Day 357 (a few days before)

Today I'm going to meet Gikwang. I'm glad that Gikwang is still my firend after all that happened....

We agreed to meet at 6pm. I'm already at the restaurant waiting for Gikwang to arrive. After a few minutes I can see Gikwang heading near to me.

Annyong Dongwoon.

Annyong Gikwang.

Gikwang sits down towards me. So....did you already order something?

No....not yet. I wanted to wait until you arrived....so....we wanted to drink alcohol, right?

Now the waiter arrived. We ordering our drinks. 

I support my arms on the desk. ...Yesterday you said someting happened to you?

Yes....I never told you about it, but I'm in love with a women for quite a long time....I got to know her through one  of my relatives. She was always very nice to me and I knew that she wanted more than just friendship. But at that time I was overwhelmed and confused....I have to say, that I'm not good in talking to women. I can only talk when I'm in a club and drunk....  He is scratching his head. Well....I finally made up my mind a few days ago. I met her and told her that I feel the same way for her.....but instead of being happy she was quite shocked and told me that she already have a boyfriend. So what am I supposed to do now?

Puh....that's a good question. I can only imagine what you  are going trough....do you think she is happy with him?

I'm not shure.....I never met his boyfriend....and she looked the same way as always.

Mmmh.....it would be the best, if you just wait and see what happenes next.

She always was so innocent....she told me, that she never had a real relationship with a man before....but suddenly she got a boyfriend...

I can understand that you are upset right now...but there's nothing you can really do. If you want her to be happy you need to let go....I wouldn't do anything as long as you would notice that he isn't right for her.

You're right....that should be the best....what about you? What happend to you?

Well...I don't want to beat around the bush....You should know Doojoon, right?

Yes, you told me that you live in his apartment.

....I got to know that he had cancer and he is already in hospital for a vew weeks....We both know that there won't me much time left.....It hurts to see him like that.....

He is tapping my back I'm really sorry to hear that....I know...when a good friend is sick, it can make you sad....

Yes....but for me he is more than that.....

He looks at me with his eyes wide open.

It's the truth....I say this, because I trust you....I love him....

Y-you...what? So you are... Gikwang is holding his hands in front of his mouth. I'm sorry, I didn't want to sound mean....but I never thought, that you could be gay....well I should have notice it by the way you are easy-going with women.

That's how it is....but I can't do anything to help him....We don't have much time left.....I can only care for him as long as possible.... I'm looking down while a tear is rolling over my face....

Mmmh...what if you two pledge one's troth?

What do you mean? It isn't allowed to marry...

I know....but you can do it alone. You just need a ring then you can suprise him.

I'm not shure.....Doojoon would be overwhelmed....and I know that he always tries to keep a distance between us so I won't hurt me....

That's the exact problem....of course, he don't want to make everything harder as it is....but that doesn't change your feelings for each other, so why hold everything in? Right now you two should show your feelings without any fear...You should already know, that waiting for the right moment is wrong. You should do it as long as you can. Otherwise you will regret it later on.

I think you're right....we should spend our remaining time with joy. I will start preparing anything, today.

Okay....I'll help you. Do you already have a day in your mind?

Yes...

Day 359 (Holy Night)

I'm taking my scarf off....then I'm swaddling the scarf around Doojoon's neck. I can see that Doojoon is smirking...

That's not all....I still have another present for you....

I'm rummaging my bag. I'm getting a small box out then I'm getting on my knees. Doojoon is looking at my with a startled expression.

Doojoon.....Do you want to marry me?

But Wonnie....that's not possible....please just stand up before anyone sees us.

No....I won't stay up until you give me your answer.

Wonnie...Please...understand....

I'm already understanding....but that doesn't mean that we can't love each other right now....so what do you say? Yes or No? Please hurry....my legs are already getting cold....

He flexes his upper body so that his face is near to my ear. He wisperes:

....Yes...

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