LEENA’S POV

Everything hurts. Every inch of my body hurts. Can someone just shut the damn thing off? Whatever it is, its beeping is annoying.

“Her finger’s moving!” a familiar voice speaks from my right hand side, not long before I feel a gentle touch on my face. I force to open my eyes, only to slam them back down once they meet the blinding light above me. Seconds later I open them again, slower this time so that they could adjust to the light.

Eomma?

I open my mouth to speak but nothing other than a croaked weird noise. My throat feel so dry, as if someone had shoved a whole ton of wool down my throat.

“She’s awake! Get the doctor!” she instructs someone standing at the foot of my bed and I could only spot his well-built figure and buzz cut hair before he grabs the door.

“Nahyun, can you hear me? How are you feeling?” Eomma’s hand on my cheek somehow soothes the pain and I smiled. At least I try to. She has aged, the wrinkles and lines around her eyes and forehead have taken larger territory than I remember.

I look down at my right arm, it’s covered in plaster cast and I can’t move an inch without the pain shoot through me. I try to move my left hand instead. There are wires attached to it.

IV drips.

No doubt I’m in a hospital now. But what has happened to me? As if to answer my question, a man in white coat walks into the room while a gentle smile. “You’re awake.”

“Doctor Kim, how’s my daughter?”

He picks up a clipboard and his eyes linger at the machine next to my bed before he walked closer with a small flashlight to check on my pupils.

“Her vitals are improving, she’s been doing great, given her condition.” He turns his attention to me. “You’ve several cuts over your body but all of them are minor. Your right arm is broken. Minor internal bleeding from two broken ribs. The only unfortunate news is about your—”

Eomma’s cough stops him and I watch in doubt as they exchange looks, waiting for the hammer to drop, but it never comes.

He flashes his smile at me. “At all events, everything has been stabilized, you’re a lucky girl.” He shifts his gaze to my mom, “It won’t take long before she can go home.”

My mom releases a sigh, relieved and thankful. But it doesn’t help solve the puzzle on my mind at all.

“What happened?” I ask with croaked voice.

He studies me with a mild frown, for a moment his smile disappears but he puts it back on quick enough. “What do you remember? Before the accident?”

Accident? I don’t even remember there’s an accident! But there has to be one, otherwise I wouldn’t be lying here, whole body hurts like I has been a punching bag for an infighter, wires and tubes attached to me and that damn thing still beeping beside me.

But I have to try one way or another. I close my eyes, try to search for memories. “There’s a cat… and then I saw… two huge lights and…” I stop, mouth agape, because nothing came after the blinding lights, it was darkness. “I don’t remember anything after that.”

Doctor Kim exchanges glances with Eomma, again. I don’t like this at all.

Over the following hours I have been sent to different rooms for different tests—MRI, CT scan, and a few others with names longer and scarier than I want to remember. Doctor Kim is with me for most of the time, asking questions casually but I know it is part of the test, too.

His questions are weird, to say the least. Why would he ask an accident patient the name of current president, who won the latest World Cup? And on top of it all, he asks about my age. Of course I’m 18, age is always a sore spot for girls, regardless her actual age.  

Oh, talking about weird. The guy in the room when I regained consciousness, is Youngbae Oppa. It feels surreal because last time we met, he certainly didn’t look that way. Now he’s bulkier, less annoying and he’s not wearing those hip hop clothes.

When I’m done with all the tests and being rolled back to my room, there’s another man in the room with him. Eomma has gone home to fetch toiletries and fresh clothes for me that I doubt how I would be able to use them.

Then the weirdest thing happens.

I look over at the man, waiting for him to speak up, to at least introduce himself because I’m tired and my whole body hurts like hell and all I want to do right now is close my eyes and get some sleep because those pains would go away when I’m asleep, right?

But he just looks back at me. Painfully.

I turn my head away, mind running miles a minute.

Maybe I do know him, although I don’t remember having a friend as gorgeous as this man before me. He’s handsome, there’s no denial in that, and you wouldn’t forget someone with this face. Perhaps he is Youngbae’s friend? But why is he looking at me like that?

He finally approaches, dragging his feet across the room to my bed in painfully slow steps after Youngbae leaves to grab coffee for them. I turn my head, slowly because it still hurts, and meet his intense gaze. Whoever he is, he should stop staring at people with those eyes, they drown souls. For a moment I forget the pain piercing through me and I just look at him. I mean like really look at him.

His features resemble someone I know, but I can’t quite put a name to it. “Are you the driver?”

“W-what?” His expression blank.

“Did you run over me and now you’re here to apologize?” I can’t think of any other reason for him to keep staring at me like he has done something terrible to me. Guilt is screaming in his eyes.

“No, it’s not me.” He shifts left and right in his position, fiddling with his fingers.

“Then who are you?” As attractive as he is, I’m not up for this, not in my current condition, I just want to get this over with and go back to my sleep.

“You d-don’t remember me?”

“Why else would I be asking?”

He looks like he has just been struck. I could feel the air get tense with every passing second.

“Seunghyun. I’m Seunghyun.”

“Choi Seunghyun?”

“Now you remember?” His eyes light up and he takes one step closer.

“I know only one Seunghyun,” I reply. “But you look—” I pause to search for a suitable word to fit this odd situation, “—different.”

I’m being honest, the Choi Seunghyun in my memory is more corpulent, dorky and he doesn’t look at me with that gaze. The man before me is anything but.

Now that I pay more attention, it’s not difficult to tell how much they resemble each other, Choi Seunghyun in my memory and this whoever he is standing by my bed. If he loses some weight, change his choice of clothing, maybe he will be like this man.

But he claims that he’s Choi Seunghyun. Now I feel like I’ve been struck. What if he’s telling the truth? Just how much time did I lost from a stupid accident? I shut my eyes briefly to dismiss this ridiculous assumption. C’mon, this is not one of those melodramas, people don’t lose their memories to an accident. I just need some time to regain my bearings, that’s all.

The door opens and Youngbae strolls in with two cups of coffee, one in each hand. He stops in his tracks, as if he could sense the tensed atmosphere in the room, and hands a cup to Seunghyun—let’s just assume he is—before he regards me with a faint smile. “Doctor says you need to rest, but we’re allowed to stay here with you so if you need anything, we’ll be here.”

I dart a look at Seunghyun, “But who—”

“We’ll talk when you wake up,” Youngbae cuts me off. “Now rest, you look like you need it.”

I give him a small nod, shooting one last glance at the mysterious man beside him before my eyes give way to weariness.

I don’t know how long I have been sleeping, but when I open my eyes, the urge to throw things at the beeping machine beside me has subsided, not gone, but much better. My lips curl up at the beam of soft sunlight coming through the window.

When I think I’m the only person in the room, my eyes catch two figures sitting on the couch at the other side, Youngbae’s head on Seunghyun’s shoulder while the latter’s head tilted to rest on Youngbae’s. Both look exhausted. But cute.

My eyes linger at him, I try to look away but I couldn’t, I find familiarity in this guy, which deeply puzzles me because I don’t have any memory related to him. With Seunghyun, yes, although we were never close, but Seunghyun doesn’t look like him, regardless how close their resemblances are.

Before I lose myself in my thought, a nurse comes in to replace my IV bag, waking them up in the process. She informs us that Doctor Kim would come in later, perhaps with preliminary results of those tests before she excuses herself.

Once the nurse has left, the duo walk over to the either side of my bed and start shooting off questions at me.

“Do you need anything?”

“How are you feeling?”

“Are you in pain? The doctor can give you morphine for the pain.”

“Anything you wanna eat? Can you eat?”

I chuckle at their overanxiety. “Guys, I’m not made of glass.”

“Can you help me up?” My intact hand gripping at the bedsheet, I struggle to sit up only to be pushed back softly by Seunghyun before he rests my head back on the pillow. “Stay still,” his voice slow and gentle, his hand brushes over my intact forearm and my breath hitches at the subtle contact.

What’s that? I interrogate myself as Youngbae rushes over to the foot of my bed and after playing with few buttons, the head of the bed is raised to a comfortable level. Now I can at least look at them without straining my eyes and my neck, I have had enough injuries.

My eyes dart forth and back between the men in my room, waiting for either of them to speak, any of them. We will talk when I wake up, right? But why neither of you is talking?

As if on cue to save us from the overflowing awkwardness, the door opens and my attention leaves them as a woman walks in. “Eomma!” I would have hopped down from the bed and ran into her have I not been attached to wires. She sends me a smile and my heart drops as I observe the wrinkles around her eyes. She was so young before my accident, I must have worried her.

I was wrong about Eomma saving us from the awkwardness. The atmosphere grows even more unpleasant since her arriving, especially between her and Seunghyun. The man can’t even look her in the eyes, his head drops low, his eyes are glued to the floor since she stepped foot into the room.

Doctor Kim comes in shortly after, his hands tucked in the pockets of his white coat, the mild crease across his brow gives me an ominous feeling. He demands a more private conversation with me in a tactful way.

Youngbae and Seunghyun bow and take their leave, but not before Seunghyun’s eyes dart between me and Doctor Kim, as if begging to stay. “Hyung, let’s get something to eat and freshen up a bit.” Youngbae drags him away, and I catch his eyes for one last time before they disappear behind the door.

“So,” Doctor Kim looks over the clipboard once the door is closed, “Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah,” he loses my attention as Eomma’s fishing boxes from the tote bag she carries with her, spreading them on the over-bed table and pull it closer to me. My eyes light up at the food and drool starts to pool in my mouth. She then pours a cup of some sort tea from a thermos and I frown at that because it doesn’t smell like any tea I’ve had. “What’s that?” I ask with cautious when Eomma brings the cup to me and holds it still until I grab it slowly with my left hand.

Doctor Kim answers instead of Eomma. “Raspberry leaf tea, it’ll help.”

I take a shallow sip. Help what?

“The preliminary results come back good, except for a small spot of gore accumulated in your skull. And that, is the most possible cause to your memory loss.”

I look up over my tea, his smile’s gone now. Memory loss?

“It’s 2016 now, Miss Lee.” He adds, as if it would make any sense to me.

I just stare at him, left hand still holding the handle of the cup. Then I whirl my head around to Eomma, hoping to find at least a hint to show me that whatever bull the doctor is telling is a joke, but she’s willing the tears to stay in her eyes. Soon few pieces of puzzle fall into place, although not perfectly, but enough to give me a clear picture. That explains those wrinkles on her, and the changes in Youngbae.

My heart thumps at the thought of that man. So…he is Seunghyun? That Seunghyun I know? 

“You don’t seem surprised.”

Of course I’m surprised, it just hasn’t hit me yet. Ten years, ten damn years have slipped from my fingers, but I don’t feel losing anything, I don’t feel a void in my memory.

“I… I don’t know what I’m missing,” I admit defeatedly. “Is there any cure?”

“It’s too dangerous to extract the gore through surgery. But usually it will go away in time, and the memory will come back.”

“What if it doesn’t?” And I just lose ten years in my life?

“Keep your heart in a happy mood. Looking at the bright side, you’re ten years younger than you were.” He tries to lift up the grave atmosphere in the room. Eomma hasn’t spoken a word.

I set the cup on the table and reach over her to give her hand a firm squeeze, forcing a smile as sincere as I could come up with. “He has a point.”

She bites back tears and smiles wearily. “What do you wanna eat? Or anything you wanna read? I can bring it to you later.”

I push out my lower lip and think. “Coffee?”

“I don’t suggest you drink that.” Doctor Kim’s disapproval comes before Eomma can even nod. I quirk an eyebrow at him, but he looks at Eomma instead.

“She deserves to know.”

I can feel my blood turns cold at the concerned look he throws my way and Eomma simply looks away. “I deserve to know everything, it’s my body, don’t I have the right to know what’s going on with myself?” I mean, what could be worse than amnesia?

“We can’t keep your baby, you lost too much blood.”

Now the hammer has dropped. And I can feel the void. The bottomless void in my heart, although I can’t really fathom why. I don’t remember having a baby, but my hand reflexively reaches over my belly. Has a baby been in there?

Wait, a baby? I don’t even have a boyfriend! Where did the baby come from? Have I married in the past ten years that I remember nothing about? I chance a glance at my left hand, then right. No ring.

I turned to Eomma with imploring eyes, hoping she could at least provide some hints on that. She opens to say something, but is cut off by a strange howl from outside the room. Sound of raised and angry voices follows after.

“What’s happening outside?”

Being the nearest to the door, Doctor Kim pulls it open slightly, just enough to have a brief look at the commotion outside the room. From the crack and with the best I could crane my neck, Seunghyun’s standing right outside the door, face Youngbae beside him, holding his arm.

My hear skips a beat when Seunghyun removes his knuckles from his mouth, blood dripping from the corner of it. Someone charges towards him but Youngbae’s reflex is quick to pull Seunghyun away. When the man throws a stare at the open door, Eomma in a breath and my brain stops.

Appa.

SEUNGHYUN’S POV

“Bae, you go ahead, I don’t feel like eating.” I wave him off at the offer of breakfast and plop down on the bench outside Leena’s room. But I can’t wave off the image of how she looked at me, like I mean nothing more than a stranger to her.

He puts a hand on my shoulder. “I figured. I’ll just go get us some coffee, be back soon.”

As he takes off, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. Fishing it out, I can’t say I’m surprised to see a bunch of missed calls and texts. I stretch my back while pulling out the latest text, sleeping on a couch is less than comfortable, much less when you’re sitting on it for one whole night.

Jiyong is concerned about Leena’s condition and he wonders will that be inconvenient if he brings Clarence over to the hospital later. I chew on my lips, fingers poising over the screen. I doubt she remembers us at all, Ji.

The reply comes in no time. What does that mean?

My brow raises, I hope I know what that means, too. Before I could type in a word, someone storms down the hallway furiously, “Hey you, prick, that’s you, isn’t it?”

Instinctively, I turn my head to the opposite site of the hallway. But there’s no one. It has to be me he’s talking to because I’m the only one in this hallway, or else he is talking to the air. Problem is I don’t know him.

He stops right in front of the bench, towering over me, his chest heaving up and down, every of his breath loads with the smell of tobacco. “Who are—”

He grabs the collar of my shirt and yanks me upward from where I’m sitting with strength much stronger than a man his age. Unprepared with this sudden forcible action, I stumble from my seat.

“What’s she doing in that slum? Why would she even go there?” he clutches my shirt with both hands, shaking me while he fires off accusations. Has it not been his anger and my mind clouded with thoughts of the conversation going on in the room, the scene would be funny because I’m the taller between the two and the man is tilting his head to reach my eyes while he glares at me.

But who is this guy again?

“Uncle!” Youngbae comes dashing down from another site of the hallway, setting down the coffee cups on the bench before comes between us and forcefully unhinge the man’s fists off me.

Uncle? Uncle who?

I look over at him, finally connecting the dots. Leena’s father?

“Because she’s pregnant and you wanna pass the buck? You coward! She lost the baby, is that what you want?”

Not his raspy shriek that snaps me back from my thoughts, it’s his words and the meaning they imply.

An incredulous “W-what?” sputters from me and Youngbae. Pregnant? She’s pregnant? Did she know? If she did, why didn’t she tell me?

Then I freeze, her words echo in my head.

We used protection every time so I don’t know how it could happen.

Blood drains from my face as realisation dawns on me. She knew, and she wanted to tell me, she just didn’t get to do it.

The noise has gained attention and a small crowd has gathered around us. Few of them are pointing fingers at me and Youngbae, I hope our faces are ty enough from the lack of sleep for them to not recognize, but I really couldn’t care.

While Youngbae’s too dumbstruck to regain his composure, the man seizes advantage to break free from his hold and charges towards me, landing a hefty punch on my stomach before another on my face, sending me double over and tumble backwards.

But I could do nothing to defend myself. I can’t even move a finger. No, I don’t want to. So when he lunges towards me with a fist in the air, I simply close my eyes and wait for it to land on wherever it pleases its owner.

Someone pulls me away. And the door is open.

“Privacy of a superstar you call it? Dating my daughter in secret and you try to get rid of her when she’s pregnant? To shrug the burden off your shoulder? I’ll make you pay for it!”

His further attempts at causing bruises over my body are stopped by the hospital security, one of them at his either side, grabbing hold onto his shoulders and arms and guiding him away. But they couldn’t shut his mouth as he keeps yelling over his shoulder, “All you care about is your reputation, you stay away from my daughter!”

Doctor Kim rushes over to check on me, dropping questions about are there injuries under unexposed skin to which I absentmindedly reply with “I’m good”. Youngbae scoffs at the man’s back as he’s dragged down the hallway and mutters something under his breath, but it’s all tuned out because when I turn to the open door, Leena’s staring at me from her bed, her face pale, even paler than last night when she was lying lifelessly on the bed.

When our eyes meet, I can feel my world begins to crumple.