~*~

Chapter XIII

End of the Storm

6월 18일

Dongwoo was heading out of his parents resturant with Infinite’s manager, Jungwook, beside him.  He was used to going anywhere with at least one of the managers beside him to help him through the crowds of fans that were around more than usual. 

On the streets on the short way to the van, fans crowded around him, handing him presents and calling out good wishes. 

Dongwoo gave them small smiles, trying to greet each of them. 

“Oppa, are you okay?”

“Yes,” Dongwoo said with a smile.  “I get strength to continue from you.”

Everyone started to talk over each other, making it hard for Dongwoo to hear anything except for one thing. 

“Didn’t he smoke?”

Dongwoo’s brow furrowed and he turned around.  “What do you mean?”

The girl looked stunned, but spoke up again, “Lung cancer is caused by smoking, isn’t?  So he must have smoked.”

“He didn’t smoke,” Dongwoo said with a small frown.  “He wouldn’t do anything that would compromise his health.”

“Then you should’ve made up a better story about his death,” someone spoke up from behind him.   

It took him a moment to realize the fan’s words before he turned around, trying to find that one fan in the crowd.  “What do you mean?  How can you say that we made up a story about Myungsoo’s death?”

The crowd murmured, speculation about the other fan’s words as Dongwoo stood stunned, unable to speak.

“You made up a story about Myungsoo to get the attention of the press,” someone else burried in the crowd accused. 

At that acusation, Dongwoo nearly wanted to throw himself at the fans and punch the fan, but he held himself still, his hands clenching and unclenching to calm himself as he spoke, “Myungsoo is a good person,” he hissed out between clenched teeth.  “He never smoked in his life.  He would’ve done anything if it meant that he could survive.  We did not make up a story about his death.  He’s dead.  He’s gone.”

Everyone had gone silent and it was only Dongwoo talking, tears running down his cheeks.  “Myungsoo was a good person and I wish that you would respect his memory by not saying that we frabricated a story about his death.  He died.  He’s dead.”

It was still silent when suddenly Jungwook came up behind Dongwoo, holding a warm arm around his shoulders. “Thank you for your concern,” he announced to the crowd.  “It’s time for all of us to go home.”

Without another word, Jungwook lead Dongwoo out of the crowd, pushing away anyone who came near.  First he opened the door for Dongwoo and basically shoved Dongwoo into the front seat, slamming the door behind him.  Dongwoo fell limp in the seat, protected by the tinted windows of the van as Jungwook walked around the van to the driver’s side, pushing away fans as he went. 

Dongwoo didn’t speak through the rest of the ride and neither did Jungwook until they arrived back at the dorm.  Jungwook stopped the car with a sigh as they saw the crowd of fans out in front.  It took them a little while to get through the crowd, Jungwook’s hand on the small of his back as Dongwoo tried his best to accept the gifts that were handed to him. 

Jungwook didn’t relax until they were safely in the elevator, heading up to their apartment. 

“Hyung,” Dongwoo finally said.  “It’s okay.”

Jungwook smiled a bit. “I know it’s been hard on you.  I’m sorry that you need to go through this.”

“You’re going through this with us too,” Dongwoo said.  “Hyung, why don’t you go home to your girlfriend and take a week off, we’ll be okay.  Let’s just all take a few days to gather ourselves.”

“I’ll come check up on you every day though,” Jungwook said.  “So take care of yourselves.”

Dongwoo smiled at him as he got off the elevator.  “See you later, hyung.” 

When he got to the apartment, the others were quietly doing their own things – Woohyun and Sunggyu were watching something on TV, Sungjong and Hoya were Sungjong’s room together while Myungsoo and Sungyeol were no where to be seen – so Dongwoo just put the food from the Inspirits in the fridge and headed into his room. 

As he entered, he stopped cold as he saw someone else sitting on his bed. 

“Myungsoo?”

Myungsoo turned around, giving him a smile.  “Hey, hyung.”

Dongwoo stumbled to sit down on the bed beside Myungsoo.  “What are you doing here?” he asked quietly. 

Smiling, Myungsoo scooted closer, squating behind Dongwoo to massage his shoulders.  “It’s hard to watch all of you stuggle and not being able to help,” he explained. 

“I missed you,” he whispered as Myungsoo’s fingers worked his tense shoulders. For the past week, it hurt so much to think of Myungsoo, but he never thought that it would hurt to see Myungsoo again. 

For a moment, Myungsoo stopped before he replied,  “Me too.  More than you could ever know.”

Dongwoo wanted to turn around, but Myungsoo’s warm hand stopped him.  “If you look back, I’m not going to be here,” he whispered.  “So don’t turn back yet.”

Closing his eyes tightly, Dongwoo had to ask, “Why?”

“Because that’s how it’s going to be.”

Slowly, Dongwoo lifted his head and looked at the mirror across the room.  Both he and Myungsoo were reflected in the glass and he could feel the dip of the matress where Myungsoo was sitting, but as Myungsoo had said, Myungsoo wouldn’t be there if he turned around.  Myungsoo looked just like he did when it was yesterday, his dark hair falling over his eyes, nearly covering the dark intense stare from his eyes.  Still when he smiled, just like he was doing now, there was the same dimple on his cheek, making him look happier then maybe he was.

It was so good to see Myungsoo like this.  There beside him and... alive.  It was good to see him alive. 

“You okay, hyung?” he asked as he caught Dongwoo staring at him through the mirror. 

“What?  Yeah, I am,” Dongwoo said.  “You?”

The smile that spread across Myungsoo’s face was one of the biggest smiles that Dongwoo had ever seen as he nodded quickly.  “Hyung, I’m happy,” he said.  “I’m able to fly where ever I want.  I feel happy.”

“At least that’s one of us,” Dongwoo accidently let slip. 

As the smile started to fade off of Myungsoo’s lips, Dongwoo regreted his words. 

“Hyung, you promised,” he said.  “You said that you were going to smile and laugh without me.”

“It’s so hard,” Dongwoo whispered, looking down at the ground.  “It’s too hard.”

The bed shifted and Myungsoo’s legs came beside him, but still Dongwoo kept his eyes fixed on the floor, afraid of making Myungsoo disappear. 

“Hyung, please smile just a bit, look into the mirror everyday and smile just a bit, okay?  The others need someone to smile a lot.”

Dongwoo laughed slightly, looking up at the ceiling.  “Please don’ tell me that.  If you tell me that, I’ll feel worse every day that I can’t smile.”

Myungsoo hesitated again.  “Hyung, close your eyes for a second,” he whispered. 

Closing his eyes, he held his breath as Myungsoo stood up in front of him and took his hands, helping him stand up.  He could feel Myungsoo’s warm hands they walked forward a few steps. 

“Hyung.  I know that you can smile.  Even if it’s for a moment, please smile for me.”

Dongwoo hesitated, still keeping his eyes tightly shut, knowing the moment that he opened his eyes, Myungsoo would disappear. 

“Hyung.  It’s just going to be for one moment, please smile at me.  I need to know that you’re going go to smile while I’m gone.”

“If I open my eyes to see you, I’m going to cry,” Dongwoo said.  “I’m not going to able to smile.”

“You will.  Because the Jang Dongwoo I know smiles with that smile that made me feel better when I was feeling sad.”

Barely supressing a sob, Dongwoo tried to find the strength to smile when he opened his eyes.  Myungsoo’s warm arms wrapped around Dongwoo’s shoulders, making Dongwoo relax into his farmiliar embrace. 

“Hyung.  You hold so much brightness in you, please let it free.  A smile will set anyone free.  I’m part of the brightness, any time that you smile, I’ll be right here with you.”

As Myungsoo let go, he cleared Dongwoo’s face of his tears.  “Hyung...”

Quickly, he shook his head, sensing what Dongwoo wanted to say.  “I’m not ready to do this,” he whispered. 

“Yes you are.  You are.  Please Dongwoo, let me free.  Give me wings one last time.”

Relaxing in Myungsoo’s warm grasp, Dongwoo whispered, “How?”

“Just one last smile before I have to go.  Just one more time.”

Shakily, Dongwoo slowly lifted his head so that he would be looking face to face with Myungsoo.  “Will you... leave...?”

“I have to,” Myungsoo whispered, rather bluntly, his voice lined with sorrow. 

But Dongwoo nodded.  “Myungsoo, before you go...”

“Yeah?”

“I’ll smile for you.  Don't worry about the others.  I’ll take care of them.  And... I love you so much.”

Dongwoo opened his eyes slowly.  Just like he said, Myungsoo was right in front of him, smiling slightly.  A smile spread over Dongwoo’s lips slowly as his eyes searched Myungsoo’s face for the purpose of memorizing it so he would never forget.  Myungsoo smiled at Dongwoo’s little smile with a little chuckle, his laughter contagious until Dongwoo was laughing and grinning with him. 

“Hyung thank you for everthing,” Myungsoo whispered on last time.  “Thank you for setting me free.”

Still smiling, Myungsoo leaned forward and carefully ran his fingers down Dongwoo’s face, closing his eyes.  “Thank you for my wings,” he whispered in Dongwoo’s ear.   

Dongwoo smiled into the darkness of the back of his eyelids as Myungsoo slowly drew back, his warm hands leaving his cheeks.  

“Open your eyes.”

When Dongwoo opened his eyes, he only found his reflection in front of him, wide eyes with a large grin and a tear stained face. 

Forcing his lips upwards, somehow he found himself smiling even brighter. 

“A smile will set anyone free.”

Smiling once again, he knew that Myungsoo was set free.

And he was too. 

~*~

Sungjong lay on his back, looking up at the ceiling.  He listened to the others as Sungyeol and Hoya came back home at nearly the same time and Dongwoo came home with other presents from the Inspirits.  At the thought of food, Sungjong was nearly tempted to get up to eat, but he still just lay in his bed, staring up at his ceiling. 

He sighed and stood up, deciding to do something to make the time go faster.  Sungjong sat down at his desk and started organizing it.  Before Myungsoo’s death, Sunggyu had bothered Sungjong to clean his desk, which was getting messier with each passing day. 

Not bothering to look very closely at the papers, he swept the first layer of papers into a drawer before he picked up his battered notebook of songs, running his fingers over the cover.  It was filled with song lyrics and sheet music. The notebook was well worn, pages had fallen out and Sungjong had tucked some other pieces of paper he had written on inside the cover.

Sungjong had been working with the notebook since their debut, but he hadn’t shown anyone it.  The notebook was a place where the thoughts in his head came to life, a place where he clearly forbid any one to read it.  The others had realized that when Dongwoo had accidently picked it up and opened it and Sungjong screamed at Dongwoo for looking in it.  They all didn’t look in the notebook after that, knowing that it must be important to Sungjong for him to explode at his nicest hyung. 

Sungjong sighed quietly and placed it on the side of the of the desk to look at later.  As he moved the notebook to the side, it uncovered a picture underneath. 

He recognized the picture, Myungsoo had posted it on Twitter in 2013 when they were in Japan.  He had took the picture of them during a fan meeting from the back.  Their bodies were sillhoetted by the stage lights as they greeted the Inspirits.  Sungjong picked it up and sighed.  At the bottom of the picture, Myungsoo had wrote something, just like he always does. 

I’m always going to be here with you.  We’re always going to be seven when we’re on stage.  We’re always going to be Infinite.

Sungjong choked back a sob and closed his eyes tightly.  He didn't want his tears to ruin the picture, but as he opened his eyes, another wave of tears poured down his face.  Sungjong screamed in anguish, his fingers holding the picture so tightly that it started to rip, the paper gave away and the picture ripped into two. 

“Stupid.  Idiot.  Stupid.  I hate you,” he whispered, clinging onto the pictures as if it was the only thing left.  “I hate you.  Why did you have to leave.  You promised me…”

He nearly missed his phone ringing with a text message, but he saw the screen die after the notification of the text.  Trying to wipe away his tears that were still falling down his cheeks, Sungjong unlocked his phone and looked at the missed text messages. 

Myungsoo-hyung: Sungjong-ah, come out and meet me, okay?

Sungjong gasped and looked around, wondering who could’ve sent the messsage. 

Myungsoo-hyung:  Please belive me, hyung, just this once.

And Sungjong did. 

~*~

“Hyung?”

Near their dorms, there was a outdoor stage for performances.  A couple of times, Infinite had performed there.  Sungjong remembered getting up onto the roof top at their old dorm to listen to the concert a few blocks away, promising to each other that someday, they will be the stars that would be performing there. 

Today, the stage was completely empty.

Except for one person. 

“Hyung?” Sungjong repeated.

Myungsoo looked down from where he was standing on the stage and smiled at Sungjong.  “Hey, Jjongie.”

“How... what...” Sungjong stammered.  “How did you even...”

Still smiling, Myungsoo didn’t reply, only walking across the stage. 

“Hyung, I don’t think we are supposed to be here,” Sungjong said uneasily as he followed Myungsoo, walking in front of the stage. 

He shrugged.  “We’re going to borrow if for a little while.  Come on up,” he said, jerking his head towards the stage. 

Closing and placing his umbrella on the edge of the stage, Sungjong jumped onto the stage and stood beside Myungsoo, not sure what to do, but Myungsoo gave him a big smile.  Sungjong smiled back and looked over the emtpy chairs.  It was strange to see the place empty.  When they were there, it was usually at least half full during the rehersals and packed tightly during the performances. 

“I’ve lost track of how many times we’ve been on stage together,” Myungsoo said wistfully as he followed Sungjong’s gaze. 

Sungjong nodded as they looked around the empty auditoriom.  “I can’t believe that you’re not going to be coming back…” Sungjong whispered. 

“I am coming back,” Myungsoo said. 

Sungjong turned to look at Myungsoo.  “What do you mean by that, hyung?”

Myungsoo closed and opened his eyes a couple of times before replying.  “I’m going to be back, even if you don’t see me now, I’m going to be right here with you when you perform here again.”

Sungjong shook his head, tears pooling in his eyes again.  “It’s not going to be the same without you, hyung,” he said.  “When we have our next comeback, you aren’t going to have parts, the fan chant won’t include your name, we won’t be introduced the same way… and you’re not going to be here with us.”

Myungsoo looked down at his feet.  “I’m going to be in your heart,” he whispered. 

Sungjong snorted, sitting down on the edge of the stage.  “That’s the most cliché statement that I’ve ever heard coming out of your mouth,” he said, trying to sound sour, but a smile spread across his lips. 

Laughing, he sat down next to Sungjong, close enough to feel his body heat, but not quite touching.  “Well, it can’t be seven if there’s only six, right?”

Sungjong smiled, remembering the moments that they promised the Inspirits that they would always be seven, they would be together forever along with their fans.  “That’s right.”

Smiling back, Myungsoo leaned back on his hands.  “It’s been raining a lot today.”

With a sigh, Sungjong glanced over at Myungsoo’s profile as he spoke, “The skies are crying for you, aren’t they?”

“No, I’m part of the skies and I’m crying because I left you behind.” Myungsoo closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he continued.  “I’m crying because I want you to be happy, but you aren’t realizing that yet.”

He looked over at Sungjong, tears glistening in his eyes.  “Sungjong, promise me that you’re going to be happy.”

Sungjong’s hands stopped their movments on his thigh.  “Then hyung needs to promise me that you’re not going to leave.”

“I did,” Myungsoo said.  “I already promised that a long time ago.”

“It’s not the same,” Sungjong said quietly, playing with his hands on his lap. 

“Sungjong-ah, look at me.” Sungjong returned his gaze reluctantly.  Myungsoo’s dark, piercing gaze felt like it cut straight through his heart.  “Sungjong, then look at me and promise me that you’ll believe this: I’m going to return to you some day and sing with you and Infinite again.  Believe that every time you’re on stage.  I’m up there with you singing no matter what.”

He closed his eyes, the only way that he could avoid Myungsoo’s gaze.  “It’s going to be so hard though,” he whispered.  “It’s so hard…”

For a moment, Myungsoo didn't reply.  “I know it is, but it’s going to be okay.”

A tear running down his cheek, Sungjong laughed.  “You’re such a stupid idiot, you know that, right?”

Laghing with him, Myungsoo said, “You’ve been reminding me that for the whole afternoon.”

Sungjong smiled and opened his eyes again, finding Myungsoo’s tear filled eyes in front of him.  “Hyung, then you tell me that you’re coming back.”

“Sungjong… you know that I can’t…”

“Promise me!” Sungjong nearly yelled.  “Promise me because the thought of you coming back to me is keeping me sane.  I don’t want a world without you.  I want you to come back.  I don’t care how long it’s going to take for you to come back, I just need you back.”

It was Myungsoo’s turn to look away.  “I don’t want you to be believing in a lie like that.”

“But it won’t be a lie,” Sungjong said, his voice raising in desperation.  “If hyung says it’s true, it’s the truth.”

When Myungsoo didn't say anything, Sungjong continued.  “Anyways, hyung, if you don’t promise that, that doesn’t mean that you’re going to be there on stage with me.  And you said that you’ll be up there on stage with me no matter what.  Hyung doesn’t break his promises, does he?”

Myungsoo laughed and raised his hand to wipe away the tear on his cheek.  “Thank you, Sungjong.  Thank you for everything.  I’ll come back soon.”

“You did promise me,” Sungjong whispered, tears falling down his cheeks. 

“It’s all going to be okay?” he checked, his dark eyes searching Sungjong’s warm eyes. 

“It’s going to be all okay,” Sungjong whispered, new tears filling his eyes. 

“Sungjong, don’t cry, it hurts me when you cry,” Myungsoo said sadly. 

Sungjong let out a choked sob.  “It’s still raining, that means that you’re crying too…”

Myungsoo shook his head.  “Don’t worry about the rain, it’s going to stop soon.  It’s been raining too much, it’ll stop.”

He sighed as Myungsoo’s warm fingers brushed against his cheeks.  “It’ll come again though.”

“It will.  Just like me, I’ll be back with the rain.”

Sungjong smiled, closing his eye for a second.  “You’ll be back.”

Myungsoo’s warm breath brushed against his closed eyelids as he leaned forward, pressing an affectionate kiss on his forehead.  “Of course, I promised.”

Sungjong wanted to stay there forever, even if it was on an emtpy stage, waiting for the guests to arrive, but he was with Myungsoo and he felt safe.  That’s all that mattered to him. 

But moments don’t last forever.  Myungsoo stood up and extended a hand to Sungjong to help him up.  “It’s time for you to go,” he whispered gently. 

“I don’t want to,” Sungjong mumbled, looking down at the floor. 

“I know,” Myungsoo said, his voice filled with sadness.  “But it’s time.”

Sungjong nodded, not letting the tears fall.  “Okay…”

Myungsoo smiled and handed the umbrella to him.  “Remind Howon that it’s okay on rainy days.  Tell Sungyeollie that I’ll listen to him sing everyday if he sings for me.  And also to Sunggyu-hyung that the stars are brighter when he smiles.  I think it will be enough to just tell Woohyun that I saw you and talked to you.  Tell Dongwoo-hyung that I’ll be flying home soon.  And tell all of them that I love them so much.” 

“Okay…” Sungjong said, nodding slowly. 

He placed his hand on his cheek, running his thumb across his cheek.  “Sungjong-ah... I want you to tell Sungjong that it’s all going to be okay,” he said quietly.  “That isn’t a lie any more either, it’s all going to be okay.”

Sungjong studied Myungsoo’s face, not wanting it to slip from his memory.  “Okay… I will.”

Myungsoo smiled sadly.  He seemed to be battling with something inside before he gave in and leaned forward, giving Sungjong a tight hug.  “I’m sorry that I had to leave you,” he said quietly into his ear, gently brushing his back. 

“I know,” Sungjong said simply.

Myungsoo finally drew back and helped Sungjong off the stage.  “I’ll be watching over you,” he promised, still sitting on the edge of the stage. 

Sungjong smiled, looking up to make up for the height difference from the ground to the stage.  “I love you, hyung, I’m going to miss you.”

“I love you too,” Myungsoo said, smiling happily. 

With one last squeeze on his hand, Myungsoo let go of Sungjong’s hand and stood up, walking backwards, father away from Sungjong and onto the stage.  “Go now, Sungjong, I’ll see you later.”

Sungjong nodded, slowly backing away, his eyes never leaving Myungsoo’s.  “Bye, hyung.  I’ll wait… we’re going to wait for you.”

Sungjong turned around and hurried out of the seating area, quickly wipping away a tear.  Just before the stage dissappeared from view, Sungjong looked back. 

Myungsoo was still there, singing and dancing on the stage.  His voice floated through the air, singing a sweet, vaguely familiar tune.  Myungsoo spun around, his arms out from his sides and his laughter filled the air. 

Sungjong smiled, letting out a laugh too.  “You’re such a stupid hyung,” he said quietly.  “I’ll miss you.  I know that you might not be coming back, but I’ll wait.”

He turned around and hurried down the street, walking farther away from Myungsoo and closer to the future.

~*~

The loud chatter from the other five members greeted him as Sungjong closed the door behind him, leaning the umbrella against the wall. 

“Hey, Jjongie!” Sungyeol yelled from the kitchen.  “Come eat supper with us.”

Sungjong looked into the kitchen, all of the others were there already.  Dongwoo was attacking the package of fried chicken they had ordered in, Woohyun fighting with him for a fair share of the chicken.  Hoya and Sunggyu were at the sink, making something else to go with the chicken.  Sungyeol pulled out the chair for Sungjong,  pretending to brush off the dirt for him. 

Sungjong grinned.  “I’ll join you, I just need to change from this.”

“Okay.”  Sungyeol held up an okay sign and turned to Woohyun and Dongwoo to rejoin their argument about the chicken. 

He closed the bedroom door behind him and slid down the other side, sighing happily.  Sungjong looked up at the ceiling.  “I wish you were here with us, hyung,” he said.  “We’re having fun.  I hope you’re laughing too.”

As he stood up to head back outside, a breeze swept through the window and something rustled on his desk.  Sungjong turned around and saw his notebook of songs lying open on his desk. 

Sungjong looked down at the notebook, smiling as he saw something written there.  It was the same song that Sungjong had heard Myungsoo singing when they left the stage. 

Music was the calling they all shared, they united as seven boys with big dreams to become something more than they were before.  Myungsoo was forced to stop his journey, but Infinite would carry his dream forever. 

To Infinite:

I wish on a star tonight,

Please give me wings to fly

So I can sing with angels forever.

I’ll be okay, I’ll be safe and happy 

I’ll be brave, so don’t worry.

I will come home to be with you soon.

I stood upon a hill,

Stared up at the blue sky,

And drew a lovely person from my heart

I want to fly up to the ends of heavens,

Touch the breeze on the air

And whisper with the winged angels.

Wish on a star,

Be brave,

Fly forever,

Be happy. 

My angels,

Live forever. 

A photo was tucked into the spine of the notebook.  It was the same photo that Sungjong had ripped in two earlier, but now it was mended, as if it was never ripped in the first place.  But the words that Myungsoo had written were smeared out by tears and replaced by new words.

Infinite, I love you. 

Sungjong smiled and tucked the photo back into the book, closing it gently. 

“You’re a stupid idiot.”

Sungjong looked out the window once more and smiled as he listened to the pattering of the rain on the window. 

“I’ll miss you…”

He turned away and joined Sungyeol, Dongwoo, Woohyun, Hoya and Sunggyu in the kitchen.

The sun broke through the clouds, shining down on them again and all of them were happy once more.   

look at this.  We only have two more chapters left here ㅠㅠ i'm missing this so much already.  

Thank you for the subs and comments and upvotes, you guys are so lovely.  I love you guys.  

See you next week.  ^^