Jiyong collapsed onto the sofa, exhausted after battling the cookie monster at dinner, who kept throwing her perfectly good food on the floor or in his face, roaring with laughter. He had tried to be the grown up and scold her, but she was just too cute with that tiny eyesmile of hers, he couldn't help but laugh with her. He really loved that little monster, she was his little ray of sunshine. And it was her that had made them a family. A real family. His very own little family. He might have borrowed it, but it still felt like his own.

Seunghyun hadn't come home until after dinner. He didn't ask him where he was or who he had dinner with. He didn't want to know. That was a lie. Every cell in his body burned with the need to know. But he was too afraid of what the answer might be. He was just thankful that he came home at all. That was enough. That had to be enough.

But Seunghyun didn't ignore his dad duties either, giving Soonie one of their famous 'let's destroy the bathroom' baths. Seunghyun always got to do the fun things. But he was good at them too. Better than him. Jiyong never used to be able to just relax and take it easy. His mind was always filled with responsibilities. But little by little, Seunghyun was teaching him how to let go once in a while and just enjoy the moment. And it felt nicer than he could have imagined.

A tiny pajama panda worked hard to climb up into the sofa. Jiyong chuckled. She was exactly like a silly panda, clumsily falling over for no apparent reason, in the panda-onesie Seungri had given her. Seunghyun threw himself on the sofa next to him, pulling poor panda-Soonie up into the sofa, so she could join them. She let out a loud sigh of accomplishment.

“You didn't even climb up yourself!” Jiyong shook his head, giggling. Soonie wrinkled her eyebrows, pouting at him angrily.

“Come here you little panda cub you!” he grabbed her and tickled her until she was roaring with laughter. Seunghyun chuckled hoarsely. Ah, his deep voice never failed to give him butterflies. But these were thorny butterflies, and each of them stung.

Like a boss, Soonie claimed the remote, changing the channel faster than the television could receive the signal. Both Jiyong and Seunghyun were long since accustomed to this ADHD way of watching television. It was actually a great way to just shut off your brain and  put it in mong-mode, watching the images rush by without thinking much about it, since there was no way to actually keep up. 

This was simply a normal family night, there was nothing really special about it, except it felt special to Jiyong.

After a while, Soonie got tired and crawled into Jiyong's lap, making a little panda nest. She had almost drifted off, when she woke herself up and reached out her little fingers, grabbing Seunghyun's sweater and pulling as hard as she could on it. Her nest needed them both, to be complete. An overwhelmingly warm feeling took over Jiyong's chest. He was swooning big time. She so had him in her pocket, her little panda pocket, and he knew it. He was not the only one occupying her pocket, though. Seunghyun could never say no to her, so he scooched over, sitting so close to Jiyong that their shoulders touched. As well as the outer edges of their thighs.

Jiyong was painfully aware of every single spot that was touching Seunghyun's body. He scolded his heart for being stupid enough to be fooled like this. Seunghyun was just doing it so Soonie could lie down on both of their laps. He didn't even seem to notice that they were touching. He was so used to it, that it didn't even register with him. Jiyong's heart sank. Jiyong wasn't used to it, he couldn't get used to it. His feelings were growing every single day. He was usually bad at growing things, he could never keep a plant, sooner or later he would  go into work-mode and forget to water it for days, not noticing it until it was too late. Why did he never forget to water his feelings for Seunghyun?

Seunghyun's arm twitched. It was falling asleep. Seunghyun tried gently adjusting it, attempting not to disturb the sound asleep panda-Soonie, but he couldn't find a comfortable position. So he pulled his hand up and casually put it around Jiyong. Jiyong swallowed a gasp as his insides imploded. It was the quietest explosion never heard. Seunghyun's arm had created a faint gust of wind, filling his nostrils with Seunghyun's smell. He felt himself become intoxicated. How did he always smell so good? He fought a strong urge to cuddle up to him and lay his head on his broad shoulder, snuggling up to his neck and giving it a soft peck.

He had almost caved, giving in to his desire, when there was a knock at the door. They exchanged surprised looks. Who could it be at this late hour? Jiyong's stomach churned. He could think of one gorgeous candidate. He was not going to be the one to open the door for him. No way. He didn't have the confidence to not punch him right in the face. Director Yang would have something to say about him leaving a mark on his brightest hope for the future. He would at least have to explain himself, but the green monster that lived inside him had to remain secret from the world.

When Jiyong didn't move, Seunghyun carefully moved the sleeping Soonie into Jiyong's arms and went to get the door.

“Please don't be Hanbin, please don't be Hanbin.” Jiyong whispered to himself.

“Ehm... Ji...” Seunghyun came back into the living room, alone. He looked like somebody had slapped him, extremely hard, concussion hard. Did something horrible happen? Or did Hanbin break up with him? He didn't want to be the kind of person who hoped for the unhappiness of others, but he couldn't help but hope it was the latter.

A young, timid girl appeared in the door, tip-toeing behind Seunghyun with her head hung low. Soonie, who had been startled awake by Jiyong's reaction, jumped off his lap and ran into the girl's arms. Hugging tight, they both giggled with happiness.

Giggles were the furthest thing from Jiyong's mind. He couldn't move. He was frozen in time. This. This was the moment he would remember as the worst moment of his life. Soonie's mom. Soonie's mom had come for her. He couldn't breathe.

“Thank you so so so so so much!!” the girl did a 90 degree bow with Soonie clutching to her like a baby monkey. “I am so indebted to you that there are no words strong enough.” she said in a thin, high-pitched voice. Her eyes were full of tears. “I'm a die hard fan, VIP for life!! I just knew you were as incredibly amazing human beings as I always imagined you were. I knew you would step up and save my little girl from losing her mother.” her voice cracked, tears running down her cheeks. “I had no other choice. I really had no other choice... else I would have lost her for good, they would have taken her away from me... I'm so sorry, you don't know how sorry I am, but I was desperate.”.

Even though she was standing right in front of him, Jiyong couldn't believe what he was seeing was real. He didn't want to. When two months had come and gone, and there had been no sign of her, he had selfishly started to hope she would never come back. But he knew that was not in Soonie's best interest, so it wasn't really what he wanted. Or that was at least what he told himself.

The door closed.

Soonie was gone.

Forever.

It took a while to sink in.

They had been up in arms, trying to gather all of Soonie's favorite toys and snacks in total chaos. After a short and awkward conversation with her mother, making sure she was really out of trouble and could take proper care of Soonie, offering to keep her longer if she needed, making her promise to be in touch, they were forced to say goodbye. Soonie didn't understand why they weren't coming with her. She had held out her pudgy little hands, calling out their names in her cute little baby voice, “Ji!”, “Tabi!”, breaking their hearts over and over again. She started crying as she disappeared out the door in her mother's arms.

And they just stood there, in a stupor, watching the closed door in front of them.

She was gone.

She was really gone.

The quiet started eating away at Jiyong's heart until he broke down and fell to the floor, crying hysterically. Seunghyun took him in his arms, sitting down on the cold floor, trying to console him. He held him, tighter than he had ever held him before. It was almost too tight, all but crushing his bones, but Jiyong couldn't really feel it for the gaping black hole of pain that had opened in his chest. It was swallowing everything inside him, leaving only hurt behind.

He cried and he cried.

He howled in agony.

The avalanche of tears didn't just rush out through his eyes, but his nose as well, with great force.

He cried until there were no more tears, until his head hurt so much he couldn't think, until his stomach turned inside out, threatening to make him vomit.

And then there was nothing left. Nothing but soul-, mind-numbing, brutal, ruthless pain.

Seunghyun patiently held him without saying anything. He just held him.

Jiyong stared into space, sniffling heavily.

He had lost everything.

“Come on, let's go inside.” Seunghyun whispered softly, but Jiyong didn't budge. He had no energy and no reason to ever move again.

“Now I've lost you both.” Jiyong's voice quivered, he was crying dry tears.

“I'm right here.” Seunghyun squeezed his arm.

“No, you're not...” he looked him accusingly right in the eyes. He could feel his face was red and swollen from all the crying, his mouth permanently stuck upside down.

Seunghyun's eyes popped wide open in surprise. And then he peered them, as if trying to figure him out. They had an unfamiliar insecurity about them, desperately searching for something that would make Jiyong's statement make sense.

There was an awkward silence.

“Then... where am I?” Seunghyun's voice shook considerably.

“At Hanbin's side.” he avoided eye-contact, finding a spot on the floor with which to start a staring competition.

Seunghyun's mouth fell open. He wrinkled his eyebrows and scrunched his nose, like he was trying to understand the incomprehensible. He took a deep breath and swallowed with difficulty.

“Do you...” he hesitated. “Do you want me to move over to your side?” he said in a near whisper.

Jiyong's breath got caught in his throat, forming a lump that kept him from saying anything. He just nodded, not daring to look at him.

Seunghyun let out a deep sigh.

It wasn't a good sign.

Seunghyun's index finger found Jiyong's chin, gently lifting his head up so that their eyes met. Jiyong had never felt as vulnerable.

Seunghyun bit his lower lip. “To be honest, I don't live at Hanbin's side, I just borrow it from time to time. I'm not sure I belong at anyone's side. I'm a person that needs to be lonely. I know it might not make much sense to you, but when I have someone I love next to me, I become very nervous and restless. It has just always been like that. I think I'm just the type that can't enjoy happiness or stability.” he earnestly confessed.

Jiyong's heart deflated like a week old balloon, wrinkled and depleted of energy.

He had been right. He had lost them both. He shouldn't have been so foolish to cling to what sliver of hope he had thought he had. He shouldn't have confessed. How was he going to face him from now on? So embarrassing.

“...but for you... I'll try.” Seunghyun said with determination after a long pause.

“What? ...wait... really?” Jiyong just blinked, stupefied.

Seunghyun snorted and pulled on his chin to bring their faces closer together. They were so close, Jiyong could smell his breath. It smelled enchantingly sweet.

Seunghyun was looking into his eyes, making him feel like he was completely . He hadn't felt so embarrassed and vulnerable since... ever. But that was because he felt like, for the first time, Seunghyun could really see him. The real him. The 'scared to lose his best friend, but excited to bring their friendship to a whole other level' him.

Neither of them dared to make a move. There was only an inch of air separating their lips, but it could just as well have been an entire valley. It felt like such a big deal, taking the first step. They couldn't really undo it, no U-turns allowed. But in a way, they had already taken it, it was too late to back down now.

Jiyong took a sharp breath and lunged forward, his lips pushing up against Seunghyun's. At first, he couldn't believe he had actually done it, freaking out. But then Seunghyun's lips moved, he was kissing him back! Jiyong's heart got its second wind, re-inflating itself and racing like there was no tomorrow.

As their lips intimately entwined, Jiyong could feel himself lose grip on reality. He forgot everything but the kiss. Seunghyun wrapped his arms softly around him, pulling him closer. Jiyong's arms acted on their own accord, sliding around Seunghyun's sturdy back. He could feel his muscles subtly moving under his fingertips.

The kiss deepened, passion taking the lead. They just couldn't get enough of each other, the built up chemistry between them exploding in a rain of pretty fireworks. Jiyong had never felt anything like it. It was even better than the feeling after a well executed concert, listening to the fans chanting their names. And that was saying a lot, for that was Jiyong's favorite thing in the whole wide world. Or now it was his second favorite thing. 

Eventually, they were forced to come up for air. They both giggled awkwardly, beaming happily at each other.

This was it, Jiyong thought.

He was the one.

He was home.
 

The End

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A/N: This is the official end of the story, buuut there are two bonus chapters in the works, one epilogue type chapter, and one chapter (don't get too excited, I'm not very good at writing hahhaha >.<). It ain't over till it's over :) So for those who want to have a little sneak peak at life after the end, there will probably be a wait for an update as usual, but the chapters will come, sooner or later. 

I want to thank you all for finishing this long and eventful journey with me.
Thanks so much for the good company and all the support ♥♥♥
I totally fell in love with these two sillybillies (as well as Soonie) and I'm going to miss them an awful lot (hence the extra chapters kkk I'm not ready to let go juuuust yet hahaha). It took me 4 years to complete it, with a lot of blood, sweat and tears going into it. I had so many wonderful moments while writing this story, and some difficult ones too, and I hope you enjoyed it half as much as I did!! Because that would be a lot kkk XD

This is my first long multi-chaptered story (over 12 chapters) that I have managed to actually finish, YAY! A moment for the history books! I'm going to try and complete some more hopefully in the near future. I'm like a tortoise, I take a looong time getting where I'm going, slowly taking one step at a time, but I still finish the race, just in my own time haha ;)

Thank you again ♥