Chapter 29
It was a beautiful day. The weather was cool and dry, but still pleasantly warm and sunny. The yellow and orange leaves brought such color and brightness to the day. People were strolling about, hand-in-hand, while kids ran around, playing with each other. Fall had always been one of her favorite seasons. She wished she could enjoy the day like everyone seemed to being doing so.

“Miss, are you listening?”

Jin Ri turned away from the window and brought her attention back to the woman, who was currently giving her a disapproving look. She gave her a sheepish smile, glancing at the man seated beside her then looking at her again.

“You have my full attention now, I promise,” Jin Ri responded with another apologetic smile.

“Maybe we should take a break,” Shin Jae suggested, glancing knowingly at Jin Ri. He turned to the annoyed lady and dismissed her. After being left alone in the room, he turned to her, his eyebrows raised. “You could at leastpretend to enjoy this. Most women would be squealing with delight.”

“I’m not most women,” she muttered with a sigh, taking in her surroundings. She stood up and looked out of the window once more. She had the sudden urge to take some photographs. 

Shin Jae sighed and followed suit, leaning against the window and looking at her. “That really hurts my ego,” he retorted.

“Sorry,” she apologized with a small smile.

He chuckled and shook his head. “Jinnie, you have to try harder,” he stated. “You know that this is something that you have to do.” She returned his gaze, pouting a little. “Is choosing a wedding dress really that hard?”

“All of these dresses are really pretty,” she admitted, walking towards the nearest one hanging on a rack. “And I appreciate everything,” she continued, turning around to look at him once more.

“Jinnie,” he began.

“I haven’t changed, haven’t I?” she interrupted, chuckling a little. “I’m still too greedy. I was too greedy. I rushed into things again.”

He sighed and walked over to her, pulling her into his arms. “I love you, Jin Ri, and I would do anything for you. Let me make you happy in the way I know how. Give me some time,” he pleaded. Pulling away, he looked into her eyes. “Can you do that for me?”

Shin Jae was her best friend and she trusted him despite everything that has happened between them. Nodding, she replied, “I’m giving you time.”

~ ** ~

Their manager placed a sheet of paper in front of each of them. The three males seated around the table looked up at him curiously before moving to look at the paper.

“This is what you’ll be singing for a special concert this weekend,” the manager declared. “Rehearsals start tonight.”

“Okay,” Yesung noted as he skimmed the song list.

Kyuhyun, who wasn’t paying much attention, grabbed the sheet of paper then stormed out of the room without another word. The three other occupants of the room just watched him leave. It was pretty much what the magnae had been doing for the past weeks. He was like a robot, just going through the motions.

“That kid,” the manager commented, shaking his head. “What are we going to do about him?”

“Don’t worry about it, hyung,” Yesung assured him. “I’ll make sure he’s able to sing.”

“It’s not just that,” the manager stated. “He has his musical and a hosting job, as well as a new solo coming up. I hope he’ll be able to perform well in that condition. The fans have noticed that he hasn’t been himself during the concerts.”

Despite having no confirmation of a break-up, there was a continuous overflow of gifts and tokens for the magnae to help mend his supposedly broken heart, accompanied with some rather harsh words about Jin Ri. Because of which, after the first letter, Kyuhyun hadn’t bothered to read any more. Reading about people hating on his princess wasn’t going to put the pieces of his heart back together.

“Why does he suddenly have so many schedules all of a sudden?” Yesung wanted to know purely out of curiosity. All of the members, even Kibum, who spent most time with Kyuhyun because of gaming, had noticed the sudden sprout of their magnae's activities. While it was good that it took his mind away from his break-up most of the time, they were afraid that he barely even had time to breathe anymore.

“I guess it’s his time to shine,” Ryeowook murmured absent-mindedly.

Their manager shrugged. “I only follow orders,” he told them. “He’s doing fine, isn’t he?” he then asked, suddenly worried.

“Don’t worry, hyung,” Yesung assured him. “I’m taking responsibility for him.”

Ryeowook, sighing, picked up the paper and started reading the song list. He then immediately looked up at their manager in some sort of panic after doing so. “Hyung, you’re not really going to ask Kyuhyun to sing these, are you?” he demanded.

“That list is final,” the manager confirmed.

“But Kyuhyun…” Ryeowook defended his friend. He stopped when Yesung put a hand on his shoulder. The younger male shot a bitter look to his hyung, but didn’t say anything more.

Kyuhyun hadn’t really spoken a word to them after having brought him to the harsh reality that Jin Ri was really leaving him for good. Ryeowook had done everything from cooking all of his favorite foods and desserts, to cleaning his room for him (which Sungmin greatly appreciated), to preparing his clothes for him everyday. He even became his own personal assistant, making sure he had everything he needed during shows, his clothes, lyrics sheets, laptop, PMP, books, etc. But it was all to no avail. Kyuhyun hadn’t even said a word of thanks. It made Ryeowook very upset. If it weren’t for Yesung, he would have stormed into Jin Ri’s apartment to tell her off again.

“What do you plan on singing then?” their manager questioned them, looking like he was talking to a two-year old. “The Night Chicago Died?”

“A Dreaming Hero?” Ryeowook suggested hopefully. Their manager rolled his eyes. “Hey, the fans like those songs,” he said defensively.

“You’re Super Junior KRY,” their manager emphasized. “You’re always going to be singing sad love songs.” Shaking his head, he stepped out of the room.

“The songs may not be appropriate to what’s happening right now,” Yesung spoke once their manager had left the room. “But this is work. We shouldn’t let personal affairs get in the way of it.”

“Hyung,” Ryeowook countered, “we can’t keep on doing this to Kyuhyun. Sure he’s busy and he probably doesn’t have time to think about anything anymore, but he hasn’t healed.” He, with all the other members, had been a witness on how their magnae tried to participate properly during performances. Most of the time he managed, but sometimes he just stood on stage and looked at the audience, as if searching for someone.

“We can’t shield him from everything that could possibly remind him of Jin Ri and his heartache,” Yesung told him knowingly. “All we can do is guide him and make sure that he has someone to fall to when he gets hurt. The rest is up to him.”

“But hyung,” Ryeowook started to counter, looking even more worried.

Yesung put a comforting hand on his dongsaeng’s shoulder. “Stop worrying,” he gently requested. “Let your hyungs worry for all of you.”

As Ryeowook nodded in compliance, Yesung couldn’t help but feel the burden on his shoulders. He had always relied on Leeteuk, Heechul and, even Hangeng, during times like these. They were the hyungs of the group. They were their support structure, always making sure that things were going to be okay, restoring faith in each other. But, this time, it was too much for all of them, meaning it was getting to be too much for Leeteuk and even Heechul. He had to step up and take some of the burden. He just wished there were some way he could help alleviate the pain everyone’s feeling because of Kyuhyun’s suffering.

~ ** ~

Jin Ri looked through the messages that Soo Min, her secretary, handed to her as she walked down the hallway, past through the maze of cubicles, to her office. She noted that she had a phone conference at 11 o’clock then a meeting with Sun Young and Sung Ki after lunch.

“The storyboard of the new ads are on your desk,” Soo Min stated, planner on hand. “You need to go through them before your meeting with Sun Young and Sung Ki-ssi.”

Jin Ri nodded as she smiled at a couple of employees who greeted her.

“Oh and here’s a list of magazines and companies who’ve called to ask you to photograph something for them,” Soo Min added, handing her a list of names and contact details.

“Soo Min, I don’t know why you’re also handling my photography work schedule,” Jin Ri commented, smiling as she turned towards her. “You know that’s not part of your job.”

“I know,” Soo Min seconded. “But Shin Jae-ssi and Sun Young,” she added when Jin Ri gave her a look, “told me to make sure you don’t reject any more photography offers.”

Jin Ri gave her a small smile as she looked through the list of photography jobs. There were a couple of offers from High Cut magazine, W Korea magazine, Singles magazine. There were offers for some advertisements and there was one from SM Entertainment. But before she could ask about it, Soo Min started talking again.

“By the way, you have a visitor,” she stated before leaving her to go to her desk.

Jin Ri cautiously pushed her office door open and peered inside, wondering who could possibly her visitor be. As soon as she stepped inside and saw the person seated on one of the chairs stand up, her face broke into a surprised grin.

“So you still do remember me,” Taeyeon teased, an eyebrow raised.

“What are you doing here?” Jin Ri asked, enveloping her friend into a hug.

“I figured that I should come to see you since you’re not answering my calls,” Taeyeon said as they settled down on the sofa. When Jin Ri looked sheepish, she went on, “How could you resign and not tell me?”

“I thought it would be best,” was Jin Ri’s simple explanation. She was quiet for a bit then she smiled brightly. “So how are you? How are promotions going? I really like your new song. It’s very catchy.”

“Thanks,” Taeyeon responded, surprised that she was even updated with her group’s activities. She leaned towards her and reached for her hand, squeezing it. “How are you?”

“Busy,” Jin Ri answered, standing up to go behind her desk and look at the papers Soo Min had placed there. “Work is so taxing lately. Sung Ki oppa and appa keeps on giving me work left and right. Plus, there’s the wedding. I never knew it could be so tiring. All the dress fittings, the caterer, the venue… everything’s such a mess. And then there’s—.”

“Stop,” Taeyeon retorted a bit loudly so Jin Ri could hear her. “Stop,” she repeated meaningfully when Jin Ri looked at her, startled. She moved around the desk and wrapped her arms around her friend.

When she had heard from Zhou Mi that Jin Ri and Kyuhyun had broken up, she felt like she had one of the biggest shocks of her life. Kyuhyun and Jin Ri were… Kyuhyun and Jin Ri. They were a couple she looked up to because it just seemed like everything that they were going through they would be able to overcome. They were just so in love and so happy that she swore she could already hear wedding bells whenever she was around them. Seeing them break up was like losing hope in love and its power. If they couldn’t make it then what about the rest of them?

“I’m fine,” Jin Ri immediately said after returning the hug for a second. She pulled away and forced a smile. “Really,” she insisted when Taeyeon raised her eyebrows at her.

“We’re having a performance this weekend,” Taeyeon went on, deciding not to argue. “Please come and watch.” Jin Ri hesitated. “You’re going to be there for me and the girls, not for anyone else. This is the least you can do after ignoring me for the past two months,” she insisted.

“Alright. I’ll be there,” Jin Ri promised, giving the friend that she missed so much another hug.

~ ** ~

Sungmin carefully watched as Kyuhyun gingerly moved around the waiting room assigned for Super Junior. The magnae had fallen ill the other day, but had still insisted on participating on all his activities, which included musical rehearsals, show recordings, and rehearsals for the show that night. He knew that the magnae very much wanted to just lie down and snuggle under a blanket, judging by the way he kept on glancing at Heechul who was resting on the couch, but was forcing himself to reiterate to himself that he was fine. Kyuhyun situated himself instead by the window, beside Eunhyuk, who was listening to some music from his iPod.

“He’s not doing too well, is he?” Shindong asked, nudging him lightly.

“No, he’s not,” Sungmin confirmed, still watching him closely. Eunhyuk had insisted that the magnae lean his head on his shoulder after feeling his forehead.

“Maybe we should tell the hyungs?” Shindong suggested worriedly.

“They had all asked him if he was sure he could perform,” Sungmin relayed. “He just glared at them and replied with a curt yes.” 

Sungmin honestly couldn’t understand Kyuhyun anymore. He knew he was upset and heartbroken, but that didn’t give him any right to go off on his hyungs. They all just wanted what was best for him. They all cared about him so much that his hurt just reverberated through all of them. And Sungmin knew that if it was hard for the magnae, it was hard for everyone, especially the older ones. He lifted his gaze away from Eunhyuk and Kyuhyun and moved it to Yesung. He was seated on one of the seats by the vanity mirrors, watching Kyuhyun as well. Out of all of them, aside from Sungmin and Ryeowook, it seemed that Yesung had taken it upon himself to take care of Kyuhyun. It was obvious that he made extra effort to take care of the baby of the group, always taking note of his schedules and checking up on him. He always offered help to the magnae as well, despite getting rejected every single time. Sungmin wondered what triggered his hyung’s sudden extra care for Kyuhyun—not that he didn’t care before. He was caring, but it was never so obvious.

Another person who had his eyes on the youngest member was Heechul. He appeared like he was playing games or tweeting on his iPhone, but really he was looking at Kyuhyun. It annoyed Heechul to no end at how bratty Kyuhyun was being, slamming doors in the dorm, not talking to anyone, not being anything. But how he cared about him. He couldn’t bring himself to scold him because he understood how hard it was to have your heart shattered. He wished that he could take his pain away and experience it for himself because it wasn’t something he wished on anyone, especially their magnae. He just wanted the old Kyuhyun back because this new one just the life out of all the members.

Soon, the members were called to go backstage to get ready for their performance. Everyone stood up and got ready, including Kyuhyun who was looking paler every minute that passed. As they trooped out of the room, Ryeowook reached out to touch Kyuhyun’s head. Feeling the heat radiating from him, he got a wet towel and reached out once more to dab it on the magnae’s face. Kyuhyun had already raised his arm to shove Ryeowook’s away when Leeteuk stopped him.

“Let him,” Leeteuk directed sternly. 

Kyuhyun put his arm down and did as he was told. When their leader used that tone, no one could ever disobey him. But Kyuhyun continued on walking with Ryeowook following after him.

Donghae and Eunhyuk, who were leading the others, started playing around, which was what they usually did before each performance. They both tried to get everyone to cheer up so that the smiles on stage would be more natural. As they turned a corner, the two boys suddenly stopped walking, causing the rest of the members to bump into each other’s backs.

“What are you doing?” Heechul demanded from somewhere in between Shindong and Siwon. He opened his mouth to shoot out another angry retort when he saw the cause of the hold up.

Jin Ri had stepped out of a room with Taeyeon, followed by the rest of the SNSD girls. She immediately gasped inwardly when she saw them and gave them three 90-degree bows. Taeyeon instructed the other girls to go ahead, which they immediately did after sensing the tension. Sungmin, his eyes narrowing at Jin Ri, opened his mouth to say something, but Shindong grabbed his arm to stop him.

“Don’t do it,” Shindong warned, shaking his head at him. “Kyuhyun wouldn’t be very happy when he finds out, which he will, if you say something mean to her.”

“Fine,” Sungmin grumbled, grabbing his arm from him.

“Taeyeon?” Leeteuk questioned.

“I invited her,” Taeyeon stated firmly, meeting each of the boys’ eyes as if daring them to say something. She knew that Jin Ri wasn’t the Super Junior members’ favorite person at the moment, but she wanted everyone to be able to come to terms with everything that’s happening head on. She wanted to help Jin Ri realize some things, too.

“Very well,” Heechul stated nonchalantly. “You should at least watch our performances as well.” 

Heechul gave Jin Ri the smallest of smiles when she looked up at him in surprise. It was the friendliest face she’d seen among the members. Zhou Mi wasn’t around and Siwon was definitely standing by his word in not being sympathetic to her. Even Yesung wasn’t meeting her eyes. Though the smile disappeared as quickly as it had come, Jin Ri felt a bit relieved, knowing that there was a glimmer of hope to rebuild her friendships with them despite what she had done.

“We should get going,” Sungmin interrupted rather harshly. Without another word, he pulled Shindong, Yesung and Siwon along with him.

Both Donghae and Eunhyuk seemed like they wanted to stop and talk to Jin Ri for a bit. They were upset about her break up with their magnae and how she had done it, but they missed her terribly. It had been two months since she prepared the delicious dinner for them, which turned out to be her way of saying goodbye. After exchanging a glance, the boys decided against it and followed after Sungmin and the others.

“Oppa,” Taeyeon began warily. Leeteuk had been looking at Jin Ri the whole time and she was afraid that he was going to say something hurtful. She knew how much Leeteuk loved s, how much he wished that he could take every pain from them. That kind of love, sometimes, as she knew all too well, made one do or say irrational things in an attempt to protect the people they cared about.

“How are you, Jin?” Leeteuk softly inquired.

All three heads turned to him in surprise. Heechul’s mouth nearly hung open. He had stayed behind, thinking that he would have to be there to restrain his hyung in case he let all his anger out on Kyuhyun’s ex-girlfriend. As it turned out, he had misjudged how mature their leader was and how much he cared about her.

“Oppa,” Jin Ri responded, the surprise still not leaving her. “I’m—I’m okay,” she stuttered. Before Leeteuk could respond, she gave him another 90-degree bow, saying, “I’m very sorry.”

Heechul immediately reached out and grabbed Jin Ri’s arms. She was about to lean forward to do a formal bow, which was unnecessary. “Come here, you silly girl,” he affectionately ordered and pulled her to him in a hug.

As Jin Ri shook in his arms, her sobbing uncontrollable at that point, Heechul met Leeteuk’s red-rimmed eyes. It appeared that they were all wrong about her. She clearly still loved Kyuhyun very much.

~ * ~

Kyuhyun took a deep breath as he prepared to go out onstage and perform for the last time that night. The whole night was a struggle for him. He didn’t feel right that evening, aside from the fact that he was sick and feeling light-headed the whole time. His chest felt constricted, like something was just trying to burst out of him, but he didn’t know what it was.

“Are you okay?” Ryeowook asked.

Kyuhyun turned to his friend. He was deciding on whether to say something mean to him or to just continue ignoring him when he saw how truly worried he was for his well-being. So he took a deep breath and nodded. Ryeowook had been nothing but nice to him all this time. As he looked around the room, he realized at how hurtful he had been to all of his hyungs. It made his heart tighten in pain.

“It’s the last song,” Kyuhyun answered quietly. “I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll make sure you get a couple of days off after tonight,” Yesung stated, glancing at Leeteuk, who immediately nodded in agreement.

“I’m fine,” Kyuhyun assured them again, walking towards the side of the stage.

The last song that they were performing was a KRY song, featuring Sungmin and Donghae. It was another one of those slow, tear-jerking ballads that Super Junior KRY was known for singing. It was a song that he didn’t really understand completely, but loved to sing it nevertheless. He took a deep breath and the five of them walked out to the stage, the lights dim. Standing in the middle position, he looked out to the audience for the first time that night. A movement in the front row, on the right side, caught his eye. Taeyeon, clad in their gold performance outfit, had approached one of the people in the audience.

His breath got caught in his throat.

He would know her anywhere. He knew every bit of her.

Ryeowook, noticing that he was distracted, slightly nudged him as the song started. Kyuhyun, his heart and head pounding, placed the microphone in front of his mouth and started to sing.

“She comes back 
She says she's sorry
The skilled hands that I missed caress my own”

He walked towards the front of the stage, a part of the small choreography that they did, as the other members started to sing their parts. His eyes had never left Jin Ri from the time the song started. But as she looked up and met his eyes, he looked away. His chest was feeling tight and painful so he let out a huge breath.

Then the tears came.

It was the strangest feeling. He had always had a good command of his emotions. He rarely cried, unlike Eunhyuk or Ryeowook or Leeteuk, who seemingly cried every other week. It just wasn’t in his nature. But this time he couldn’t control it. The tears just kept on coming and he couldn’t stop it. He took deep breaths to calm himself down, to keep the tears at bay. But, strangely enough, as the tears came out, the restriction on his chest became lighter. He lifted his microphone to his lips once more.

“I hope I sleep forever like this
I wake up with her presence still...”

As Kyuhyun missed a note, Sungmin and Donghae exchanged a worried look. It looked like their magnae was feeling even worse than their earlier performances. Ryeowook looked like he wanted to run to him to give any sort of aid.

Kyuhyun took another deep breath, even though it wasn’t doing him any good. He knew what he had to do, but he didn’t want to fall apart in front of thousands of people. But the song was evoking emotions with him that he just couldn’t hold back.

“Like in yesterday's dream, today she comes to me
Now I don't sleep alone”

As the song neared its end, he walked back to his original position. He kept his eyes to the front, ignoring the not-so-discreet worried looks that the other members were giving him. Gaining the courage, he looked at Jin Ri again. Her head was bowed and he just knew that she was crying. Closing his eyes and mentally scolded himself. He should never have allowed himself to break in front of her. He knew how it would hurt her too.

“If I could only see you again today, if I could do it again, if you came back again...”

When the song finally ended, Jin Ri hurriedly stood up from her seat. Kyuhyun, seeing this, rushed off the stage, stumbling in the process. The combination of his sick and emotional state made him even weaker. Siwon and Shindong had caught him just before he hit the ground. But, instead of stopping, he just pushed them away and ran off again. He wasn’t going to allow himself to let Jin Ri go again. He had done it twice and he regretted it to no end both times. This time around he was going to run after her and he wasn’t going to stop. It was what he promised her. And he kept his promises.