POV DARA

 The night danced away from me in a swift motion. I felt the sensation of her lips on mine. A almost uncontrollable desire overwhelmed me into kissing her back. We said nothing when we finally got off the ferris wheel and made our way home. I held her hand while pretending to sleep. In reality I was just so overjoyed and did not want Chaerin to see me excited. Chaerin however I could see by cracking my eyes open slightly had a grand smile on her face. Her beauty was much more appreciative after the kiss. God Damn... Was she always this beautiiful? Every once in a while I catch her glance at me and she fist pumped the air. Oh Chaerin could you understand the complexity of my thoughts? You, You've always been certain about who you are. Me? Not so much. Last night proves I still have one or two unsolved mysteries about myself. I get to thinking what my mother will think of all this. Will she reject me? Will she accept me? This thought disturbs me. Finally we arrive arrive to my house and you nudge me slightly.

"Hey, Dara get up c'mon you're home" Lazily I pretend to arise from a slumber.

"...oh already ok.." As I get out I notice the lights in my house still on.

"Hey Chae, what time is it?" I glance at Chaerin.

"Getting close to 1 we were out pretty late" 1 am? my mother's probably waiting for me. Just as the thought develops the door opens.

"Dara is that you? C'mon in I've waited all night for you!" My mother clearly fails to acknowledge that Chaerin is right next to me.

"Huh? Wait is that you too Chaerin? Why don't you spend the night it's pretty late!" My mother looks at the two of us standing in the doorway with a shawl around her shoulders.

"Oh thank you Ms. Park but I'll be fine heading home don't worry about me" Chae throws me a look. Hmm maybe you do understand I need to figure myself. Thank you chae.

"Ok please drive safe" My mother retreats back inside as she waits for me to say bye. I turn to stand in front of Chae.

"Listen Chae thank you for everything tonight, I absolutely adored all of it." It is dark and hard to distinguish but I am sure Chaerin is blushing.

"It was no problem I'll be seeing you soon shrimpy" I grab Chaerin and hug her close to me in a tight hug. When I release her Chaerin moves in for a kiss. I place my hands on her shoulders.

"Chae.. please not now... I don't want my mom to catch us... I'm sorry" Chaerin isn't upset by this she understands.

"Ok I understand well goodbye then shrimpy" Chaerin is about to walk away when I grab her by the wrist and spin her around once more I hug her. This time though I take this oppurtunity to slyly give her a kiss on the cheek.

"Maybe next time" I whisper in her ear. Chae smiles and get into her car. I wave her off into the darkness of the night. The darkness that seems to consume her black lamborghini till it is no more. Promply after I dismiss myself to my room and flop onto my bed. With no light but a flickering candle I ponder deeply. That kiss meant nothing but everything to me. I felt it with the entirety of my being. It felt like it was resonating within me. What does it mean though? Is Chaerin my girlfriend now? My first lover? And a woman at that? I begin to think of all the crushes I had had over the years. Nothing was clicking. But I remember many times where I had found certain women flawlessly beautiful. Was it ual desire I could not understand? How could I know I don't like the male counterpart when I have had no interaction with them. Now this is not entirely true I had a male best friend throughout primary school. But that connection is not what I felt with Chaerin. Chaerin my first lover, how did I get so lucky? After a while I grew very drowsy and developed moderately drowsy thoughts. Ok so if we get hypothetically get married who proposes? I imagine Chaerin refusing to propose and simply throwing me the engagement ring. She'd something like "Surprise Shrimpy we're getting married" All cooly while staring out the bedroom of her window. I don't know why but I laughed wildly at the thought. Yes it was getting close to 3 am and I, Dara, was laughing loudly. I found it hard to stop until my brother banged the wall begging me to stop. I finally allowed myself to drift off to sleep.

When I awoke I saw a note by my bed.

Dear Dara,

Chaerin called. She said to call her back soon. She seemed excited are you two planning something? Have a good day!

- Mom

Hmm well ok. I grab the phone and call up Chaerin. Chaerin picks up on the first ring.

"Dara?"

"Yes it's me dara"

"Do you want to come over?"

"Why?"

"So we can talk. I think I can help you understand yourself."

"Ok I'll come" 

"Excellent I'm on my way to get you right now"

"Ok see you then" I danced around a little happy to be able to see my Chae. My Chae? Not mine yet hahaha. I put a nice outfit on with a touch of very lovely perfume. Hopefully Chaerin likes it. I glance at myself in the mirror. You know I'm actually quite lovely, why did it take so long for me to find someone? Well besides the fact that I did not consider I was attracted to the same , school was constantly on my mind. I hear the screech of tires and know Chae has arrived. I walk out to see her leaning on her car. Today shes is wearing a black band tshirt and some ripped up jeans. I bite my lip slightly. Damn even she can make something so simplistic incredibly desireable. I walk up to her and kiss her hungrily on the lips. She tastes just like coffee. 

"Dara what are you doing I thought last night you said we couldn't do this here?" Chae looks both pleased and horrorified by my kiss.

"My mom and siblings left ages ago"

"Not here Dara the neighbors might see us, come on lets go to my house we'll have plenty of privacy. What can I say she's right she owns lots of acres and is able to make as much noise as she desires. We drive in silence to her house. The silence occasionally broken by Chae singing along to the radio. She sings heavenly, after our kiss yesterday I find myself analyzing her more and placing beauty where I had failed to notice it before. When we got to her house she lead us straight to her room. 

"So shrimpy we are here let's talk" I shook my head slowly.

"Chae, I don't know who I am.." Chae gave me a concerned look.

"When I say this I mean I am not sure where I identify on the whole ualty spectrum"

"Ah I see." Chaein nods her head

"Chaerin how did you know you are who you are?" I stare eagerly at her. I take a seat in one of her armchairs and she sits in one across from me. 

"A lesbian? Just say it as it is. Now I don't believe in labeling at times but to be frank I am not in the least bothered in labeling myself. Yes Dara I am a lesbian. You on the other hand have yet to determine who you are. What are your concerns mainly"

"Umm mainly that I can't tell if I feel anything towards a guy" 

"Ok I see, well I got over that very easily. I had a boyfriend once and I lost my ity to him. I had with him a couple of times, but never really felt anything. Don't get me wrong he was a good guy but the way I connected to him was not like I had with girls. I did not expierence the same type of passion for him as I did for a woman. I also kissed other guys too and nothing really worked. Eventually I accepted that I was only attracted to women and her I am across a dashingly beautiful woman." Chae winked at me and cracked a smile.

"Ok how about this Chae totally random idea, let's got to the club tonight and pick up some guys" 

"Bleh why would I want to?"

"You want to help me figure myself out don't you?" 

"Yes but..."

"But what?" Chae scoots in closer and kisses me hard.

"I don't feel like sharing you" I peck her back. There is a deep intensity, a fierceness in her eyes.

"Just one night" 

"Only one?"

"Yes" Chaerin lets go of my face and laughs.

"Just this once then, to help you figure it  all out" 

"It's not like we're dating anyways Chae why are you worried?" Chae withdraws her smile and looks at me very seriously.

"Because I obviously want you as my girlfriend, what would happen if you fall for someone else huh?"

"Just shut up and kiss me" Chae sits and files her nails keeping up her bad girl attitude. She then lays in her bed.

"C'mon Chae kiss me" I jump on top of her nibbling her ear. At first she just lays there arms crossed while I nibble away. But her will is easily broken and lets me kiss her.

"You're lucky I'm partially in love with you shrimpy" 

"Partially what do you mean?" I laugh.

"Nothing forget it. Lets go find you something hot to wear tonight"

"No please Chae just lay her for a few more"

"Gah fine then" Chaerin holds me from behind.

"You smell like what I imagine heaven would smell like" I smile. I'm glad you liked it Chae. 

"For the record I'm partially in love with you too" We both laugh. We end up dozing off a bit. What vivid dreams did come in that brief slumber. They were absolutely beautiful. As of now life was insanely beautiful.