Chapter 27
Anyone who looked out of the Super Junior dorm windows would say that those boys had one of the best views of the city. It was one of the things Jin Ri loved the most when she went to their dorm. She reminded herself to look out of the window and absorb everything that she would see from there before she left. Before she could think of anything else, the door opened and out peeked a face she didn’t see very often.

“Kibum oppa!” Jin Ri greeted as she stepped into the dorm. She put the bags she was carrying on the floor so that she could give him a hug. “What are you doing here?”

“Visiting,” Kibum answered, hugging her tightly. “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be with Kyuhyun in his schedule.” Despite not being around as much, he made sure that he still knew everything that was happening with s.

“It’s great that you’re here,” she told him, grinning as they walked inside. “I’m going to cook for you guys.” She held up the bags she had picked up from the floor.

“What’s the occasion? Is this how couples celebrate nowadays?” he teasingly asked. “Hyungs, Jin Ri’s here!” he announced before she could answer.

The doors of the rooms all opened and the members who weren’t hanging out in the living room all came out one by one, rushing out to greet her.

“What’s all this?” Donghae demanded, getting the bags she was holding and putting them on the dining table.

“Food?” both Eunhyuk and Shindong chorused.

Jin Ri chuckled as she disentangled herself from Sungmin’s embrace. “I was hoping I can make you guys some lunch. I hope you haven’t eaten yet,” she told them.

“Even if we have eaten,” Sungmin countered sweetly, “we would still definitely eat whatever you’d make for us.”

“Yeah,” Eunhyuk agreed. “I’m actually still very hungry.”

“Why am I not surprised?” she teased, walking towards the kitchen to start cooking.

“I’ll call the others to come down,” Donghae said, whipping out his mobile phone to call the occupants of the 12th floor to join them.

Soon enough, it was like a party in the 11th floor dorm. It seemed only Kyuhyun had a schedule that morning for everyone was present. Leeteuk and Heechul with Ryeowook and Yesung, who was hanging out with the eternal magnae, all immediately went downstairs once they found out that Jin Ri was cooking a feast for them. Even Siwon, who was out shopping with Zhoumi, came back home at the news.

“Wookie, you really don’t have to help,” she told him, trying to make him stop from slicing the vegetables. “I’m cooking for you guys so you shouldn’t have to lift a finger.”

“I’d rather be here than join them,” Ryeowook said, nodding towards the living room, where Sungmin and Shindong were wrestling on the floor, while Donghae and Eunhyuk cheered them on.

She chuckled then gave him a kiss on the cheek so suddenly that Ryeowook blushed. “Thank you so much, oppa,” she told him, putting an arm around his waist. “You’ve been so nice to me.”

“You haven’t done anything wrong,” he said, chuckling. “Besides, you really make it hard for people to be mad at you.”

At this, she smiled gratefully at him, making him grin at her as they went back to work.

They were halfway through making everything when Zhoumi bounded into the kitchen to inspect their progress, making Jin Ri amused and Ryeowook slightly annoyed. He really didn’t like it when the members asked him to speed up his cooking.

“I missed you,” Zhoumi then stated, hugging Jin Ri so suddenly from the back that she almost dropped the bowl of carrots she was holding. Ryeowook got the bowl from her to ensure that she really wouldn’t drop it, but not before giving the tall, Chinese man a glare.

“I missed you, too, Mimi,” she sincerely replied, turning around so they could hug properly. She closed her eyes as she rested her head on his chest.

“Ya! If Kyuhyun saw you hugging her like that, Mi, he’s going to kill you,” Donghae interrupted. “You may be his favorite Chinese friend, but this is bordering on inappropriate.”

When Zhoumi let her go after much reluctance, Donghae then pulled her to him and hugged her instead. He threw a triumphant snicker down Zhoumi’s way as she laughed, realizing what he had done.

“Oh fishy, I’m going to miss you,” she mumbled through his shirt.

“What? Why?” Donghae asked curiously, pulling away.

“What?” she asked confusedly. Then, realizing her mistake, she amended, “I meant to say that I missed you.” She laughed. Donghae grinned and ruffled her hair before going off to interrupt Eunhyuk and Siwon’s conversation on the living room couch.

There was a wistful look on Jin Ri’s face as she watched the EunSiHae trio start up another one of their antics, which was making fun of Heechul, who was starting to look murderous by the second. Kibum, who was seated beside the second eldest hyung, was merely watching them with an amused look on his face. Taking a deep breath, she went back to cooking. She didn’t notice Zhoumi watching her the whole time.

After a while, with the help of Ryeowook, the food was finally cooked. Yesung, Kibum and Siwon all helped out to set the table and bring the food out.

“Wow everything looks so good, Jin,” Leeteuk appreciatively declared as he sat down. “Thank you for doing this!”

“Are you sure Kyuhyun’s okay with this?” Heechul teased, taking a seat beside the leader. “That magnae always gets jealous whenever you try to feed us.”

Jin Ri chuckled. “He really can’t do anything about it, can he? Since he’s at his schedule and all,” she reminded him.

“I think you should stop hanging out with Heechul hyung,” Shindong commented at what she said, laughing as he took his place across from the eldest hyungs.

“I can’t do that,” she said, shaking her head earnestly. “I love Heechul oppa too much.”

Heechul looked very much pleased at this statement. So he stood up and brought Jin Ri to a hug. “This girl,” he affectionately cooed. “You should come over more often,” he then told her, ruffling her hair and going back to his seat. “You’ve been too busy for us.”

“I would if I could,” she said apologetically.

As everyone started eating like hungry hyenas, Jin Ri just sat there, in between Heechul and Kibum, watching everyone. Feeding them like that always made her happy and gave her some sort of contentment. They all worked so hard at their craft each and every day. She knew how tired they all became and in knowing that food made them happy, she wanted to be able to always make them so by cooking them the best food she could muster to make.

“So how is everything, Jin?” Yesung asked, breaking the comfortable silence. She smiled and was just about to answer when he continued speaking. “Is that Shin Jae guy still bothering you?”

Siwon looked up from his plate and gave her a meaningful look, to which she merely shook her head at. Zhoumi, meanwhile, glanced at the two.

“He’s not,” she honestly answered. And he really wasn’t bothering her anymore. After what they talked about, she realized a lot of things. She also realized how wrong she was about him.

“If he bothers you again, don’t hesitate to let us know,” Yesung toughly added.

“What are you going to do about it?” Heechul asked, looking amused.

“He’s probably thinking of scaring him with his turtles,” Eunhyuk chimed in, laughing.

“Why, won’t that work?” Yesung asked, looking at the members, who had all burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter.

“It’ll work, oppa,” she said warmly, trying hard to suppress her own laughter. “Shin Jae has never been fond of turtles. It’ll definitely scare him.”

This seemed to just make the members laugh even more. Yesung frowned adorably so Jin Ri stood up and asked him to go with him to the kitchen to get the cake she baked for their dessert.

“I really hope that Shin Jae isn’t bothering you anymore,” Yesung repeated as he watched her slice the cake into equal parts. “Kyuhyun gets really worried whenever something troubles you and, of course, we all care about the two of you so we all become concerned as well.”

She put the knife down and turned to him, giving him a hug. “Oh oppa, don’t worry about me,” she said softly, almost a whisper. “I’m going to be fine. Just take care of Kyuhyun.”

“Can’t help it, Jin,” he mumbled, feeling a bit shy about being hugged. “You’re our little sister. We can’t help but take care of you, too.”

She pulled away and looked up at him. “Just… don’t worry so much, okay? Things are going to be fine.”

Yesung gave her a curious look, but smiled.

Her Strawberry Shortcake cake was met with various praises as they all eyed it hungrily, like they hadn’t just eaten mountains of food. Eunhyuk, especially, was drooling since he had a special liking to anything strawberry-flavored. Sungmin had to elbow him to wipe his mouth clean.

After eating dessert, Jin Ri brought the plates to the kitchen to start washing it, but the boys heavily protested, saying that she really shouldn’t bother with that since she fed them so well. Giving in, she sat down on the living room couch, in between Eunhyuk and Shindong.

“Thank you so much, Jin,” Eunhyuk said, rubbing circles on his stomach. “I don’t think I’ve had such a wonderful meal before.”

“Me, too,” Shindong agreed, leaning his head back on the couch.

“You’re all pigs,” Ryeowook yelled from the kitchen. He and Kibum had been tasked to wash the dishes, being the magnaes present. The other members, all lying comfortable in the living room floor, merely chuckled.

“Not you, Jin Ri,” Kibum corrected, nudging Ryeowook.

“Yeah, not you, Jin,” Ryeowook called out again.

“I think we should go and help them out,” she said, moving to stand up.

Shindong stopped her. “Don’t worry about it,” he assured her.

“It’s the magnaes’ job,” Yesung confirmed.

“If Kyuhyun were here, he’d be washing dishes too,” Sungmin added, smiling.

Leeteuk sighed contentedly. “I can’t wait for the next time you cook for us like this, Jin,” he remarked. “When’s that going to be?”

“Next week?” Siwon suggested, glancing at her.

She laughed, almost nervously. “It might be a while,” she answered truthfully. “This is why I made so much food today.” She grinned.

“I think this is going to last us days,” Heechul commented, chuckling. “I don’t know if I’ll ever feel hungry again.” He sighed. “Maybe I should start going to the gym.”

“You really should, hyung,” Kibum said, walking into the living room, followed by Ryeowook.

Heechul narrowed his eyes at the magnae. But when Kibum flashed his pearly whites at him, the older merely smirked and rolled his eyes. Kibum knew that Heechul could never really get mad at him.

It was those small things that made the boys so loveable. They all had quirks and little things that annoyed each one of them. But, at the end of the day, they all loved each other like brothers and would still do anything for each other. To be a part of such a circle was such an honor for Jin Ri. To be welcomed and to be embraced as one of their own was something that she never expected and was more than she had hoped for when she and Kyuhyun started dating. This, among other things, was what’s going to make them hate her.

“I should go,” she then said, standing up from her relaxed position on the couch.

“Already?” Donghae complained.

“I’m going to meet up Kyuhyun,” she reminded them, giggling at such a reaction.

“Ditch him,” Heechul ordered seriously.

Laughing, she told them, “I’ll leave first.”

After giving each and everyone of them a kiss on the cheek and a hug, she walked towards the door, followed by Zhoumi. She bit her lip and took a deep breath as she put her shoes and coat on. It really wouldn’t do to start crying just before she walked out of the door.

“Where are you going?” Zhoumi asked, leaning against the wall, his arms crossed on his chest.

“I’m going to meet Kyu at his schedule,” she repeated, smiling a little. “I promised to treat him somewhere after telling him that I was coming over to cook for you guys.”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I meant where are you going?” She shot him a confused look. “All night you seemed like you were saying goodbye to everyone so I want to know: where are you going?”

He really couldn’t help but notice how, whenever she managed to talk to a member, she always ended up hugging them so tightly like it was the last time she was going to see them. It made the members confused, wondering what was going on, and he was pretty sure that he wasn’t the only one who suspected that she was going to disappear on them. But he was the only one brave enough to ask her about it.

“I… Mimi…” she stammered, feeling flustered.

“You might as well tell him the truth, Jin,” Siwon told her, suddenly appearing behind the taller male. “I’m sure he’s not the only one who’s going to ask questions soon enough.”

“Oppa,” she mumbled, glancing at Siwon with shining eyes. “Please.”

“What is he talking about, Jin?” Zhoumi wanted to know, looking confused as he looked from Siwon to her.

When she didn’t say anything and merely looked down at the floor, Siwon sighed. “Jin Ri, I told you, if you do this to Kyuhyun… you’re not just going to lose him. You’re going to lose all of us.” 

Zhoumi’s eyes widened at this. But before he could say anything, she started to speak.

“Then that’s something I’m going to have to live with.”

~ * ~

“Princess! What took you so long?” Kyuhyun whined as soon as he saw Jin Ri walk into his dressing room. He stood up and gave her a kiss, not caring whether the hairstylists and other staff where in the room.

“I’m not late,” Jin Ri pointed out, blushing as the staff started teasing them. 

One by one they left the room, leaving them by themselves. It was then that Kyuhyun brought her to him once more and gave her a more passionate kiss, one that almost took her breath away, literally.

“You taste like strawberries,” he murmured as he continued kissing her.

“I baked a cake,” she answered, sighing contentedly, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Sorry, I didn’t bring you a slice. Your hyungs finished everything.”

“I don’t care,” he replied. To make his point clear, he leaned towards her again and kissed her, his tongue lining her lips.

Her knees weakened at this so she pushed him away before he could persuade her to go any further. It really didn’t take much for the two of them to get carried away in such activities. Kyuhyun didn’t even need words to win her over. His kisses were enough.

“Someone might come in,” she reminded him. When he ignored her and dipped his head towards her again, she placed her hands flat on his chest. “Besides, we have to get going. We have a lot to do.”

“Does it involve snuggles and cuddles?” he asked, smiling the cutest KidKyu smile he could muster. He knew how his girlfriend just loved those kinds of smiles of his.

True enough, Jin Ri’s heart just fluttered at the sight. Not helping herself, she stood on tiptoe and planted a kiss on his lips, stepping away just before he could deepen it. “If you’re good, there would definitely be snuggles and cuddles,” she told him, smiling.

The first place they went to was Dear Chocolate. Hand-in-hand, the couple entered the quaint and comfortable café. Kyuhyun smiled as the memories of the first time they went there came back to him, along with conversations on chocolates.

“What are we doing here?” he asked, looking at his girlfriend and squeezing her hand.

“To find some comfort,” she answered him sincerely.

After buying a couple of chocolates, they exited the place and headed towards Café Libro, where they decided to have some early dinner. They sat down on one of the more secluded tables and placed their orders.

“My princess, you look beautiful today,” Kyuhyun stated sweetly, reaching for her hand across the table.

She smiled and squeezed his hand. “And you, my prince, look as handsome as ever, but if you don’t stop with this cheesiness…” she trailed away with a warning note.

“Can’t I be cheesy even just for today?” he asked with an adorable pout on his lips. 

“Kyu, you’ve done enough cheesiness to last me a lifetime,” she told him, half teasing, half apologetic. “But, okay, since it’s a special day and all.” She chuckled when his pout turned into a huge grin.

“I love you,” he professed, leaning forward to give her knuckles a kiss. “That won’t ever change even if many more years pass.”

She smiled a little. “Really? Even if we end up hurting each other?”

“Why would we hurt each other?” he asked, looking a bit confused.

Shrugging, she responded, “Couples have their ups and downs. Sometimes, the downs seem to be graver than the ups where it would seem that things are never going to get better.”

“Princess, no matter what happens, I’m always going to love you the same way I love you now,” he promised.

Jin Ri bit her lip as she forced a smile. She hadn’t even started and already, her heart was breaking. She wished that she could go through this with only one heart broken, hers, but she knew that she wasn’t going to just break his—she would shatter it.

She did her best to be as upbeat and happy during their meal. They talked about things that had happened to them in the past; how they had met, the conversations they had, the phone calls, meeting each other’s family… There was so much that they had gone through together. Most of the things that were stuck in her head were the times when he promised her so much.


“What are you doing?” she demanded in almost a whisper.

“I know you’re scared,” he began quietly. “I know that you’d rather run away than be with me. But I want you to know that I’m going to do everything I can to make you happy, to assure you that things would be okay, to make your fears subside.” He paused, touching his cheek on hers. “It’s not going to be easy. We’re going to fight. We’re going to hate each other sometimes. You might even throw things at me.” He smiled when she chuckled. “But I promise you that I’m always going to come back to you because…” He got the plate from her hand and placed it on the sink. Then he turned her around to face him, looking into her eyes. “…because I’m sure about you. I just know that it’s you.”

“You know I would give it all up for you if you tell me to,” he avowed, piercing her eyes with his. “Just one word from you…”

“And you know that I would never do that to you,” she gently countered. “I would never take what you love away from you.”

“Then I hope you’re not going to do something to take yourself away from me,” he responded. “Like running away.”

“Don’t you dare,” he directed in a low voice she rarely heard him use. He gathered her in his arms and closed his eyes as he leaned his head against hers. “Princess, you told me once that you were done running away. But, if one day, you decide to run again,” he continued, pulling away so he could look into her eyes. “I’ll still go after you… so I can run with you.”

“I have something for you,” he then said, smiling like a little kid as he pushed himself off of her.

A silver necklace was lowered in front of her and clasped around her neck. He moved to sit down beside her, admiring her wearing the piece of jewelry he had picked out himself. She smiled as she felt the pendant. It was in Japanese.

“Do you know what it says?” he asked.

“Eternity,” they chorused.

He smiled, looking pleased with himself. “It’s my word for us,” he softly and shortly announced.


And then there were the promises she had made to him and for him…

“It’s none of my business and I don’t really know what’s going on, but…” He paused and looked at her in the eye. “I hope you don’t do anything to hurt Kyuhyun. I haven’t seen him as happy before he had you in his life. I don’t know what it is, but please don’t take it away from him.”

Jin Ri felt like she had no choice but to promise. “I’ll do my best,” she assured him.

“Please just let me get this out,” she insisted, shaking her head. “I know it doesn’t make sense and I’m probably thinking too much, but I just want you to know that this time I know.” She looked intently into his eyes, hoping that he understood what she meant. She hoped that he heard what she couldn’t say out loud. “I just know,” she repeated, biting her lip and averting her gaze from his.

“It scares me so much,” she continued, more softly this time. “It’s scares me to the point where I don’t think I can do it…” She lifted her eyes to his. “I’m sorry.”

“Jin Ri,” he began again.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to run away,” she interrupted, smiling a little. “I told you that I was done and I am.”

“I hope you don’t think I did it because I don’t trust you. It won’t happen again.”

“No more secrets?” Kyuhyun whispered, leaning his face closer to hers.

“No more secrets,” Jin Ri whispered back, lifting her face to close the distance between them to kiss him.


She then realized that all the promises she had made, she was going to break. Biting her lip, she gripped her fork tightly.

“Are you okay?” Kyuhyun’s voice interrupted her thoughts.

She blinked and looked at him, forcing a smile on her lips. “Yeah,” she lied.

~ * ~

Dinner had come and gone. It was time for the highlight of their date. It was September and the weather had started to get cold, but not cold enough for snow to form and fall. So she decided to look for a place that would be closest to what a cold winter day would be like.

“The Ice Gallery?” Kyuhyun blurted out as soon as he saw the entrance. He looked at his girlfriend, a big grin on his face. “Really?”

“Really,” Jin Ri chuckled, nodding. “We have the place all to ourselves, too.”

After picking the warmest and most comfortable winter clothes, they hurried inside. As Jin Ri expected, Kyuhyun ran around the place like a little kid, as if it was the first time he had been there, as if it was his first time seeing ice.

She watched as her boyfriend pose with every ice sculpture she say and dutifully took pictures of him. She laughed as he slipped one time because of being overly excited running around. They took pictures in the igloo, posed on the slide, pretended to type on the computer, posed with the villagers, as well as with the different country landmarks.

After a while, he seemed to have gotten tired. He had started to look for a place to sit when he saw the ice castle. He suddenly pulled her and they both crouched down to go inside.

“One day, princess, we’re going to have a palace of our own, where we’ll make lots of little princes and princesses,” Kyuhyun proudly declared.

“Is that all we’ll do in our palace?” Jin Ri responded teasingly.

“In the beginning anyway,” he replied sheepishly.

They took a picture inside and outside of the castle.

It was when he was standing still in the middle of all the beautiful ice around them that she knew she had to do it already. She couldn’t prolong it any longer. So she walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I had fun today,” she told him.

“Me too,” he said, kissing her nose.

“I’m going to remember this day forever,” she then stated. “I’m going to remember you… like this.”

She gave him a long look, taking a picture of him in her mind. She had memorized every bit of his face and every facial expression he had. But this was the happiest she’d seen him in a while and she wanted to remember it, even after what she was going to do.

“So I wrote this song,” she began softly, taking a deep breath.

He smiled happily. “Let’s hear it.”

She leaned her head on his chest as he hugged her middle, slowly moving in a slow dance. She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing the tears back.

“Already, the summer scent of this road
helps erase the torments of my past.
The blinding sunlight,
When I shade my eyes,
My fingertips seemed bathed in red.

The circle I secretly drew on the number,
On the calendar is suddenly tomorrow.
I set out my favorite clothes,
Thinking of what your expression may be.

Pure as the sea,
Your child-like eyes and your smile,
Keep showing up.
In my eyes, the beam of light,
I give a sigh then laugh,
At the end of a difficult day.

Who will take care of you?
Who will love you?”

“Princess, what are you—?” Kyuhyun began, starting to pull away.

“Shh,” Jin Ri insisted, clinging onto him and continuing with the song with a new shakiness to her voice.

“I am out of breath, up to my chin.
The wind blows above my head.
I run with all my strength.
This may be the last gift I give to you.

My tears flow.
No, they’re just the beads of sweat
Flowing from my face
I will act nonchalant like before,
And give a sweetest goodbye.

My darling love,
I’m sorry.”

Jin Ri started to cry. Kyuhyun pulled away and got a good look at her. So he was right. He had an inkling feeling that she was up to something. He didn’t know how he knew. It was just in the way she’d been acting, not just today, but in the days that had passed. It was like she was savoring all the time she spent with him.

“Princess,” he sternly asked, “why are you doing this?”

She merely shook her head and hugged him again.

“I am out of breath, up to my chin.
The wind blows above my head.
I run with all my strength.
This may be the last gift I give to you.
Only for you.

Without you,
How can I? How can I?
Tomorrow morning I’m scared
How will I face the many nights?

I’ll give you a sweetest goodbye.

My tears flow.
No, they’re just the beads of sweat
Flowing from my face
You can’t be sad when I am not here.
Like a dummy, don’t cry.
You will be alright.
Live well.
My love, good—.”

“Jin Ri, stop it!” he demanded angrily. He grabbed her arms and shook her lightly. “Stop it! Stop this!”

She shook her head and looked up at her, her lashes wet with tears. “I’m sorry, Kyuhyun. I can’t… I can’t be with you anymore. Shin Jae and I—.”

“You already told me about the engagement,” he interrupted harshly. “And I told you that I understood, right? Why are you doing this? What did I do wrong?”

When she had told him about her renewed engagement with Shin Jae, he couldn’t believe his ears. He could almost hear the cracking sound of his heart, but there wasn’t anything he could do. All he was sure of was that as long as Jin Ri loved him and not her ex-best friend, everything was going to be okay. And he really thought everything was going to be fine because they were together, because they would go through things hand-in-hand.

“I can’t be with you and be engaged to someone else,” she told him. “It’s unfair to you.”

“Have I ever complained? Did I make you feel uncomfortable about that?” he pleaded. He knew he sounded desperate, but he didn’t care. If she was leaving him, he was going to do everything to make her stay.

“No,” she responded, shaking her head. 

“Princess, don’t do this,” he sobbed, grabbing onto her and hugging her tightly. “Don’t leave me.”

Wiping the tears falling on her cheeks and pushing him away, she implored, “Please, Kyuhyun, stop making this harder than it already is.”

Before he could say anything else, she lifted her face to his and kissed him like she had never kissed him before. He clung onto her, fiercely kissing her back. He wrapped his arms tighter around her waist, almost crushing her to him, while she entangled her fingers with the hairs on the back of his head.

As frantically as she clung onto him, she then harshly pushed him away and took a couple of steps back. “I’m… going now,” she mustered up the courage to say. “Don’t come after me.” She turned around and started to walk away.

“I promised you, princess,” he called after her, his voice breaking, but not moving to go after her. It didn’t seem like anything he did would stop her from going. “That I’m always going to go after you, just like you promised me that you weren’t going to run anymore.”

She stopped in her tracks, but didn’t look back. “Promises are meant to be broken.” Then without another word, she left.

Kyuhyun stood there. He was lost. He was broken. His heart was shattered into a million little pieces that he didn’t know could ever be fixed if she was really going to be gone for good. It was supposed to be a special day for them. It was their anniversary. It was on that day that she finally admitted her feelings to him. It was on that day that they started going out as middle schoolers. It was on that day, a year ago, that he knew for sure that she was it for him.

His legs gave way and he collapsed on the icy floor. The box of chocolates that they had bought earlier sat in front of him. He realized that she bought comfort for him, because he was the magnae who enjoyed warmth and comfort. He opened the box and saw that the chocolates had frozen like a rock. There was no comfort for him there. She had taken it all with her.

---
Song used: Goodbye, my love by Sung Si Kyung