Jiyong poked his muffin listlessly, trying to hide how miserable he was. They were at some posh new café having brunch. Usually he loved trying new places, but today his heart wasn't in it.

“How long have you known?” he asked Youngbae, not able to stop himself from feeling left out.

“Long time. Since before debut.” Youngbae smiled softly.

“Does anyone else know?” he asked with hesitation, hoping Youngbae was the only one.

“Ehh... Daesung...” Youngbae confessed, “...and Seungri.” he added.

“You ALL knew?!?!? All this time?!?!” he was shocked to the core.

“And he asked you to come talk to me? With him not even here...” he could feel how the disappointment shot through him like multiple ice needles, freezing everything they touched, the last one hitting his heart. It stung.

“Oh, come on, you know Seunghyun. Avoiding confrontation is something he has turned into an artform.” Youngbae chuckled quietly, looking at him with sympathetic eyes.

“He wasn't afraid to confront you when he told you!” he pouted like a mad five year old. He didn't care if he was being childish. He was hurt. It was not enough that he had a boyfriend he had never told him about, he also didn't trust him enough to tell him that he was gay, when he had told everyone else around him! That was a betrayal that ran deep. He thought they were best friends. He had confided in Seunghyun every time he had a serious problem. But apparently Seunghyun didn't feel the same.

“Well.. he didn't really tell me, I just kind of found out...” Youngbae took Seunghyun's side.

“And Daesung, and Seungri??” he added in a huff.

“Seungri caught him in the act one time, so we actually had to sequester him until he promised with his life that he would never ever bring this up ever again.” Youngbae chuckled.

“And Daesung?” he pushed impatiently.

“Him he actually told.. Daesung is a vault, nothing that you tell him ever comes back out so I guess he felt comfortable enough telling him, I don't know.” Youngbae watched him with concerned eyes. So he told Daesung, and not him. Why? Why did he feel he couldn't tell him? Did he really think he would just run to the next tabloid to tell the world on him? Did he think he was some crazy homophobe that would throw him out of the band the moment he found out? Why? Why???

He felt Youngbae's hand on his shoulder. “It's okay, you know.” he said very quietly, as if he was talking to a scared deer that might run away any second.

“What?” he retorted, annoyed. What exactly was so okay? That Seunghyun was gay? Sure, that was okay. But it was not okay that he didn't trust him enough to tell him. Not in the least. He could feel a clump of tears getting stuck in his throat, slowly making its way up.

“...that you like him.” Youngbae told him in the sweetest of tones.

He froze.

“WHA...!?!? Wha... what are you TALKING about??! Me?!? Like who...?!? “ he barely managed to cough out a painfully unconvincing objection. Youngbae had caught him off guard. How did he know when he had only just figured it out himself?

“Ji...” Youngbae's eyes called him on his bull, his hand squeezing his shoulder lightly.

He sighed. He could feel his heart give up. He was too hurt and exhausted to keep up pretenses.

“But he likes someone else...” he whispered.

“Ah, I'm not so sure about that.” Youngbae peered his eyes and giggled softly. “Do you know how much trouble he went to when he planned your date night a while back? And he even got us involved and everything. I'm pretty sure there's something going on... that's not just basic friend behavior.”.

“...and look at who he's dating!!” he added in disbelief.

“A really, really drop dead gorgeous and talented handsome guy that's younger than me... gee, thanks for pointing that out to me.” Jiyong retorted, inadvertently taking his jealously out on Youngbae.

“Ehm.. and how often has Hanbin been called G-Dragon Junior in the media? He's dating a replica of you!! If he can't have you, he's going for the next best thing!” Youngbae explained enthusiastically.

When he came home, Seunghyun acted like nothing was out of the ordinary. Like it was just another Monday. He didn't ask how it had went with Youngbae. He didn't mention Hanbin. He didn't say anything. Yet the atmosphere said it all. It was as if the floor had turned into a field of eggshells, and Seunghyun was walking around trying not to break them. Was he that afraid of him? What did he think he was going to do to him? It was heartbreaking, really. He could handle him having a boyfriend. He could even handle him not loving him like that. But he could not handle having their countless years of friendship being erased overnight. Like it had all meant nothing.

That night he just lay in the dark, listening to Seunghyun breathe. He went through all the moments over the years where he had been so thankful to have Seunghyun by his side. They were too many to count. He refused to believe they didn't mean anything to Seunghyun. There had to have been a reason. Something that was holding him back. He tried hard to find an excuse to hold on to, but he could think of nothing.

He thought about his newly discovered feelings. How could he be for sure that they weren't just some fleeting over-interpretation of their deep friendship? Wasn't he just curious? Was it worth it to risk their friendship? And if he did risk it, would Seunghyun want him? Would he want him enough to leave Hanbin?