“Belly ouch!” Soonie complained with tears in her eyes. As well as being impressed and surprised at how much better she was at communicating than he had originally thought, he couldn't help feel for her poor belly. Those tears of hers were pulling at his tear ducts, seeing if they couldn't get something to fall out. He could feel panic's sneaky fingers trying to catch a hold of his insides. What if there was something really wrong with her? Didn't they have to go to the doctor to make sure? 

. If they went to the doctor, this would have all been for nothing. And what was to stop them from charging them with kidnapping? Nothing. They were up to their eyeballs with incriminating evidence, practically swimming in it. He scolded himself for being so weak, for having given in to those two pairs of irresistible puppy eyes, Soonie's and Seunghyun's. He had opened Big Bang up to possibly the biggest scandal of the century. As the leader he should have known better. How did Seunghyun always manage to persuade him to do the stupidest, most reckless things? It was like Seunghyun was the kryptonite to his rational thought. 

“Aigoo, are you hungry? You want to come with Seunghyun oppa to the kitchen to get something to eat?” Seunghyun asked softly with his hand stretched out towards her. Hunger! Why hadn't he thought of that? Of course, the poor thing hadn't eaten anything all day. They really had no business taking care of a baby, the two of them. Not even managing to keep her clothed and fed, they couldn't cater to her most basic of needs. He got a flashback of all the wilted, dead flowers that he had once tried to nurture, always dropping the ball eventually, letting them die on his watch. Keeping a real life baby alive was infinitely more complicated. 

He watched as Soonie's tiny little hand disappeared into Seunghyun's big manly one, carefully leading her to the kitchen while holding her hand. He could see he was being as gentle as he possibly could, walking half bent down so Soonie wouldn't have to reach too high, gingerly guiding her in the right direction. Jiyong couldn't help but giggle to himself over how impossibly cute they were. Seunghyun was acting like an insecure but very caring newbie father. He really should have a kid one day, Jiyong thought. It suited him. 

It was the first time Jiyong felt bad about his suspicions about Seunghyun being gay. Gay men in Korea had a hard time coming out, getting little or no recognition by society, so what hope did they have to start their own families? He felt a sudden pang of anger towards the injustice of it all. How could the world condemn a person only for their choice of bedroom buddies? It was beyond irrational. Who he slept with had absolutely no effect on his talent and ability to do his work. It didn't define his character nor alter his judgment. It was only a matter of physical attraction and the random landing of Cupid's arrow. 

“Oppa?!?” Jiyong repeated incredulously after having followed the duo, taking a seat at the kitchen counter. “Even grandpa would be closer to the truth, but appa is probably the best fit. Appa Seunghyun.” he snorted, sticking his tongue out at an appalled Seunghyun. He was clearly not itching to take on the role of grandpa.

Seunghyun crouched to meet Soonie's eyes. “Soonie-boo, don't believe that crazy old man, just ignore him and do as oppa Seunghyun says.” he patted her encouragingly on the head. “Okay?” he probed, dramatically nodding his head, decorating his face with such a charming smile that it could mesmerize even the most hardened of criminals. If he was indeed playing for the other team, that smile had probably turned a straight boy or two gay for the night, it was that powerful. 

And fail it didn't. “Okay.” Soonie nodded under the spell of Seunghyun's powers of persuasion. Jiyong had no chance against those two cutie pies over there, and if you couldn't beat them, the only thing left was to join them. He picked Soonie up, placing her a bit awkwardly on his lap. “So Seunghyun oppa, what is on the menu for tonight?” he smirked, giving him a playful wink to . 

“Hmm, what do these creatures eat in their natural habitat?” Seunghyun said pensive, like he was thinking out loud. 

“Food?” Jiyong suggested like he was being super helpful, pulling his phone out to google what kind. Surely she was big enough to have graduated from feeding, right? 

“No .” Seunghyun gave him an ironic 'ha-ha' face as he opened the fridge to see what their options were. “So I've got beer, some shaky sushi..” he smelled it skeptically, “nope, it's okay still! Hah, who would have thought?”. He smiled like he was making a mental note to eat it later.

“Hmm.. apple juice, white whine, kimchi, a raw steak, broccoli and some frozen green peas. That's about it I think. Tomorrow's grocery delivery day, so the night before it's always a bit empty.. heh..” he scratched the back of his head a bit embarrassed. 

“Oh, hey, here it says you can throw pretty much any vegetables and fruits together into the mixer to make homemade baby food.” Jiyong suggested, having stumbled upon some baby blog forum. 

“Really? Broccoli and green peas, mixed into mush?” Seunghyun crinkled his nose at the thought. It made Jiyong chuckle, his expression showed such sincere disgust one would have thought he was the one who had to eat it.

Seunghyun filled the teaspoon with the chunky green goo from the mixer bowl, all the while an intense frown darkening his handsome face. He tried smelling it, clearly regretting it the moment the stench reached his nostrils. “Man, I feel seriously bad for her, I can't force her to eat this foul toxic waste-like substance.” he confessed, his eyes traveling back and forth between the spoon and Soonie's innocent little face. “Nope, not a chance. I bet it even glows in the dark! And soon, she will too! I can't be responsible for turning her into some radioactive freak, you do it!” he said decisively, shoving the spoon into Jiyong's hand. 

Ah, what a drama queen, he thought, nonchalantly bringing the spoon up to Soonie's lips that closed the instant she realized this poison was meant for her. “Aaa.” Jiyong opened his mouth and waved the spoon in front of her, using it to gently try prying her lips open to unload the mountain of healthiness the spoon was holding. “Mm, mm!” she complained, closing even tighter, bolting it shut. Hell would freeze over before she would allow that thing entry.

“WWwwwrrrrreeeeeeooooooonnngggg.” he made the spoon fly theatrically in the air, before directing it to its target destination, fort Soonie. But fort Soonie was impenetrable, threatening to send out its armies if these attacks wouldn't stop.

“What the hell?” Seunghyun snorted.

“Come on! Don't teach her bad words, that'll be like the only thing she'll get from us, bad manners and a grumpy sailor's vocabulary, going on to flunk out of school, hitting the streets and ending up as the first female head of the Seoul mafia.” Jiyong complained. “Cuz she's smart like that.” he added, bouncing her lightly on his knee with a proud smile hiding behind his lips. 

“Sorry, sorry... didn't know I had the power to appoint the future boss of the third most dangerous mafia in the westernized world... hmm, I should really start exploring the boundaries of my talent further.. maybe I can solve world hunger with my vocabulary too.” he retorted in a mocking tone. “Seriously though, what was up with that spaz session of yours, did you have a seizure or something? Are you alright?” he laughed, patting his shoulder.

“Ya! Like you didn't know it was a first generation subsonic fighter jet, it was obvious!” Jiyong objected, a little hurt. It really had been a cool plane sound, the least Seunghyun could do was acknowledge it.

Seunghyun laughed heartily at his comment, partially making up for his ignorance earlier. The sound of his deep, hoarse laughter tickled his gut, so Jiyong couldn't resist joining him, sniggering quietly while exchanging knowing looks with him. It had been way too long since they had just hung out like this. Well, it was definitely their first time hanging out with a baby, but like just the two of them, outside of work, outside of the group dynamic. He had missed this. The banter, the inside jokes, teasing each other to emphasize how comfortable they were with each other and simply having a good time, enjoying each other's company.

“Try tasting it, showing her it's good.” Seunghyun dared him, evil anticipation taking over his expression. As Jiyong took the dare, preparing to put this thing to rest and proving it was not the poisonous result of some government conspiracy that was out to get them, it was just food. Food you ate and that was that. 

As the smell danced around his nose before the spoon had the chance to take the final plunge into the abyss that was his mouth, he realized why Soonie was acting so stubbornly. It smelled like half digested puke, turning on his gag reflex. Had the peas gone bad? There was no way he could eat this.

“Fine! I fold!” Jiyong declared, throwing his hands in the air. “Yay!” Seunghyun sang, picking Soonie up and taking her for a victory lap, dancing with her around the kitchen. She screeched happily, relieved to be rid of the awfulness that was their first attempt at homemade baby food.

“So Sooboo-ya, what do you want to eat?” Seunghyun asked her, his voice all soft and fluffy, bouncing off every syllable. 

“Cheelo.” she responded with out a second thought, munching on her index finger.

Jiyong snorted. Seunghyun was cute to expect a coherent answer from a one and a half year old. 

“Oh, she's my kind of girl!” Seunghyun declared ecstatically. What? Had he actually understood what that meant? Or was he just yanking his chain?

“Lo and behold, let there be cereal!” Seunghyun opened a huge cabinet with theatrically dramatic movements, like he was revealing the lost jewels of the Joseon dynasty. Jiyong's jaw dropped, this was one cabinet he had never seen before. It was filled to the top with cereal boxes, possibly having every kind of cereal sold in the entire universe, though alien cereal would be hard to come by, he expected, but when it came to Seunghyun and his fixations, who knew?  

Seunghyun let her touch and smell a few different boxes to help her make a decision, there were just too many choices. After some deliberation, she finally settled on a brown chocolaty looking one. “Wait, doesn't that have a ton of sugar in it? I've heard that might not be the best thing...” he hesitantly warned them. 

“Oh, please, what's the worst that could happen? Loosen up, man.” Seunghyun waved his caution away with one hand, putting the box of cereal on the table with the other. He had a bad feeling about this, but didn't want to be a spoil sport and there wasn't like they were drowning in other options.

After eating almost two full bowls, Soonie appeared to be satisfied, starting to play with the rest of the loops instead of eating them. 

“What's up with the cereal cabinet?” he smirked. 

Seunghyun shrugged, “I don't know, I just kind of started out wanting to taste all the different kinds that they had in my local store, then I happened to go to another store and that one had a new kind, so somehow the idea of collecting all the available kinds in Korea got into my head, sort of a project. Then I went to Japan, and they've got some weird cereal delights there, so yeah.. before I knew it I had this collection going. It's really fun, actually.” he grinned sheepishly. 

“And you don't even mind that she's eating your collection?” Jiyong was genuinely surprised, and a little impressed. 

“Oh.. heh.. I only gave her the local ones as options.” he chuckled in embarrassment. “It just, some of the other ones are really difficult to get, so even I eat them sparingly.” he tried explaining. 

“I get it, and I don't think she cares whether her cereal comes from the local store or the moon, pretty sure it's all just cereal to her.” Jiyong chuckled, hopefully easing his conscience. 

Soonie was almost cross eyed from concentration, carefully picking up the tiny loop between her pudgy thumb and index finger. It took a few tries with the first one, but she quickly became an expert. It wasn't long until she picked one up and threw it on the floor, for no apparent reason, looking to Jiyong for a reaction. What the?

“No! Soonie, no!” he looked her straight in the eyes, pulling his eyebrows down so he would look mad. She picked up another one and watched him for a bit. He shook his head in warning, but she threw it on the floor anyway. He was speechless. She was deliberately disobeying him, taunting him. She was just a little kid, and already she was a criminal mastermind?! Maybe mafia boss was her actual goal, he wouldn't put it past her. 

“No!” he pointed at her as she grabbed yet another chocolate loop. In her defense, that one didn't end up on the floor, instead she threw it straight at him. “Are you seeing this?” he asked in a pleading tone, hoping Seunghyun would come to his rescue. 

“It's only cereal, let her play.” he smiled with a twinkle in his eye. 

“Eeem, it's not you that she's throwing cereal at! And if we don't do something, won't she become more and more difficult to deal with?” Jiyong wondered worriedly. 

“Fine, I'll do something.” Seunghyun conceded, looking at Soonie. He reached for the loop she had in her hand, taking it away from her. Jiyong sighed with relief, it felt good to know he had his back. Going head to head with a tiny little monster like that was surprisingly scary. Soonie picked up another one, and still Seunghyun took it away, collecting them into his hand. 

Then, out of the blue, it started raining chocolate loops all around Jiyong, some hitting his forehead, his cheeks, one even went down his shirt. He was so taken off guard that his mouth fell open, a chocolate loop finding its way in there as well. It was quite delicious, but Jiyong had other fish to fry right now. Soonie was rolling around in a laughing fit on Seunghyun's lap, Seunghyun relentlessly throwing cereal at him. 

This was war. Jiyong scooped up a bunch of loops, making a strategic counter attack. Seunghyun swiftly grabbed Soonie and disappeared under the table. Hah! It was going to be pretty hard for him to hide with that little laughing bag following him everywhere, Jiyong thought, amused. This war was his for the taking. 

Seunghyun came out from behind the refrigerator door waving a sheet of white kitchen paper as a signal of surrender. He had opened the fridge to hide behind, leaving the inside of the fridge decorated with cereal. Much like the rest of the kitchen. He took a step forward, a familiar crunchy sound declaring his socks a casualty of war. 

“Wait, where's Soonie?” Jiyong suddenly realized she was nowhere to be found. They exchanged a brief look and ran to the living room. She was running towards the television, her lack of balance threatening to end everything in her path. 

Her screeches and hearty laughs had filled the house for the past hour or so. High on sugar, she ran round and round, cleverly evading their every attempt at catching her, having the time of her life. Granted, they weren't trying very hard since both of them got a kick out of seeing her so excited. 

In the end Seunghyun tackled her softly to the ground, tickling her half to death. Jiyong, wanting to join the fun, revenged her by tickling Seunghyun so hard he could hardly breath. They rolled around all three, forming an entangled human ball, laughing and teasing each other until they didn't have a drop of energy left. 

After a brief pause to catch her breath, Soonie stood up once again, running away. But this time the ground failed her miserably. Luckily the diaper cushioned her fall, but they both held their breath, waiting for the tears to explode. Jiyong could almost hear his own heart beating. When nothing happened, Seunghyun sighed in relief. But it had been too soon. 

“Omma!” Soonie wailed as the first tears made their debut.