale simultaneously when noona’s footsteps grow faint and finally disappear down the hall. She struggles to stand up from her position, her face flushes red as she does so.

Standing by the dressing table, I button up and straighten my shirt, hoping the wrinkles on it are not as obvious as I think they are. I shake my head amusedly when I look into the mirror at my own reflection only to meet with a man with messy hair and wrinkled shirt.

Lipstick marks on my cheeks and lips are another evidence to our heated reconciliation. I pull a few tissues from the box on the table, dabbing and wiping the stains off my face, grinning while doing so.

She fakes a cough to get my attention and when she has it, she’s standing by the door, a hand on the doorknob, face still as red as a ripened tomato. “Come down after five minutes, eonni will get suspicious if we appear together.”

I raise a brow at her. My thirty year experience of being her dongsaeng tells me she’s way smarter than you think.  But if doing so can put Lenna at ease, why not? “Okay.” I shrug and look down to tug in my shirt, groaning at the half-erected junior trapped beneath the pair of jeans. It would be really embarrassing if any of the guests downstairs saw this in the middle of my appa’s birthday gathering.

“Oh, by the way.” I snap my head towards her in shock, my eyes wide as saucers. Why is she still here? Did she catch me looking at my stubbornly standing little brother? Standing outside the door, she pops her head in and sends me a smirk, pointing at her jaw with her index.

I blink. Then I look in the mirror and flurriedly wipe away the red mark across my jawline. As I go nearer to the mirror to inspect my face clearly, she closes the door, snickering.

When I descend the stairs and join the others in the common area, hands tugging and brushing the shirt to smoothen the creases, noona sends a knowingly smug my way. “Make up is always the best, isn’t it?” She whispers beside me when we’re standing behind appa, singing birthday song along with everyone in the room.

“What? We didn’t…” “I know you were in the room, the spare key you keep is gone.” She whispers in a low but mischievous voice that none can hear other than me as she keeps her eyes straight ahead and affectionate smile on her face when the others are cheering and showering appa with wishes.

My mind goes blank. “Uh…”

She nudges me with her elbow and I bend over her to listen closely. “I ACCIDENTALLY slipped that you’ve got a girlfriend to Sayoung.” Although the way she says it makes it doesn’t sound like an accident at all, I choose not to ask. “But still, you need to do something, you know, to clarify things and make a stand.” I nod firmly.

“It’s time for photographs!” Someone in the crowd shouts. I recognize the man with his long hair tied behind his head is the one walking around the house and taking candid photos. Must be a photographer noona hires.

He inquires shall we start with family portraits as he crouches down, taking his camera in his hands to standby. Noona and Jaehoon Hyung with Yeonjoon and I scoot closer to appa, omma sitting beside him as the others scatter away to give us space.

“Is everyone here?” The photographer looks up from his camera. Then something hits me and I hold up a hand. “Wait, the portrait is not complete without them.” I scan around the room and a smile cracks across my face as I spot the two persons across the room with their backs facing me.

Walking through the crowd, I could sense the curious stare the crowd throws at me but I have my eyes unswervingly trained on the two persons that would complete my family.

“Where are you two going?” I hold her hand in mine and move to stand in front of them, blocking their way. Clarence sends me his gummy smile but the woman holding his hand looks at me with her eyes wide open which I interpret into “what the hell are you doing here”.

“It’s time for photographs, didn’t you hear it?” She blinks at me. “I did, it’s family portraits and I don’t think that involves us.” She explains matter-of-factly. I chuckle. “Silly, you’re my family, of course that involves you, c’mon.” I reach out a hand to Clarence and the smart kid grabs it with no second thought, although he appears to be perplexed by the new relationship between us that I had just introduced him.

But his mother is not that easy. She puts a hand on my arm and whisper yells, “What the heck are you doing? Everyone is looking at us.” Her eyes dart nervously back and forth around the guests. From the corner of my eyes I find my ex-girlfriend fumingly glaring at us.

I lean over until we’re eye level, looking straight into her eyes. A lopsided smile crosses my face before I steal a kiss from her lips. “Making a stand.”

A/N: I know, this story is labelled "UNDER CONSTRUCTION", but still, if you're reading this, please let us know what you think^^