#gtae #unpreparedDad @gdandme

Taeyeon’s POV

Maybe I’m just stressed or maybe I’m hungry, maybe—no. Maybe it’s just Hyoyeon’s word keeps on getting on my head. It’s been days yet it still feels like awhile ago. It’s deafening and nerving. Every word that she said was still etched into my mind.

I tried to avoid her because I was pissed by what she said—not that she was right, but because she was forming this doubt on me. I didn’t like it. I was trying to avoid her but it’s crazy ‘cause I can’t. I’ve already had Sunny and Tiffany to be ignored and Hyoyeon is one of the few members I could talk to.

I was with Heechul-oppa for a change. We’ve been friends since I started being a member of SNSD.  We’re having a coffee together because apparently, we’re bored and he got nothing on his hands.

I know it doesn’t sounds good to say that I’m not stressed because the twins were on their Dad, but it feels different, it’s new. I feel like I’ve been born again to take care of myself and not to look after for the others. But yeah, it’s different now and with the twins coming into my life, I am more than blessed.

I’ve been seeing Jiyong for almost everyday but talking seems to be hard to do.

“You could tell me if you don’t want to have a coffee. I could always manage to drink alone.”I was snapped out of my reverie. I was like floating. Ugh.

“Sorry. I’m just stressed.”

“Yeah, obviously. Wanna talk about it?”

Should I talk to him? Knowing Heechul, he’ll just roll his eyes. He may be frank and harsh but everything that I’ve heard from his mouth since I knew him was all accurate and right. But I don’t want to drag him out with me on my dark pit. And so I shrugged. It’s better to keep it myself and resolve the issue itself.

“Come on, Taeyeon. Try me. Lately, I’ve been philosophical,” he said while looking at nowhere. Seriously, he’s acting weirdly.

“Alright,” I said. “Do you agree that when you fall in love with two guys, you should ditch the first one and be with the second one?”

“Are we talking about you?”

“OPPA!” I spat out. I don’t want him to know my problem. He’s friends with both of the guys and I do know a thing about boys and their secret talks. “Focus.”

“I may not be always on your side but I have ears and eyes, Taeyeon. I know everything about you, Sunny, Tiffany, Jessica and Jiyong. You’re angry and I get it, but whatever. Anyway, give me an example. It’s too vague.”

And I explained my thing, minus the most specific details. I’m afraid that what if one day Baekhyun will find out and leave me? It’s scaring me.

He was just sipping his coffee while looking at nothingness. He looked bored. It’s a wrong move talking to this guy.

“You’re done?” I nodded.

I was waiting for him to say anything—even his harsh remarks. I know I look desperate to ask for this guy’s advice. It was a cry for help! I don’t know what to do. You know I am not too friendly and when it comes to advices, I only have Tiffany for my first choice to rely on but that seemed too impossible to happen now. And with Hyoyeon, I’m pissed by what she said. she basically said that I should break up with Baekhyun!

“Taeyeon, split up with the both guys.”

“What?! No!”

“Alright. I’ll humor you and pretend that I don’t know we’re talking about Baekhyun and GD.”

“Oppa!”

“Kim Taeyeon, I’m a guy and you’re playing a dangerous game. Ditch them both or whatever,” he said.

As I was digesting everything that he said and understand the situation… my eyes started to water.

“So, I’m just gonna throw everything with Baekhyun?”

Oppa just extended his arm and patted my head.

“Stupid. I’m just concerned about you,” my tears just continued streaming. “But, do you love Baekhyun?”

Of course and I know I am doomed. It’s a big mess.

I didn’t answer because I wasn’t prepared to answer.

“You’ll be fine,” he said and then hugged me.

I directly went back to the building to stress myself more. I was supposed to avoid Baekyun for awhile for I might go for him and cry and tell him that I just cheated on him.

I was about to close the elevator when someone blocked it.

“Noona.”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Not a second after, I felt his hands on my arm. I was tempted to hold him and feel his touch against my skin. I missed him!

I gave up and I let him send me upstairs.

Do you know why I can’t just abandon Baekhyun aside from the fact that I love him? It’s because he was too good. He doesn’t force me to do things that I don’t like. When I say no, he respects it. When we are having fight, he won’t shout even if I am shouting at him. He will remain calm and say, ‘alright, let’s stop fighting. I know I’m at fault’ and we will end it with a hug. This is the best relationship for me.

And I won’t break up with him just because people are telling me to. This is my heart, my life, and my feelings. I will love whoever I want.

…

Days rolled in fast. I went my day with my usual routine—twins-work-twins-home. I never saw Jiyong p