At a coffee shop, Amber's POV 

So for the following weeks, I did what I said. I stayed far away from her. I never helped her carry her things anymore, I always walked ahead of her so I can't see her, and believe me, it's not easy to smile whenever we have performances especially for our song All Night. It's a sweet, happy song and we need to look as if we're in love. I was, and that hurt even more. My members of course noticed that I'm not as lively as I used to be. I don't know, it's like my happiness ran away from me. I never checked on Kryber sites anymore, and I don't even search about us on the internet. I'm trying to move on, I'm trying to bring back the happy Amber she has taken away. Fortunately, I got an offer to be a host for A Song For You together with Kangin oppa and Sungjae. I gladly took it because it will be a new world for me. I'll meet other people, other artists, and hopefully soon, I'll forget about her. She's currently filming her drama, My Lovely Girl, with Rain oppa and L. Lucky guys. Guys. Yes. They're lucky because they're guys. They can get close to her, they can hold her hand, they can be sweet towards her, and it will make people's hearts flutter because they're guys. But me, I just looked like a guy. My appearance never bothered me, actually I'm very comfortable with the way I dress, but it all changed because of her. Now, I feel like I'm an alien, that I don't belong here, that maybe Korean people were just so kind to accept me with this style. Who knows? Maybe others are cringing their noses or having goosebumps when they see me. Good thing, my friends are always by my side, still supporting me. I'm very thankful, because they accepted me.

"Amber.. Hey Amber.." I was startled as the girl in front of me called my name.

"Huh?" 

"Hey... we came here because you said you wanted some frappe but you're not even touching it." said Min with her annoyed expression.

"Sorry... I was just thinking about something."

"Something? Or someone?" I looked at her defeatedly.

"Am... how can you forget if she's always on your mind?"

"I'm trying, okay? Do you think it's that easy?"

"Well at least show us that you're okay."

"I am... I just sometimes miss her, that's all. That's normal, right?" Min only nodded.

"Oh... Ailee called. She's asking if we wanna go skateboarding tonight at Han River."

"Hmm... that actually sounds like a great idea." I said as my mood changed quickly.

"Okay, I'll tell her we're in."

"Hey... I need to get back to the dorm now... I have filming for AS4U."

"Really? Who are your guests for today?"

"Mm.. f(x)." When I said that, Min gave me a look.

"Don't worry, she won't be there."

"Okay. Well, see you later. Don't forget!" I hurriedly went to the dorm and got my things. Vic unnie and Luna were already in the studio I think. Go Amber go!

A Song For You Location

"This is The Global Request Show, A Song For You!"

"So, who are our guests for today, Amber?" asked Kangin oppa.

"Oohh... I think you will be really interested. Our guests for today is f(x)!"

"Wow! Your members!" said Sungjae.

"So Sungjae, who among the f(x) members do you like most?" asked Kangin oppa.

"Ah... uhm... the maknaes.."

"Maknaes?"

"Yeah... Krystal and Sulli.. Haha!"

"So... if you were at the sea and both of them were drowning, who would you save?" Kangin oppa was teasing Sungjae.

"Uhm... oh.. it's hard... but I think... Krystal." When he said that, somehow, there was a pang in my chest because I would never get to be asked that question. I just laughed pretending that it was really funny for me. We then entered the studio to meet my members. Sulli wasn't with us too since she went on hiatus because of issues and controversies so it was just Vic unnie, Luna and me. We played a lot of games, we talked about a lot things, and had fun reading the requests from our global fans. Then, there it is, someone requested for Luna and I to sing Goodbye Summer. Imagine if Krystal was here, it would be so awkward, right? While playing the guitar, and singing the lyrics, her face flashed in my head. I felt what I felt when I was writing it. Now, I'm starting to hate my own song. Wish I never wrote it, so I don't have to sing it. Still,  I managed to end the chorus properly. Throughout the whole episode, I just had fun with Vic unnie and Luna. I don't want them to be affected by this problem I have. We ended filming successfully. We thanked the directors and the staff i and went home with my members.

"Hey, Soojungie's drama teaser will be out tonight! Let's watch it!" exclaimed Vic unnie.

"Okay!" exclaimed Luna.

"Unnie, I will meet Min and Ailee tonight." I said.

"It will only be for a few seconds." she said. "Let's show our support for Soojung, even Sulli will watch it at her home."

"Okay..."

When  we arrived at the dorm, Vic unnie prepared for dinner while Luna and I stayed in the living room. Luna was so excited about the teaser that she didn't want to change the channel, too afraid that we would miss it. After a few minutes, it finally came on.

"Unnie faster! It's on it's on." Vic unnie quickly ran and sat beside us. Krystal, I can only be near you when you're on TV. Will we be like this forever? I asked myself. The teaser only ran less than a minute.

"Ohh I'm so excited!" said Vic unnie.

"Me too! I think it would be a great drama." I just smiled. I think it would be great too.

"Well... I'm going now okay?" I exclaimed as I stood up from the couch.

"Okay but don't be out too late."

"Yes." As I got on my car, I pulled my phone from my pocket, and clicked "New message". Just one message.

To: Ddyoodyungie

         We saw your drama teaser today. Congratulations. I'm so proud of you.

Should I send it? I was contemplating. I inhaled deeply then hit send. I stared at my phone. She won't reply, right? I lazily put my phone on the passenger's seat then drove off.

Krystal's POV

I'm on a break now. I just finished a scene and just waiting for the next so I'm just resting here in the van. I was about to reply to Sulli's message when Amber's name suddenly popped up.

From: Stupid

         We saw your drama teaser today. Congratulations. I'm so proud of you.

I stared at the screen. It's the first time she sent me a message since we had that talk. I read her message over and over again. She still bothered to congratulate me, she's still proud of me after what I did. Amber, why are you still kind to me? You make me miss you more. I can't help it, I clicked on reply.

To: Stupid

         Thank you.

After sending it, the directors called us again for the next scene.

Amber's POV

I met my friends at Han River and since we'll be skateboarding, I decided to leave my phone in the car. I love the feeling of skateboarding, the wind just blowing on my face and it feels like I'm flying. This is freedom, no one can judge me, I'm just playing, enjoying life. When we got tired, Min, Ailee, and I decided to lay on the grass.

"Uhm... do you think, the stars also watch us like this?" I asked the two.

"What do you mean?" asked Ailee.

"Like, they're also pointing at us, giving us names, saying "Oh.. that's a pretty human, that's my human." I said making the two chuckle. "That would be great, right? Someone admiring you, not because of how you look, but because of who you are." Sensing that I'm thinking about Krystal again, the two got up and pulled me.

"Hey, what are you guys doing?!" I said as I fight their strong grip. "Why are we walking towards the river?! You guys aren't gonna push me, are you? Are you?!" I said in panic.

"Go.. shout..." Ailee said as they released my arms.

"What?"

"Release everything here, Amber. You have to let everything go. All your fears, all your frustrations, anger, hatred, shout it out." said Min.  

"But..." 

"We'll give you time." Ailee said as she dragged Min with her. They went somewhere else and gave me my time. I stared at the river. All my feelings are all locked up here in my heart. It's time to release it, all of it.

"KRYSTAL JUNG! I'M SORRY!!! SORRY FOR EVERYTHING! I DIDN'T MEAN TO, IT JUST HAPPENED! I JUST FELT IT! I TRIED TO STOP IT BUT I COULDN'T! I'M STILL TRYING, I'M STILL FIGHTING! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO CONTROL MYSELF FROM RUNNING AFTER YOU! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I STOPPED MYSELF FROM CALLING YOU?! IF ONLY MY HEART AND BRAIN HAVE RESET BUTTONS, I WOULD GLADLY PRESS THEM. I WOULD PRESS THEM SO I WOULDN'T REMEMBER YOU! AND FOR EVERYONE WHO FEEL BOTHERED BECAUSE OF HOW I LOOK AND HOW I ACT, SORRY BUT I CAN'T CHANGE MYSELF ANYMORE. THAT WOULD TOO MUCH. PLEASE, ACCEPT ME, THIS IS ME, I CAN'T BE ANYONE ELSE." I screamed my heart out until my voice became hoarse. Tears fell from my eyes along with the burden I have inside. I used all my strength that my knees became weak and I knelt on the ground. I was crying so hard that it was too difficult to breathe. I just stayed down, weeping, pouring everything out. Ailee and Min ran towards me and hugged me. 

"I love her... I still do... no matter what I do, I still care, she's still here..." I said barely making the whole sentence understandable. "Why is this love so wrong? Why can't I love her? Why can't I?" I said still crying in their arms. "Didn't she feel anything for me? Didn't I make her heart flutter, even once? Didn't I make her happy? The whole time, wasn't I special to her, too? If she didn't feel anything, if she didn't like it, then why did she let me? I felt it... I know... we had something..."

"Am, we can't give you answers to your questions... all we know is you're a good person... we would never hate you."

"Can I just love her secretly, I won't go near her... I won't bother her... just let me love her." I begged.

"Am, don't be like this. This is not you... I can't bare seeing you like this, man." Min said while tears start to form from her eyes too.

"Yeah Llama... come on... Keep it together dude..." said Ailee in her teary voice. I eventually calmed down after a few minutes and the three of us decided to go home. When I got on my car, I checked my phone for messages. My heart stopped as I saw her name on the screen. I opened the message and read it. Just two words, but she replied. Now it got me confused. Why did she reply? I thought she didn't want to do anything with me anymore. Throughout my whole ride, my mind was filled with questions. What does this mean? I can't understand.

I reached our dorm and parked my car. When I got off, I heard a car door closed from the other side. I saw her, she just got out of her car too. She noticed me and she stopped from walking, we were just staring at each other the whole time. I wanted to look away but, I can't. I miss her, I miss seeing her face. Let me just look at her a little longer.

Krystal's POV

She was staring back at me. Her eyes, her kind eyes met mine. She was just looking at me. I wanted to go near her, but my feet won't move. She reached out her phone and put it near her ear. Then I saw my phone light up. She's calling me. I was hesitating. Will I answer it or not? My phone has been ringing a few times now but she still won't drop it. I finally pressed the green button and put the phone near my ear.

"Hello Ddyooddungie... I just wanted to say hi. I called you because I can't be near you. So just let me talk to you like this." She paused for a while before continuing. "I also wanted to say, that... it's okay... everything is okay... and... I hope.. we can be back to normal again... treat me as your friend again... I promise, I won't go near you as much as before... just.. I want us to be okay again.. I hope we can be like normal groupmates... like everyone else... I still want you to be my friend. I still want you to be my princess, and I still want to be your stupid... let's be friends. I hope someday, you'll let me."

After speaking, she ended the call and gave me a smile. I felt like crying that I turned around and walked away. I didn't know what to do. I don't hate her, I never hated her. I was just scared. I went straight to my room and dropped myself on my bed. I opened my gallery and looked at the pictures we had when we were in New Zealand. I remembered how much fun we had when we were at the farm, when we were on the trailer. I admired her the most when she went bungee jumping first so Luna unnie won't be scared. I also remembered how she supported Sulli during their scuba diving lessons. She was very caring, very loving, not just to me, but to everyone. But what I miss the most, is the way she looks at me, the way she makes herself look silly just for me, the way she protects me. She never left me, never let me down, but I did. Even today, she still remembered me, she's still there. I felt tears rolling on my cheeks as I look at her pictures. She's one of a kind, am I ready to lose someone like her in my life?

Author's note: So... is the drama too much already? I'm sorry.. I'm just typing the words that come to my head. Tell me what you think about this, please? And thank you for your comments... I really appreciate all you feedback.. Thank you <3