I hope this chapter is not too out there for your guys... i really do hope that you'll like this chapter arc.

~*~

Chapter XI

Singing with the Stars

6월 18일

The sun set over Seoul for the seventh night since Myungsoo died.  Their days were spent hiding out in the dorm or surrounded with security guards.  All the extra security was starting to feel suffocating, although Sunggyu knew that it was for their safety, who knew what would happen if they wandered away alone.

Any time that they stepped foot out of a safe place, they would be crowded with fans and press.  Sunggyu knew that it was only for their concern, the fans would be handing them gifts and letters, but any time Sunggyu saw one of them, he was just reminded again that Myungsoo was dead and it hurt even more.

Sunggyu sighed and grabbed his jacket.

“Sunggyu-hyung, where are you going?” Woohyun asked as Sunggyu started towards the door.

He paused, his hand on the doorknob.  “I don’t know.  Just somewhere.  Somewhere out of here.”

He stepped out into the hall, shrugging his jacket over his shoulders.  What he really wanted was to go out of the building, preferably to a bar with some friends so that he could forget all of things that were resting on his shoulders, but that would be impossible.  Sunggyu really needed some comfort, but he had to settle for the next best thing: being alone.

Sunggyu stepped into the elevator and found his hand moving to press the roof button. The elevator rose smoothly up, the numbers rising until it showed a R.  The cold air brushed against Sunggyu’s face as he stepped out into the cool, crisp air of the roof.

Sunggyu spun around in a circle, looking up at the stars he could see over the city lights.  Under the smell of comforting home, the smell of the city and humid air, he could smell the promise of rain.  He hoped that it wouldn’t rain, he didn’t need the sky to cry for Myungsoo too.

He stood by the edge of the roof, looking over the edge to the streets below.  It was nearly 2 in the morning and there were only a small crowd of press and fans at the main doors of the building.

The roof was a regular place for him to visit.  He liked looking down at the small people running around on the street below and trying to imagine what their lives were like and if he was one of them down below.

What if he was one of those people down there?  Would he still have all of his dongsaengs?  Would he even know any of themm? 

He sighed and sat down against the edge surrounding the roof, looking up at the stars.

“Sunggyu-hyung…”

He turned around, expecting Sungjong or Hoya, but no one was there.  He sighed and moved to turn back to the stars, but someone called his name again, “Sunggyu-hyung.  Over here.”

Sunggyu turned around and nearly fell down in surprise as he saw someone sitting on the edge of the roof, looking comfortable despite the cold night winds. 

It was Myungsoo.

“Myungsoo?  What are you doing here?  Get off the roof, you’re going to get hurt.”

Myungsoo smiled at him, but didn’t move.  “Aren’t the stars pretty today?” he asked, looking up at the stars.  “すごいね?”

Sunggyu blinked in surprise as Myungsoo suddenly switched subjects and language.  “What?”

But Myungsoo smiled softly and replied, “All of the hours hat we spent learning Japanese goes through one ear and out of the other.”  He let out a happy sigh, looking back at the stars. 

“Myungsoo?” Sunggyu whispered.  “Can you get down from the ledge?  You’re making hyung worry.”

Even so, Myungsoo shook his head. 

“Then I’m getting up there with you.”

“No!” Myungsoo yelled, making Sunggyu stop in his tracks.  “I’m sorry, hyung.”

“Why?”

“The moment I touch you, I’m going to disappear,” Myungsoo whispered. 

“Then why are you sitting on the edge?” Sunggyu asked, worried that Myungsoo would fall off. 

“Because if I don’t, I’ll hug you and disappear forever,” Myungsoo answered, giving him a small smile.  “Don’t worry, hyung.  I can’t fall.” 

“Everyone falls,” Sunggyu said quietly, leaning against the edge of the roof a few meters away from where Myungsoo was sitting on the edge. 

Myungsoo didn’t reply to him, just looking down at the ground 60 floors below them.  He truly wanted to not believe that Myungsoo wasn’t standing there, that he was standing there as if he was alive… but he couldn’t be alive, he had died… but he was there.

“Myungsoo?” Sunggyu asked quietly, looking over at his lost dongsaeng. “What are you doing here?”

Myungsoo paused.  “I’m here because I made a wish on a star,” he said slowly.  “I wished to come back and spend a night with you.  So that’s why I’m here.  Let’s spend the night together, no mentioning the fact that I died.  It’s just a night with us together, okay?”

Sunggyu nodded slowly.  Myungsoo was always the one who listened to him the most, he was the one who had given him the least trouble as he always had listened to what Sunggyu had to say.  Maybe because Myungsoo listened to him was the reason why Sunggyu decided to listen to Myungsoo now.  “Okay,” he whispered.

Myungsoo smiled as if he knew that Sunggyu would agree to him.  They sat on the roof, watching the stars move around them, talking about the stars above them.

Sunggyu shivered.  Was Myungsoo really here or was it just a ghost?  It had to be a ghost, but he looked so real. 

“Are you cold?” Myungsoo asked as he saw Sunggyu shived beside him.  He pulled off the blanket he was wearing around his shoulders and held it out to Sunggyu.  “Take it so you can be warm,” he prompted. 

“But you’ll be cold.”

“It’s not cold here,” Myungsoo said his smile not disappearing, but the happiness in his eyes fading a bit.  “Take the blanket.  I don’t want you to be cold.”

Sunggyu reached out, but for a moment, Myungsoo pulled his hand back.  “Hyung, if you touch me, I’ll disappear.  Don’t let me disappear just yet.”

When Sunggyu nodded, Myungsoo reached out with his blanket again, letting Sunggyu take it to keep warm.  As Sunggyu held it, he could smell Myungsoo’s warm scent and still feel Myungsoo’s body heat from it. 

As he wrapped it around himself to keep warm, Sunggyu looked over at the younger, watching how his eyes fluttered as he blinked, how his breath came out in little puffs of mist.  It hurt so much to see him there, alive and well.

“Myungsoo…” he whispered, his voice breaking.

He looked down from the stars, his eyes glistening with knowing.  “I thought you agreed to not talk about this,” he whispered.

“But I need to know,” Sunggyu said, desperation crawling into his voice.  “Are you real?  Is this a dream?”

Myungsoo didn’t answer.  The silence between them, the silence in the night, stretched on forever.  Sunggyu wished that he could kill the silence and make Myungsoo sing again so that he would know that his silence wouldn’t last forever.

“Myungsoo?” Sunggyu whispered. 

“Yes?”

“Did you find a star?” Sunggyu asked, quietly.  “Did you find a star to stay at?”

Myungsoo smiled and nodded, tears in his eyes.  “I did, hyung, I found one.”

“Where is it?” Sunggyu asked, sitting up a bit higher.  “Tell me where it is, then I’ll be able to look up at you and talk to you every day.”

“Hyung, you’re 27,” Myungsoo said gently.  “You’re not five.”

“Still, tell me,” Sunggyu demanded.  “I want to be able to find you someday.”

A shaky smile spread over Myungsoo’s lips.  Suddenly, he got off the edge of the roof and took a step forward towards Sunggyu. 

As his hand reached out for Sunggyu, Sunggyu pulled back slightly.  “You said that you would disappear if you touch me,” he whispered.

“If I get to hug you at least once more, it’ll be worth it,” Myungsoo answered.  “I’m not going to disappear forever.  I’m in the stars, hyung.  I’m okay.”

Sunggyu nodded slowly, this time not flinching back as Myungsoo reached forward.  Gently, Myungsoo placed his hand on Sunggyu’s chest, right where his heart was. 

“Right here,” Myungsoo whispered.  “My star is right here.”

Sunggyu grabbed Myungsoo’s wrist before he could pull away and held him in a warm hug.   “Hyung loves you so much,” he whispered. 

“I love you too, hyung.”  Myungsoo’s voice was small as he replied, his voice filled with sadness and regret.  “Goodbye, hyung.”

As he pulled away from Sunggyu’s embrace, taking a few steps back regretfully, Sunggyu called out after him, “Are you going to come back?”

Myungsoo looked up at the sky, his eyes reflecting the stars and the clouds above him.  “It’s going to rain soon, get inside soon.”  Myungsoo looked back at Sunggyu and smiled.  “I’m not leaving you.  I’m going to be right here with you.”

“Myungsoo-yah,” Sunggyu mumbled.  “I’m going to miss you so much.”

A ghost of a smile on Myungsoo’s face was shadowed by his tears in his eyes.  “The stars shine forever, hyung,” he said.  “I’m going to be right here beside you, forever and always.  I’m going to shine next to you.”

Myungsoo’s words echoed in his head, fading into the background.  Sunggyu closed his eyes, a cold tear falling down his face.  Myungsoo’s voice kept on echoing in Sunggyu’s head and he knew that for a long time after, he would still hear Myungsoo’s voice telling him that he was going to be there with him and always those words would give him a little bit more hope to keep on fighting.

“I’m never going to forget you.  I love you,” he whispered softly, knowing that those words would always be true.  There was no way that he was ever going to forget or stop loving him.  Sunggyu opened his eyes and looked up.

As raindrops started falling on his head, he was alone.  

Just as Myungsoo had said, he disappeared after he touched Sunggyu, but even knowing that Sunggyu looked around, hoping that Myungsoo was still there somewhere, and the blanket Myungsoo had given him fell down around him.

He picked it up shakily, breathing in the last scents of Myungsoo before the rain washed it away.

The cold rain seemed to wash away a bit more of his grief again and he started a new.  Sunggyu wrapped the blanket around him, crying into the corner of the blanket as the rain started to fall down around him.

~*~

Myungsoo was right there.  Right there in front of him.

Sungyeol let the papers that he was holding in his hands flutter down to the ground as Myungsoo smiled at him.  He was practicing in one of the vacant recording studios at Woollim, just wanting to do something normal in the storm of not-normal he was caught in.  Even though it was early in the morning, around five thirty, but on normal days, Woollim would’ve already been busy with trainees schedule or Infinite working on their next comeback, but it was absolutely quiet.  He thought that he would be alone so when the door opened, Sungyeol looked up surprised.  Woollim was a small company and with Myungsoo passing away, it hit the company hard, one of their biggest stars were gone, so most of the company was on a small break, but it wasn’t one of the Woollim employees. 

But now, Myungsoo was standing there. 

Myungsoo stepped into the room, patting down his damp hair from the rain outside.  He waved at Sungyeol through the glass window seperating the recording booth and the sound booth and turned to put down his jacket on a chair.  Sungyeol tripped over a music stand causing sheet music to scatter on the ground as he hurried towards the glass window seperating them, his eyes not leaving Myungsoo. 

“Myungsoo?”

“Hey, Sungyeollie,” Myungsoo said with a smile. 

Sungyeol turned around to run out of the recording to hug Myungsoo, but Myungsoo stopped him with a, “Don’t.”

Pausing, Sungyeol turned back.  “What do you mean?”

“We can’t,” Myungsoo whispered.  “It only can be like this.”

Sungyeol stepped forward so that he was standing in front of the glass window that septerated them from each other.  “Why?”

Myungsoo shrugged, leaning over the control panel so that he could get closer.  “I don’t want it to be like this, but this is how it has to be.”

“Don’t leave,” Sungyeol begged quietly.  “Stay here with me.”

“Even if that means you stay in there forever?”

“You can slip me food under the door,” Sungyeol said, a weak attempt to joke.  “Please don’t leave me.”

Myungsoo’s smile was filled with tears.  “I can’t promise that,” he whispered.  “I’ll stay as long as I can.”

“No!  You can’t leave me ever!” Sungyeol yelled, tears running down his cheeks.  “One of the people who believed in me like this. I can’t sing without you, I just can’t!”

Even with the incoherent sentences, Myungsoo understood what Sungyeol meant.  “Lee Sungyeol,” Myungsoo said firmly.  “You’re one of the most beautiful singers that I’ve heard.  Even if you can’t hear it, it’s the most wonderful thing here.”

Sungyeol scoffed and wipped off his tears.  “As if.”

Myungsoo shook his head and reached down on the panel.  “It’s true.  Let’s sing a song together.”

Ignoring his protests, Myungsoo chose a song.  “I’ll sing the first part, then it’s you.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but Myungsoo already the music.

마주하고 싶지 않아 [I don’t want to face]

그 어떤 아름다운 이별도 [Any kind of beautiful seperation.]

Sungyeol started to laugh as Myungsoo started to rap his part in ‘Cover Girl’.  Myungsoo grinned at him and continued.

언젠간 떨어지겠지 [Someday we will grow apart,]

다신 볼 수 없겠지 [We won’t see each other again.]

이런 얘기하기엔 짧지 love journey [It’s too short of a love journey to say this.]

Myungsoo nodded at Sungyeol and he scrambled to find his footing in Dongwoo’s rap.

탁 트인 길거리에 수많은 [Passing over the countless doorways that say]

문턱도 다 넘을 “love is pain.” [“Love is pain” in the open streets.]

혼자 간다고 다 될 일이 아닌터라 [Going by myself is not the solution]

어색하게 잡은 손 네거야. [The awkwardly held hand is you.]

Myungsoo clapped and laughed danced to the beat.  Sungyeol found himself grinning and singing through Sunggyu and Myungsoo’s part with ease.

With a smile at Sungyeol, Myungsoo joined him for the chorus. 

난 하나면 돼 난 하나면 다 돼
[I only need one, I only need one]

너도 다 알지 뻔한걸
[You know it, it’s obvious]

완벽히 믿어 나만 믿으면 돼
[Completely trust me, just trust me]

그럼 난 니 거야 항상. [Then I am yours forever]

Sungyeol looked over at Myungsoo, he was watching him with a wide grin, his shoulders were moving in a slightly dorky dance, but everything about that dance screamed Myungsoo.

이거면 돼 어려울 것 없어
[This is it, it’s not that hard]

서로 마주한 심장이 뛰어준다면
[If our hearts for each other are beating]

나의 목소리로
 [If I call your name]

너의 이름을 불러주면 시작돼 [With my voice, it starts]

As Sungyeol reached the top of the song, he felt tears burn in his eyes and choke up his chest.

넌 나의 천사-

He looked over at Myungsoo who was still jumping up and down happily, singing and laughing.  Even though Myungsoo looked happy and Sungyeol knew that he should be happy too, Sungyeol burst into tears.

“Sungyeol!”  Myungsoo yelled in alarm, leaning as close as he could to the glass as possible.  Sungyeol leaned against the cold window, his breath misting the glass, and tried to even his breathing. 

Myungsoo touched the glass as if he wanted to wipe away the tears through the window.  “Please don’t cry.  Please don’t.”

“Myu-myun-soo…” 

He nodded, encouraging Sungyeol to finish, giving him courage to ask the question that was bothering him for so long.  Sungyeol looked up into Myungsoo’s warm gaze on the other side of the glass as he asked his question, “Myungsoo?  Di-id you see… Did yo-you…find the end?”

Myungsoo smiled, his hand resting on the glass.  “Yes.  I did,” he whispered, resting his forehead against the glass across from Sungyeol’s.     “I still need to finish everything here, but there is somewhere for me.  There is.”

With a shaky laugh, Sungyeol closed his eyes again, hating that thin barrier seperating them.  “I’m glad there is…” he whispered.  “Be safe until you get there.”

“Okay.”  Myungsoo’s voice was barely audible through the glass.  He studied him intensely, his eyes searching over Sungyeol’s face as if to memorize him.  “I’m going to miss you,” he said quietly.

“Please don’t go…” Sungyeol whispered, holding up his hand to mirror Myungsoo’s hand.

He laughed and looked at their hands that were nearly touching, but not quite.  “I told you I’m not going to leave you, Sungyeol, I’m going to be right here with you,” he said quietly. 

Sungyeol let out a silent breath, looking up to look Myungsoo directly in the eye.  “I’m going to see you again, right?”

He smiled again, not answering his question.  “Could you sing once more for me?” he asked.

“Why?” Sungyeol asked.

“Because I want to hear the voice of my angel once more.”

Sungyeol looked down, willing the tears to stay down.

“If you stand up on stage and give it all you’ve got, like it’s the last time, you will have no regrets.”

Closing his eyes, as if closing his eyes would change the world, Sungyeol took a deep breath and started to sing.

Singing that song, he could remember running around on the stage, singing and rapping with the others beside him, jumping around like hyper bunnies, with the screams of the Inspirits pulling them on.  Sungyeol could nearly feel the heat of the stage lights, the energy of the crowds as he sung the song that they had sung everywhere in the world, but always coming home to sing where they had started their journey.  

As he finished singing, the magic of the stage disappeared, the studio absoloutely silent.  He stood still, not wanting to open his eyes.  He opened his eyes slowly, and turned around, looking for Myungsoo. 

But he was alone. 

The room outside of the recording booth was empty.  The only sounds were his sniffles as the tears wouldn’t stop coming and the cruch of the music sheets under his feet.

Slowly, Sungyeol reached down and picked up the sheet music, stacking them up into a neat pile on the music stand.  His fingers lingered over one sheet of music.  On the edge, it said Kim Myungsoo (L) of Infinite.  It was a song that Sungyeol had never seen before, but the melody was familiar to him. The song didn’t have lyrics yet, but Sungyeol had a feling that somehow this song was going to be finished soon.  

He looked up and heard someone singing in the distance faintly, getting fainter as the voice got farther away.

난 하나면 돼 난 하나면 다 돼 [I only need one, I only need one.]


너도 다 알지 뻔한걸
 [You know it, it’s obvious.]

완벽히 믿어 나만 믿으면 돼
 [Completely trust me, just trust me.]

그럼 난 니 거야 항상 [Then I am yours for always.] 

Well, do you like it?  I hope you did.  please don't leave meeee~  I'm actually excited about these chapters, I ended up rewriting most of the next few chapters and I think they're pretty good, I hope that you'll like them too.  

Please leave me a comment or two!!  And maybe an upvote too?  Thank you so much!  I love you guys so much!!