SEUNGHYUN POV

“Hyung, are you ready?” Seungri’s muffled voice comes from under the pillow. When did I receive the call?

Reluctantly I pull my phone out, turn over to lay on my back. I lift an arm to cover my eyes as the blinding sunlight shines through the window. “Maknae, what do you want?” I growl through the phone.

“Hyung, Manager Hyung said you’re coming over today. Wait, Hyung, are you drunk?”

“I wish I’m drunk, jetlag is killing me you little piece of ! I just came back yesterday night, I need one day off. Now shut the up and let me sleep!” I hang up before maknae could say a word to convince me hitting the studio is much more beneficial to our group than sticking my to a bed.

Tossing the phone aside, I sprawl on the bed. I swear with all my bearbricks that I will just stay in here for the rest of the day, nobody can separate me from my bed.

“Yah, Clarence Lee!” I jolt straight up as the familiar voice makes a clean sweep of my sleepiness. Dragging my sore body, I walk out to the balcony.

“Gosh! Clarence! Stop it! It’s cold,” she shouts to her son but I can tell from her smiling face that she’s not angry at all. She holds her hands in the air, trying to stave off the water spraying from the hose his son is directing at her.

The grip of his little hands on the hose loosens up as Clarence cracks up in laughter, apparently enjoys having an upper hand against his mother. She takes the mere seconds in which his son is so immersed in his own laughter as her golden chance to seek revenge. She makes a lunge at him, almost grabbing the hose, but Clarence is faster to squeeze the hose’s pistol grip harder, sending out a mist of water towards his mother. The latter squeals but she manages to grab a hold on the hose anyhow.

Taking over the water hose, she crouches by him and feigns annoyance by pursing her lips. “Yah, that’s how you treat your mommy?” The scolded kid giggles, knowing the disguise of his mother. She lets out a fake sigh, “That’s how my son shows his gratitude for raising him,” she pinches his tiny nose gently, making him giggles even louder. “I love you, mom,” showing his most wonderful gummy smile, he wraps his arms around her shoulder.

She takes the tiny kid into her embrace, and both of them burst into laughter of joy and happiness. My heart grows warm at the sight, without myself knowing a smile cracks across my face.

Still trapped in her arms, he looks up and finally notices my presence. He exclaims, “Uncle Superman!” pointing his little finger at me. She pulls away and turns over to look to the direction of his finger.

I freeze at my spot, unsure of what to do or what to say, but the warm smile she sends to me melts everything away. She stands up, holding Clarence’s hand in hers while looking at me, “Are you okay? You look like ,” she chuckles and turns to ask her son, “Clarence, what does uncle look like?”

I raise a brow at her question, before I realise what is so unpresentable about myself, my buddy shoves the answer to my face by squealing happily, “Uncle’s hair looks like a bird nest!”

“Bingo!” They share a high-five before she smirks at me, “I wonder would the mother bird lay eggs on your hair, Seunghyun-ssi.” They burst in laughter once again.

Pouting, I brush my fingers through my morning hair. “You two teaming up now?” I should have seen this coming. Other than my dysfunctional brain, my morning hair that stick out in all directions every single time I wake up from my sleep embarrasses me the most.

They look at each other before doubling over with laughter. Despite it’s the blushing me they are laughing at, I can’t help but laughing along. She bites her lower lip to compose herself, “Sorry, we’ll make it up to you.” My brows knit together at her sentence. “How?” She puts a finger on , pretending to be thinking hard, “Hmm… What about… Coffee and pancakes?” I beam at her suggestion. She chuckles while shaking her head, “I feel like I have two kids.”

“I don’t mind being a kid if that guarantees coffee and pancakes,” something strikes me so I add, “And ice-cream!” Seems to be defeated by my answer, she simply says, “Let yourself in, we need to shower, we’ll be downstairs in a few.”

“You know what, I start to wonder are you my maid,” I chuckle as I look over my shoulder only to see a frowning Leena with her arms crossed over her chest. Shifting my attention back to the dishes in the sink, I utter, “Give and take. I get coffee and pancakes, you get a part-time maid, Ma’am.”

She huffs a laughter and walks over to my side, taking a plate I’ve just brushed and rinse it under water. I smile as the memory of us washing dishes together comes flushing over me. “Clarence’s asleep?” I ask softly, not wanting to break the comfortable atmosphere. She hums in response, “Jetlag, I guess he won’t be up in hours.”

We stay in silence as I brush the dishes, handing them to her and she rinses before drying them with a clean towel. Like husband and wife. I shake my head vigorously to wave the thought away. What am I thinking? Pull yourself together, Choi Seunghyun, you’ve known each other for mere months!

“What’s on your mind?” I’m taken aback by her question. “I was thinking we look like husband and wife, washing dishes together,” the little voice in my head answers. I’m dying to crack open my ed up brain to see if there’s any loose screw, or wires gone haywire in my brain.

“Nothing! I was just… Uh… a beat just came to my mind,” I smile sheepishly. “Wow! So you’ve been working on a new song?” she looks amazed.

Redness in my cheeks deepens. “It’s just something pops up out of nowhere, it’s nothing serious.” “That,” she arranges the last dish in the shelf, “Is what we call art.” I can feel heat rush to my cheeks at the wink she sends to me.

I follow behind her as she walks to the living room and slumps on the couch. I take the seat beside her. “You should write them down, whatever it’s in your mind, I think they’re good,” her expression changes, she’s all serious now, I can tell.

“And I thought you don’t like Big Bang, you said you never heard any of our songs, remember?” A smirk crawls over my face as my little brain is working hard on ways to make her listen to our songs. I can gift her a whole set of albums since we debuted. Or just rap to her everytime we meet. Or… Maybe I can start with the kid, he has swags.

“I… I listened to a few, and they’re good…” Her voice trails off, but I heard clearly what I needed to hear. “Good? Which one?” I raise a brow, looking at her expectantly. She fidgets in her seat, grabbing a cushion and plops it on her lap, clutching it with both hands. “Loser… Blue…. And…” she hesitates, but that only makes me eager to know. “And what?” “And the song you wrote for your ex-girlfriend,” her eyes looking at the cushion.

The memories of that night sweep all over me. We talked about the song. She asked me about it. What perplexed me the most was my reaction. Hell, I cried! I never opened myself to anyone since… Well, let’s not go there. The next day I woke up in my room, alone, eyes sore and dry for the outpour of emotions last night. We didn’t bring that up again, not until now.

But still, me answering her questions, telling her what happened back then confused the hell out of me as well. I was so not me! I seemed to have let down my guard that night. Or… She seemed to have broken through the wall I built around my heart.

“Hey,” she shakes my hand as I’m zooming out, too immersed in my own thoughts. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.” I turn to look at her, my face blank, the same goes to my mind. I need a moment to let the thought sink in. It’s undeniable that I kind of expected it to happen, but the fact that I opened up to her despite it had been just months after she first walked into my life still startles me.

“Seunghyun-ssi?” She squeezes my arm, a concerned look on her face. I decide to brush it off instead of pouring my feeling out on the spot and scare her away. I need to find a proper time to do that. “You know, Jiyong composed Blue and Loser, that’s two out of the three songs you mentioned,” I fake a sigh, “I still lose to that bastard.”

She looks relieved. Smiling, she hits me gently with her fist, “You don’t seem upset though.” I laugh genuinely, “I don’t. Jiyong’s a genius, I’d give him that.”

It looks like it’s the first time Jiyong’s name really gets into her ear although I remember telling her about all my members. “Jiyong…. as in G-Dragon?” she asks hesitantly.

Had him been here, Jiyong would definitely pout, even throw a tantrum. I laugh out loud, “Yes, the almighty G-Dragon, Jiyong sounds like him.”

I earn another punch to my arm, not that I mind the trifling skinship that makes me feel electrified. “Jiyong or G-Dragon, I think you are just good as the way you are.” My laughter ceases at her words, I turn to look at her, our gaze lock together, none of us speaks a word for minutes.

I can feel my heartbeat accelerates I repeat her words in my mind over and over again. “I think you are just good as the way you are.”  Strictly speaking it’s not a compliment but yet it has just sent butterflies flying in my stomach.

No no no, I can’t let her know I’m flattered by that simple sentence, she could have meant nothing at all. I put that bad boy smirk on. “So, you think I’m good?” She rolls her eyes, “What I was trying to say is, you can produce good music too, you shouldn’t belittle yourself, Seunghyun-ssi.”

I frown at the formalities. Seunghyun-ssi? Again? I’ve told her for like thousand times to drop the formalities and call me Oppa instead. But as stubborn as she is, she can’t seem to get used to it yet. Just when I’m about to correct her for the 1001th times, I choke on my words as I feel my groin buzzes. What the heck? It takes me a while to realize it’s my phone vibrating in the front pocket of my jeans. Brain, can you please function properly??!!

I send an apologetic smile to her before fishing out the phone. A glance at the caller’s ID on the screen elevates my temper. I slide over the screen, but before I could greet the maknae with my way, which may include “hell”, “”, “” and “”, his voice coming from the other end shoves any of the aforementioned words right back into my throat. “Hyung, I’m outside your house, I’ve been ringing the bell for like forever, where are you?”

“What are you doing outside my house?” I stand up and walk over to the front door, gesturing at her to open the gate for me. She nods and walks briskly to press a button on the wall next to the front door.

“The recording, Hyung, don’t you remember?” He whines through the phone when I lay my back against the open gate, glaring at the back of this blonde little piece of .  Still talking to him through the phone, “I remember something more important. I remember telling you I need a day off.”

As if sensing the daggers I stab in his back with my eyes, he stiffens and turns around. “Hyung~~” He puts on a shameless grin and walks towards me, spreading his arms wide. I hang up the call and stretch my hand to stop him from giving me his panda hug, not forgetting to send him my deadliest glare.

He pretends to get hurt by my ruthless demeanour, but it’s replaced by glittering eyes and ear-to-ear smile as soon as he spots Leena peeking gingerly from her front door.

He steers his direction to walk towards her, the over-ebullient smile still plastered on his face. Standing by the door, Leena seems fidgety, not knowing what to make of the uninvited visitor.

“Hi! We met at the café before, I’m Seungri, nice to meet you!” He stretches out his hand, the smile on his face spreads wider, if that’s even possible. I run towards them, prepare to drag the embarrassing maknae out of the scene, but Leena clasps his hand with hers before I reach them. “Nice to meet you,” she smiles feebly at the grinning panda.

Laying my back against the kitchen counter, I apologize to Leena who is making omelette at the stove, “I’m sorry, you don’t have to do this, I will drag him out once he’s out.”

“It’s alright, it’s just omelette,” she utters without looking at me, but I can tell she’s smiling. I frown at the scene before me. Somehow the idea of she making breakfast for another man upsets me.

Minutes ago, when I half forcefully shook his hand off from Leena’s, he turned to ask me, “Hyung, what are you doing in here? You said you had jetlag.” I suppressed the urge to punch the devilish grin he had on his face. “I feel better. And I need to eat, it’s not like you’d buy me breakfast.” He looked at Leena with his widened eyes, “You made breakfast for Hyung?” She blushed. I decided to chime in, “Ahjumma beside your house makes you breakfast too, maknae.” I was proud for coming up this indisputable excuse, but my heart dropped as her smile dimmed.

“Hyung! That’s different.” He turned to look at her with pleading eyes, “I haven’t had my breakfast too, Leena-ssi, can I join?” “Let’s go to studio, it’s late,” I headlocked him, dragging the struggling maknae towards the gate. Despite the strength I applied on his neck, he was able to beg for help, “Leena-ssi, help, Hyung’s killing me.” Who says Big Bang’s maknae can’t act? This sentence solely can earn him an Oscar.

Leena ran forward and blocked my way, stopping me in my track. “Seunghyun-ssi, studio can wait. Seungri-ssi must be hungry.” Sighing, I released the panda. She can’t reject Seungri’s puppy eyes while I can’t say no to her benevolence. Her caring and softheartedness just made me fall for her even more.

“I’m back!” Seungri announces his entrance as he marches in the kitchen. “What took you so long? You didn’t wander around the house, did you?” I whisper under my breath as he takes the seat beside me. “What? No, Hyung, I needed to use the toilet, that’s all!” I nod half-heartedly. “Hyung, don’t you think you’re being over protective?” It’s him to whisper into my ear. “Shut up.” I take a big gulp of the coffee she poured for me to hide my sheepishness.

When the plate of omelette is finally placed before him, I practically shove everything inside his mouth. “Bye, Leena, see you around,” I wave my hand at her, with my another hand dragging Seungri out the house with him still chewing.

I spent the whole day in the studio with maknae and Daesung. Everything went smoother than my anticipation. I was agitated ad distressed when Sajangnim told me that I’d be producing a song for them along with Teddy Hyung. I had produced a few before, but most of them was my solo so I didn’t give a damn about the result or how high it climbed on the chart. But this is different, it’s about my dongsaengs. As much as I hate Seungri, I do care about him. Nobody can torment them other than me.

Daesung and Seungri had done with the lyrics weeks before I was discharged, but they insisted that it had to be me to write the raps.

I didn’t work on it until this morning. I’d listened to the song for uncountable times in the past few weeks, but nothing seemed to come out good. I was shocked when the lyrics flowed out naturally today. I’d to admit that I’d had help. From the lyrics Daesung and Seungri wrote, the song’s about bittersweet love between a cocky guy and a poor girl in which a misunderstanding brought them together and as story unfolded they fell in love with each other. Yes, I was thinking about her when I wrote my raps, and words just came pouring out from my mind. This could be the raps I completed in the shortest time ever.

Spending a day in the studio gave me time to think as well. It used to be my haven before I enlisted. In those emotional nights, I’d rolled up on that long couch in the studio, locked myself up from the outside world. After I was discharged from the army, the studio became the place I avoided the most, for merely a glance at the couch would bring up all the dark memories, it’d remind me what a mess I was. Indeed, I was a wreck after the breakup. I spent days and nights in the studio, doing nothing but drank the out of myself. There were times I almost got into a fight with Jiyong.

The fact that the uncomfortable feeling and the agitation I felt everytime I went back to the studio seemed to disappear today shocked me like never before. I felt inexplicably excited and enthusiastic when the music blasted through speakers, electrifying my whole body. It’s a feeling I’d failed to recall since years ago.

“Hyun, you’re back!” Teddy Hyung patted me on my shoulder before I left. I smiled at him knowingly.

I blink my eyes as I pull myself back from my train of thought. Taking a sip of wine, I smile as I confirm a fact. I’m in love.

I’m not an idiot as I know the road before us wouldn’t be easy. There’re questions that I need answers, there’re obstacles that I’ve to conquer. I’ll not cower like what I did last time, I’ll fight, and fight like it’s my last day on earth I will.

“Dinner at my place.” My lips curl into a smile as I read the text from her. I didn’t know a sentence as simple as that can make my heart flutters. But now I do, it’s because the sender.

“Drop me at her house,” I inform the man behind the wheel. The man looks at me with his “gotcha!” look, “She made you breakfast, now she’s making you dinner? Just tell me already, are you two together?”

I shake my head in disapproval, I’m smiling though, “No, not yet.” “Not yet?” He asks with high-pitched voice and a knowingly smirk. “Not yet, but soon. So don’t you try to hit on her.” He fakes an exaggerated regretful sigh, “I think she’s cute, and I think she likes me.”

“Yah, maknae!” I glare at him. He laughs at my reaction before shifting his attention back to the road before him. “Alright, alright. It’s true that I like her, but the way she looks at you is different, Hyung. I can never win her over you.” I stare at Seungri in silence. The way she looks at me? Now that’s something I’m not expecting. How come he noticed it while I didn’t when I was the one who sees her almost on a daily basis?

As if knowing the hard time I’m giving myself, he asks in shock, “Hyung! Don’t tell me you didn’t know the feeling between you two is mutual. Are you really that oblivious?” A second later, he facepalms himself and mumbles, “You’re Bingu after all.” I retort, “Is that you telling your dead wish?” He holds up a hand in the air in surrender, “Just observe, Hyung. Look closer, look into her eyes. It’s pretty obvious.”

I look outside the window, not saying a word.

“I might lose my if I tell you this, but still as the maknae of our group, I’m obliged to tell you the risk of this and the consequences follow.” He glances at me to make sure he has my attention and he takes a deep breath. “This is not gonna be easy, Hyung.”

He doesn’t have to say it all, I know the consequences, I know too damn well and I’m saying this from my experience. I sigh heavily, “I know. But it’s a risk worth taking.” He hums and nods. “If anything happened, or you need help, I’m always here, Hyung.” He pulls over in front of Leena’s house and turns to look at me, putting a hand on my shoulder and squeezes it. I smile and nod in appreciation before I get off the car.

Doubtlessly he has grown up in the two years while I’m gone. Most of the time, he’s still the maknae and he forever is, he still fools around, cracking jokes and hitting on girls, but when it comes to matter as this, he seems to be more mature and thorough than me.

However, it doesn’t change my words. It’s a risk worth taking.

“There are consequences,” Seungri said. He might be correct, albeit not entirely. There are consequences that concern me and there are consequences I don’t give a damn. One of the former is my family.  My father is a former soldier who had devoted half of his life in serving the country. As for a relationship, he demands nothing but loyalty and he expects the same from us. I know he would grow fond of Leena. One down. My sister is a catalyst rather than an obstruction, she is so keen in making us a match. I didn’t know what happened in Australia that made them as close as they are now, or perhaps they just clicked by nature. Two down.

The only knot left is my mother. How do I put it? Let’s just say my last relationship did not get her blessing. She said it was terribly wrong. She said I’d hurt myself and the girl. She was right. But she held me in her arms when I broke down, whispering “It’s alright, I’m here, my son”. At that moment, I knew when my heart broke, her heart broke with mine.

That’s the reason for sending them to Moreton Island and I didn’t show up until days after. I want them to get to know each other. The result was beyond my expectation. Clarence worried me the most for he couldn’t converse flawlessly in Korean and for my mother understood very little English. But there was one day I entered the house my mother’s staying in, she was listening intently as Clarence strenuously translating the procedure of cooking a Western cuisine on a tv programme. I saw the smile on her face, and that lifted a burden off my heart.

My instinct told me that I’d get my blessing from her.

Now that all the obstacles between us are taken out of the way, the final touch would be confirming our feeling.