LEENA POV

I have never met a man that full of himself.

Being a single mother in my late 20’s is definitely not something to be proud of, but I don’t feel shameful for that either. I’m proud to have Clarence. A friendly reminder for you, I’m the CEO of a company, I’ve a company running under me! Do I look like a sasaeng fan to you? Do I look like someone that would sneak into the community with a box of pizza in my hand to surprise my beloved oppa?

FLASHBACK

“Are you a fan?” he asked me.

“Err… I don’t think so,” I answered irresolutely.

In fact, I didn’t really pay attention to what he was asking. I was kind of face palming myself in my mind, for what I thought of him before in the mall, and for how I had reacted.

The one I suspected to be a kidnapper hired by my father, was actually TOP? What was my little brain thinking? Wait, did I still have my brain with me? I had literally embarrassed myself in the mall…

He arced a brow, and took one step towards me, “Is that for me?”

I didn’t get what he meant by that, out of instinct I lifted my head to look at him, frowning, “Sorry?” When I realised he had his eyes on my pizza, the truth hit me.

“No,” I said and took a step back, pulling the pizza box to my back.

“I think, it is. Thanks!” he came near me and grabbed the box I tried to hide at me back. He smelled alcohol and faint cologne. Wait! That didn’t matter! He opened the box, as if it was indeed his. Just how rude this man can be?

 “Pepperoni. Wow! You’re truly fans. Thanks! I’d had my dinner, but this can be my supper just fine!” he turned around to enter his house, leaving the dumbfounded me behind.

I wanted to scream “Hey bastard, that’s mine!”, but somehow, my voice was stuck in my throat.

“Oh, by the way,” he turned to me, “I will be grateful if you keep this just between two of us. I’d prefer not seeing a bunch of fans in front of my gate when I wake up tomorrow,” he even winked at me before he disappeared into his house.

What the heck just happened?!

END OF FLASHBACK

Ugh! I can’t concentrate on the contract as the scene yesterday invaded my mind, once again. I pull my hair out of frustration.

I should have done something. I should have slapped some sense into him, I should have stepped on his foot mercilessly like how the girls did to the guys in those dramas, I should have screamed “I’m not a fan of yours you arrogant bastard!” right to his face.

But why didn’t I do any of it? Why on earth would I just stand there, like a stupid star-struck girl?

“Okay, Leena, calm down,” I murmur to myself as I take a deep breath. I have this habit of thinking out loud, especially when I’m alone. “He’s just a self-centered ignorant who thinks the world is revolving around him. As an educated woman, let’s put all this behind.”

Right, I have something more important to do. It’s Clarence’s birthday next week, and I’ve not planned anything about it. I’ve been busy with a project for months, and I finally got it done few days ago. I think I deserve one day-off. I look at my wristwatch, it’s already 3pm. Well, half day-off will do.

Sitting on the balcony seat in my favourite cafe, I sip on my macchiato while looking for some ideas for Clarence’s birthday on the internet. He’s going to be 5 next week. I can’t believe the baby that was nothing bigger than a thermos is going to turn 5. I’ve been doing a good job, haven’t I? A smile formed on my lips as I think of him.

I scribble some ideas for the food, decoration, and the list of guests we might invite. The latter worries me the most. Clarence hasn’t had a birthday party before. We used to celebrate with my grandfather, occasionally with his nanny. And that’s all. We didn’t invite anybody else over. In fact, there’s nobody we can invite.

I suppose we should have some changes this year. Since Clarence has made some friends in his school, and we can invite our neighbours over as well.

It didn’t cost me a second to decide throwing the birthday party at our house. I want to make this party special, I want to do it myself.

I cross the scribble on my notebook. Home or restaurant?

Then I proceed with the row under it. Korean or western?

Cake is essential. I can get it from here, Clarence loves the chocolate mousse cake here. And barbeque should be able to satisfy everyone. You grill anything you like, and I’m sure there must be something you like. Nobody hates BBQ, right?

Korean or western?     BBQ

That leaves the last question.

DESSERT….???

I purse my lips, scowling. I scribble everything that comes to my mind. Cookies, brownies, cupcakes, ice-cream…

Clarence likes all of them, but there’s no way I can bake all of these on my own. “One, just pick one, Leena,” I bite my lower lip a little as my eyes scan over the list again and again.

 “Vanilla ice-cream?” suddenly a husky voice breaks my train of thought.

I turn my head around and a man with heavy disguise is standing behind me, bending over a little to look at my scribbles, with an iced Americano in his hand. The cologne smells familiar. When I look into his eyes, I know exactly who he is. No way in hell I will ever forget this pair of eyes.

But I didn’t forget this either. He’s also the man I swear for thousand times that I’ll never meet nor talk to again. Let’s play the I-do-not-know-you-game.

“Do I know you?” I ask as I turn my head around, try to focus on the list.

“We met yesterday. You’re my fans,” he answers nonchalantly, and takes a seat across my table.

“Excuse me?” I lean back in my chair, cross my arms and glare at him.

He looks disappointed, “You don’t recognize me? I thought you’re my fans,” he pulls down his mask before he sips on his drink.

I try as hard as I could to hold back my laughter, when I decide to play a game, I give it my best, be it business or be it with this in front of me. “Sorry, but I don’t recall meeting you,” I gather my things on the table and leave without saying another word.

When I’m downstairs, I jump up in triumph. Yes, I hold my fist in the air and scream “Yes!!” out loud. Take this, Mr. Arrogant.

“What do you want for your birthday?” I ask while wiping his mouth with a napkin. “I don’t know,” he answers nonchalantly, scooping a spoonful of ice-cream from his banana split. I bet he didn’t even listen to my question, he’s so busy fighting with his ice-cream.

“Do you want to invite your friends?”

And this time he just shrugs.

“Do you want cake?” I try again.

“Hmm…” still not listening huh?

“I’m thinking a chocolate mousse cake?” I tap my index finger against my chin, pretending to be thinking hard. He lifts his head to look at me with his glistering eyes. Gotcha!

“Chocolate mousse cake it is then,” I smile and brush his hair, satisfied with his response.

“How about your friends?” I bring back the old topic since I have his attention on me now. My heart wrenches as his face turns gloomy.

“What is it? Did something happen?”

Please! Please don’t tell me someone is bullying you.

“Can I ask you something, mom?” he puts his spoon down and looked at me in earnest.

“Of course darling, anything,” I brush my thumb over his cheek, trying to assure him.

“Where’s my father?”

Well, that’s not the question I was expecting. 

I’m not ready with this question yet.

Deep down in my heart, I know I’ll never be ready with this question.

Honestly, seriously, I’ve no idea of his father’s whereabouts.

“Jia told me, her father brought her to mountain last week. She asked me why my father never sent me to school.” 

“He… ” I should just make up a lie, tell him his father is away for business, or on a cruise. But when I look at his eyes, I know I can’t lie to him. I’ve to tell him the truth. And the truth is, “I don’t know…”

We look at each other in silence. Then he looks down at his lap in defeat, his shoulders slump.

My heart is in ache. But still, I try to cheer him up, “Clarence, look at mommy,” when he finally lifts his head to look at me, “You don’t need a father. I’m your mommy, and I’m your daddy too. Am I not enough for you darling?” I ask in soft voice, I even try to pout a little.

“I love you mom. But I miss my father.”

That’s probably the most hurtful sentence I’ve ever heard. After everything I’ve done for him, the sleepless nights I had because he’d stay up all night and cry when he was still a baby, the despise look people gave me for raising a child on my own, how I burned the candle at both ends balancing my study and part-time job, not to mention loving and caring him with everything I have.

For the past five years, I’ve done everything I could for him. I even turned over my family for him. And now he’s missing a man he’d never met before?

“Clarence...” I can’t control tears from rolling down my cheek.

“I’m sorry mom. I’m sorry. I won’t ask about that again,” he runs into my arms and crosses his arms.

*Few days later*

Today is Clarence’s birthday, and I’d invited Hyori eonni and some of our neighbours to join his birthday party at my house. We grew close since Clarence and I moved in here. We would go for tea occasionally, and when I bake snacks, I make sure to have some extras for them.

Clarence has invited his best friend, Jia, the person he’s closest to, and two of his classmates.

“I don’t see Seunghyun here. Is he missed out?” Hyori eonni asks when we are preparing dishes in the kitchen.

“Mr. Arrogant? No, that didn’t cross my mind,” I say while mixing salad in a big bowl.

“Wae? It would be fun with him here, the kids will love him.”

Kids? Love him? Mr. Arrogant? Hyori eonni, are you making a joke?

“Eonni, that man, he’s still single isn’t he? And this party are for kids. I don’t think it will be suitable for him. He might find this boring,” I try to reason with her.

“Trust me, that man loves kids. Plus, that old hermit needs to come out from his shell. I’m bringing him,” Eonni says firmly as she washes her hands and walks out the kitchen.

“Eonni….” I try to stop her with my aegyo.

“Or you just don’t like him, because he stole you pizza?” she stops halfway and turned to me.

She smirks at me when I become uneasy with what she has just said. She saw that “pizza incident”?

“What? No, of course not. Do I look like some narrow-minded girl who will fuss over a pizza? Don’t be kidding, eonni,” I try to hide the uneasiness.

Her smirk doesn’t fade a bit, “Right, you’re not that kind of girl, definitely not,” she pauses, looking at me daringly, “So, I guess that means it’s totally fine with me inviting him over?”

I try to come up with some lame excuses, but she’s gone before I could say a word. Eonni……

Ten minutes later, Hyori eonni marches in, with Mr. Arrogant following behind her. Awkwardness written all over his face. What’s happened?

Hyori eonni stands between us, “I think both of you didn’t have a proper introduction yet. Let me do the honour. Leena, this is Choi Seunghyun, and Seunghyun, this is Leena,” she says excitedly.

“Hi. Uhmm… Nice to meet you,” he offers me a handshake. “That’s awkward, that’s not him,” my little brain spinning. His hand is left hanging, and the atmosphere is suffocating as nobody is saying a word.

I raise my hand to grab his. He leaves out a sigh of relief as our hands touch, has he been holding his breath for this long?

“Great! Now get acquainted with each other. I’ll get everything done here, don’t worry,” Hyori eonni says as she pushes us gently out the kitchen, with a satisfied smile plastered on her face.

Now we’re standing side by side, not knowing what to do, nor what to say. Silence surrounds us once again.

 “Uhm…. I’m sorry about the pizza,” he says as he brushes the back of his head.

Hyori eonni told him anything? There’s no way this cocky man can come to his sense, at least not so soon.

While I’m still considering what to respond, he repeats, “I’m sorry for the pizza.” “For that night,” he adds.

“It’s fine.”

That’s what I can come up with? Come on Leena Lee…

“This is for you son.” he extends me a big box. He has been hiding it at his back, and I didn’t notice it because… Well, because I wasn’t paying attention on him. Now I’m guilty.

“Wow… Uhmm… You know, you don’t have to.”

Judging from the poorly packaged present, he did it himself within the insufficient time he had before Hyori eonni dragged him in.

“It’s just something old of mine. I think it suits him, I hope he’ll like it,” he jitters, and brushes the back of his head again.

He doesn’t look as annoying as before. I even think he looks cute when he gets nervous.

Wait! Pull yourself together, what’s on your mind?

 “I’ve gotta go. Eonni needs my help,” I say and escape from him, and from the ridiculous thinking I just had.

I’ve been looking for Clarence for a while now, his room, the backyard, the washroom, all shows no sign of him.

“Eonni, did you see Clarence? I’ve looked everywhere,” I ask worriedly.

Eonni lifts her head from the baby in her arm, feeding her with her another hand, “No. But I saw him with Seunghyun just now. He asked me to let you know Clarence’s with him, but I forgot. Sorry,” she says with an apologetic smile plastered on her face.

“Where they’ve been?”

“I don’t know.” she shrugs, “Clarence will be fine, Seunghyun will take good care of him,” she assures as I start fidgeting my fingers.

That’s not what’s on my mind. I mean, yes, I’m worried, but not because of Seunghyun. Somehow I know Clarence will be safe with him. I’m worried about those -kissers hired by my father. Seunghyun has no idea about the threat.

“Eonni, I’ll try to look around the neighbourhood,” I say as I dash out of the door.

I decide to start with the house next to mine, Seunghyun’s.

The gate is wide opened. I tiptoe in the house and find the entrance door is left ajar. Laughter burst upon my ears as I enter the house. I recognize one of the laughter, it’s Clarence.

“Clarence, honey? I ask in low voice, and they come into my sight.

“Mommy!”  Clarence exclaims cheerfully and gets up from the toys around him, running into my arms.

“Mommy, Uncle Superman’s awesome! He has the whole collection of DC Comics Super Hero!” he pulls me towards the toys, and Seunghyun’s sitting in the middle of them.

Uncle Superman???

I can't take my eyes off the so called toys on the floor. This guy must be a bearbrick manic, definitely a collector. Then I know where did he get that name from. Among all the bearbricks standing on the floor (yes, standing, not laying), there is a superman bearbrick, about half the height of Clarence, standing proudly as if the commander of his leagues of bearbricks. Beside the superman lies an unwrapped box. That's the box he gifted as Clarence's birthday present.

I bow slightly at Seunghyun, then turn to Clarence with a stern look on my face, “Clarence Lee, what are you doing here?” 

“Clarence likes my present, he asked if I’ve something else. So… I figured it’d be fine to take him away for a while, sorry,” Seunghyun chimes in.

I keep my eyes on Clarence, “It’s your birthday party, you do know that it’s rude to leave you guests unattended, don’t you?”

He holds down his head in guilt, before lifts it right back to look at me, “Uncle Superman is my guest too, mommy invited him to my party!” he claims in proud. He got me speechless.

“But you should have let me know, mommy’s worried,” my voice softened.

“I’m sorry…” he holds down his head once again.

“I’m sorry, I should have told you before I bring him here.”

I lift my head to where the voice comes from. Seunghyun’s standing right beside us since…. I don’t know when.

Still, I do not respond to him, and pull Clarence into my arms instead.

“You’ve no idea how worried mommy is… Just don’t do it again, okay?” I say as I try as hard I could to hold back the tears. I can feel Clarence nods in my embrace.

The party is over, the guests have left, except for Hyori eonni and her family. And Mr.Arro… Seunghyun as well. The kids are watching some anime on telly while the adults clean the place. I feel grateful to them, I told them that I can handle it on my own but they insisted.

I can go to sleep once I get rid of the dirty dishes piled up in the sink.

“Eonni, please go home, I really appreciate the help you gave, I can handle these on my own,” I say as I point to the sink, and push her gently out of kitchen.

“Are you sure?” Hyori eonni asks with her brows knitted.

“Yeah! I got this. Get some rest.”

“Alright. Thank you. We had fun today,” Hyori eonni says, before disappear from the front gate.

I enter the kitchen while lifting the sleeves of my blouse, getting ready for my final battle.

And I stop at the doorway, shocked by whatever is happening before my eyes.

What exactly is happening here? Why is the almighty TOP washing dishes in my kitchen? Didn’t he leave before Hyori eonni?

 I fake a cough as I approach him.

“Hey,” he takes a glance at me, and goes back to the dishes as if he’s doing the most normal thing.

“Why are you here?” This question sounds stupid, but that’s what I want to know.

“I thought I can help, that’s all,” he keeps his eyes on the dishes, hands busy scrubbing them.

“I can do it,” I try to take over his place.

“No, I’ll do it,” he says as he stands still on his spot, “But you can rinse them,” he continues before I could protest. I swear I could see smirk on his face.

I can’t tell why I’m doing what I’m doing. Or worse, I don’t know why I’m doing what he’s telling me to do.

But, yeah… He scrubs, hands it over to me, and I rinse. A rhythm forms between us without us knowing it. It feels like I’ve done this uncountable times with him, in fact it’s my first.

“I… I’m sorry for today. I mean, taking Clarence to my house… I should have told you first,” he breaks the silence. Both of us do not lift our eyes off the dishes.

I can’t help noticing he actually looks cute when he’s nervous. “No. I’m the one who should apologize.”

I take a deep breath, “You informed Hyori eonni. I guess I was just freaked out, I overreacted,” I decide to hide the real reason of my misbehaviour.

Silence surrounds us again as we continue scrubbing and rinsing, without saying a word.

“Where’s his father?” he asks nonchalantly.

I’m taken aback by his bluntness. The rhythm is ruined now.

I stay in silent, squeezing the plate in my hands. He stops scrubbing when he notices my hesitation. The atmosphere is suffocating. It’s dead silent, except for the water flowing.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pry. I…”

“It’s late, you should go,” I say as I dry my hands with a clean towel, and walk to the front door.

He follows me in silence.