Chapter 35
Jin Ri poked the food on her plate with her fork. It was another one of their family dinners on a Monday since two of her cousins cancelled on the last minute. She wished that it didn’t push through for the week. She just wasn’t feeling happy to be there, just like she hasn’t been happy all those other times. She and her uncle didn’t have the same relationship as they used to, even more so when she resigned from the company. Her cousins and Il Sung watched her carefully. They knew why she was on edge, especially that evening. It was the night before the wedding.

“Riri,” Mong Koo suddenly spoke, startling everyone. He never spoke during dinners anymore. What he usually did was just eat for a bit then excuse himself, leaving everyone much more at ease.

Jin Ri lifted her head to look at him. “Appa,” she monotonously responded. She put her fork down on the side of her plate.

He cleared his throat. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to discuss with you,” he continued on. Sung Ki and Yung Ho exchanged a look, while Jae Sun merely trained his gaze on Jin Ri. Sun Young stared at her plate with Il Sung tightly holding her hand. “Are you ready for tomorrow?” he asked.

“Yes,” she answered with a soft sigh. She was ready for the new life she was going to enter. There was no turning back.

“The contract between the two companies have been signed,” he suddenly announced, clearing his throat.

It took her a couple of seconds to process what he said. “What do you mean?” she blurted out when it finally made sense.

“The merger has been closed,” he elaborated. “It’s done.” He paused for a second. “You have the option not to marry Shin Jae tomorrow. I’m… I’m lifting that part of the deal.”

So many things were going through Jin Ri’s head. It was already the night before the wedding. It was ridiculous that this was brought down on her at such a time, when everything was already set, when she had already let everything go. She spent five months of trying so hard to accept the fact that she was getting married to someone she didn’t love, that she was marrying practically for money and now this?

“Riri,” Sung Ki stepped in. He had known about the cancellation of the marriage weeks before, just like everyone in the family knew, but no one was at liberty to tell her. Their father wanted to be the one the break the news at his own time, probably still hoping that Jin Ri would transfer her affections to Shin Jae.

“Excuse me,” Jin Ri quietly said, not allowing anyone else to say anything. She stood up and slipped inside the nearest room before breaking down into tears.

In all the pain that she had felt because of the whole ordeal, she felt that this was the biggest blow, the most excruciating. After everything she had been through, after everything she had done: breaking the heart of the one she dearly loved over and over again… it hurt her that it was this easy to stop everything and that it had to be done at a time when things had reached finality. She was never going to get back all those months she’d lost with Kyuhyun. She was never going to be able to take all the hurt she had made him feel. And she didn’t think she could ask him to try again when he’d already decided to move on.

Two arms wrapped themselves around her torso. “Riri, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

She recognized Jae Sun’s voice. She snuggled towards him and buried her face on his chest, yearning for some comfort that she knew she was never going to get. What’s done was done. Sobbing harder, she clung onto her cousin as if for dear life.

~ * ~

He walked in, his leather shoes echoing around the place. He stopped at the end of the middle aisle and looked around the establishment, his hands in his slacks pockets. He knew it would come to this. He knew what the end looked like right from the inception of the plan.

A pair of heels clicked and clacked on the marble floor, signaling the arrival of someone he knew he would remember for the rest of his life. The clicking and clacking stopped right beside him.

“Are you okay?” was the first thing he said.

“You should have told me,” was her biting response.

He turned and faced her. “Does it make any difference if I told you rather than your uncle?”

“I would have appreciated the gesture,” she stated. “We’re supposed to be in this together.”

“We’re not even supposed to be in this situation in the first place,” he gently reminded her. 

“But we are in his together. I’m not going anywhere,” she stubbornly stated. She walked down the aisle and sat down on one of the church pews. He followed her.

“There’s not going to be a wedding,” he finally informed her after a short silence. He’d been contemplating whether he should break it to her now or later. It seemed that it was better to tell her soon because it really seemed like she had plans to go through with the wedding.

She whipped her attention towards him. “What?” she sharply asked.

“We’re not getting married,” he reiterated. He had everything cancelled when she was away in Japan. It was a decision he made by himself, which he knew was one that everyone would appreciate.

“But everything’s all set,” she reasoned, confused. “What about the caterer, the venue, the guests?”

“Are you hearing yourself?” he asked, chuckling a little. “You actually sound like you want to get married to me.”

“Shin Jae,” she quietly chided. “I have decided that I’m getting married to you. That decision entails wanting to get married to you. I do want to get married to you.” She bit her lip. Even to her own ears, she sounded like she was still convincing herself.

He smiled and stared at his hands. “I’ve always wanted to hear you say that,” he confessed. He breathed deeply and closed his eyes, reveling in the thought that, even for a moment, she said that she wanted to be with him and sounded like she meant it.

She reached for his hand. “I’m telling you now. I want to get married to you,” she repeated earnestly.

“But I don’t,” he countered, opening his eyes and withdrawing his hand from hers. “Not like this.”

“I don’t understand,” she whispered, stunned. She really didn’t need rejection from him as well.

Staring at the altar, he let out a breath. “I think I’ve hurt you enough,” he professed. “You’ve found someone you love, someone who loves you so much in return. I don’t want to take that away from you any longer.” He paused and looked at her. She had her hands clasped together. Her eyes were trained on a spot on one of the pews. “I should have told you the moment the contracts had been signed,” he went on. “But I didn’t have that privilege. And I wanted you to still want to get out of this. But you’ve stopped caring and fighting for what you really want.”

“Kyuhyun has decided to move on,” she told him, recalling how he stepped away from her with a determined look on his face. It was the first time she’d seen Kyuhyun so willing to let her go. It made her feel lost, but at the same time, she couldn’t stop him. She didn’t want him holding on to something that there was no future to.

“Are you really going to just accept that? Do you really believe that he wants to move on, to walk away from you?” he asked. “Do you really want to walk away from him?”

“I’m marrying you,” she reminded him. “Kyuhyun’s getting on with his life. He needs to move on. I want him to move on.” She couldn’t understand what he was going on about. They were getting married in a couple of hours.

“I don’t think you realize how much Kyuhyun loves you,” he painfully pressed, watching her closely.

“I do know that,” she snapped, turning to him, her eyes suddenly ablaze. “Everyone keeps telling me that I don’t know how much he loves me, that I underestimate his feelings, but I do know. I know how willing he is to sacrifice everything for me, how he would give everything up for me. I know because I love him the same way. I want him to be able to live like he’s always wanted to live before he met me. I’m not going to allow him to change anything or give things up for me.”

“And you think he wants you to give things up for him?” he shot back, hoping that she would just come to her senses. He knew what she really wanted. He had known ever since he saw her with him in Na Young’s wedding.

She was quiet for a second. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

He looked straight ahead, appreciating the beauty and glory of the church. It was the church he’d always dreamt of having his wedding with her. But it just wasn’t going to be how he’d planned it. He put his hand in his pocket and slowly pulled out a black, velvet box.

“It still matters,” he corrected her, turning the box in his hands. “This… this was never mine to give to you,” he shared, referring to the box. He smiled a sad smile and handed it to her. Her eyes shot towards him in surprise. She opened it and, just as she expected, nestled in between the black velvet cushions was the silver engagement ring with sapphire stone. “He wanted you to have it, despite everything.” He paused and watched as she gazed at the ring. “He’s not going to forget you any time soon,” he continued. “You now have more time. I’m giving it to you.”

The sapphire stone sparkled under the glare of the lights. She bit her lip and took a deep breath so she wouldn’t cry. How could she have not realized that it didn’t come from Shin Jae? She suddenly remembered that he had intended to give her his mother’s ring, but somehow ended up with a different one, the one with the sapphire stone. She had loved the ring so much and wearing it felt so right.

“When you think about it,” he ended. “You’ve still been with him all this time. You’ve always been with him.”

~ * ~

Donghae jumped around to try to calm himself down. He was feeling anxious and just wanted to get his mind over whatever it was that he was worrying about. While he hopped around the place, Heechul was inside the car, in the passenger’s seat, typing away on his iPhone. Kibum, meanwhile, was leaning against the driver’s side door, his arms crossed on his chest as he watched his hyung bounce around.

“She’s not coming,” Donghae blurted out as soon as he stopped jumping.

“She’s coming,” Kibum confidently countered, smiling a little.

“If she was then she would have been here already,” Donghae pointed out.

“You believe in Santa Claus,” Kibum argued, raising his eyebrows at him. “You should believe in Jin Ri more. Have a little more faith in her, hyung.”

“What if she misses his flight?” Donghae went on. “She doesn’t know. We should have called her. And Santa Claus is real!” he shot back in a knowing manner.

“Donghae, just jump around,” Heechul directed, his eyes on his phone.

As Donghae did so obediently, Kibum then pushed himself off of the car and called Heechul’s attention. The eldest male got out of the car, just in time to see Jin Ri hurriedly stepping out of her car and breaking into a run to the dorm building. Heechul was about to run after her, but Donghae beat him to it.

“Oppa!” Jin Ri greeted in a rush.

“Come with me,” Donghae ordered, gently grabbing her arm and bringing her to their car that was parked on the side of the road.

“What are you all doing here?” she asked, bowing politely in greeting, as she saw Kibum and Heechul.

“Get in,” Heechul demanded, pushing her in the backseat, followed by Donghae. Kibum got in the driver’s seat and started the engine.

“Where are we going?” she asked in confusion. “I’m here to see Kyuhyun.”

“We are going to see Kyuhyun,” Heechul told her.

“He’s already at the airport,” Kibum informed her, glancing at her confused reaction through the rearview mirror. “He moved his flight to an earlier time.”

“What? Why?” she asked, surprise and nervous at the thought that she could be, and was probably, too late.

“Because you’re getting married today,” Donghae quietly answered, looking out of the window. “He doesn’t want to have the opportunity to stop you. He respects your decision. He says he’s promised you.”

“I told him how wouldn’t have to stop the wedding,” Heechul piped in, turning in his seat to look at her. “But what took you so long? Shin Jae said it wouldn’t take long to talk to you.”

Jin Ri stared at him then at Kibum and Donghae. “Have you all been conspiring against me?” she asked, remembering all those times that the other members mentioned talking to Shin Jae.

“Yeah, well, you needed some sense knocked into you,” Kibum commented offhandedly.

~ * ~

He wasn’t in the best of moods that day. He hadn’t been able to sleep well the night before, just like all the other nights for the past two weeks. It was probably being alone in Japan. He didn’t have any of his hyungs with him. They called everyday, but it wasn’t the same. And she wasn’t there. Jin Ri didn’t come to the airport the day he left. He should have expected her to come. Why would she? It was her wedding day. He sighed. She was back in Korea, probably happily married by now. He let out another breath as he pushed those thoughts out of his head, even though he wanted to badly to think about her and to know how she was doing. None of his hyungs, not even Taeyeon or Sooyoung, would tell him anything. He supposed it was a good thing. The less he knew about how she was, the better it would be for him.

The door to his waiting room opened, his manager walking in, along with the stylist. The stylist proceeded to do some finishing touches on his hair, while his manager sat down on the seat beside him and met his eyes through the mirror.

“Before the signing, there’s a special fan who wants to meet you,” the manager began. Kyuhyun sighed. “I know you’re not in the mood,” he continued, knowing what his talent was thinking. Ever since they left Korea, the youngest member of Super Junior hadn’t been the same. He had seen the changes that had happened to the magnae ever since he and his girlfriend broke up. It affected his recordings and performances. If he wasn’t about to burst into tears, he spaced out. “The past few days hasn’t been smooth, but please try to be cordial. Pretend to be happy in meeting her, smile.”

“Where is she from?” Kyuhyun finally asked, agreeing to his manager’s request.

“She came all the way from Korea,” the manager replied, looking relieved that he was agreeing. “She just wants to give something to you then we can go on with the signing.” He stood up from his seat. “I’ll bring her in.” He stepped out of the room, followed by the stylist.

Kyuhyun remained seated and closed his eyes for a bit. He knew he was being bratty, more than the usual. He was making things hard for his manager, who was working so hard to make his solo debut into the Japanese market a success. He’d been scolded a couple of times by Leeteuk and Heechul, both of whom, knew very well what he was like when in a bad mood. They reminded him of the many opportunities for him in Japan and that he shouldn’t let what happened between him and Jin Ri to affect any of that. But how could he not do that? Everything seemed meaningless without her.

The door slowly opened and the manager ushered the fan into the room, leaving at once and closing the door behind him. He knew she was there but he continued on with his eyes closed. She walked closer to him, stopping a few feet away from his seat.

“Oppa,” she said in very soft voice. He moved to open his eyes and look at her, but she stopped him. He stilled and kept his eyes closed, not wanting to disrespect her. “It’s okay. Don’t open your eyes and look at me. I’m not worth it,” she immediately said, taking a step back, looking uncertain. “I just wanted to see you and give you something before your fan signing.” Slowly, she walked forward and placed a small box on the dressed in front of him then went back to her original position. “I… I want you to know,” she told him, “I’ve never stopped being sure.” She bowed even though his eyes were closed then hurriedly left the room.

As soon as he heard the door close, he immediately opened his eyes and looked around the empty room. That was a weird fan, if there ever was one, he couldn’t help but think. Usually fans wanted their idols to be able to look at them and meet their eyes. His eyes saw the small box on the dresser and picked it up. As he opened the box, a note fell out.

He then looked into the box and what he saw made him gasp. It was the ring. He remembered clearly how he had scoured every corner of every jewelry shop that he saw with Siwon. After she had asked him if he ever thought about marriage, he decided that he would ask her to marry him. But he never got around to doing so because she got engaged with Shin Jae then broke up with him. He’d always kept the ring, hoping that, eventually, he would get around to asking her that question. When he realized that it was never going to happen, he gave the ring to Shin Jae. He bought it for her so he still wanted her to have it, not caring if she wouldn’t ever know that it was from him. He looked at the note once more.

“Cherry blossoms,” he murmured. From what he knew of cherry blossoms, it was a cultural icon in Japan. Sooyoung, who was often in Japan for promotions, told him what they symbolized. Then he remembered the last thing that she said. I’ve never stopped being sure. He sat up straight then stared at the door. He hurriedly stood up and dashed to the door. As he opened it, his manager appeared.

“Kyuhyun,” the manager reacted, surprised. “I was just going to call you. The fans are ready.”

“Hyung, the fan who was just here,” he demanded. “Where is she?” He stepped out into the hall and searched for her.

“She just left,” the manager answered. “Why?”

Kyuhyun looked at the note once more. He was almost positive that it was her. Cherry blossoms. “Cherry blossoms,” he hastily blurted out. “It’s blooming season, right?”

“Kyuhyun, what are you going on about?” the manager asked, an amused glint in his eyes.

“Hyung, I need to see cherry blossoms,” he hastily told him, grabbing his arm. “Where’s the nearest park, hyung?”

“Koishikawa Korakuen,” his manager replied without missing a beat. He pushed his talent towards the end of the hallway. “You can use the van,” he then told him. “The driver knows the way.”

“Hyung, the fan signing,” Kyuhyun began, wondering why he was allowing him to leave without question and why he was so willing to do so.

“Just go,” his manager ordered, giving him a push. Once Kyuhyun was out of his sight, he shook his head. “I’m really going to lose my job one of these days,” he muttered, thinking about all of the times he did favors for the members.

~ * ~

Kyuhyun jogged around the park, searching for Jin Ri. He just knew that she was there. He was sure that it was her who had given him the ring back. He cursed at himself for not recognizing her voice, but he had been telling himself to stop hoping—to just stop—that he never imagined that she would ever come to Japan. Plus, she called him oppa. She never called him oppa even if he was actually older than her. What was she doing there anyway? Wasn’t she supposed to be on her honeymoon?

As he reached the lake, he stopped to just walk around. He didn’t know where to find her. He wasn’t even sure if she was there. She could be anywhere in any of the other places to view Cherry Blossoms if he had been right in his assumption that she wanted to meet with him in such a place. He sat down on one of the benches by the lake and looked up at the Sakura trees, filled with beautiful cherry blossoms. He smiled at the sight, feeling contented somehow.

“You’re here.”

He immediately looked to his right and stood up when he saw Jin Ri standing there. She was wearing a light pink dress, ballet flats, and her hair fell all the way down to her shoulders. He thought she looked even more beautiful if that was even possible.

“What—what are you doing here?” Kyuhyun asked when he finally found his voice. He mentally scolded himself. After all this time, she still took his breath away.

She smiled, making him catch his breath once more, and looked around. “I came to watch the cherry blossoms,” Jin Ri answered. She walked towards the edge of the lake.

He followed and stood beside her. “You came all the way to Japan just for this?” he wanted to know, looking sideways at her. There was a bit of hopefulness in his tone and he knew that she noticed.

“Maybe not just for this,” she responded, glancing at him. Before he could ask what she meant, she continued meaningfully, “I’ve missed this.” Then she smiled and turned to him. “How are you?”

“Jin Ri, why did you come to the fan signing earlier?” he asked instead. “Why did you give back the ring? Why did you want to meet me here? Why are you here?” He didn’t want to go around the bush anymore. He didn’t want to waste any time.

She smiled a little, nodding in understanding. “The ring is yours,” she stated with a half shrug. “I know you gave it to Shin Jae to give to me, but… it shouldn’t have to be that way so I’m giving it back to you. I wanted to meet you because… I wanted to see how you were doing.”

“Aren’t you being too cruel?” he questioned frankly. “It hasn’t even been three weeks. And aren’t you supposed to be on your honeymoon? Why are you here, meeting me? I told you I’d stop going after you. Is it too hard to give me the space that I need?” He knew why he was getting angry, but he wasn’t going to admit it. A part of him wished that she never came.

“I’m not here to be cruel,” she defended herself calmly. “I just… I thought you should know… I didn’t get married.”

“Right,” he snapped. “What does that have to—?” He stopped when what she said registered in his head and faced her. “What?”

She smiled and shook her head. “They really didn’t tell you,” she mumbled, referring to his hyungs and their friends. “I didn’t get married,” she clarified, looking at him. “It’s a long story, but the short of it is that I don’t have to marry anyone against my will.”

“And you’re here because…?” he slowly inquired, his heart pounding on his chest. It was wrong to expect anything. It was wrong to hope. But he couldn’t help himself. What exactly was she saying?

“Cherry Blossoms signify new beginnings. It allows us to hope and dream of a more beautiful tomorrow,” she suddenly shared, looking away, a wistful smile on her face. “They tell us that life is short and that we shouldn’t waste any time.” Slowly turning to him again, she pressed, “I don’t want to waste any more time.”

“I don’t understand,” was his reply. 

He wanted to hear it—really hear it—and not assume based on all the metaphors she had just said. The past two weeks had been hell. Leaving Korea had been hell. No comforting words from his hyungs or any of his friends were enough. They were all encouraging him not to give up, to just keep on trying, but he didn’t know until when he should try. He loved her with all of his soul, but he didn’t want to lose it. He wanted her back in his life, but if she left again… he was going to break and he would never know anymore how to put himself back together.

He followed her hand, which moved towards the pendant of her necklace. He couldn’t believe that she was still wearing it. It seemed so long ago that he had given it to her. “I’ve broken a lot of my promises to you,” she spoke. “I didn’t tell you when your fans approached me or said something to me. I’ve kept things from you; I didn’t tell you about my uncle and how he wanted me to stay away from you and why. I tried to handle things on my own just so I could protect you.” He opened his mouth to say something, but she stopped with by shaking her head. “I’ve made so many mistakes and I know I was wrong from trying to do things by myself when we’re supposed to be partners. But, even if I had told you that I didn’t—that I didn’t love you anymore…” She took a deep breath. “…I’ve always been sure about you.”

He stood there, unmoving, his eyes boring into hers. She looked up at him, her eyes shining with tears. There were so many things going through his head in that moment. There were so many things he wanted to say.

“I don’t mean to be cruel and I know you want your space,” she carried on earnestly, playing with her hands. “But I just thought that I need to do my part now. You’ve always been right behind me every step of the way, even when I didn’t want you follow me.” She paused. “I just thought that it was about time that I run after you. So… I want you to know that, this time, I’m not going anywhere. I don’t care how many times you push me away, I’m always going to go after you,” she professed, echoing his words to her seemingly so long ago.

“Jin Ri,” he began, his voice in a whisper.

“I love you, Kyuhyun. I still love you. I’ve always loved you,” she declared unquestionably as tears started to trickle down her face. She indifferently wiped them away. “And I want you back. I want you to want me back. Please want me back. Please love me again.”

She turned away so she could dry her face that was increasingly becoming wet because of her crying. But, without warning, he grabbed her and pulled her to him, pressing her against his chest. She clung onto him, her sobs becoming heavier. She really didn’t know what he would do, how he would react. She just assumed the worst because she knew that he had such a hard time waiting and hoping that things between them would work out.

“What are you talking about? I lied,” he confessed, tightening his hold on her. “I’ve never stopped hoping that you would come back to me. I never stopped—I couldn’t. I never stopped loving you so it’s pointless to ask me to love you again.” He pulled away for a bit to get a good look on her face. He gently thumbed her tears away. “I told you… you’d always be my princess.” She started crying once again and he chuckled. “Please stop crying. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” He paused for a second to intently look into her eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you,” she eagerly responded. Then she stood on tiptoe and captured his lips in a kiss, her arms around his neck.

He took a step back as he tried to keep himself from falling. He smiled as he kissed her back, still reeling over the disbelief that she was back in his arms. He tried to coax her to relax, to slow down, moving his lips slower and gentler against hers. He knew she was searching for reassurance and he was willing to give her that for the rest of their life together.

She was beyond relief at how he accepted her back without hesitations. Maybe she really did underestimate his love for her. It was only then that she truly realized how much he loved her without bounds. It didn’t matter to him that she had broken up with him over and over and even told him that she didn’t love him anymore. He loved her and he wanted her in his life. Now that he did, everything was perfect. It was how things were supposed to be. She couldn’t help but think about how, this time, she wouldn’t need to hold on to photos. She didn’t need to preserve memories. It didn’t matter anymore if time moved slow or fast. She had him in his life. They were going to create memories together and remind each other of them as time went by.

“So…” he spoke once they’d pulled away. “Cherry blossoms signify new beginnings, huh?” He smiled once more as he tucked her hair behind her ears.

“I don’t want to start over,” she quickly asserted, shaking her head. “I mean I know we’re starting over somehow, but no more taking things slow.”

“Princess,” he chuckled teasingly, “are you sure that’s what you want?”

She gave him a wary look. “Kyuhyun, if you’re having ideas about another graduation, you better think again,” she seriously said, but there was a teasing twinkle in her eyes.

“Getting back together is always full of passion and you’ll never know…” he innocently acknowledged. 

“You and your brain,” she scoffed. 

“It was worth a try,” he defended himself.

“We just got back together and already GreasyKyu has made his appearance,” she observed, shaking her head. She slowly wrapped her arms around his neck once more. “I was hoping for PrinceKyu.”

He snickered as he wrapped his arms around her waist. “Well that can be arranged,” he responded as his breath ghosted on her lips.