Yunho’s POV

The phone in my back pocket kept vibrating but I chose to ignore it. Sipping the drink in my hand, while looking at the vast scenery of the skyline of Seoul. The arrival of this child will no doubt change everything. It will bind Jiyeon and Jaejoong closer whereas for me, I will never be the parent of the child. Even though Jaejoong has time and again emphasized that we will both be the parents of the child and my wish would be fulfilled. But no, I was unable to do this, do this to Jiyeon and Hyerim, I will just always be the uncle.

Hyerim is my responsibility and it is weighing me down like never before. Its funny that I always thought that I will be the one that is so eager for a child that I may get Jaejoong to do this for me, never in my wildest dream that I thought that it would be the other way round. Now it has turned into reality. I need to make a decision now and whatever that I choose to do will set us down different paths. But at the back of my mind, I was acutely aware that in the end, I would go along with whatever crazy plan Jaejoong has installed for us.

Just like his plan of getting married, seeing him down the aisle, at first I thought that it would be fine as long as his heart will always be mine. But I felt very jealous and was so tempted to pull him into my arms there and then. Also, when Jiyeon got pregnant and as her tummy grew, my anxiety grew too and thus I distanced myself away from him.

I felt tired of playing all these sick games and keeping on a façade all the time. I wanted to show the world how I really feel, love in such a way that it was open for all to see. Love him with all my heart and hug him that tightly that people will have to turn away. This was the kind of loving that I had in mind but I knew that we had too much to loose. Far too much for this, this was not child’s play. Thus, it will always just remain a sick and selfish dream of mine.

Every time I thought of how Jaejoong would react to this dream of mine, I will just rather everything remain as status quo. I chuckled bitterly to myself, wanting everything to remain status quo, till I met Hyerim. She was someone similar to Jaejoong in nearly every way was why I was drawn into her.

She was such a capable woman; with such powerful backing was what contributed to the sense of confidence and haughtiness that she displays for all to see.  She was a head turner too and the best part was that her words go unfiltered and this shows how candid she is. Her cold exterior and dangerous mouth reminds me of someone, the love of my life. Sometimes, my memories with Hyerim will be replaced with Jaejoong’s face. I shook my head, downing the drink that I had.

I know that it is very unfair for her but I got into a relationship with her cause I thought I could relinquish the innocent times I had with him. As time passes, I realized that she is so vulnerable and right then that I decided she was my responsibility as I made her so dependent on me. She was more vulnerable than Jaejoong.

I had a choice then to visit Jaejoong and Jiyeon to welcome the arrival of their son as Hyerim was on a business trip. However, it was the thought and responsibility of wanting to do right that kept me on the couch watching the skyline of Seoul and it also kept the phone in my pocket.

Jaejoong’s reaction and disappointment, I dared not think about it for fear that I will run back into his arms once more. At least he has a child and Jiyeon, whereas Hyerim needs me. Turning my back against my love, I looked out of the window and thought if what else is needed for the wedding that is a month away.

Jaejoong’s POV

Standing outside the nursery, I saw our son and that he would be that most perfect creature ever. I have already thought of how good his life would be. Many people willing to indulge in him and give him all of their love. All except for him, but I dare not expect much anyway. I reached for my phone once more and dialed his number. I sighed as I returned the phone to my back pocket. He had offed his phone. I really do not know what is going through his mind. Fear gripped me as I felt the desperate need to see him now.

I walked back to the ward and saw Jiyeon sound asleep with my mum hovering around her. My parents seem very pleased with having a grandson to spoil and to carry on the family’s name. I felt relieved, as I believe that I am doing the right thing.

As I made my way to his apartment, I do not care if Hyerim is there. I just wanted to make sure that Yunho’s heart is still with me. I will be able to know just by looking at him. That was how insecure I am, desperately clinging onto Yunho. I feel so pathetic. I made my way to his apartment and knocked on the door.

His wide opened eyes showed me that he was not prepared to face me. After which he said curtly, “ Come in.” At that time, I was too far-gone that I did not notice the frost-laden words that came out of his mouth. I was just that thankful that he was willing to see me and invited me to his house.

I rushed into the house as the door closed behind him. I smiled brilliantly and exclaimed, “ The baby is out! It’s a boy!” I was expecting him to smile and be excited by the child’s arrival, but all he did was to turn his head away and murmured, “ I am getting married to Hyerim in a month’s time,”

His words hit home. My worst fear is playing out right in front of my eyes. I was going to lose Yunho. I started thinking back on all the things that I might have done wrong but nothing came to my mind. After which, my insecurities fed all the reasons that popped into my mind. Maybe she is prettier than me; maybe she can satisfy Yunho and cause she is a woman.

The last reason stood out clearly from the rest. I think I finally understood that Yunho and I are not meant to be. But a tiny part of me told me that Yunho and I were one. After 15 years, yunho is officially getting out if my life. I know that I would not be able to survive it but it seems like he is sick and tired of me. I understand, after so long.

The stunned expression on my face gave way to a smile. I tried to give him my brightest smile and forced congratulation out of my mouth and told him I should go.

I could no longer stay in this place. This place is their love nest. How could I bear, 15 years of relationship all for nought. I really thought that I could have lost my mind there and then. Pushing myself out of the door, I just know one thing for sure is that I need to put as much distance from the door as possible.

-To be continued-